I'm sitting in my cell, staring at the wall, it's not as if there is much else to do. I'm used to it. Staring into the emptiness, the pain, the desperation… When I'm sleeping I am having nightmares and when I'm awake I am living them. I have lost count of the amount of tests they have done on me, I am used to the wounds and the scars that are covering my body. I'm hungry, and have no idea how long ago it was that someone bothered feeding me. But this too, I have gotten used to. I lay myself down onto my bed, it's impossible for me to walk around in the small cell since one of my wrists is constantly shackled to the bed frame. A heavy collar is tied around my neck, it prevents me from using my powers. They gave me this when after one of the many tests they had found out that I could also make fire appear out of nowhere and control it, and they had found it out the hard way. After that they had thrown me against the wall and had attached the collar around my neck with force. Since that moment they hadn't loosened it.
Honestly, I have no idea how long I have been here or how old I am now. I know it has been a long time, because my breasts have grown and I started getting my monthly bleedings. When they had found out about that, they had put me to sleep. When I woke up, my stomach hurt like hell and a huge cut was covering it. I had no idea what they had done to me but at this point I didn't really care anymore, I knew they were never going to let me go. I had been sick for multiple days, crying out in pain, grabbing my belly as if I was holding it together. I must have had a fever because when I saw my parents in my cell smiling at me, I knew I was hallucinating. In some ways I have stopped fighting them, but in other ways I am as stubborn as the day I arrived. This still makes the baron extremely furious, and I see that as a win for me. I am no longer struggling when they come for me, let them do all the tests they wanted, let them use my body as a way for them to vent their frustrations. I even open my legs and my mouth for them before they can ask. Like the Gregovich guy had said that day, sex was something I would never enjoy. There was no way that I could imagine those touches being something good, they were only used for pain and torture. I sat down, lied down, walked to my cell, and presented my wrist when they locked me up. There were no tears anymore, no screams. I lost myself in the pain, managed to zoom out completely and go to another place. It wasn't a happier place by definition, but it wasn't here.
One of the baron his favorite ways of torture had become letting me shower. I know this might sound silly, but he made sure the water's temperature was always freezing cold. With the powers I had received during the bomb attack this was absolute hell for me. Every time the water touched me it was as if it were knives making their way through my skin.
But it doesn't matter what kind of torture they put me through, never will I say the words Strucker wants to hear, and as long as I don't comply to them they can't use my powers for their purpose. They had tried experiments on me while talking about the "Winter Soldier" project, but when they found out that it didn't work on me for some unknown reason Strucker had absolutely lost it and had smashed everything in the room to pieces. This had included me of course, I wasn't capable of walking for days after that treatment. That's the moment when I decided to stop talking at all, turning to myself and living in my thoughts. At first I was confused when I heard myself scream while I was just sitting in my cell with my mouth closed. That's when I realized it were other prisoner's their screams that I heard. I heard more and more and after quite some time I started to realize that it were their thoughts that I was hearing. It took a couple of weeks (at least I think it were weeks) and a lot of practice and concentration but in the end I actually managed to talk to them in their mind. In the beginning I felt a little less alone, having small mind conversations with my fellow prisoners. But when one after the other got killed and I could hear their cries, hear them begging, when I could almost feel their pain, I stopped seeking contact with the new people brought into the castle.
I turned back to myself living in my own world. Waiting for death to finally take me and bring me to a better place. I hear a door open and can hear heavy footsteps approaching my cell. An armed soldier appears into my sight, using his badge to open the door. "Up!" He says with an angry voice. I sit up straight, waiting for him to open the shackle. When this is done I stand up, the guard grabs me with my long brown hair and pulls it back. "The baron wants to see you, little bitch." He whispers into my ear, after which he licks that very same ear. It is an extremely gross feeling. "Now get moving."
We enter the laboratory, Strucker and a couple of other doctors waiting for me. "Put her in the chair." He says. The guard roughly guides me to a chair and pushes me in it so I sit down. I am already holding out my hand so they can tie my wrist to the wall. "Ah, my dear 507. It's your lucky day today, I have decided to test a new theory and you will be the first one we will try it on. What do you think about that?" I look into his eyes but don't reply. Maybe, if I was actually lucky for once, I will die because of this experiment. They insert needles in my skin, attaching cables and tubes to them. I don't pay attention, I am just staring at the ceiling. In my head I am humming a Russian lullaby my mother used to sing to me, no matter how poor we had been those times were so much better than the ones now. They are inserting strangely colored fluids into my body now, which make my bones feel as if they are on fire (or in my case ice I guess). My back is stretching into an unnatural position and I am having the feeling that I can't breathe. Yes, please let me die. But the pain keeps going on and on, not giving me the much wanted release of death. After what seems like hours the burning sensation gets less, my back is touching the chair again and breathing is getting easier once more. Strucker walks towards me and asks "Are you ready to comply 507?" I assume he wants to hear me say yes, that was probably the goal of this experiment. But I will never comply, I will never be used by Hydra as a tool to get what they want. Slowly, while looking him into his eyes, I put my middle finger up showing him the all known fuck you symbol.
"No!" He yells, striking me in my face. A little blood drips out of my nose but I don't care. He drags me out of the chair after freeing my wrist and throws me on the floor. When I land on the ground face first he starts kicking me with all the power he has in his body, I try to protect my stomach but it isn't really any use. I don't know how long he keeps going, but every inch of my body is in pain. This will leave me bruised for weeks… again. After what felt like an eternity a man enters the room with a nervous and scared look on his face. "Sir…" "What?!" Strucker yells at him. "We just got word that the Avengers are destroying Hydra bases again, this place might be at risk." Fury reaches the baron his eyes and without saying a word he gets his gun out and shoots the guy multiple times in his stomach. "We have to up our defenses, I don't want them messing with our project again. They think I'm dead and I would like to keep it that way." The doctor nods and then points towards me. "What about that one?" "Let her rot in her cell for all I care. Wait, no… Let the unit that has just returned have their way with her. Those 5 guys need to let of some steam and I don't think she will have to will to refuse them right now." The guard grabs my hair and starts pulling me back to my cell, leaving a trail of blood on the floor."
A noose around my neck, it's slowly getting tighter
And I cannot take it off because my hands are tied together
The air is getting thinner and the time is counting down
And still I'm trying and I'm trying
("Suffocating (I'm slowly Dying Here)" by The III-Fitting Garibaldis)