Chapter 23 - Past & Present

Important but semi-filler chapter. You can skip to the later half of the chapter to get to the main part.

Don't forget to give me a comment, reply, or power stone! They give me motivation!

Thank you!

-SR_2027.

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---(Ryo POV)---

How many years has it been since I ever truly felt something... It had been several years or around 26 years to be exact...

The first time I felt anything was not anything good like 'happiness', but it was utter true fear. 

I felt it when I shouldn't have been able to understand the 'emotional' spectrum. It was weird. So weird that when I was born, I felt clouded in fear.

I clearly remember how I was born.

I clearly remember the feeling of being squeezed out of my mother's womb. The feeling of being squeezed, the feeling of my lungs expanding for the very first time as well as the big slap I got on my butt, caused me intense pain.

While I was crying, I sensed the vibration in the air. I clearly remembered the smell of disinfection as well as pollution in the air. It was truly an amazing feeling for me, who was just born just seconds ago. 

I knew for sure that I shouldn't have been feeling this type of feeling. It was unnatural. I didn't know about it for a short while, but I was born with superpowers.

I clearly remembered that as soon as I came to be, the world started to wail, as an unnatural rain poured for a few days straight, almost flooding the city.

Thankfully my family was rich enough to be able to move out of the city. 

That was the best as well as the worst decision they could have made.

The world I was born in was not normal.

I was born in the Year 2027, the same year as the start of World War 3, because of some special element that was discovered on the Moon by some countries. 

The element, called Tesserinium was able to transform any normal humans into mutants! 

This caused a huge war which continued till the Year 2031. During this, my parents were caught in the crossfire. 

I clearly remembered the fact that they made it as they tried to protect me with their body when a small explosion almost killed me.

Looking down at their crying face, I felt utter fear and despair for the second time in my life. My ears buzzed as my mind was going round in confusion and only one thought covered my mind.

[I need to be strongest to survive.]

Sadly, I was not strong. Fate had something else in its mind for me. 

I didn't cry that day. I just stared at my parents' bodies as tears almost flowed down my face. It was as if I knew that if I did stop, I would change. I knew what was going to happen and I wanted to resist it.

The very next day, a rescue party found me, and I was sent to a medical camp where 'doctors' started to take my blood. After taking my blood, they sent me back to a room filled with many people like me.

The look that they gave me as if I was their competition in getting rations and supplies made me so scared that... even when I tried my best to resist... But I finally gave in as I cried that day.

[ That was the day when [Ryo] Died. ]

I cried for so long that day as I knew for sure that as soon as I stopped crying, 'I' would die. Not physically... But I somehow knew that the moment I stop crying, I will [Learn] how to adapt to the situation. I knew that I would turn into someone else. [I] as my identity will die. 

As I tried my best to squeeze out every single drop of my tear, I slowly began to get out of shock as my mind began to… Change… 

My mind slowly started to adapt to the situation as my emotions started to die down. I forgot how to feel almost all emotions as I started to fail to even understand what emotions could feel like.

The only thing that helped me was the emotions that I remembered from the first time I was born.

The only problem was that...

I was almost always surrounded by negative emotions…

The war, the fight, the survival, made me only remember the bad things that had happened to me.

I felt suffocated, but at the same time, I felt that I was free. 

It was a weird but accepting feeling. My body readily accepted it, even as 'I' or… my past version tried its best to resist.

-

"Ryo! Look! I was tested positive for mutation! I will finally be able to leave!"

I looked at the small girl, with raven black hair and raven blue eyes showing me a small patch of paper that showed that she had tested positive for mutation. I 'smiled' at her as I looked over the patch of paper.

The blood that was taken from our body was used to see how much potential we had of getting mutation, and the girl in front of me was one of the few hundred thousand people, who had shown potential to grow mutation power.

Normally it takes more than a week for someone to be tested positive for mutation after looking at the adaptation of one's blood to Tesserinium element. I was also waiting for my positive result, as I knew for myself that I was a mutant, even though I hadn't declared it to them yet.

Ignoring those thoughts, I looked back at the girl that was by my side.

Her name was Sakura. 

It had been a week since we met, and she was one of the few people I met who was like me, who had lost everything…

The first reason I approached her was to start understanding emotions again. I wanted to see what kind of emotions other children of my age show. I wanted to know what emotions caused what changes in one's psyche.

Yet, I failed to understand them. And I knew why it was so. My brain had learned how to [Learn] how to help cope with all the tragedies I had faced.

I had understood already that I had a special ability. No, two to be specific. From the experience and all the things, I had experimented with, I understood that I have two mutant abilities.

My first ability was [Eidetic Memory] and the other one was [Fast Learner].

These two abilities are the primary reason I was able to keep up with the change my mind had been going through.

My 'Eidetic Memory' helped me remember all the different faces, emotions, actions, reactions, or even any sort of movement that any person did.

My 'Fast-Learning' ability helped me adapt and learn anything. This was also the main ability that helped me 'learn to adapt' to the situation I was in... it is just that it has caused me to lose all my emotions.

And made me into this... soulless body.

I can't feel any emotions of mine, but I can imitate any emotions and show them to others in all sorts of ways.

The only problem was my old emotions. All those emotions, clouded into my head, had made it so that I could only 'relive' in them to even feel alive.

"That's great!" I sat by her as she continued to show me all her achievements and boast, while a smile was kept on my face.

We talked for half an hour as she was called by an officer. She waved in my direction as she left.

I knew that she would be ported to another faculty as she was just like me, an orphan. She would be sent to either a laboratory or taken in by a high-ranking person.

As she left, I looked around at the ground, looking for something.

Not finding the thing I was looking for, I imitated a 'sad' face... no I didn't need to imitate it, I just bought the feeling that I felt in the early years of my life as I left for the door, which was guarded by two soldiers.

Ignoring them, I kicked the rocks that were in my way, a way for me to imitate the 'actions' of the children that were in the camp, as I continued to roam the huge area.

And sure, I found it.

Picking it up, I examined it. 

A huge spider on its web. Almost the size of my finger. Not too big, not too small. Not poisonous throughout, much to my disappointment.

I looked around, and after making sure that no one would look at me weirdly, I took a round rock and another one with a flat surface. Then with aim, I lightly bounced the round rock at the web, which caused the spider along with the web to drop to land on the ground.

As soon as the spider fell to the ground, it sprinted away. I knew that I wouldn't be able to catch up to it, so I followed it slowly for some seconds, letting it calm down as I followed it at some distance.

It stopped down a short distance from me, much to my luck.

Again, I looked around, making sure no one was looking at me, I aimed the rock, and after a short calculation, tossed it to the spider. And...

*Spat*

It was crushed.

With that, I took the rock as I took something off it and placed it in my pocket. Then dusting off my hand, I sighed, 'Phew, I have a lot of work to do today.'

-

"Ryo! I will be leaving today... I don't know if we will meet again."

"Hey! We will meet again! Don't cry! I told you how they will take you to the capital! You will learn a lot and grow a lot. And when you grow, you will have to look for me when you grow up, promise?"

"Yes! I promise."

I looked at her as she started to eat the bowl of meal that was given to her. It was already dinner time and today was the last night that we would be sharing dinner. 

Normally it would have been impossible, but she cried and argued that she wouldn't eat alone without her friend. 

"..."

I looked at the meal that she had. Unlike me, who only got some sort of oatmeal sort of thing, she had a lot of veggies or even some meat mixed in the meal, but I didn't feel any sort of greed for the bowl.

I observed as she emptied the 'bowl' with a smile. She had offered me the bowl of meal to be shared, but I declined saying that this was her reward of enduring so much till now.

"Woah this is so tasty!"

"..."

-

[She was found dead due to food poisoning the very next day.]

-

"Hey, Ryo don't cry. I know how much you loved her. She was such a sweet child, but how can they do something so low.", A soldier grits his teeth as he pats my head as I 'cried' while clutching his shirt.

I was not a loner while I was in the camp.

The first time I was brought to the camp, I was a bit of a loner at the start, but slowly I understood and started to adapt.

My eyes are now sharper compared to when I was 4 years old, and my brain was faster. I was able to imitate the emotions from the second day at the camp, as I made various friends, mainly adults, who pitied me.

This included this soldier.

His name was 'Otsuki Nao', quite weird, as his name meant 'honest big moon' in Japanese. I saw his face harden when he saw someone in trouble, and he helped people around him many times.

To gain his attention, one evening, I sneaked out of my room and clung to his leg as I started to 'cry'. 

He was surprised and even tried to free his leg, but after some struggle, his face twitched as he sighed and just rubbed my head when he saw me look toward him with tears and snot covering my face.

He asked my name, about my parents and stuff. After learning about my situation, we interacted a lot as he basically 'adopted me' after a week of my hard work.

This led to this situation as he consoled me as I 'cried'.

-

Another week passed by as I sat inside a small tent, and I thought about why I killed her.

I was never caught. It was an almost foolproof plan. They could never suspect me killing her. Even if they did, how would the higher-ups believe it?

A soon-to-be 5-year-old child kills another child who is his best friend.

Really?

With my connections and all the 'fronts' I had shown to people to build up my image, no one suspected me and continued to look out for the culprit spy within the camp. 

I swung my legs as I thought, 'There was no real reason for me to kill her… She could have been successful in the future and would have looked out for me... No, she won't have, there was a very low chance of that happening, but that is not a reason for me to kill her.'

I looked down at my feet as I wondered why I did it. And one single answer came to my mind. 

'I just wanted her to suffer… Like me… I wanted her to feel what I was feeling. The feeling of being 'dead'... She was pure, she was a white canvas, and I wanted to leave a huge mark on it... I wanted to make her feel despair.'

'I wonder how she would have felt when she started to vomit blood. Was it despair? Or would it have been sadness of not being able to meet her best friend for one last time before dying?'

That was the day I enlightened myself... in a way, as soon later on, I had little to no opportunity to do what I achieved in the camp.

-

Another week passed by as the initial population of a few thousand was reduced to three thousand within the settlement.

The non-mutants were given their cards and sent out of the camp to live in the land of 'mobs', while the mutants were either sent out to live in the land of 'riches' or disappeared in thin air. 

I continued to wait alone, as I spent most of my time reading books that Nao bought me while I sat by the area he always guarded.

I wondered when they would find out my mutation. The only thing that could have confused them would have been the increased 'Tesserenium' in my blood, and they should have acted by now, much to my confusion.

-

Another week passed and finally, my result came and I declared a mutant with a unique mutation, as I expected as they found a weird amount of 'Tesserenium' in my blood, and they offered to take me to the land of 'riches', to which I replied that I would go with my 'father'.

This confused them but after discovering that Nao was my father, they could only decide to comply as I spent a month reading books, and people, and understanding nature.

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Later, I and Nao started to live in the lands of 'riches' as Nao continued to take care of me till he later died when I was 14 years old and had spent a lot of my time in 'Leaning Camp for Mutants'.

On the day he died, I was by his side, trying to see what kind of emotion he would make before he died. 

I gave him a soft smile as he closed his eyes.

-

"..."

That night I sat on my bed as I looked at the ceiling and wondered...

I have experienced all the emotions that I could imagine. The negative ones are already there within me, making me feel 'alive', while the others make me feel more 'human'.

I continue to look at the ceiling...

'I had once painted a canvas black, but this time it was kept white…'

I wanted to see how long the canvas stayed white.

A 'satisfied' smile flashed on my face…

It was the same that Nao showed me when he died.

"Now it's time for me to secure my position and just live a normal life huh?"

I had no goals left.

I knew that there was not much I could gain now. Except to learn how to feel emotions again.

If I wanted to destroy the world, I was sure that I would have been able to do it within several years, although it would require me to show my full capability to the higher-ups. But since I knew that it was achievable, I didn't feel that motivated.

Furthermore, I cannot kill someone easily in this 'land of riches', there are tens of cameras in the smallest of shops, tens of android 'bodyguards' guarding weaker people, and drones circling everywhere at a constant period.

If I wanted to commit a crime, I had to take tens of measures and calculations to even commit one. Which honestly motivated me a bit, I guess?

After killing 4 people in two weeks, the security became tighter around my area became a bit tight, and more people were dispatched to take action which soon became boring and risky for me to continue.

-

It has been 1 more year and as I had predicted, my life became boring. And that was the time I started to feel changes in my body again.

For the second time in my life, I started to [Learn] how to feel emotions to a very small extent to some point.

I speculated that it was because I was feeling so bored and protected that my brain realized that there was no need for me to stop myself from improving.

But then something happened within the next few days which 'surprised' me by a landslide.

'What!? How is this possible?' My lifeless eyes stirred open in surprise as I looked at the new transfer student. 

[Her raven blue hair and eyes made me remember a certain girl that I saw years back.]

'No... She is not Sakura... Or she could be… I don't want to believe it but I have to say there is a very high possibility for her to be 'Sakura'. Through her body proportions are a bit different, and her name is Nana… and she is a person from the city of 'mobs', huh? Her body language says otherwise.'

'But… Why do I feel so... so weird as I looked at her... Why is my heart beating weirdly...?'

At that moment an idea struck me, 'No... This is different... Is this the sign of my mind telling me that I should do something about the situation? Is it letting me know that I am free to experience some sort of emotions…'

'Aha! Love! Wait...! I can use it! I can finally feel 'Love'! Finally, I will be able to complete the missing part huh? Well, it will be the same...'

-

[Nana later died in a war between two families.]

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-- (Timeline: When Ryo was within the 'Egg' during the events of World at War II) --

"Huh..."

My eyes stirred open in the eggshell I was in. 'Weird', I thought so.

Having flashbacks? It is normal, after all, I knew very well what kind of situation I was in.

When I thought that I drank a 'Love Potion', thinking that I wanted to change, the 'main personality' that was the real Ryo, actually drank two different potions, one which induced me to feel 'love' while the other one made me feel 'disgust' of the person I am in love with.

After drinking the potion, he instantly used the system, before the effects of the 'potion' kicked in and changed him into an obsessive madman, and he 'sealed' himself within the 'System' itself by using 'Ups'.

That was not the end, to make sure that I followed a certain guided 'path' of his plan, he somehow used Ups and provided it to the System to make it work on my body to forcefully follow a certain path or trajectory.

The 'main personality' had anticipated that I would become too obsessed with Zero Two and would do something unnecessary as I wouldn't be able to contain myself as it would be the first time in tens of years that I felt true 'love' again.

So, to make sure to maintain the status quo, he decided to make me drink a hate potion or something similar, so that I could never actually 'kill' Zero Two before achieving a goal.

This made me realize what plan the 'main' had in mind.

And this solved another one of my concerns. What type of 'System' do I have?

There are various ways to form a system from what I have speculated.

This involved using an AI; using someone's soul as a medium to form a System, that slowly becomes sentient; an Illusion System, which is formed using reality and dream manipulation, and finally a special type of system.

A 'parasite' system.

A sentient system can have a soul or just be a soulless creation, although it will have to follow certain 'guidelines' for some reason related to its existence no matter what. It grows with the host, and most importantly, it wants to live… as its life is connected to its host.

My main personality was able to understand what kind of system was attached to 'us'. It is indeed living, but not a separate entity. The 'System' can solely live if I am alive, but it is also an independent entity.

Knowing this and understanding it well, the 'main personality' decided to use it to 'our' advantage.

This leads me to another discovery. 

The 'main' body took a huge risk. He wanted to confirm if… 'DIO' was even real or just an illusion made by the System to make 'us' its puppet.

If the system was using illusion or AI which is trying to manipulate 'us', I would understand what kind of system is attached to me, while also opening paths to various other plans. But put the 'main personality' in a bit of a losing position.

He would never be able to recover from being 'sealed' and would be lost in my body.

But…

If the 'DIO' was real, the system would have to 'protect' itself.

For this reason, he planned out that if 'DIO' was real, the System would have to gain some sort of power-up which would be derived from the 'DIO' to try protecting itself… or 'us'. Which furthers up into a much bigger web of plans.

"…"

As I am a person, who has, in a way 'broken' away from destiny, and I took Zero Two away, breaking her from her 'destiny', what will happen to the result of our love?

Our child...

It will be the key to our ascension to Godhood. 

The moment our child is born, it will generate so much 'Paradox' that it will become 'our' key to becoming God. My Child was never supposed to be born, and even if it was born, it would break so many paradoxes that there is a literal chance of it becoming a 'GOD' from the very birth.

But thinking that, I didn't feel any excitement.

The reason for that lies based on the hypothesis that 'DIO' is real, and the system finds a way to 'protect' 'us'.

After all, it won't be me who will be feeling any sort of benefit, instead, it will be the 'main personality' who will gain the best out of it. And I couldn't stop it from happening.

If I guessed it right, I am pretty sure that the moment I try to get off the main track, I will instantly lose control over my body because of 'System'.

I will be a mind trapped within a body that is moving on its own as soon as I try something weird.

The only thing is that it is yet to happen… And there is a way out…

The good news is that I have found a way out, to at least live a bit longer than 'he', my main personality had planned for me too, although this is also a part of the main personality's plan for me.

And I know it. 

There is no way out for me, except for me to do what the main wants me to do.

Sighing, I started to move my body, as I broke the egg that I had formed for me to take a sleep in.

The plan is very complex and there are too many variables that can change the outcome of the thing they are cooking. It can either take them to the 'sky' or bury us 6 feet below the 'ground'.

One single mistake and they will lose it all.

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[4255]

I hope this chapter clears out all your confusion. You can ask me questions about what you are doubtful about in the comments.

Don't forget to give me a comment, reply, or power stone! They give me motivation!

Thank you!

-SR_2027.