Stupid

RM's POV

"Venice. Ven-iss"

"Venice", Jungkook repeated impeccably.

"Very good", I complimented and patted his shoulder, impressed by his pronunciation. We were lying on our stomachs, watching an international swimming competition (I don't know what it's called) while munching on a sea weed snack. We would use the couch but Taehyung fell asleep while watching anime earlier and tipped over a whole bottle of pear extract. Jungkook was genuinely interested in the sports event but I was only there to pass the time and decided to accomplish it by polishing his english. The member's english had improved a lot through the years, Suga, Jungkook and Taehyung almost aces. If only Jin could lose the obnoxious Korean accent, he wouldn't be at the bottom of the ranking. Hoseok once surprised me with flawless speech and I felt like a fool for not connecting that to his friendship with Nara. Anyways, today I was free. I had free time on my hands until next week with no idea what to do with it. So I planned my day in my head. I had talked to my mother on the phone yesterday. I should pay her a visit, its long due. Maybe do a short vlive and stay the night.

So I talked to Sejin hyung right away and got us all two days off. I informed the members and advised them to pay their families a visit. It was almost eleven when I was done packing and carried my bag to the living room. Jimin and Jungkook were there waiting for me. The three of us could travel together, was Jimin's idea. So we rode the bus, I got off at my stop and they waved me goodbye. I wanted to slap them upside their thick skulls. The reason of wearing a disguise is to not be noticeable. The whole point is kind of lost when they glue their faces to the glass, yelling at me to take care while waving their hands so frantically that it hits an older woman two seats ahead. I walk the distance to my neighbourhood, choosing to feel some sun on my skin instead of hailing a cab. I walk into a convenience store and the ahjumma at the cash register recognises me, greeting me descreetly as I pay for some treats. She knew me as a kid and I feel warm inside to hear about how she's been doing.

Mom is pleasantly surprised when I show up at the door with bread, eggs, cake and soju. She looks at me warningly in exasperation.

"You know I have a weak heart, son. I'll die before holding my grandkids if you keep this up"

"No you won't", I bend down to hug her small frame. She pinches my cheeks.

"Does that mean you already found a girl?"

"What? No!", I shake my head and make myself at home, I didn't bring a lot of stuff because mom always has my room prepared. I take off the ball cap, sunglasses, face mask, etc. and set them on the study desk in my room. She follows after me, leaning on the door with her arms crossed. "You know I don't have time for relationships", I defended, shrugging out of my overcoat.

"You do now", she stated blankly.

What can I say to that? Nothing. So I asked her the menu for lunch instead and her eyes lit up the way all mother's do when it comes to feeding their children. The subject was evaded for the time being. I had a good time, playing with my dog and being able to eat homemade food. I did a vlive before dinner. I talked about how we were all taking a rest, recommended a few songs along with bulletproof Girl Scouts' album. I was careful not to drop any hints on the upcoming collab. The fans asked me how I felt about Nara behaving like that on the show (since she's my hoobae) and I decided to give a neutral remark, quickly diverting the topic by revealing how I didn't recognise her at first. I laughed to show my embarrassment, freely speaking my thoughts, like how I wanted to slap myself for being a poor sunbae. I ended it by saying how I thought she was cool and wished success for her group.

"What's wrong?", mom asked, laying the table for dinner.

"Huh?"

"Your ears are all red"

"Oh! About that....", I pulled out a chair for her before taking a seat myself. "I was doing a vlive right now"

She hummed, ladling soup into my bowl.

"There's this other artist at the company-"

"Female artist", she didn't say it as a question, not looking up from her food.

"Yeah....", I tread carefully, "female artist. Well, we were supposed to be on a show together and I met her before leaving the company...."

She hummed again, refilling my water.

".....and I didn't even recognise her. She's been my hoobae for so many years and I just-"

"You're blushing again"

"What?", I felt my cheeks and sure enough, they were heating up. She told me to drink some water and propped one hand on the table to rest her face, staring at me. It's this thing she does when I'm being difficult. I can't read the look on her face and it makes me feel so damn vulnerable. Like I ate the candy I wasn't supposed to and she's waiting for me to own up. It's times like these that I am genuinely afraid of my mother. She didn't press further into the topic and let it rest while dinner lasted.

"What's her name?", she finally asked when we went to the terrace, just star-gazing while drinking soju. I let out a breath.

"....Nara", I said, gazing at a particularly bright star, "Lee Nara". Her expression seemed to brighten at this. I shifted, crossing my legs, "you know her?"

"What's she like?"

"She's....", you are ignoring my question but okay. I looked at the sky and let out a breathy chuckle, "...crazy. She's crazy"

"How crazy?"

I turned, shifting closer and leaning to be on eye level, "crazy like you", I winked. She swatted my shoulder, going on about how she should never have married dad because I'm exactly like him and how the both of us are going to give her an early death. And that if I didn't bring a girl to her funeral she would haunt me for eternity.

I spent the night and the whole of next day, taking the evening bus back to Seoul. I could've stayed longer but I also could visit her again later. So I payed my respects (though I didn't need to) at the company and went up to my studio. It was just as I left it. I used the computer but after some time decided to clock in because I wasn't doing anything productive anyway. I paused at the door, sparing a glance at the plush armchair next to it. I stayed like that for a moment remembering the indecipherable words spilling out of the girls mouth as she collapsed on top of it. She was talking in her sleep when I adjusted her position so she wouldn't roll off. I was lost in my thoughts, wondering if she sleep walked all over the building when she suddenly kicked me in the gut, screaming. 'Go away' she shrieked, 'don't touch me!'. Eyes wide, swollen red and glassy. Complexion a ghostly pale as she wrapped her arms around herself like a shield, pressing herself into the cushions. She didn't seem to recognise me as her eyes darted all over my face in evident fear. It didn't last long and she fell asleep instantly when I peeled of my jacket and put it over her, patting her head. It would be a lie to say I didn't panic. I'm not good at comforting people and had no clue what to do. I stayed there on my chair till morning watching her sleep though I couldn't see her face. Her phone buzzed once and showed a low battery when I succeeded in pulling it out of her hoodie. The battery died and I plugged it in to charge, leaving the studio right after to at least get some coffee. I didn't return for the chance of her waking up and feeling embarrassed.

I shook off my thoughts as I inserted the pin code, the light turning green as I pushed open the door to our dorm. We could all easily afford high class individual residences, but chose to stay together. I changed out of my pants and went into the kitchen. I found Suga-hyung in the balcony.

"You're back early", he remarked.

I only nodded, taking a seat across from him, "are you drinking alone?"

"What does it look like?"

He was being snappy tonight. A snappy Suga is a worried Suga. I bit back a smile as I poured myself a drink. "So what were you thinking about?"

He drained the glass and sighed, "the internet's been blowing up over Nara's episode"

"I expect"

"The fans only love her more than ever. It looks like she's grown to new heights of respect. .......but I sincerely doubt her behaviour"

I raised a brow, "what do you mean?"

"Lee Nara.....", he stared at the bottom of the glass, "....isn't one to act so rashly. Sure, she was put in a spot. But she shouldn't have lost her shit like that. That was a stupid thing to do"

"You think there's a storm brewing somewhere?", I questioned.

"That's inevitable, isn't it? But that's not what I mean", there was a long pause. He looked out to the city, alive and pulsing beneath us as he continued, "don't you ever think that it's a crappy decision on the company's part to make Lizzy the leader instead of her?"

I said that I do.

"There's a story for that"

"What?"

"Namjoon-ah....", he looked into my eyes with meaning. I hummed for him to go on and he said, "Nara was originally chosen as the leader"

"Oh...", I exclaimed as realisation of what he was suggesting made itself clear to me. "She denied leadership....."

He nodded, not bothering to explain why he was telling me this. He didn't need to. I understood.

Nara is not stupid.

And Min Yoongi is aware of that. He doubts if she has some other personal problem but doesn't want to confront her about it.

"I don't know, hyung...", I trailed off, leaning back in my seat and shaking my head. He only pours himself another glass, downs it in one go and pats me once on the shoulder before heading inside.

Nara doesn't just have a personal problem, I concluded, she has a psychological problem.

But

Just look at Yoongi-hyung being soft over a girl.....!