313. Of worries, hopes and a little explosion

Viyara Nameless

Maybe I hadn't gotten over her quite yet. Not entirely. The last night, at least while I had been alone with Aurelia, had been amazing, unexpected, reassuring and a bunch of less prim and proper adjectives but even back then… I hadn't severed our connection the entire time, had I? I hadn't thought much of it but once I had seen Cassy shrug out of her garments and intimately embrace a whole plethora of people I had to school my expression, otherwise I would have stared at them just like Ahri, except… I didn't have the right.

Also, while I was feeling jealous, or maybe envious since there was nothing going on between the two of us, I was also experiencing a sharp pang of guilt. Maybe I shouldn't have allowed Aurelia to kiss me the night before. Considering how I was feeling right now, it might have been more than just a bit unfair. And now, I had to seriously think about whether or not I wanted her advances to continue. Don't get me wrong, she was beautiful, kind, a little awkward from time to time and unbelievably sweet, considering she was an ancient, blood hungry, almost immortal vampire, and I liked her, I truly did. Her warmth, her dry humour, her knowledge, the way her presence enveloped me like a comforting, protecting blanket, but…

"Don't worry," she suddenly spoke up and wrapped her arm around me, pulling me closer. "I knew what I was getting myself into. It took me ages to realise I wasn't in love with Sarai and she treated me like a thing. I can't even imagine how hard it must be for you."

"You know… about that and what I was thinking," I breathed and snuggled up against her shoulder, her scent mixing with the smell of verdant earth and wet rocks. She chuckled quietly.

"Well, the first even a blind man could see, considering how intently you're staring, and the second… I'm an old vampire who's fed on transcendent blood. Don't tell them, but I'm pretty sure my sense are even better than those of our angels, at least if they don't cheat. It's… Viy, I know it's not my place, especially with my memories jumbled up as they are, but…" she paused, her fingers twitching nervously.

"Go on," I urged, "you can tell me. Whatever it is, I couldn't possibly get mad with you." I felt her relax as she kissed my neck chastely, her eyes wandering over the mossy bed where Cassy was just now depositing a sleeping Vanya and shooing away her sister, who had crept closer with her friends to examine the changed fey under the pretence of looking after them. 

"Do you see that," she finally spoke up. "She really cares for them, not as much as for you, but that's who she is. And it's also the best you're ever going to get. Viyara…. You carry a part of her in your chest but you're no immortal. They… they don't love, at least the ones I've met don't. And there's a good reason for it. She's different but she's also an angel. Whatever else… one day she'll bury us. You, me, Erya, even Helena, Sera and Greta… one day, we will be gone like dust in the wind and she knows it. Even a creature like her isn't above fear. I don't know if she realises it herself, but… until death do us part. That's not a promise she's ever going to make to anyone who can't possibly live as long as her. Even if she wasn't in love head over heels, she wouldn't entertain the thought of marrying a mortal. Spend a night with them, sure, but more? I don't know if it helps, but that's what made me realise that Sarai wasn't my future, nor my life."

I wasn't sad, not even disappointed, but I still felt tears burning in my eyes, even though I didn't know why. Maybe it was pity? Did I really pity an angel? Or was it anger? Anger at myself for my naivety? "I think I already knew," I whispered into her shoulder. "Why do you think she hasn't run, then? Wouldn't it have been easier to leave us behind before she became too attached?"

"Probably but she, both of them, they are no cowards and enjoying every moment we have together, knowing how it's going to end, is still better than living alone and isolated. It took her several lifetimes to figure that out, but that lesson she has learned long before you met her. They have raised Greta, haven't they? Why do you think they're prepared to always help out, to support us, even if it costs them? Sera told you last night… to them, we're children, some of us are their children, you included. Yes, parents shouldn't have to bury their kids, but that's the price they're prepared to pay and I imagine that's the farthest they can go without risking their sanity."

"So you're basically saying I should get her out of my head if I don't want to become the one going insane? Thanks, but I figured as much already," I replied with a pinched smile. 

"That's not it, but you should see her for what she is. She might look like the most beautiful girl you've ever met, but that's not her. She's…"

"The sun," I whispered, remembering a snippet of conversation I had picked up when Cassy had talked to Greta. "Dangerous and unapproachable." I felt her nod.

"I'd have gone with the moon, considering how she looks, but you're still right."

"And where does that leave us," I wanted to know, even though I dreaded her answer. I didn't want to lose her, but it had to be her decision. Everything else would just be wrong.

"Viyara… I love the stars as well. And the night, the sun, the ocean, the distant light of worlds I'd one day like to show you. But that's not the same. I… I don't mind that you're longing for something you can't reach, it allows you to dream, to grow, to change… but I need you to understand," she moved, her lips finding mine, "that this is between us and nobody else. If you can promise me as much, I'll willingly wait until you're sure where you stand." I took a shaky breath.

"Of course, but… don't you want something… more?"

"Definitely. But it doesn't have to be now and I'd rather share it with you in the future than anybody else in the present. To put it bluntly: I'm not going to sleep with you until you've made up your mind but I'm gladly going to wait until it happens. Even if it doesn't… I'd still like to find out. Do you?" A warm shiver ran down my spine and for the first time it was me who stole a kiss.

"Of course I do, I've simply been afraid of hurting…" she didn't let met finish and tenderly placed her fingers on my lips, while the dim, greenish blue light turned her eyes into smouldering coals.

"I know, that's one of the reasons why I want to be with you. Scales, wings, immortal godmother and all." For the next few minutes we forgot our worries, finding solace in each other's arms, even though the occasional giggle, not to mention the frequent outbursts of magic only a few steps away, ensured we didn't get entirely lost. Only when Helena nimbly jumped into her daughter's arms, eyeing the sparkling waters dubiously, just like a cat would stare at a bath, did we separate.

Ever since the first successful transformation the atmosphere had been relaxed, almost chatty, the kids curiously snooping around between the roots while the two human girls Cassy had brought along watched the proceedings with wide eyes, their jaws dropping always closer to the ground. Her personal entourage, the five kitsune her brother had made her take along, were keeping their distance, apparently satisfied with guarding the entrance. The oldest of them, a strong, silent soldier type by the name of Corvin, had been engrossed in a conversation with Helena while Cassy had cared for the fey and former mercenaries, but now they were anxiously watching their former queen, fear for her safety written clearly all over their features.

I might even have struck up a conversation and tried to calm them down but the first time we had met still lingered in the back of my mind and truth be told I didn't like them much. It wasn't only the far from perfect first impression, they were just too… distant, too absorbed in their mission to truly care for anything else. I did know how much of a boon their behaviour could eventually become, but in comparison to the unceremonious, cordial way the rest of us interacted they simply stood out like a sore thumb and I had had more than enough decorum when I had still been living with my father. As a true dragoness and his heir I had always been treated, well, like a princess and I just couldn't get myself to warm up to their formal, militaristic behaviour. I had only seen them laugh and curse openly once and that had been during the celebration at the "Gilded Dream" when they had already drunk more than their fair share.

Shrugging I turned away and focused on the pond, where Cassy's wings were once again obscuring my vision. The waters frothed and surged around the sparkling, silver curtain, bubbles rose from their depths in a constant stream only to pop with an explosion of scintillating sparks once they reached the surface and the heavy, acidic smell of ozone slowly crowded out every other scent. It was much more overwhelming than before, the immeasurable forces Cassy used to create a mirror image of Reia's magic within her mother a palpable, suffocating presence I could taste and feel. Without a spoken word Aurelia and I got to our feet, expressions taunt. She went straight to the unconscious fey and humans while I headed for the kids and the two barmaids. 

My body was already glowing when I reached them and the fraction of a second later a living, breathing, golden wall protected them from the magic within the pond. I had only spared them a cursory glance, enough to make sure they weren't already swamped by the energies the angel was pumping into the air, but it wasn't necessary. Ahri had already made her way to the very edge of the waters, her wings spread wide, collecting every stream of magic that was thrown our way. Reia, Estrella and Archy were taking the whole spectacle in stride but the two human girls were close to collapsing, their gazes wandering along my glittering body. Once they met my eye, the last bit of strength left them and they slumped to the mossy ground, just in time for the magic around us to reach new heights. Figures…

A deep, humming noise filled the cavern and I inadvertently wrapped my shimmering coils around us while the eerie, unearthly tone made my scales itch and tingle, almost as if the torrents of power were running directly through my heart. I bared my fangs and growled deep in my throat, drowning out the sound for a mere moment. The very next second a wave of flickering light exploded from Cassy and I felt her energies batter against my hide while Reia's small hands closed around the tip of my tail. I could feel them shaking but whether it was from fear or excitement I couldn't tell, not until she screamed against the arcane storm:

"Let me out! She needs me, she can't replicate the pattern without me, I need to get to them! Damn it, Viyara, move your oversized ass!" I blinked, still trying to make sense of how our cozy, protected cavern had suddenly become the centre of a transcendent, dangerous maelstrom but the tiny vixen didn't even allow me enough time to comprehend the impressions drowning me, never mind organising my thoughts. 

"Fine," I grunted, as well as I could manage telepathically. She squealed shrilly when my iron hard scales enveloped her completely but I didn't pay much attention to her antics and instead slithered forward, already reaching for Cassy's mind. Unfortunately the forces she controlled had sealed her off hermetically and I felt like a fly, bouncing of an iron gate when I tried to get through to her. "By the Great Fox," I cursed, the foreign idiom drifting as naturally through my thoughts as if I had been born on Boseiju as well. I knew we weren't in danger, neither immortal would allow any one of us to get hurt, but knowing something and believing it were entirely different matters and despite my own heritage, my own powers, I felt threatened, like a bird caught in the eye of the storm. I was safe, for as long as I wouldn't move, but once I stumbled into the ravaging forces, thundering around us, I'd be torn to shreds in an instant, my strength counting for naught.

I snarled, as much to bolster my courage as to show it and pressed my precious burden more tightly against my stomach while a shimmering fog began rising form the pond. My awareness spread, my senses and my telepathy enveloping every nook and cranny of the grotto. I felt the deep breaths of the unconscious fey and mercenaries, I tasted the rising, almost unbearable panic, consuming the barmaids, I heard the building tension in the limbs of the five kitsune soldiers, I saw the spectacle of light and power, a blue and silver storm revolving around a scintillating core of pure magic and my own transcendent spark reacted.

From one heartbeat to the next it roared to life, a behemoth stirred from its slumber, the terrifying onslaught a delectable feast in its eyes, a succulent buffet it couldn't resist. For a moment I lost control, my mind torn between the rising tides of power and the fragile sense of self I still retained. As shameful as it was, I wouldn't have managed to resist, I would have been buried underneath the raging wrath of aeons past if it hadn't been for a small, almost negligible bundle of flesh and fur I still held in my paws.

Reia squirmed and screamed and when that didn't yield the desired result she changed. The massive, golden beak of an enormous eagle pierced my scales with ease, golden blood with a hint of silver spurting from the wound in a steaming waterfall of molten metal. "Viyara," she hollered, her mind forcefully tearing into mine. "Focus! That's not for you nor me, neither of us can survive this, not yet! Just…" she seemed to drift further away, the awakening forces within me eroding her will, but she didn't falter and, without hesitation, reached out in a different direction. The next moment a cleansing whirlwind of flames and sparks thundered through my mind and freed my thoughts. The blessed silence didn't last long, though.

"Don't you dare, come back to us," Ahri ordered and I obeyed. "Now, throw her. Cassy knows, she'll catch her. Just throw her in, she'll be fine, I promise."

"Are you…" I began but Reia immediately shot me down.

"It's my decision and I trust my sister! Now do as she says! Please…"

"Goddamned stubborn kitsune," I cursed but there was no real heat behind my words. All of us were strong willed, defiant and arrogant, after all. My muscles, steely tendons as large as trees, twitched beneath my skin, a deep groan, lost in the cacophony surrounding us, escaped me and I flung the tiny vixen forward, her multicoloured tresses fluttering through the air behind her like a veil. Barely a heartbeat later she vanished behind the glaring curtain of light and our connection broke, torn asunder by the powers of an immortal.

"One day, just one single day without any of this," I whispered into the silence that had taken hold of my thoughts. 

"You'd get bored before noon," Aurelia's velvety voice replied. "Don't pretend, you actually enjoy it, just as much as I do." When I turned my head I saw her at my side, wings unfurled, eyes ablaze with an inner fire that seemed to be pulling me in. The way she looked, surrounded by a corona of whirling flames and streaming power, she reminded me so much of an immortal that I almost wanted to cower but instead I felt… tempted, her allure as pronounced as her glistening fangs. 

"Maybe I do," I admitted. "Or is the company we keep," I added, my thoughts laced with an unspoken invitation.

A smile spread across her face like the break of dawn. "That too," she answered, her blood red tongue darting out from between pink lips as she studied me from beneath her bangs. "Viyara, I'm truly grateful you decided to hold my leash. There's no one else I'd rather belong to."