Metatron hold my Ramen, I got this! by Yorae Rasante (NarutoxDxD)

Latest Update:Assumed to be dropped

Summary: The Face and Voice of God visits Konoha... looking for the one he has the face and voice of. Now, even though it is hard to believe he is God of the Bible, Naruto lived through so much they decided to give the guy a chance and he went to visit his world... until Naruto makes a quick stop in Kuoh and derails everything. The Devil's Luck... or whatever... indeed.

Link: https://m.fanfiction.net/s/12975368/1/

Word Count:55k

Chapters: 10

Chapter 1: God Naruto

IIIII

Sasuke left the village, his head held high and his left arm gone.

Tsunade was willing to make him a substitute, but he refused. The reason, be it pride or repentance, was kept only between the two of them.

The point is, he just left the village, saying goodbye to the other members of Team 7.

Which was why he was so surprised meeting Naruto in front of him.

"Excuse me," Naruto asked, in a weird voice. It startled Sasuke when he figured out, the voice sounded the same… but the difference was that this Naruto was calm, polite and… did not recognize him.

And definitely got startled when Sasuke drew his sword in his direction, Sharingan spinning in his eye.

"Woah, I'm sorry, did I do something wrong?"

"Did you… why do you look and sound like Naruto?" Sasuke asked through gritted teeth.

"Look and… oh, that's perfect, so you know him personally!" the stranger said with a smile. A wide smile just like Naruto's, but the man did not act like Naruto so that smile became wrong wrong wrong—

"Well, how do I explain… do you believe in reincarnation?"

Sasuke nodded despite himself. Hard not to, when he was a transmigrant. Well, they may be different things, but he never bothered to find out the difference.

"Well, long story short, my adopted father used a skill to make me look and sound like him, to work as a diplomat in his name. He… died some time ago, but recently when I was traveling nearby my appearance and voice changed. I've been trying to find who I believe to be his reincarnation since then."

Sasuke snorted. "You story is hard to believe, but my sharingan didn't detect any sign of you lying, so either you believe it or you are better at lying than me at detecting… And I played poker with Naruto. He lives in the village right there," he said, pointing to behind himself over his shoulder. "I suggest disguising your face and voice and asking for Uzumaki Naruto, though. Most people would think it is just one of his pranks."

The stranger nodded, and henged himself into a brown-haired man. "Thank you, young one."

Sasuke was going to say something, but then remembered this person was probably older than Naruto, for his adopted father to be the idiot's previous incarnation, so he just nodded and went on his way.

He sighed. Since when did a random person looking for someone because they were a person's reincarnation make total sense to him?

And, well, if the person lied and somehow fooled his sharingan… it's Naruto. He won't lose that easily.

Besides, it's not like his henge would fool anyone.

IIIII

Naruto and Sakura, followed by Kakashi who seemed to have been somehow convinced not to be late, arrived at the Hokage's office just in time to see… Tsunade downing a whole bottle of sake, Shizune downing a second one more slowly, and… a shadow clone of Naruto?

"Proceed," said Tsunade, to the confusion of the visitors.

"That's… it, really. Oh, and I'd like to take him to see our home, even if he decides not to stay," said the shadow clone, in a completely non-Naruto way.

"That's on him, I guess," Tsunade said, nursing her head as if staving off a headache… an action all viewing seemed to be familiar with save the shadow clone.

"Baa-chan, what is going on?" Naruto asked, ready to evade a high-speed office implement… that… never came?

"And speak of the devil, or… whatever he is," Tsunde said, shaking her head. "Hey brat, come here. We found this guy sulking around town looking for you under a very unconvincing henge."

Naruto entered cautiously, looking at the shadow clone… that now he could see only had his appearance. He did not act or feel like one of his clones.

"Hello, Uzumaki Naruto," the clone said. "My name is Enoch, but most know me as Metatron."

Naruto looked at the clone.

Then turned to Tsunade.

"Baa-chan, I swear I didn't know shadow clones could get lives of their own if left by themselves! I'll take care to pay attention and dispel every one of them from now on!"

"I'm not a clone, Naruto-sama," Enoch said.

"Really? Naruto asked, confused. So you just happen to look like me, sound like me and even have the same birthmarks?"

"Actually, there's a reason for all of that. And actually just my head and skin tone is the same as yours, I think I'm a few centimeters shorter and I bet we have different scars."

Saying that, Enoch shows his arms, showing they are both scarred, while Naruto's natural one is blemish-free.

"Ok... then what is the reason?"

"Oh, a previous incarnation of yours used a technique on me so I would look and sound like him, or right now you, to be his public face and voice."

"Uh… hum…"

"Well," Sakura interrupted, "you did meet previous incarnations of Indra and Asura. You fought Madara besides Harishama-sama, remember?" she pointed out.

"That's a transmigrant, Sakura-chan," Kakashi corrected. "That's more of a possession of people with similar souls. More like giving someone else your kidney or eye, not growing a new one."

"Ok, let's pretend this makes sense—" Naruto started, just to be interrupted by Tsunade.

"Which, considering that you fought an unzombified Madara and a goddess before being brought back to our dimension by the souls of previous kages and the Sage of Six Paths, who you met before when he helped bring you back to life stronger than ever…"

"When you put it like that…" Naruto agreed.

"No, that is not the hard to believe part. Now we are getting to the hard to believe part."

Enoch nodded. "In our land, your earlier incarnation was known as a god."

"…a god," Naruto repeated. "As in Kaguya, god."

"Stronger."

"Well… we defeated Kaguya, so it isn't that hard to believe…" Naruto nodded to himself. "Being a god is clearly overrated."

"Excuse me?" Sakura asked, incredulous. "Were we at the same battle, because I clearly remember us almost dying for her many times. Tobi, or Obito or whatever he wanted to be called did die!"

"I know, I know," Naruto raised his hands, trying to placate her. "It's just that… We did win despite her being a goddess. And now this guy's god is dead enough to reincarnate."

"He… kinda has a point," Enoch interrupted.

"Of course you'd take his side," Sakura grumbled.

"All I mean is that, while my god in life was in the top four strongest beings, he wasn't the top one. The others top aren't even gods. …The 'top 10' list , that does not count the top 4, now 3, also feel like they aren't made of as many gods a people seem to think… but again, they'd think all of them would be…

Gods are strong, but they aren't the be-all end-all of creation as most seem to think."

"Wait, what?" Naruto asked, confused. "A top 10 ignoring the top 4? How does that even work?"

Enoch shrugged. "Supposedly the top 4 are so stronger than the next one they decided not to count them."

Naruto blinked.

Then blinked again.

"And what was Kaguya?"

Enoch took a deep breath. "Kaguya… was strong, but she is not even in the top 10."

"And my past incarnation was part of these top 4."

"Yes."

"…I call bullshit. We wouldn't have had near as close a problem with Kaguya if it was so."

"Well, your past self was... old. And trained and experienced. I'm actually surprised you are already strong enough my face changed."

"How old?"

"Thousands of years old. Trust me, the power you have now? Barely scratching your potential."

"O…k. Let's assume I am the reincarnation of your god and you can somehow prove it. What now?"

"Well…" Enoch started, rubbing the back of his head in a very Naruto way before noticing it and stopping with a neutral face, "I was hoping you'd come visit our… uhm, land, and maybe if you agreed assume again the mantle of… well, our equivalent of your Kages…"

"What? No! I swore that I would become Hokage and I never go back on my word! How—"

"I was hoping shadow clones…" Enoch flinched a bit at Naruto's denial. "I'm not saying to go back on your word, I'd never dream, or have nightmares, about it. I'm not saying you have to take it right now, not even sure if you can, you need a few decades to be ready, more than long enough to train the next Hokage… but just visit and meet the others, they've been without you in their lives for so long… I mean, for us you are the reincarnation of our father, even if not all were created directly by your past life…"

Naruto sighed. Deeply.

"I won't have to give up on being Hokage?"

"If I am right, and I have no doubts, you can tire yourself of being Hokage."

"And it is a tiring job," Tsunade agreed from the sidelines.

"As far as I'm conserved if you wish you can be both at once when you recover enough. I just want the others to know you are born and well for now."

Naruto sighed, and looked at Tsunade.

The young-looking old lady shrugged.

"How much will we be away?" he asked.

"One week at least, but we can stay as long as you like," Enoch answered with a big smile.

"I'll classify this as an escort mission of a foreign diplomat, I think…" said Tsunade, drinking another gulp.

"Are… are you guys serious?" Sakura asked, stupefied.

"Kurama feels no malice from him," Naruto shrugged. "His intentions aren't bad."

Sakura looked at Kakashi's eyes, and both sighed. I had to be Naruto…

IIIII

"So, I guess you can fly while in this… Six Paths Sage Mode?" Enoch asked, trying to figure out which of the rumors are true already.

"Yeah… only did it once though. Never crossed my mind to use it much. …can I still do it?" he pondered.

"No reason for you to have lost the skill. I mean, it is something of yours, not just the arm healing seal you lost," Enoch nodded. "Well, do you mind if we fly then? We will have to cross an ocean, and I don't think you'll be comfortable much on my back. And we can train it a bit on the way."

"Wait, how do you know about that?"

"I asked around," Enoch shrugged. "A young man was telling me about how it was a shame you lost the 'youthful' arm seal that saved his sensei's life."

Naruto couldn't help but let out a laugh, before trying to enter Six Paths Sage Mode. Classic Lee.

He closed his eyes and concentrated, and when he opened them they were golden. Golden energy was also covering his body, and his whiskers were now dark black lines. Black lines and symbols also covered his energy clothes.

Enoch nodded, before releasing his wings. Twelve wings of pure white feathers apparently made of light itself extended from between his shoulderblades.

"By the way, what is your religion?" Enoch asked while they rose, not bothering to flap his wings. "I know it isn't from the one your predecessor rules over, since you didn't recognize my name. It seems like a mix od Shinto and Buddhism?"

"It is called Ninshuu," Naruto said. "I'm not the most religious of people, though."

"Understandable."

They flew for a couple hours, passing through a passage in the Dimensional Void, but as Naruto wasn't used to flying yet they eventually had to stop to rest.

At Japan.

In Kuoh.

To Naruto this meant nothing. To Enoch this meant danger, and if he did not know he'd ask what his Father was sending him there for.

Then Naruto tensed… and started running towards a park nearby.

Surprised, Enoch followed him…

The scene he saw was… bizarre.

A devil, apparently a newly-converted one, was trying to save a nun from a Fallen Angel.

Luckily he was able to catch Naruto and cover his mouth before he did something stupid.

"We can't let them see us!" Enough whispered with urgency on his ear.

"She is kidnapping that girl," Naruto whispered back. "I can sense malice from the one with black wings, and the blond one is scared and sad. I got to help her!"

And then… something Enoch never thought would happen, the reincarnation of his father hit him to make him let go.

He was so surprised, he lost sight of him.

If he had asked anyone in Konoha, he would know that was a terrible idea…

IIIII

Raynare didn't care for anything anymore.

She had fallen. She didn't even remember why.

That meant that the thing that gave her the most happiness in life was taken, and no other Fallen had ever gone back. She doubted she'd be the first either.

So, like all other Fallen, she indulged in vices. An attempt of filling the emptiness.

And right now, she was preparing a ritual to kill a pure soul and steal her Sacred Gear to become stronger. To try and get Azazel's love. In an attempt to fill His love that she lost.

She looked to the other three, the three she had no idea why they were helping her. Dohnaseek liked to fight. So he was probably there hoping for trouble. But Kalawarner and Mittelt…

She did not care for the stray exorcists. They were more hired help. Specially Freed Sellzen.

Being lost in though would be her excuse for her surprise. But if she was honest with herself, somehow the blond boy wearing orange was unnoticeable until he dropped behind Sellzen and knocked him to the wall repeatedly until he passed out.

His features were Japanese, but as mentioned his hair was a clearly natural blond and his eyes were blue like a clear sky.

Before anyone else could make sense of what was going on, though, the boy exploded and became an army.

The next time Raynare could make sense of things, she was pinned to the ground by one of the blonds, as well as everyone else but the girl chained into the cross-shaped machine.

Then she saw out of the corner of her eye a sphere of pure energy cut the chains as if they were nothing.

"What… who are you?" the nun asked, confused at what just happened.

"My name is Uzumaki Naruto," the boy finally said something. "I noticed you were in trouble so I came to save you."

"Why?" she asked in confusion. Raynare agreed with her, did he just come and help someone because he felt like it?

The boy, Naruto, thought about it for a second. "Why not?"

Tears of frustration entered Raynare's eyes, as she just couldn't budge the copy of Naruto holding her down. "What, so you really want us to believe you just helped 'out of the good in your heart'?"

"Pretty much," the boy shrugged. "I once made a promise never to carry any regrets on why I do something. I'll go against my superiors if it is what I think is right, and I definitely won't turn my back on someone who I believe I can help."

"Pretty words. How do they measure to reality?"

Naruto shrugged. "I'm not perfect, but I do my best and that's all I can ask myself for."

Was this guy even real? He was answering it all so matter-of-factly, as if it was obvious. He felt human, but his attitude was like those goody-two-shoes that still had her Father's love.

Then, to the surprise of everyone, especially the blond, Dohnaseek created a light spear and hit the copy holding him with it… and it burst in smoke.

Her fellow Fallen took advantage of it and went straight for the one who was talking—

Ok, never mind the goody-two-shoes comment. The blond gave him a punch to the gut strong enough to make him vomit and then made him hit his head on the ground to pass out right on top of it.

Raynare's mouth opened, but there was no sound coming out. After all, what could surprise her more?

Her answer was Metatron entering their stronghold in full regalia, a silver mask covering his face and his robes flowing around his body.

Uzumaki Naruto.

His voice echoed, and Raynare whimpered. Ok, Metatron, the Metatron, was there and seemed furious.

At the guy she just called a goody-two-shoes right before he defeated Dohnaseek with two merciless strikes.

You punched me in the gut.

"You were in my way," the human replied. Matter-of-factly.

Could he not feel the power filling the air at every word the Voice of God spoke?

…wait, he punched Metatron in the gut?

It was a battle between a Devil and a Fallen Angel.

"Yeah well, there was a girl between them that needed help," the blond said, pointing to Asia.

…wait… wait…

Oh crap, Metatron was right there when she took the nun from Issei!

Both the Devil faction and the Fallen Angel faction are our enemies.

If they find out how important you are, you will be in grave danger.

"Well, you didn't tell me that."

Raynare then saw something she never expected. Metatron, huffing in annoyance.

Would it have changed anything?

"Of course! I would have been more stealthy and taken then away from the shadows instead of jumping in the middle of them and being recognized. I'm a ninja, you know?"

"You wear orange," Mittelt said.

"And yet I was able to surprise all of you," he shot back, and she younger Fallen had no reply.

"E-excuse me…" said a meek voice, and everyone turned to the rescued girl. "I am very sorry, Lord Metatron, for causing trouble between you and the one you were trying to protect."

Fear not, child. I should have expected his actions.

"Please don't punish him for trying to save someone who was excommunicated, he did not know," she continued.

I doubt it would have made any difference in his actions.

He is known as a selfless person nowadays—yes, Naruto-sama?

"What does 'excommunicated' mean?"

"It means she did something so terrible the church judged her unworthy of going to Heaven," replied Raynare.

"I… I used the power given to me by the Lord to heal someone… but then we found out that person was a Devil, and as punishment I was cast out by the church…"

Naruto looked at her and blinked. Once. Twice. Then a slow one.

He then turned to Metatron.

Before you want to punch me in the face—

"Too late," the now-identified Naruto replied, cracking his knuckles.

Seriously. Who was that guy?

I have nothing to do with this. It is not my department!

I was looking around for you, remember?

"…Ok," the blond sighed. "But warn whoever is responsible that I do not like this."

Neither do I.

One of the teachings attributed to Christianity is to do good without paying mind to whom.

Whoever punished her did so not for going against this, but for embracing it.

This will not do.

Naruto nodded, serious.

And that's when a bunch of people entered the room.

"Issei-san," Asia said, and only now Naruto noticed an accent… and that she wasn't speaking his language earlier.

Uh. So he could understand other languages. Neat.

"Asia, are you alright?" a brown-haired boy around their age yelled, worry clear in his voice. "We came to save you."

"I-Issei-san came for me?"

Naruto smiled at her, giving her a small pat on her back as he moved away from her and towards the three conscious prisoners.

"Now, what to do with you three…" he mused, looking in their eyes. "Oh, and sleeping beauty right there," he pointed to Dohnaseek over his shoulder.

Raynare looked around… and the four Fallen were the only ones remaining. Even Freed had escaped, despite being the first one knocked out.

"The others were clearly just following orders," Naruto explained. "…Save for the creepy guy, he actually escaped while I was distracted. Something you four won't do."

"Why?" was all she could ask.

"I'm new at this whole detecting malice business, ok?" Naruto huffed, as if offended. "So I didn't notice he was awake until it was too late.

Now, I want you three to swear to me you and the other guy will not go after that girl again."

"What," Kalawarner said. "You will let us go, just like that?"

"Sure," Naruto shrugged. "I mean, I'll stop you guys again if you ever try to do something evil near me again, but as long as you learned your lesson and don't try to repeat this just because you think my back is turned…"

The three felt it then. Killing Intent so intense they felt like they had already died many times on his attention alone.

"What is going on here?" said yet another voice, clearly irritated.

The voice belonged to a redhead, her hair a bit deeper red than Naruto's mom. Following her was a girl with black hair in a ponytail.

Now that he was looking at that direction, Naruto noticed the guy who the recued girl called Issei, and that called her Asia, had been followed by a blond dude wielding a sword and a petite white haired girl that looked at him like she saw a ghost.

Something easy to notice when the swordman and the two that just arrived were looking at Metatron instead.

"T-t-this," the redhead started, before swallowing her nervousness and trying again. "This town was agreed by all three factions to be a joint territory between the Gremory and Sitri clans. Explain your presence!"

Others would think her trembling legs would lower the effect of her words, but Naruto was impressed she was well enough to keep standing with that nervousness.

Metatron did not comment about that.

I am aware.

I was guiding an important charge, when we had to take a quick stop in your town.

That was when my charge witnessed someone being attacked by my Fallen brethren.

He impulsively escaped my guard and came to rescue her.

"And I'd do it as many times as needed," Naruto crossed his arms, looking away from Metatron's stare.

I am aware.

Reincarnation clearly didn't help with your stubbornness.

That drew everyone's attention. So that guy was the reincarnation of someone important for the forces of Heaven…

"Buchou, he saved Asia! …But he is also letting Yuuma go. I am so confused if I should insult him or not." Issei finally said.

"My real name is Raynare," she replied on instinct, forgetting for a second she was being held by someone who defeated their most experienced fighter with two hits.

"Eh, what's the problem with letting her go? I mean, sure she wanted to do something bad, but I stopped her and I think I already punished them enough to put the fear of ever facing me again on them."

"But… she killed me!" Issei whined.

Naruto just stared a him.

"...I got better, thanks to Buchou."

High-level devils can resurrect the recently deceased as their servants.

"Well… I can understand you dislike her but if you got better you don't need to hold that much of a grudge anymore."

Don't hold everyone to your forgiveness standards.

"I reject his forgiveness anyway," Raynare said, anger pouring through her words. "He doesn't deserve an apology from me."

"Ok… What did he do?" Naruto asked, confused by all the vitriol.

"He was born," she replied.

"So are you," Naruto pointed out.

Raynare rolled her eyes. "I was born an Angel. I was created to be the example of all that is good in the world, and to serve both Father and the humans. Yet one slip and I was cast away by him forever.

Yet he… he, a pervert, despicable, is blessed with his love. With a Sacred Gear, a special gift from Father. He is blessed by my Father while I, who don't even remember what I did wrong, so small it must have been, am cast away from his love forever!"

Naruto's eyes widened. There was anger in his eyes, but it was not directed at her… what?

He turned to Metatron of all people, and to her surprise said one word filled with command to the Voice of God:

"Explain."

Metatron shook his head.

She is wrong.

That is not what being a Fallen Angel means.

"The fuck do you mean?" she could hear a voice ask in clear hurt and anger, and it surprised her to notice it was her own. "I felt it! I felt him leaving me behind!"

Being a Fallen Angel is a punishment, but it was never meant to be eternal.

From the first time an Angel was cast away, Father explained how they could be brought back.

I can only assume the older ones never told the younger generations, since they rejected his offer due to pride. Maybe… they even forgot themselves.

All he asked for was for you to repent. A sincere apology, motivated not from desired to be forgiven but from true regret of your actions.

"Are you saying… that the things we do to fill the void are… are just standing in our way from going back? That all we had to do was see that we did something bad and apologize?"

Yes.

Raynare… laughed. And cried. Her laughter was hysterical and filled with self-anger.

The other two Fallen Angels were crying as well, but they were not as vocal. Raynare was their leader despite everything, and thus the responsibility, the guilt, the punishment for everything was mostly on her.

Even Issei said that he couldn't even hate her anymore in those conditions.

But the one that asked the next question, something that made everyone pause, was not one of the Fallen or Naruto, but the black-haired devil girl.

"You say all Fallen need to do is be repentant of their actions, but what about the ones born Fallen? What about those that did nothing wrong but be born?"

Metatron looked at her.

For the same reason humans need to be baptized.

Different circumstances, same reasoning.

The devil opened her mouth in surprise. "Are you saying that if someone born Fallen is baptized, they'd become a normal Angel?

Yes. …in theory. No one ever tried.

Unfortunately, I do not know if this path is still available for the ones that have been turned into Devils.

He black haired Devil scrunched her face, but said nothing more.

Naruto couldn't stand that scene anymore. The clones released the three Fallen, and he approached their leader.

"Hey, it's not so bad, you know? Now you know what you did wrong, so now you can work on fixing it!"

"Fixing it, he says," Raynare snorted, before flinching. "I don't even remember what I did wrong anymore."

"Does it matter? Doesn't it just matter if you regret it?"

"It's not that simple!"

"No, it is not," Naruto agreed. "But it is not that much complicated like you think either. You are just overthinking it."

He sighed. How to explain what he meant… ah!

"I have a friend… but we did not start as friends. In fact, when we first met he was an insane psycho, who would kill people for minor annoyances. But that's because he thought it was the only way he could live, killing people to reassure his existence… just like you guys do evil things to feel better.

It was when I defeated him, that I showed him that being powerful and killing to prove it wasn't everything, that he woke up to reality. He ended up becoming one of the most respected people in our lands, and the younger and most respected leader of his country.

You guys just went through the same thing. You just had proven to you that the evil things you were doing were not the best way to live. Now you need to do like Gaara did, turn around and do your best to live a good life."

"Do… do you really think it will work?" Mittelt asked.

"I'm sure. If you do your best to be good, what more can he ask of you?"

Metatron just looked. It seemed that Naruto had forgotten he was the Father they were talking about now… but it's not like that is a bad thing.

But all good things must end, and he was sure they did good there.

Naruto-sama, we must be going.

"Yeah, sure. Asia, let's get your luggage. Hope you don't get airsick."

Metatron's head jerked, the only way the people there could see he was surprised under his helmet.

But… she can't come!

"And why not?" Naruto asked, crossing his arms. "From what I got, she was in danger because she was punished by your people for helping someone with no bad intentions. I refuse to go if I can't get her there to get reparations."

But you can just do it for her!

"Oh no, I'm not taking responsibility for this! Then you guys will distract me and I'll end up forgetting!"

What—what do you think we are?

"Somewhere with paperwork. That's how those bastards work, making you forget everything but them."

…

You know, that does explain a lot.

"Doesn't it?" Naruto nodded. "Which is why either we take her with me, or I stay here with her until you bring the person responsible."

"What? No, there is no need—" Asia started, but Metatron interrupted, as if not even noticing her.

Very well. I… agree that this situation is disgraceful.

It will take some time for me to convince him to come, though. I made no one aware of you.

I was hoping it would be a welcomed surprise. But without you there it'll be harder.

Naruto nodded.

"There is no need for you to do that for me," Asia tried again.

Naruto promptly flicked her on the forehead, getting a pained "ouch" from the girl.

"There was also no need for you to heal anyone just because you can. But you did for them. Let me do this for you too."

"But… you don't even know me."

Naruto just shrugged. "And am I supposed to only help those I know?"

While they had that talk, Metatron was looking around the church. Something that confused everyone.

He came back nodding to himself, and gave Naruto a wallet.

You should be able to live here comfortably for some time.

But just in case, this should help.

"Are you sure?" Naruto asked, a bit afraid. "I mean, I'm not of whatever religion this temple is for, wouldn't they be angry if I stayed here?"

Metatron chuckled.

Do not worry. I may not look like it, but I am a high-ranking member of my religion.

Also, this religion's temples are called churches.

Everyone else was confused. So… the guy didn't know what a church was? But was somehow important to The Church? But was also angry at them?

Also, churches are shelters for those in need, no matter who as long as their intentions are pure.

Which means no one has the right to complain.

Naruto nodded.

He then looked around.

"Well, if we'll stay here for a bit, I better clean up the place." He then crossed his fingers, and the area he was in was covered in smoke.

The smoke disappeared in thin air, showing over a dozen copies of the blond.

"Ok, first step is checking everything. Look for materials, tools and the works. We'll only start the work after checking what we have and buying what we may need!

Think of this as a D-Rank, guys!"

The copies jumped away at high speeds, so fast even the blond devil, used to moving at high speeds, just saw blurs.

Metatron opened his wings, drawing everyone's attention. His wings opened wide, and an aura of holiness covered him. It was clear his next words were going to be important.

Ninjas are awesome.

"That we are," Naruto nodded sagely in agreement.

Everyone else blinked in confusion.

Save for Rias, whose eyes were filled with stars when she understood what they just said.

Rias Gremory. As you can see, someone very important for the Heaven Faction has chosen to reside in your territory for now.

She nodded, while she wasn't happy about the fact (…mostly. An actual ninja!), he seemed to only have the best intentions.

You are warned. While I understand his motives, I still fear for his safety.

In other words, if anything bad happens to him due to your faction's actions, I am having you directly responsible.

That means that if your or the Sitri's siblings do anything to harm him, be they warned that it will be not only on their heads, but on yours too.

And I am aware they favor your heads over their own.

Rias frowned, clearly offended. "Are you… threatening me into protecting your guest?"

I made no threats, Gremory. I thought I said the words "be they warned" properly.

That means it is no idle threat but an assured warning.

He then flared his holy power. A power that clearly dwarfed the power of all supernatural beings present…

…until Metatron was hit on the head by the very being he was protecting.

"Stop being such a mother-hen," Naruto complained, rolling his eyes. "Aren't you a trained diplomat? Act like it!"

And thus the present were witnesses of the rare sight of Metatron huffing in indignation but doing nothing.

Who was that guy?

Anyways!

Do not bother trying to recruit him into becoming your servant, devil.

I am not even afraid of you trying.

"Oh? So certain of his purity not being tainteable?" Rias teased. She couldn't deny that the guy was interesting, but she wouldn't think he could be converted… but the dismissal from the angel worked less like a warning and more like a challenge.

Oh no, far from it.

He'd be tempted for enough bowls of ramen.

"I'd like to complain, but I really would," Naruto agreed.

No, the reason I say that is because I know how your Evil Pieces system works.

How the pieces are limited in power, even if they are mutations.

In other words, I am not afraid of him being converted into a Devil for one simple reason…

He approached the Gremory, her fearful face being reflected in his helmet.

You do not have enough badges to tame him.

That said, Metatron shone extra-light, like a slow flashbang, and disappeared in the middle of the light.

"…did that angel just make a Pokémon reference?" Issei asked, fearful.

The white-haired petite girl that arrived with him just looks at him, as if asking "this is what you took from the conversation?"

The blond boy had a comment of his own. "You and Metatron both… are not what I expected of members of the church."

"Well, I'm not, as much as Metatron is trying to recruit me," Naruto said awkwardly. "My religion is Ninshuu, it has a small mix of Shinto, Buddhism and smaller influences from others."

IIIII

Naruto woke up in a nice bed.

Not exactly a great bed, but not terrible either. It was the old bed reserved for the priest, that the other four insisted in him taking.

He resisted the urge to groan. He was able to keep the conversation at just Enoch arriving at his village and telling their leader that he was the reincarnation of someone important to Heaven and them agreeing on him visiting. He didn't go in details, making them think Enoch didn't go in details.

That was enough for the nun-that-did-nothing-wrong and the three angels-that-wish-to-repent (maybe four depending on the fourth Fallen's mood and if he listened to them) to treat him as their superior though.

Anyway, better get up. Thanks to Enoch, he had to be under the devil leader's eyes while in town, and that meant going to their… school. This is going to be so boring…

He made some clones to make breakfast for everyone and was on his way to the outside of the church, do some training early in the morning, when, lo and behold, the fourth Fallen was there.

"The others told me what you and… Lord Metatron in person… told them," he said, not looking at Naruto. "I'd like to thank you. They are good girls deep down, even if Raynare was a bit twisted in her despair."

"I know, I saw it," Naruto replied, starting some stretches. "But… you don't sound like you are grateful about the news yourself."

The Fallen nodded. "My name is Dohnaseek. I was born in the rank of the soldiers of Heaven during the war. I fought in the war. The war ended… but I enjoyed fighting too much. I still do.

I fell because my lust for battle is too big. I can control it, of course, but if the opportunity arrives I'll definitely do it.

And I have no desire to repent for that."

Naruto nodded. "You reminded me of someone I met when I was young."

"You are still young. You are what, sixteen?"

"Seventeen and a war old. The war ended on my last birthday."

"Soldier or survivor?"

"Soldier. I joined the fight in the middle, but stayed there until the last blow."

"Oh. My bad then."

Naruto waved him away. That's the thing about war, those that lived one can split their lives in before and after. As much as he was still the same idiot, nothing would change those that he failed to save weighting in his memory.

"Anyways, Zabuza. I was training to be a shinobi at the time, not sure if you know the word."

"Shinobi and ninja are culturaly known through the world," Dohnaseek said. "I assume he was a good one?"

"He was known for his ruthlessness and like for killing. And he was definitively bloodthirsty, and cruel. The thing is… he was fighting to get money to finance a coup on a tyrant. He had an apprentice that he saw as his own son.

He was considered one of the evilest people around, and he definitely acted and probably was the part… but he was using that to help others in his own way.

I know it is hard to believe right now, but maybe you can do the same. Your battlelust is a part of you now, but maybe you can focus it to do good."

"Maybe…"

Not expecting any more of an answer, Naruto left.

Or made to, before Dohnaseek's voice sounded once more.

"Metatron can't lie."

Naruto stopped.

"I remember this from even before Father died. He is His voice, and thus he is supposed to be truthful. That means he can not say the truth, he can be cryptic as anything, but he can't lie. It is literally impossible for him to tell a lie, even if he believes it to be truth."

Naruto said nothing.

"The others don't remember, being so young. Maybe they don't even know. But I saw it. I saw His state during the War, how weakened he was yet he was still a stubborn bastard and fought alongside us. I saw his last moments myself.

I don't need him to tell us who you are. Who you are the reincarnation of. I just needed… to talk with you for myself."

Naruto stayed still.

"I know it is hard to believe. You probably still don't and think Metatron is wrong, that I am projecting on you. But… but I believe in you, even if you don't believe in yourself.

Thank you."

And with that Dohnaseek left, leaving behind a Naruto with closed eyes.

After talking to those four Fallen, he really wished he was the one they were waiting for… if only so he could help them properly…

…

And then a clone exploded while doing research, and Naruto found out about Pastafarianism.

Naruto smiled.

Metatron, having no idea why, wept.

Dohnaseek, having known his Father yet having no direct work under Him, had a sudden urge to buy popcorn.

The ex-but-not-really nun and the three Fallen girls were wondering why they were having ramen for breakfast, so they were distracted.

IIIII

"What are you doing here?"

Everyone looking at the scene was confused, save for the two making it.

For everyone's surprise, Hyoudou Issei was angry at an attractive girl.

Raynare visibly flinched. Oh right, she had been a bitch to him and to Asia. "I'm… going to study here?"

And yes, she was clearly a new transfer student, wearing the school uniform yet no one in the school but those in the known would recognize her.

"And me too!" Said Mittelt to the side.

"We are trying to apply to work here," said Kalawarner, wearing a business suit with a skirt while Dohnaseek wore clearly exercise clothes and a whistle.

"Issei-san, I know that Raynare-san did some bad things… to both of us… but she is trying to turn a new leaf. Please at least give her a chance."

Issei took a deep breath, but eventually calmed down. "Alright Asia, I'll give her another chance… for you." But then, turning to the black-haired girl, his look was clearly not of someone who forgave her. "Do not make me regret this."

Raynare just nodded.

The group kept going inside the school… and only then Issei noticed the blond guy, it was Naruto, right? that had helped him save Asia… by doing all the work before he arrived there…

"The Pasta that lives in me salutes the Pasta that lives in you. R'amen."

Issei looked in confusion at the blond's retreating back.

He was far from the only one.

IIIII

Naruto never met Sona Shitori, but knew about her. And he already fell in love with one thing about her even before they met.

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN 'SOMEONE FILLED THE POOL WITH RAMEN NOODLES IN THE NAME OF THE FLYING SPAGETTI MONSTER'?"

She apparently had a beautiful screaming-in-angry-disbelief voice.

Link: https://m.fanfiction.net/s/12975368/1/