chapter 12

Headmaster Dumbledore was furious. That dandified popinjay fraud had somehow managed to find and destroy the horcrux diary! Everything had been going along so marvellously, the little Witch had succumbed to its evil and the Basilisk was out. Harry and his friends were on track to solve the puzzle and save the Witch before it was too late. The Headmaster's stepping in at the last minute at save Harry would keep the boy under his influence, building on the fertile ground prepared through the actions of the neglectful Dursleys. The Witch would owe a Life Debt to the little black-haired Wizard, ensuring they became a couple no matter what they wanted. The Weasleys would accept the boy as one of their own and reinforce his control of the boy's destiny by proxy.

And that . . . that IDIOT, had ruined everything! The Weasleys mistrusted him now, and it would take hard work to regain their confidence. And Harry had done nothing! There was no connection between him and the Weasleys, now, except a minor friendship that was falling apart due to the stupid Weasley boy's jealousy.

Luckily, the suddenly competent Wizard hadn't noticed that Harry was the source of the "evil" taint he claimed to detect. And Lockhart's public meddling with the boy only mildly disturbed the old Wizard's master plan. The boy still looked upon the Headmaster as a grandfatherly figure and appeared to mistrust the D.A.D.A. Professor.

In the meantime, he needed a plan to separate the Potter heir from the mud-blood Granger Witch.

(◎_◎)

As Gilderoy had predicted, Madam Pomfrey released Colin Creevey from the infirmary on Monday. Unfortunately, all he had to contribute was that he had heard a noise as if something were sliding on the floor. He had lifted his camera to take a picture of this new event as he turned, and then nothing except two big yellow circles. No one knew that Ginny's "evil-wizard" diary had controlled the Basilisk. And the Weasleys were oath-bound to silence about it. And furious at the Headmaster, Lockhart was pleased to see.

Gilderoy had not so subtly suggested Colin go ask Miss Granger for help. "She'll make a schedule for you to catch up with your classmates, and if you ask nicely she might share her notes from last year in those classes. You'll be caught up in not time. You might have to study some over the hols, but it will be worth it."

He smiled down at the child and handed him a small bag. "I have authorized a thousand Pounds to buy a new camera, at Hogwarts' expense, to replace your damaged camera." The boy's eyes bulged in surprise as he took the bag. "For the best camera and the accessories you can get within that budget."

The boy was still staring at the bag as Gilderoy left the Hospital Wing. That it was Gilderoy giving the boy the bag and not the Headmaster was something the boy wouldn't notice until later. Colin's parents would notice immediately when he told them what had happened.

(◎_⊙)

"So," Gilderoy said triumphantly in his D.A.D.A. classes, "we have another fact about our mysterious monster! It has no feet or Mr. Creevey would have heard steps instead of a sliding sound. Mr. Malfoy, what conclusion do you reach from this?"

"It is definitely a snake."

"Yes," Gilderoy said exuberantly, "It is a snake! Five points, Mr Malfoy." Gilderoy had promised to return the two hundred points he had taken from Malfoy and he intended to keep his promise — he was a Wizard of his word! He would slowly return them in class with easy questions to Draco so no one would question why he had reversed his original penalty.

He smiled expansively, "What else do we know from Mr. Creevey's experience, Mr. Malfoy?"

The boy thought a moment. "He saw the snake through his camera."

"Yes," Gilderoy again cried out, "His camera was what is known as a single-lens reflex camera, which means it uses a mirror to reflect the image to the photographer before he takes a picture. Five points, Mr. Malfoy."

He gazed at the class. "Think children, you have all the evidence you need, now. Slytherin's monster is a snake of some kind. Last time it appeared, it killed a student. This time it petrified a student when he saw it in a mirror. But what about the cat? Why was the cat petrified and not killed?"

There was silence, and then Hermione's face lit up. She had figured it out. She whispered to Harry. He slowly raised his hand.

"Mr. Potter?"

"There was water all over the floor from Moaning Myrtle's toilets. Mrs. Norris saw the reflection of the snake!"

"Smashing! Five points, Miss Granger. And that means the monster must be? Mr. Malfoy?"

"A Basilisk!"

"Yes! You have it! Ten points, Mr. Malfoy."

"Congratulations class!" he said triumphantly. "You have accomplished what the Headmaster and the other so-called adults have failed to do in fifty years with the same evidence! And you did it by thinking logically. Logic is rare. Therefore it is upon the logic that you should dwell when faced with a problem."

Then he added conspiratorially, "Don't tell anyone that you know the monster is a Basilisk until after the hols start. Some of my other classes haven't figured it out yet. Hmm? Okay?"

They all nodded.

"Excellent! Now open you books to page . . . ."

(⊙_◎)

Gildroy opened his door to Ron. "Ah, excellent! Right on time. Come in, my boy." He stepped aside to allow entry. The redhead stood uncertainly, staring dismally at the pile of photographs and envelopes on the desk.

"Did you bring your pet, as I asked?" Gilderoy raised an eyebrow in query.

"Uh, yes, sir." The boy started digging in a pocket and a moment later held up the somnolent rat. "Why . . . ."

The boy got no further as the Wizard unleashed a stupefy on both the rat and the boy, catching them with a wave of his wand. He guided the boy to the chair and left him slumped there. The rat ended up on his desk. Gilderoy quickly cleared his desk and cast the spell forcing the animagus back into his human form. He carefully put three drops of veritaserum in the man's mouth, and then ennervated him. He spent the next four hours carefully quizzing the man on everything he remembered about the identities of Death Wizards and other Voldemort supporters.

Then he hid the man under a disillusionment charm. He pulled out a rat he had previously acquired and spelled to look like Scabbers. He dropped that rat in the boy's pocket. An ennervate followed by a confundo brought the boy awake with the impression that he had spent the last four hours addressing letters and no recollection of any inquiries or requests about his pet rat. The rat would behave just as Scabbers used to do, sleeping most of the day and night. It had a spell on it preventing it from wandering away from wherever the boy left it.

Once the boy had left for his dorm, Gilderoy returned to his interrogation of the rat-faced Wizard. By the time he was ready to "find" the evil Wizard in second term, Harry/Gilderoy would have a very good understanding of the Dark Lord's financial backing, supporters, and hideouts.

The hideouts he would raid, clean out everything useful, then them burn to the ground. The financial supporters he would bankrupt, one way or another. The others, well, he would figure out a way to remove their influence.

(⊙_⊙)

Just as it had happened in Harry's previous life, the Headmaster approved Gilderoy's request for a Duelling Club. Thursday night, December 17th, most of the student body appeared to check it out, carrying their wands and looking excited. At Lockhart's request, Professors McGonagall, Flitwick, Snape, and Sinistra attended, as well. Flitwick, a former duelling champion agreed to act as a referee in the duels, and coach the students in how to do so.

The Headmaster had transformed the Great Hall. The long dining tables had vanished and a golden stage had appeared along one wall, lit by thousands of candles floating overhead.

Gilderoy, grinning broadly, walked onto the stage, resplendent in robes of deep plum. A scowling Snape, wearing his usual black, followed him.

Lockhart waved an arm for silence and called, "Gather round, gather round! Can everyone see me? Can you all hear me? Excellent!

"Now, Professor Dumbledore has granted me permission to start this little duelling club, to train you all in case you ever need to defend yourselves as I myself have done on countless occasions — for full details, see my published works.

"Let me introduce my assistant, Professor Snape," said Lockhart, flashing a wide smile. Snape sneered at him. Gilderoy knew that referring to him as his assistant irritated the Wizard. "He tells me he knows a tiny little bit about duelling himself and has sportingly agreed to help me with a short demonstration before we begin. Now, I don't want any of you youngsters to worry — you'll still have your Potions master when I'm through with him, never fear!" He posed dramatically and listened as those closest to the stage murmured that they really wouldn't miss that particular Wizard all that much.

Lockhart turned to face Snape and both bowed. Well, at least, Lockhart did. Snape merely jerked his head irritably. Then they raised their wands like swords in front of them.

"As you see, we are holding our wands in the accepted combative position, notice how were stand sideways to each other to provide the smallest target profile to our opponent," Lockhart told the silent crowd. "On the count of three, we will cast our first spells. Neither of us will be aiming to kill, of course."

Snape bared his teeth at Lockhart. For some reason he seemed offended that the seemingly foppish and lackadaisical Wizard was as competent as he had appeared this last month.

"One — two — three —"

Both of them swung their wands above their heads and then pointed them at their opponent. Snape cried, "Expelliarmus!" There was a dazzling flash of scarlet light. Lockhart tried not to snicker as he sidestepped the spell. He held up his hand in a motion to halt the duel. Snape looked more furious than before.

"Notice how I did not attempt to block the spell! Instead I conserved my magical strength by letting it pass me harmlessly," he explained. "Many duels go not to the Wizard with the most power or the one who knows the most spells, but to the Wizard who uses his strength sparingly and allows his opponent to wear himself down, and then takes advantage of any mistakes." He smiled tauntingly at the Potions professor. "Again, Professor Snape."

The students watched, stunned, as the two Wizards appeared to dance as their spells flew across the platform. Before the meeting, the two had exchanged a list of spells they would restrict themselves to, nothing a Fourth Year student did not know. As a result, the students heard many of the spells they knew.

Gilderoy emerged triumphant. While Professor Snape had spent several years duelling with Death Eaters, for the last ten he had only taught potions — he was rusty. Harry/Gilderoy, on the other hand, had spent the last five years in almost daily deadly battle. At the end of the first ten seconds, Professor Snape knew that Gilderoy could take him down at any time, and that he was prolonging the fight to provide the students with an exhibition of his talent. It infuriated the Death Eater, who sorely wanted to wipe that maddening lazy grin from the other professor's face, but knew he daren't resort to the more deadly spells he knew. And if he did, just what deadly spells did the fop know? Snape had never dreamed that the twit was better at duelling than himself.

It was a jelly-legs spell that started his downfall. A mere misstep, then the leg-locker spell, the langlock, followed by a simple Accio. Professor Snape glared at Gilderoy.

"You see, it takes only a moment's lapse in concentration to lose a duel." He finited the spells on Snape.

"Let's see how the Witches handle duels, shall we? Professor Sinistra and Professor McGonagall? How about a demonstration?" He stepped off the platform to the floor.

Shortly after the excited urgings of the students, the two Witches were at either end of the platform, glaring half-heartedly at the dandy for putting them on the spot. Gilderoy and Snape watched as the two women exchanged salvos of spells, dodging and blocking as needed. As they applauded Sinistra's win, Gilderoy said loudly, "Ah, Professor Snape, I do believe it might be educational for the two us to challenge the ladies to a Doubles Duel."

Before the other could object, he mounted the steps to the platform and said, "Excellent show, ladies, excellent! Now children," he turned and addressed his audience, posing dramatically. "Not all duels are fought on a one-to-one basis, and in real life it is wise to remember that others might be about on the field that you need to watch. So, ladies," he turned to the two women still panting a bit from their exercise, "What would you say to quick Doubles Duel, Wizards against Witches?"

The two stared at him while Snape positively glared.

"Excellent, I knew you would agree." He ploughed over any chance they might have had to object, taking their surprised silence for assent.

"Now, then, children. As you all know, Professor McGonagall is an expert at transfigurations, and that last duel rather unfairly handicapped her by restricting her to Fourth Year or below spells — she couldn't really use her talents. So, for the Doubles Duel the only restrictions will be no Dark Spells."

The Hall buzzed with excitement as the students happily anticipated seeing such an unusual duel.

"Come, come, Professor Snape," Lockhart said, waving the scowling man to the platform. As the Wizard reluctantly climbed the steps, the D.A.D.A. Professor said, "We'll make this simple, the first team to incapacitate one of the other team, or to deprive one of them of his or her wand shall be the winner." He paused just long enough to get a nod from the women. "And to make it a bit more fun, the losing team shall treat the other team to a supper date at The Three Broomsticks this Friday," Gilderoy managed to pop out before Harry could stop him. The students burst into cheers and laughter, making it impossible for the other three to decline without looking petulant.

Moments later, the four were at battle. Gilderoy started things off with a quick avis to provide McGonagall with some ammunition. After that, he merely tried to stay out of the way, using his shield far more than he had with Snape. Snape was clearly unused to working with a teammate and thus tried to focus on one opponent expecting Gilderoy to do the same. The ladies had quickly cottoned to the idea of teamwork and Minerva worked primarily on defence while Aurora worked on offense. Gilderoy worked mostly defence and only occasionally attacked, making it just a matter of time before Aurora hit Severus with a spell and putting him out of the competition.

Laughing delightedly, Gilderoy said, "Excellent show ladies, excellent! So, Professor Snape and I shall meet you in the Entryway at, say, seven tomorrow evening?"

Blushing slightly, the two women quickly assented. Snape was scowling worse than ever. "Tut, tut, Severus, we just won a date with two lovely Witches, you should be smiling," he said as he finited the hex on the other. The closer students, overhearing what he had said, snickered, making the Potions Professor's scowl deepen.

With the Headmaster's assistance, they quickly divided the students into rows facing each other, with protection enchantments behind each row. They then had the students practice shielding and using a jelly-legs hex. Gilderoy said, "Any student using a spell other than jelly-legs will spend a detention with Mr. Filch!" With that injunction, the next hour passed quickly as the professors helped the students master techniques. Afterwards, Gilderoy happily announced that the duelling club would meet every Thursday. The students dispersed to their dorms, tired and excited over what they had learned.

The next evening Gilderoy had almost to drag Professor Snape from his dungeon office. "I did not agree to a date, Professor Lockhart! This is entirely your fault." His scowl, if anything was worse than the day before. "I have no interest in a tea date!"

"Come, come, Severus," Gilderoy said with a beaming smile. "It's just a little get together with a couple of our feminine associates here at Hogwarts. A little chance to let our hair down and have a good time without the worries of students, grading, or schedules. Who knows what might happen?"

Snape stopped dead in the corridor. "Are you mad?" he demanded, eyes narrowed as he stared at the D.A.D.A. professor.

"Not at all, not at all. I'm just looking for a bit of fun and relaxation, and a tea with two lovely Witches should do just that," Gilderoy replied complacently. He frowned and turned to face the other Wizard. "Unless . . . you prefer the company of Wizards?" He watched with a self-satisfied smile as Snape's eyes widened at the implication. "If you'd really rather not meet with our dates for the night, I'd be quite happy to tender your apologies and say that you are unable to accompany us due to unforeseen requirements on your potion-making abilities. I'm sure they would understand that providing an emergency potion to St. Mungos would take priority over supper." He winked at the increasingly furious Wizard, "I won't mention the real reason, of course. That would be gauche."

Snape's hand twitched towards his wand pocket. "I do not prefer the company of Wizards," he ground out through clenched teeth.

"Excellent!" He positively beamed happiness at the other. "I did not like to think I had made such a grievous error in your proclivities. I'm sure the ladies will be most pleased to see us." He turned and headed down the corridor. God, it felt great to take the micky out of that stuck-up prat. He could almost see the steam coming out of the Wizard's ears.

They arrived at the Entry Hall only a few minutes before the ladies did. Tea in the Great Hall was usually over by seven at the latest, and there were an unusual number of students hanging about. Gilderoy loved an audience, but it was rather clear this audience, mostly Witches, were here to spy on their professors. While he didn't care, he couldn't let things stand as they were — the ladies might not like the obvious voyeuristic aspects of their students.

"Ah, children, how nice to see you all," he paused and bestowed a brilliant smile upon the gathered students. A number of the Witches sighed. "But you shouldn't loiter in the Entry Hall . . . don't you have homework assignments? I'm sure I remembered giving out an assignment in my marvellous Defence Against Dark Arts class." With a disappointed, "aw. . . ," the Hall cleared out remarkably quickly. A few of the smarter Witches went back into the Great Hall and peeked around the edges of the two doors.

Gilderoy was sure the two ladies understood why they passed a large stream of students, mostly Witches, suddenly leaving the area of the Great Hall.

While the two women were not dressed to the nines, they were dressed in non-school robes open at the fronts over flattering dresses. Harry was startled to realize that both women had a fair amount of cleavage and didn't mind showing it.

Gilderoy was, of course, the best dressed of the quartet while Snape was the worst. Not that he was wearing old or worn robes, they were nice, just not that nice. One got the feeling he didn't usually need anything other than school robes and so had a very small selection in his closet. That his hair looked like someone had dumped a vat of grease on it didn't help his appearance any. Snape had sneeringly refused to use any of the hair products Gilderoy had recommended earlier in the day to tame the Potions Professor's stringy hair.

Lockhart had reserved two tables for the couples, close enough together that they could talk if they wished, yet not so close as to preclude a private conversation should either couple desire it. He steered Minerva to one table, leaving Snape to seat Sinistra. They had a lovely lamb, with wine. Gilderoy discovered that Minerva had once been married. "No, really?" he said in surprise.

"Really." She smiled sadly. "I used to work for the Ministry and became quite close with my boss, Elphinstone Urquart. He was quite brilliant, and handsome, too." She momentarily put her hand on Gilderoy's, eyes sparkling. She sat back. "I was . . . dissatisfied with the way the Ministry worked and when Albus offered me a position at Hogwarts, I readily accepted." She stopped and took a drink of her wine. "Elp visited frequently and during one visit, he proposed." She paused and smiled, remembering. "I said no. I was still in love with Dougal McGregor." She sighed softly. "I met Doug after I graduated, but he was a Muggle and I just couldn't see giving up magic. I thought that was the end of my love life."

She shook her head. "But Elp was persistent. In 1981 Doug died in an accident." She looked down at the table. "That summer Elp proposed again during a summertime stroll around the lake here at Hogwarts. We were married in 1982 and bought a cottage in Hogsmeade, which I still have, actually. I rent it out." She was silent for a few minutes. "I was very happy. We were very happy. Then, three years later, Elp died from a bite by a Venomous Tentacula." She sat reminiscing silently for a few minutes. Gilderoy left her to it. Harry and Gilderoy had learned more about their Transfigurations Professor in the past ten minutes than in the entire combined thirteen years they had spent at Hogwarts.

Gilderoy studied the woman. She had been singularly unlucky in love. On the other hand, his experience over the years had taught him that widows were much more appreciative of his attentions than the younger Witches. The younger ones expected to capture his heart and live a life of adventure with plenty of galleons to spend. The widows were more . . . grounded. They had security in their jobs or estates. They were not looking to hand over control of their lives to a Wizard. They had far more freedom if they stayed . . . unattached.

Harry was not a virgin — you can't make it through seven years of war without giving in to base desires. Knowing either or both might be dead by that time the next day added urgency to temporary relationships as both attempted to forget their near-death experience hours before in a celebration of life. A few times, he had not even known the Witch's name, although they always seemed to know his.

But! McGonagall?

Fortunately, while Harry took over in matters dealing with conflict, Gilderoy had vastly more experience in dealing with Witches. And after three glasses of wine, Harry's resistance to Gilderoy's manipulations was not very determined.

Minerva looked up, "Well, Gilderoy, I must say you have done well for yourself since graduating."

Gilderoy smiled broadly, using a bit of Harry's magic to move his hair a bit as if in a breeze. He was all set to launch into a long-winded description, undoubtedly boring, of his books when Harry stomped down on him. He was not going to let Gilderoy make a fool of him in front of his favourite professor!

"Please, call me Gil, Minerva. And, yes, I'm not nearly as much a prat as I was in Hogwarts ten years ago. I've changed. While I love to see my name in print, there are more important things than that."

She arched her eyebrows in surprise.

"To tell you the truth, I think I've personally accomplished more since I started teaching here at Hogwarts than anything I did since I graduated." His smile softened. "Nothing I've done before can match Mr. Longbottom's expression when he launched that magnificent patronus in the Great Hall. Nor the smile on Miss Lovegood's face when she's with her friends at the Gryffindor table." He paused a moment, his lips quirking into a smirk. "And Miss Granger's expressions when Miss Lovegood starts talking about Nargles or Crumple-Horned Snorkacks are just too amusing."

He noticed his tea partner suppressing a smile.

"And the Defence Against Dark Arts classes! I think you'll see the scores at year's end for all the students to be their highest in forty years. Did you see last night that all the First, Second, Third, and Fourth year students can cast the Protego and hold it for at least five seconds? On September First, only some of the Fourth Year students could do that. One of my goals this year is to have all the Fourth Year and above students cast a Patronus. Maybe not corporeal, but better than just a mist.

"Love is the key to the Patronus, you know. Not happiness. A key mistake in teaching that's been happening for a thousand years. Can you imagine?" He shook his head.

"The muggles have a saying, Minerva, 'Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day, teach a man to fish and he will eat every day.' That's what I'm doing with my class. I'm teaching an entire generation how to survive. And should Voldemort return, or another Dark Lord appear, we shan't have a bunch of spineless timid mice demanding a half-blood pre-teen save them."

"For Merlins sake, each and every Wizard and Witch is carrying a deadly weapon! A dozen Death Eaters appear in Diagon Alley with a hundred Wizards shopping there. If all the Wizards pulled out their wands and shouted stupefy, the Death Eaters would all be captured! Instead, they scream, run, and end up dead. Half the people in my books could have saved themselves if they only took two seconds to think and used their wands!"

He leaned back in his chair. "Sorry, I didn't mean to get preachy."

She was staring at him in disbelief. "What happened to you, Gil? I remember you in my classes, and you were nothing like this." She shook her head. "You were a terrible student, to tell the truth. If you couldn't see a way for a spell to bring you attention, you didn't study it." Her eyes narrowed as she stared at him. "The Gilderoy I knew could never have handled those two duels as well as you did. Nor taught a class with nearly the skill that you have. You're like a completely different person."

He shifted uncomfortably. She was hitting far too close to the mark. He glanced over at Sinistra and Snape. They were engrossed in their food, Snape sullenly attacking it as if it had cast aspersions upon his mother's fidelity and Sinistra eating daintily but seemingly miffed at her date's lack of conversation. Perhaps she was listening, to them. Perhaps not.

Softly, so that only Minerva could hear, he said, "I met Mr. Potter this summer. You may recall an article in The Daily Prophet about how I found him in Flourish and Blotts, and then mysteriously collapsed?"

She nodded, intrigued.

"Something happened. Something touched me. I daren't say more because people would think I am quite mad." He paused, thinking. He hadn't considered telling anyone about what he was doing. He should be able to do it all himself, but what if there was an accident? He sighed.

"I am not a Seer. It is far too a fuzzy discipline with results that are impossible to analyse with any certainty. While a few gifted individuals can foresee the future, what they see is usually so muddy they cannot explain, and only after the events come to pass do we see how their predictions applied. Bu that day, in Flourish and Blotts, I saw things.

"What I learned, I am still coming to terms with. Terrible times are coming if I do not act. It forced me . . . to reconsider my goals. I spent the last few weeks of the summer revising my . . . experiences." He smiled ruefully at her. "I paid far more attention in class than you professors credited me with. It's just that I didn't see the practical applications of what I knew, so I didn't attempt to impress you with my skills."

He looked up at the ceiling for a moment. "Last year was just a precursor, Minerva, the Troll, the dead Unicorns, Quirrell's possession," he said softly.

"Did the Headmaster tell you about the diary?" She nodded. "That it was aimed at Mr. Potter?" She frowned at that. Perhaps he hadn't made the connection. "That the monster in the Chamber of Secrets, if unchecked, would have sought him out and brought him to the brink of death, just like Quirrell did last year. Did the Headmaster tell you that the creature in the Chamber is a Basilisk? That it uses the pipes in the walls and floors to move around the school? That it is still there?"

He watched her expressions sift from interested, to surprised, to horrified.

"And if you ask the Headmaster about the Basilisk, he will tell you all is well. That the creature is trapped in the Chamber, just as it was fifty years ago. That Hogwarts is the safest place in the world. How can that be true, though?

"Harry Potter almost died four times last year. Any school where the protective enchantments fail to detect the presence of Voldewhore is not what I would call safe — would you? The diadem that I recovered was another version of him, one hidden in Hogwarts for over fifty years. Hidden in Hogwarts. For fifty years.

"This year, yet another Dark artefact carrying a version of Voldewhore made it through the protective enchantments undetected, carried into the school in her robes. Only one student was petrified, unlike the last time someone claimed to have opened the Chamber when it killed Miss Warren. But I do not doubt that by June Mr. Potter would have found himself in a life-or-death struggle with that version of Tom Riddle, Lord Voldemort, if I had not interfered. Can you still call the school the safest place in the England? And what about next year? What horrible disaster is waiting in the wings? Are there going to be flocks of Dementors surrounding the school? Or perhaps a Death Eater whom everyone thinks is dead becomes the D.A.D.A. Professor disguised as a retired Auror?"

She shuddered at each mention of the Dark Lord's name.

"And there is still an evil Wizard concealed within Hogwarts, even as I speak."

She gave him a startled look.

He nodded. "Yes, there is. And I don't mean Professor Snape, either! I shall find him, just you watch. Gilderoy Lockhart's name will grace the front page yet again! And everyone will ask, 'How can Hogwarts be the safest place in England if an evil Wizard, one with the Dark Mark on his arm, can live there, year after year, without being detected? How is that safe for our children?'" He shook his head sadly, and then looked up at her beaming proudly, "But, never fear, for Gilderoy Lockhart, Order of Merlin, Third Class, Honorary Member of the Dark Force Defence League, five-time winner of Witch Weekly's Most-Charming-Smile Award, and Hogwarts' beloved Defence Against the Dark Arts Professor is here! I will make Hogwarts the safest place in England!

"I found the missing Ravenclaw Diadem, I found Tom Riddle's diary possessing a student, I bought the mandrakes to cure the petrified student six months early, I will find the vile Wizard hiding in Hogwarts, and I will deal with the Basilisk so it can never again threaten the students!"

She stared at him for a long time, then smiled. "I think I like this new version of Gilderoy." By the time they finished dessert, and another glass of wine, things between them were much friendlier.

The carriage ride back to the school was quiet. Lockhart could tell that Snape had bollixed his part of the date, as Sinistra looked unhappy. He would have to make it up to her later.

To his surprise, Minerva, or 'Min' as she asked him to call her, invited him inside her apartment for a nightcap of a small Fire Whisky. "If you tell anyone that I invited you in tonight, I'll make your time here in the castle a living hell," she said softly, finishing hers only moments after he had his.

Gilderoy had grinned happily. "Min, in all the times you've seen me in the newsparchments have you ever seen a story about me with a Witch? Or even a rumour? Maybe the mention of someone I dated once or twice, but never anything more." He scooted closer to her on the couch, "There's a reason for that. I am extremely discrete." He didn't add that he found the obliviate charm worked quite well the next morning, leaving his conquests with the idea that they had a wonderful time the night before but just weren't quite sure with whom. Not that he would be doing that anymore.

She stared at him through lidded eyes, "I'm not looking for anything beyond tonight."

"Neither am I. I've never been monogamous. If you wish, we can be — how do the muggles say it? Ah, yes — friends with benefits, for as long or short a time as you desire. And I will have other friends as well, just so you know. In any case, I'm sure the curse will have me out of here in June, anyway."

She chuckled drily, "There is that."

Gilderoy demonstrated to Harry that he did indeed have skills when it came to women — that it wasn't just that he oblivated the women of any bad feelings they might have had when dawn arrived. Min had nothing to complain about the next morning. And she was just as appreciative of his attentions as most lonely widowed women were. And she had a beautiful smile that took decades off her appearance.

And Harry Potter? He had an average Friday night playing Exploding Snap with Neville, Colin, Hermione, Luna, Susan, and Hannah.