21

I wake up feeling warm energy flooding my body and hot tears trailing down my face. I was sitting up my arms outstretched in front of me, explosions going off uncontrollably, my eyes searching wildly around the room and seeing that I'm back in the hospital room and a mess of dark green hair is in front of my face. I blink several times not sure what was happening, my body tense as I put it all together but relaxed finally when I do. Deku is safe, we are safe. What more could I ask for? 

My tears were still streaming down my face, I was covered in sweat even though I felt exhausted and I could tell I set off more than one explosion while asleep. My breathing was sporadic at best and I was choking up, while I was putting the pieces together. Deku is holding me, he is alive, he is warm to the touch. 

He is alive.

"Don't ever say that again! Don't you ever offer to die again!" Deku screamed and he looked up at me and actually smacked my chest and oh my fucking All Might that hurt. I think he was using his quirk because I think I heard something crack. But I needed it, the pain helped to ground me to reality again. I'm alive, it was all just a dream, a terrible, terrible nightmare but a dream nonetheless. 

'You have to live! Without you what is there? There is nothing to protect! There is nothing to live for!' He was so angry I don't think he has ever felt rage before now. The way his body was shaking uncontrollably as his eyes stayed fixed on mine his amazing green energy filling my vision. His beautiful bright shining eyes were so full of life, the green electricity lighting them up from inside, there were some shadows under his eyes but he looked so much healthier than he has in the past. 

He was healing, we were healing.

'I love you Deku,' I whisper my voice trembling my whole body shaking now. I could hear him answering but I couldn't take it in, not yet. I could still see the knife in his chest, the blood pouring out of his lifeless body while I couldn't do anything but watch. I held him to me not caring if there was anyone else in the room or not. I needed his healthy, living body in my arms. I needed to feel him breathing in my arms, to hear his pulse as I held him. 

His tears flowed down his face unnoticed by him but had long ago captivated me. My voice was rough, it felt like I just spent the last several hours screaming which considering I was sleeping wasn't likely. I reach up and wipe away his tears for him before pressing my ear against his chest. I listened as his heart pounded the fast rhythm of his fear, for what felt like eternity before slowly calming back down. His heartbeat is the only thing keeping me awake, the only thing keeping me sane. 

It wasn't until after his heart rate had slowed to almost normal that his arms loosened from around me, when did that happen? When did we start holding each other crying our eyes out like brats? My own pulse was still thundering in my ears but I could hear his slow powerful one as he let me cling onto him for dear life. 

"Tell me about it. I'm here," Deku's soothing voice filled my ears and somehow it made my heart break more. I told him, I told him every detail about how both him and our hero died in front of my eyes. How I couldn't do anything at all. 

"It was all my fault," I sobbed into his chest, my arms still wrapped around him as he sat in my lap there on the hospital bed. He shushed me, his arms around me as I did, he rubbed slow circles on my back while I listened to his heartbeat. It was the most beautiful sound aside from his voice and I just couldn't let him go. 

Deku tried to soothe me, he really did but I was shaking so hard I think he realized I wasn't hearing half of what he was saying. It took what felt like only moments for me to figure out he wasn't talking but singing. At some point he had started singing an old lullaby and when I was finally able to focus on it he was probably half way through the third stanza. It wasn't anything special just Twinkle Twinkle Little Star, and when he finished singing it in Japanese he switched over to Wonder and sang all five stanzas that way too. His voice was so soft, so clear, that I could feel myself almost melting. He pushed me back on the hospital bed before getting off of my lap and curling up next to me. His eyes trained on mine as he did. 

Everything slowed and when the song was done I was breathing normally again. I nudged myself towards him and he rolled over so that I could put my head on his chest, so that I could listen to his heartbeat play me the song that I needed to hear more than anything else. Deku hummed a tune which only helped me to relax more, and before I knew it sleep was dragging me under again, but I fought it. I just needed a little more time with Deku. Just a little more. 

"It's okay Kacchan, sleep I'll be here when you wake up. I promise," his voice found my ears as I held onto him, his voice, his heart the very way he breathed. I soaked it in, not ready to let sleep take me but feeling it sink it's claws into me anyway. 

"How often does that happen?" I heard Aizawa Sense's voice and flinched, whimpering as I did. Deku just kept rubbing slow circles on my back humming the sweet melody as he did. I quiet down again this time prepared to hear our homeroom teacher's voice. 

"Whenever he sleeps alone. It's the same for me," Deku's calm voice filled the air, my still shaking body slowly following his lead and calming down. 

"How long have you two been having these nightmares?" If I didn't know better I would say that Aizawa actually cared but that was unlikely. 

"Since the sludge attack, before we came to UA." his voice hummed in my ear. I don't even care how he knows that. "Kacchan doesn't know it but before he was attacked I was too.  By the same villain, the way he forced himself into my body gagging me, suffocating me. The only reason he was on the news and mine wasn't was because the villain was trying to hide. And I just happened to be alone, I was always alone back then. I thought I always would be. Kacchan and I were already on bad terms..." I snuggled into my lover not able to stay away even in my half sleep state.

'I love you,' I whisper, pulling him closer to me. He held me close kissing the top of my head as I settled down again. 

"Please go away now. I won't leave Kacchan again. He needs to rest, we both do. If they want more tests they will wait until we are both awake for them," Ah so that's what happened. He must have been gone for a while then, I've been sleeping fine with him next to me. 

"I'll pass that on," Aizawa Sensei sighed and I swear I could hear him standing up. "That was a lot of equipment he destroyed."

"They should have known better considering his quirk. It's their own fault, goodnight Sensei." Deku's voice cut through the air unapologetic and cold. There was nothing but silence after that and it was a long time before I heard a door close, telling me someone either entered or left the room. 

'He's gone Kacchan, we're alone now.' He whispered into my ear. I felt myself melt into his arms. 

'I love you, I'm so sorry. I didn't know. I swear,' he hushed me again. 

'I know. I love you too, more than there are stars in the sky. Now sleep, I'm here.' He whispered, giving me a light kiss on the ear. I love this man and I will marry him. 

Now that I think about it we really should tell our parents our plans. Uncle said they would support us no matter what, so that should include us keeping it too ourselves right?