Chapter 38: Ego?

I found the hangar easily enough, but I was getting tired. More or less, I was getting peopled out. First the dinner, then the whole thing with my master, and now this? I was getting that familiar sensation of wanting to punch something. If only I could literally punch my way through conversations. Or emotional development… Could I develop by getting my ass kicked? Didn't I already get some when master beat me?

No… wasn't that just shounen bullshit? Hah…

I should look into that more, but for now I had to talk… Specifically to helmsman while he complained, loudly with the owner of the port. I didn't catch what they were saying, or rather I tuned it out. It took him a good minute or two to catch my presence even as I stood behind him… I was a little shorter than him, something I only noted now. I was always on some platform or a step or something that made him seem smaller, but I knew I could crush him with ease, hardly an issue. Still, the urge to fly a bit to equalize our height was there.

I didn't have to wait long before the port owner said something to my helmsman and huffed off. Helmsman turned and froze as he saw me. "Ah, cap. Is everything okay? We aren't suddenly being expelled or something?"

Ah, the lacking faith. "I got us a job." I then explain it and everything leading up to it. "You met THE Pirate Baron!?" He seemed stuck on that point. "You realize he is one of the four Pirate lords! Followed by the Jolly Roger, The Front, and finally Industrio!" These names… not impressive at all. I did like the nod to old school pirating that Jolly Roger had going for them.

"I didn't, I've never even heard of them before today. I just thought he was a weirdo. Anyway, the job, can we, do it?"

"Did he give you the specifics? I told him I'd tell you and you could get it from him…" I don't actually know if I did that. He sighed… A long sigh.

"I'll get the details, but can you, do it? Can we, do it?"

"At worst I can blow it up, but…" I lean in. "Doc says we can take it." My tone low, his eyes widen "Fucking hell…" He swears. "And here I was having trouble looking for a big enough ship…" he trails off. "I'll get the details and get back to you cap." I nodded and made my way out, the sound of him yelling at the port owner again ringing out. The two begin, whatever it is the two are doing. I didn't know what I was going to do.

Going back to my room sounded like the best idea. The idea of taking a nice hot bath and lazing about sounded wonderful. Other, less scrupulous ideas came to mind, but… I couldn't get drunk and didn't find the idea of getting into anything fun or worth my time. This station was just too fragile for my liking. If anything, I wanted a good fight. To beat something down. Unfortunately, that wasn't happening anytime soon.

I made my way back to the ship, meandering about, taking in the sights. Let myself be seen. I could feel the gazes follow me and stop as I stepped on the ship. The familiar smell of the ship was infinitely better than the station air. Something about the recycled stale air really grew on me. Or maybe it made me think of my Attack ball.

I didn't know either way as I went to take my bath.

What followed was as expected. Helmsman hammered out the deal, Armorer got new gear for me to wear and had our ship retrofitted with Doc's help. Our fleet grew in size. Specifically, we got a destroyer, older and fit with missile systems and stuff. I wasn't too sure about the class differences, but helmsman was helpful for that.

Cruisers were more for taking out fighters and other cruisers depending on the armaments. They were fast and annoying. Frigates were a hair slower then destroyers, but were more generalist. They tended to focus on point defense and heavy weapons. For a mix of hitting smaller targets and hitting larger targets if necessary, but they didn't excel in either.

Destroyers did their job. They destroyed. They were equipped with high velocity weapons meant for taking on heavier and bigger ships. More or less acting as a sort of artillery ship with Frigates and cruisers acting as a screen. They had hangars for deployment of Mecha and fighters, but primarily for self-defense.

Above that were capital ships and carriers. Which he didn't go into detail on, and he also got annoyed when I kept referring to them as classes. Apparently, they were types, with classes being the specific armament types, which didn't matter, I mean we were pirates. When I pointed that out well, he did have a small fit. Must be a ship nut. I didn't really want to think hard on it, so I didn't.

Either way, new ship. More crew. The veterans master had me awaken did so with incredible ease, the whole group suddenly spryer and… younger. The change was immediate from word of mouth. The training hall filled with the near constant noise of fighting as they quickly got back to their primes.

Master had to drag his trainees to the training hall kicking and screaming, from what I heard. I also saw it once. The man was clawing on the ground begging him to let him go. Apparently, master was re-training the whole fleet men and women one at a time. There were horror stories about that. I did finally get my fight once they felt comfortable in their skins.

I looked around, looking at all of master's friends. Their ki flaring ominously.

"You ready Rettas? Don't break the ship." He added as a final note, he had also taken to calling me by name, not that I minded. If anything, it made me feel better. "For a fight? Always." He laughed. I felt the air still as they took their stances.

This was a final check before we enacted the mission. A final spar for me to see if they could even survive or be useful for the harebrained scheme that was made. Only the strong could survive, and those who could fly. I caught movement, felt it. My body moving to deflect the blow.

One of my masters' friends wore a full body robe, hiding every inch of skin. The only thing I could see was silver eyes. What lay underneath was a woman, her body covered in scars and wounds. Before I could even strike to counter the green man leapt forward, my foot lashing out. My master taking the second to come out. My tail lashing out like a whip and hit the small green man instead, my foot pivoting to hit master.

They were going easy on me, and there were still more. They began to move faster, not giving me a moment to think. I felt a slight haze, my body moving from the stimulate of their movements. It felt empowering, but strange to trust my body, but in a way. It was like Trusting not just myself, but Rettas. I was Rettas now, but her memories and my own were essentially one. But, thinking she was still here, still with me, watching, made me feel better. Like, I was never truly alone.

It made it easier to lean into it. That feeling, like hitting a streak on an impossible song on that dance game. And as they slowly picked up the tempo, their movements in sync, perfect, like perfectly tuned instruments in an orchestra. Every strike was a different chord. Each movement had me shift and turn. Never truly getting comfortable as they worked. I felt something as I let myself get lost in their song. My own roar drowned in an endless symphony.

I could feel the chains of creation digging into me, the gurgling waters pushing me under as I moved. My muscles burned, my body screaming as I moved and moved. I didn't think, I didn't focus, I just was. The chains, the water. I began to feel numb, lightheaded as I struggled to breathe. I felt my circulation slow as the chains dug deeper and deeper. Still, I held on. I grit my teeth and pulled myself forward.

And with a click, like the sound of a pilot light kicking on. The faint clicks of a lighter trying to light a flame. I felt something change, For a single moment, I felt a difference. No, I felt reality buckle around me. I clenched hands, the chains dragging me. I moved, clawing forward, forcing myself against the river. I didn't know how much I gained or had before my grip slipped.

But in that moment, I felt creation bow before me. That moment was shown to me as I moved, all of the hits missed in that split second. No, I hadn't moved. They had missed, as if I had decreed it. I felt it, the world around me marred with lines. I flicked each of them once with a light tap. And, I felt my grip loosen, and slip. The slowed world caught up with the sound of clicking, punctuated by the sound of fists swinging out missing. Almost immediately after they each launched back with a loud crack. They each held their foreheads, looking at me with astonishment.

"Did… did her hair change color?" One of them asks. Master looked at me confused too as they all muttered, unsure if they saw what they thought they had. "Can she even do that?" Another person asks. "No, rather, did you all feel that? The hell was that?" A round of questions followed as they rubbed their foreheads.

"But why didn't it stick?" Was what the robed one said, they all looked confused. I didn't know either, but the moment I opened my mouth to speak, I felt something. A pain in my very soul. As if someone had stripped away my skin and salted it. I fell over and bit down a scream. Every movement brought a new wave of agony. My whole body was spasming and twitching. The chains of creation dug into me like razors. Asserting their control. Admonishing me for daring to go against them.

I could barely whimper as they took me to the med bay. None of the sensors could find out what happened, but a theory was posited. One I couldn't deny even in the haze. The training was supposed to bring me into a state of true instinct. A place where true masters live. To reach such a place required a mind both soft and hard. Like the center of a hurricane. That place where the calm sea and the raging waves met.

What was supposed to happen is would form a connection with the universe. Essentially, becoming one with the universe. Achieving a level of enlightenment. For some reason however, that isn't what happened. I hadn't connected with the universe. No, it was almost as if it had rejected me. Punished me.

Which confused my master and his friends. On top of that was my apparent hair change, even if for a single blink. Not one of them could claim to know what color it was. They chatted as I calmed down.

"None of this makes sense. What's her race anyway?"

"She's a Saiyan." My master supplied as they discussed what the hell just happened. "The hell is a Saiyan? I had thought she was some weird human simian hybrid. Hell, I even thought she was your daughter at first." My master looked put off by that and slightly embarrassed. "No, she's not my daughter. But… well," he goes into great detail about my race, and they look justifiably confused.

"She can turn into a giant ape?" Was apparently the big stickler.

"Yes… She apparently has another form she calls a Super Saiyan?"

At this point my world stopped spinning, and the pain was more like knives scraping my skin, so I explained. "My hair grows a little, gets all spiky, ah, and I go blonde and blue eyed."

"Well…" the speaker Trails off. "Is that common?"

 "It happens if we can get enough energy." He looks more put off…

"Well, do you have other changes?"

"Yes, I also have Super Saiyan 2 and Super Saiyan 3."

"That's bullshit! The hell does that do!?"

"I get longer hair and stronger." I see disgruntled looks.

"And your whole race can do this?"

"Yes. If they get enough power."

"And how much power is that?"

I think on that… "A lot more than I have. But if you've used the scouters, I think near a million-battle power?" That elicited a few gasps.

"Seriously? That's like… if the battle power statistics right that's about the power of a primeval beast."

"I have a better question." The robed woman speaks. "Are you aware of anything else that would explain your hair changing to a different color? It changed too fast, but I don't think it was gold."

"Probably a new power?"

"You don't know?" I never went past Dragon Ball Z! "Uh, no… I only know about Saiyan 3."

Silence descended as they crossed arms or took various thinking poses. Master cuts in after some time. "Is it possible her transformations are tapping into something we don't know about? What do you think Doc?"

"No idea. The equipment I have isn't nearly enough to make a decision, but it's clear she is suffering from some type of backlash. I would know more with better equipment, and if I could see this change. What sensors were monitoring the fight glitched briefly when the incident happened."

Which meant not much of an answer. "To be honest, despite the soul crushing pain and a deep desire to curl up in a ball… I feel somewhat fine now.

"That is NOT normal!" My master frowns in response to those words spoken from the gallery and looks to Doc. Or rather, the monitor Doc had hijacked for her avatar or whatever.

"Tests are showing she's fine. She just needs some rest, and she should be fine, but I suggest we don't do this again before the mission."

"Really?" Someone replied.

"She's a Saiyan." My master says with a shrug.

"The hell does that mean!?"

"She can recover exceedingly well with just some food and water."

"Is she a plant!? Tell me this isn't true Doc!?" I wasn't sure who was having a conniption. Obviously, Doc concurred on master's words. Driving them further up a wall. I expected him to explode, but he took a deep breath in and out.

"Fine. I'm going to my bunk." The speaker states before he walks off. The whole crowd dispersed slowly. Leaving me alone with Master in the med bay.

"You're sure you're doing fine?" He asks.

 "Definitely, though, it would probably be best not to repeat this training for a bit." At least, not until I figured out what exactly that was. It wasn't a connection with the universe. If anything, it was almost as if… I had become the universe? As if someone's ego could control the universe. That sounds like bullshit…

Hmm… Fitting for cultivation stuff. Don't they have domains and such? Isn't that just forcing your reality onto the world? Could I do that? Not anytime soon, that's for sure. Those chains I envisioned had dug in deep. Before they had been rather lax, but that brief moment where I had broken free had done something. The universe was now watching me. Something told me that I had been given a stern warning, and next time… it wouldn't just be a warning.

Still… should I call it Ego? Let's just see when I can actually use it. When I don't have to fear the universe's retaliation.

He nods. "Understood, I'll leave you to it."

Since that day, my masters' friends looked at me differently. Before they saw my power and thought highly of me, but nothing else. Now it was like they were looking at a monster. I wasn't sure how much my master told them about my prowess, but I imagine they didn't believe it. Or rather thought he had exaggerated.

But either way, time marched on. And soon enough we were presented with our new uniforms for the upcoming mission. Our whole fleet was painted over and remade. Our name was now different according to a group meeting where I found myself slightly outvoted. Slightly.

We were officially the Golden Suns… They insisted on the sun's part.

Our new uniforms I hadn't seen yet, but it was decided only those boarding ships or actively fighting would need to wear them, primarily due to just how embarrassing so many of our crew found them.

A skintight white outfit straight out of a Sentai show, except it was so snug and expandable even an infant could wear them comfortably. On an adult it showed every nook and cranny. Each of us had boots like mine, gloves that reached up the arm made of the same stretchy material. What I didn't plan on was the artistic changes.

Our helmets looked more like motorcycle helmets. "Armorer! What about our design!?" I mean, this design looked… functional, edgy, kind of cool. An off-white silvery helmet with a mirrored visor. A pair of antennae or something was poking out of the ears, something the other helmets didn't have. And the cape was wrong. It expanded my frame and stretched off my shoulders. Hell, the ensemble even had a totally not sports bra chest piece to go over the suit and a skirt of metal that hugged my frame.

"You needed the belt to hold stuff. And the helmet you told me to design was the ugliest piece of shit I ever saw. Not to mention you gave me strange references I never even heard of. Which is why I am going with a classic. Plus, we don't want you looking like an exhibitionist. Hence the armor. Oh, and here."

He hands me a hand cannon, because what else could be so huge. Thing was nearly as large as my head and longer than my forearm.

"So, you don't blow the ship up. It holsters into the side plates of the Fauld."

I hefted it, it was heavy for sure as I waved it around. "Is that why you kept pestering me to learn how to shoot." His blank face was all the answer I needed.

"Well, fine. I will accept this."

It all fit like a glove. Our little group grumbling as they fit on their various helmets. Honestly, I looked like a Sentai villain with their mooks.

I loaded my gun, slid it into the Fauld along my upper thigh. Took my pose. I felt amazing. Fantastic even as my cape swished behind me.

"Attention crew! We are now in position! Boarding party please present yourselves to the Hangar for departure!"

Groans followed as we made our way. This was definitely going to be exciting.