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Flowery Bastard Winning at Life

Man reincarnated in DxD as Merlin's descendent. "What do you mean original Merlin was a respectable wizard?!" Merlin said as he took a puff out of his Divine Blunt. Infrequent Updates since I am writing as inspiration comes. 7(?) Girls Harem(One for each day!), Non-Violent MC, OP Powers, Essence CYOA, What Romance?.

TurkishJesus · 漫画同人
分數不夠
47 Chs

Chapter 17

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FloweryBastard: I shared my fish with you pls respond...

xXx_Morning_Star_xXx: What do you want!? It's like 3 am.

FloweryBastard: I thought devils were nocturnal? Anyway, I found a newly evolved Longinus.

xXx_Morning_Star_xXx: I didn't even know they could evolve... Where is it?

FloweryBastard: I want a date.

xXx_Morning_Star_xXx: Merlin...

FloweryBastard: I want a date.

xXx_Morning_Star_xXx: Fine, I'll call you when I am available.

FloweryBastard: Goodnight! *Meredith.pdf*

xXx_Morning_Star_xXx: Goodnight...

xXx_Morning_Star_xXx is offline.

______

I put my phone back in my robes and focus on my job, I am creating an extensive protective array on Meredith's soul.

I mean seriously her Sacred Gear is freaking broken she even managed to seal Issei's pervert side in the LN. I can't have it fall into wrong hands but I am too lazy to do anything more than this.

I can't believe I have been working on this for a month...

Yes, also it's been about a month since I started teaching Le Fay. She's drinking the lessons like nothing.

She doesn't have much in way of magic reserves then again I am comparing her with myself but she's making up with her versatile style.

It would have been better if she had focused on something, not everyone has cheats like me after all.

Apart from teaching Le Fay, many things happened this month. First of all, I sent Valerie to Gremorys...

What!? I had no use for her after I finished my audio lectures with God and she wasn't a waifu since this version of her prefers woman or very feminine men, I mean VERY feminine men.

She would be happier riding Gasper, maybe he'll grow a pair by the time of whatever left of Canon. I mean he does grow up during the story but why not earlier.

Also, the church was too busy learning my Miracle System that they didn't even notice her going missing from my side. Yes, there are spies everywhere.

I advertised the new system by saying "Unlike my ancestor I developed this system by observing the flow of holy power that Angels use for their spells."

I made a bet with Angelica on how long it will take Heaven to notice and go "Wait a second..."

On to the matters that I actually care about. Since the canon is mostly dead I located Excaliburs, I want to get this over with and order something from Vivian.

To my luck church doesn't hide them because of their stupidity, two of the blades were each stored by the Catholic Church, Protestant Church of England, and the Eastern Orthodox Church.

That's six pieces, Arthur and Vali have yet to take that fateful trip to find the last piece. I can locate it once I got the others though.

"Sensei are you going out?" Le Fay calls out, I gave her homework so she's working on that.

"Yes." I reply as I straighten my robes.

"Then what about the child on your shoulders?" I look up, my eyes meet with the eyes of Ophis.

"She's coming with me, she asked for some banana pudding. Do you want some as well?"

Apparently, Cao Cao bitched on Ophis because I banned them from approaching the Golden Dawn building.

So she decided that I would be a nice addition to her war against Baka Red... I tricked her into tagging along with promises of banana puddings.

"Yes! Thank you sensei." Le Fay practically jumps in her seat.

"Well, let's go hunt some Excaliburs Ophis-chan."

"Hn."

"Wait what did you say sensei!?..." Le Fay gets up to run behind us.

"...Sensei!!!" But she wasn't able to catch us.

...

"As someone who snuck in Heaven and claimed a part of it as my own cannabis farm, it is not hard for me to sneak into these places where they keep the swords." I openly monologue.

"Why?" Ophis asks.

"Eh things have been boring with the previous two swords, I figured you could use the narration..." I mean without someone talking, it gets awkward.

"No need." I shrug and keep working on the two swords in front of me.

Vivian's words gave me an idea, she said the current abilities of the swords are something God added and the main function stopped working after the sword broke.

So what I am doing is the extraction of the original sword while keeping the 'reforged' Excaliburs 'untouched'.

I am even adding some holy power to make sure people don't realize swords getting tampered with. I am also adding a surprise in them just in case Holy Sword Arc still happens.

'That is four down.'

The other two are owned by Xenovia and Irina, one of them lives in England, and the other lives in Italy.

Golden Dawn is located in England. Naturally, I went after Xenovia first and snuck into her room luckily she wasn't on a mission. It is their mistake to not store their swords in a hammerspace.

Although I must admit Xenovia has some serious cake, that booty is sinful...

Wait, all of the church trios have nice asses including Asia. Perhaps it's a church thing? Their combat outfit is scandalous too.

"It was the original Merlin that decided on those outfits back in the day." Ophis reads my mind?

"Ehh my ancestor was a wise man." I chuckle nervously.

"You've been staring at her outfit I didn't read your mind or anything." Phew, also yes Xenovia is sleeping with her combat outfit...

"Well, Ophis while you're feeling chatty can I ask something?"

"Sure..."

"How do you deal with the noise?" Ophis nearly crushed my head with her thighs before jumping down from my shoulders.

"Describe it." I do my best to explain, it is hard to put it into words.

"You can really hear it... Others didn't believe me when I said that but since you can hear it as well we are in this together." In the end, Ophis nodded like she came to a decision and took my hand, almost possessively.

Finding Irina was easier compared to Xenovia since Shidou's own a restaurant and I did order from them before, they live two towns away from Golden Dawn HQ. As an anime mom, Irina's mother cooks great food, so I eat there sometimes.

Luckily Irina wasn't on a mission as well so I was able to sneak into her room and extract the Excalibur out of Excalibur Mimic.

Once I had all six pieces in the scabbard I put it on a magic circle and used a locator spell to find the last piece.

At this point, Ophis have already fallen asleep while clinging to me, I don't know how though. Wait I did smoke a little maybe she fell asleep once her headache went away?

So I dropped her off at my workshop with a mountain of banana puddings as an apology for leaving her alone.

The last piece was in a ruin leftover from the great war. You need the luck of a main character to find it but I had cheats and the best locator spell this world has ever seen, so it wasn't hard.

Once the last piece got absorbed into the scabbard I got swallowed by golden lights and found myself in front of Vivian's lake.

She was already waiting for me there, without any words I presented the complete sword.

"I am thankful for your services Merlin. Do you wish to use your favor?"

"Yes, can you forge this?" I handed her a blueprint of the ultimate sword. I had trouble making that blueprint, let's hope she can forge it.

Vivian looked over it, her eyes widening as she read, then dropped it into the lake.

(I was quite eager to write Vivian lemon at the beginning but now it is just meh...)

"Yes, I can forge it. Now there's something else I am offering..." She got closer.

Vivian's clothes dissolved into the water leaving her naked as she hugged me.

"I am sure Arthur told you about it."

"Yes..." I look over her shoulder towards the tentacles made from water. "Vanilla has always been a preference of mine."

"Such pitty but it's your reward, not mine." I let Vivian push me to water so I would be floating.

She sheathed herself with my mighty Excalibur in a single move moaning at the sensation.

"Arthur and Morgan don't come to play anymore so forgive me if my performance is inadequate but please let me do the work." I nod as she starts moving.

It is pretty enjoyable since the water itself is Vivan as well she's giving me a massage while riding me like there's no tomorrow.

Her insides impossibly slippery allowing her to move at extreme speeds that would have killed me a year ago.

After some time much waited release comes as Vivian's back arches. Seeing me still hard Vivian chuckled darkly and started moving once more.

At the end of the night, I slept floating on the lake while Vivan sucked me off with a jubilant expression.