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Experimental Log of the Crazy Lich

This is the story of a crazy lich who possesses an internal game system and brings catastrophe to the entire world. “Let’s look at the daily quests today… it’s the damned choose one-of-two-options-type again. Destroy a town with a population of 30,000 people or above; reward: 10,000 evil points. Steal lollipops from 3 children; reward: 1 evil point. If neither of the quests is completed, then 2 points will be deducted.” “Tsk! You think I’m stupid? If I really destroyed a town, a crusade of Myth-ranked Holy Knights would definitely come hunting me down. Even if I earned the points, there wouldn’t be any life left in me to spend them. I better just go be a kindly lollipop bandit.” I’ve already had enough of being a notorious lich. Who says a lich can’t be a good person? I’m definitely going to beat this damned system and be an upright and dignified good man.

Angry Squirrel · 奇幻
分數不夠
841 Chs

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"Ka! Dang.Dang.Dang…"

The Big Ben in Sulfur Mountain City echoed through the sky, signaling that it was noon and time for lunch. As the reassembly magic was triggered, after a bout of dizziness, I returned back to my home where my body had been waiting for me.

When my head found itself on its usual place, the first thing I did was to check my body.

"1, 2, 3… 24. That's weird, did the rascal change gender? To think that there isn't a single rib bone missing."

When I was surprised over the fact that there wasn't a single rib bone missing and was about to begin checking if any of my toe bones were gone, a voice filled with unhappiness1 could be heard from my back.

"Uncle Bones, I have already grown up. I will no longer touch these parts on a man's body."

There was nothing particularly wrong with the sentence but why did I feel so awkward hearing it. Turning around, I looked at a red-haired teenage girl staring at me. Just as what I saw in a glance before, that young snotty brat had finally become a fine young lady now.

Due to the unique training methods of those with the blood of the Fire Phoenix, she possessed similar traits as Adam. Long fire-red hair that swayed with the wind, slender long thighs that were straight as a compass2, the originally circular face that was filled with baby fat had transformed into a sharp oval face. The only thing that remained unchanged was the innocence in her eyes and the mole under her red eye that added to her femininity.

"Hey, humans really grow up very fast. Just yesterday, you were still a rascal shouting 'kuma' 'kuma' but now, you have transformed into a fine young lady."

As my head turned around with a kaka cracking sound, Annie's face, at the start, was still solemn, then a look of surprise took over, before she burst into laughter.

"Crap, my image." Without a trace of emotion on my face, I tore away the note on my head. Then, I silently took the cloth Elisa was passing over and wiped away the turtle on my skullcap.

Why? You can't comprehend what was going on? While waiting for the reassembly magic to trigger, I have played 8 rounds of mahjong with Little Red and accidentally lost 2 of those rounds… Hmph, I wasn't the overall loser. Little Red had it worse than me. Her entire body was filled with scribbles and now she wouldn't even need to apply makeup to pass off as a black dragon to go conduct robbery.

As for the reason why we didn't use gold coins or our finances to bet on but instead chose to just paste notes and draw turtles, it was because we were both magic experts and there wasn't any bottom limit to our chastity. If we really put up something attractive as a bet, then this game which was used as a pastime activity would ultimately become a game of cheating or… What was that? Supernatural Mahjong Shoujo3?

Alright, seems I accidentally arrowed 4something. Let's just make it Genius Magic Mahjong Teenager then.

"Sigh, why is it so hard to just play a game of normal Mahjong nowadays?"

Annie giggled behind her hand. I was aware that my face must have looked terrible. After all, it was rare to see a Lich with a turtle drawn on his head. Those Dracons who were called in to play with us also looked at us with the same surprised look…

"Is it very weird? Are the 'evil Lich' and the 'destructive Red Dragon' not allowed sit down together to play Mahjong as a pastime?"

"No, that's not it." The red-haired young lady shook her head.

"Now that I have spent some time travelling out there, the world had changed. After coming back, those people whom I was close to, have become weird. They are constantly trying to get Annie to do this and that. Their gestures are weird but they refuse to simply say what they want and always talk around it. Looking at those fake smiles, Annie feels so stressed out these days. But now, seeing that Auntie Little Red and Uncle Bones are still the same, I feel so relieved."

Annie smiled. A smile that came along with indescribable yearning and satisfaction. It looked like this training tour this time had allowed this little princess of Sulfur Mountain City to mature quite a bit.

"Pah!" Yet, I broke the mood and knocked on the other party's head with my bones.

"Just how old are you? Don't speak like an elderly. Lamenting about life and remembering the past should be left to the old. Even I am still young. Also, I am fine with you calling me Uncle, but calling Little Red…"

"Annie knows, when I see Auntie Little Red, I shall call her Sister Little Red. Otherwise, when everyone is gone, Auntie Little Red is going to hide in the rock walls and sob secretly. Her cries were super loud, we could even hear it clearly from the bottom of the mountain. She doesn't even realize that, how embarrassing."

"Un, that's right, those over-age unmarried young ladies are extremely sensitive. We should pity them, sympathize with them and love them. If you see Margaret, how should you call her?"

"Sister Margaret! Annie knows."

"Right, remember to call her that in front of Adam." I reminded her, while snickering.

Annie was Adam's disciple and at the same time, his goddaughter. Despite knowing this, Margaret gave Annie her own surname, Layde, which indubitably expressed a certain wish of hers. But, not to mention calling her mother, Annie had always been calling her sister, which resulted in Adam suddenly becoming a generation more senior than Margaret, causing her great distress.

Of course, making her more distressed was also part of my duty.

"Remember, you must frequently praise Margaret for being young and beautiful and that an uncle like Adam isn't worthy of her." The prerequisite for a child not being loose with their words was the absence of anyone around her to teach them…

"Lord, Teacher Margaret has left a message. If you continue to teach Annie this unnecessary stuff, she will put in her weight as the Head of Internal Affairs to deduct the funds you claim to be 'work allowance', which you used to purchase those limited edition 'classic books'."

I almost forget that I had Margaret's spy just by my side. I had always thought it was weird how a saint and a half-demon managed to get along so well but my head maid Elisa was indeed Margaret's disciple in name.

Short hair, gold-rimmed glasses, expressionless and a venomous tongue, these all used to be the unique traits of Margaret, which she successfully had passed down. Even her action of intentionally standing on high ground and giving me a look of despise with icy-cold eyes while her right hand supported her gold-rimmed glasses was so similar to her teacher. I couldn't help but sigh.

"Can you NOT imitate Margaret so much? Recently you are becoming more and more alike with that old spinster. Be careful, you may end up sharing her inability to get married too."

"To be able to become similar with teacher should be my honor. Also, I will pass along your evaluation of teacher to her, just wait for your funds to get cut."

"Then, I shall first cut the operation expenses of your 'Observer' so that you can experience the taste of being chased for wages by the spies under you."

"Feel free, then I will be forced to steal from the living quarters household expenses. You have always wanted to try experiencing a lifestyle where water supply and gas supply suddenly stop, haven't you? I am sure you will be happy to experience how it is when all the candles suddenly go off deep in the night? To feel how it is when the toilet bowl suddenly explodes…"

"Hey hey hey, this isn't related to the funds anymore. You are already plotting a murder to steal my fortunes. You evil maid!"

"You black-hearted boss, who owes your workers their wages…"

"Pu!" Seeing the both of us bicker, the excited Annie laughed out.

"Sister Elisa is still the same as ever, I'm glad. The relationship between Sister Elisa and Uncle Bones is so close that it really makes one jealous."

"Our relationship isn't close!" This time, Elisa and I, in a rarely seen coincidence, happened to shout out the same words at the same time.

---------------------

Annie played for a bit in my old quarters before leaving for home. As the future City Lord who just finished her adventure outside, there was a lot of things that she still needed to learn.

Sitting by the window, I looked at how the former boisterous rascal, who had been jumping about before, had changed into a fine lady walking elegantly. A wave of sentimentality overcame me. "She really changed a lot..."

Indeed, humans were creatures with a high tendency to change. Annie's changes upon growing up were huge, way beyond my expectations.

"Annie Layde Race: Human

Job: LV60Warrior/LV18Sword Saint

Total: LV78, Fighting power evaluation: Gold-pinnacle, Quasi-Legend5"

Yes, what I meant wasn't personality or figure, but her basic power.

The current Annie, was powerful enough, that unless I would resort to my aces, she could be able to me.

Iron Bloodline, Copper Body, Silver Dignity, for a normal human, every stage was a tough hurdle they would spend their entire life trying to bypass. If a person reached LV60, also referred to as Silver-pinnacle, when they wanted to take a step forward, they had to undergo a job advancement. This was the boundary between mortals and heroes.

Should they succeed, then they receive a higher-tier job and enter the stage of Golden Will, and are henceforth called 'Expert'. In the eyes of most people in the world, their impressions of gold-rank experts were all a bunch of elderly.

Annie was only seventeen years old and just reaching silver-rank at this age would already evaluate her as a rare genius by the view of the world. As for Gold-pinnacle… Elisa herself was also at the pinnacle of gold and even under the tutelage of two SemiGod Mages, me and Margaret, it still took her about a hundred years to achieve it…

The reason for it to be named Golden Will was because gold-rank experts were able to use their wills to twist the reality of the world, something beyond the means of mortals.

When I was still hailed as the 'Child of Light', I had reached gold-rank when I was merely 14 and this was because I had the augmentation of the Power of the Holy Light as it made crossing the boundary between different ranks easier. Back then, I was still far from reaching the level of Gold-pinnacle and yet, I was praised by the Holy Church as an 1-in-300 years genius.

"Should I be astonished? As expected of the superhero who killed me in the 'original history'. So, if back then I was known as a 1-in-300 years hard-to-come-by genius, then should Annie be called the 1-in-500 years hard-to-come-by genius?"

Somehow, I remember another man that lived on to be known as a genius as well as a hero. That year, the red-haired him stood there with a face full of silliness in front of me.

"Big Brother, your Swordsmanship is incredible. Can you teach me? I'm called Adam and I come from White Stone Village. My goal is to become a Hero and marry Lisa. Afterwards… go back to the village to brag to everyone! Right, I must also become a landowner so that I can be like old Peter living next door, being able to collect rent without working, smoking weed while staring at other people working…"

A hundred years had passed and from a countryside teenager, he managed to accomplish half of his heroic dream. But a pity it was, that the other half was destined to remain unfulfilled forever.

That silly boy from the past, was still silly even now, but just a few days ago, he told me that he had enough of living, that he missed home and hoped to die…

"What a pity, Adam…"

I shook my head. After years of getting along with him, I knew that his determination would not waver. At this moment, I should abandon the excessive emotions in myself and focus my attention on thinking rationally.

Annie's growth was way too fast, to the extent that it was inconceivable.

"Even though there is the help from the elemental tide to consider, which makes going up the ranks easier, but even so, it shouldn't be that fast… No, Adam back then has also been quite outrageous. It might be the special trait of their inheritance. A life-form like the Phoenix grows stronger the closer they are to death. Before they burn themselves to death, they would pass on their power and experience to the next generation, helping them to improve by leaps and bounds… So that is to say, Adam's time end is about to come, huh."

Thinking about it, I should have expected it. That lad... if it wasn't the final straw, he wouldn't come to me seeking help.

Somehow, I remembered the days we spent adventuring 130 years ago. The Adam then was a dumbass, Margaret was still a rookie Mage, Lisa was a natural thief... that couldn't even rival a rookie and Little Red became our lucky charm as well as hidden boss of our party.

Rather than party leader, I felt more like a nanny who was bringing along rookies to earn some experience. My main role was to resolve the mess they always managed to stir up. Every day was tiring, but at the same time, it had been fun.

"Then, I will hasten my footsteps. Hopefully I can revive earlier. Getting called 'big brother' from the mouth of that dumbass a final time, I hope I can get back my original looks to send off, that silly guy."

Reedited by Devils_Advocate and his Team, the "Pranav Memorial Foundation"

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