EPISODE 9 - Sci-fi

April 19, 20XX

8:20 AM

I'm giving this world three chances, after that...

Kibe: *sighs* If only I could kill myself though...

With my tip-top smarts, I could top at any time. And that's why I decided to join...

*Door opens*

Kibe: HELLO! I'M HERE TO JOIN THE RESEARCHERS OF THE FUTURE CLUB!

*Three people look at him*

Boy 1: Can you please quiet down, we're doing research here...

Boy 2: Oh, Toshiaki-kun, you need to be more mindful of your kouhais.

Huh?

*Boy 2 looks at Kibe*

Boy 2: Wait, aren't you in the same class as we are? What was your name again?

Ehehehe, they never noticed me, haven't they?

Kibe: My name is Kibe Takayuki.

Kajiwara: I'm Yuu Kajiwara, I'm the leader here. You can call me Kajiwara-san. That guy over there is Toshiaki Sando-kun. Hmmmm...

*He looks at Kibe*

Kajiwara: You don't look very smart, you look like a dumb, rude, introverted shut-in, but that's just my intuition hehe.

He got almost everything right.

*He kneels*

Kibe: You are quite sharp-tongued, it hurts, but it's all true.

Girl: That's just how he is.

Huh? Who's that?

Okada: Greetings, lowlife, my name is Arisu Okada. Call me Okada-sama. NOW KNEEL!

That girl with the lab coat and glasses acts like some hotshot, not my type.

Kibe: HUH? WHY SHOULD I KNEEL BEFORE Y-

*Kajiwara kneels*

Kajiwara: PLEASE STEP ON ME, MY QUEEN!

*She steps on him*

WHAT'S WRONG WITH THIS CLUB?

*A few minutes later*

*The three club members are sitting with Kibe standing*

Kajiwara: So what do you guys think? Should we let him join?

*Both club members look at each other*

Both: NOT MY PROBLEM!

*Kajiwara looks at Kibe once again*

Kajiwara: So I'll be in charge once more... YOU'RE HIRED!

Kibe: YESSSSSSSSSSS!

Kajiwara: But... answer me a riddle first.

SH*T!

Kajiwara: Here goes nothing! What did the scientist say when he found 2 atoms of helium? YOU HAVE 10 SECONDS! START!

Note: 1...

OH F*CK WHAT IS IT?

Note: ... 2... 3...

THINK! KIBE! THINK!

Note: ...4 ...5 ... 6...

THIS IS MY ONLY CHANCE! THINK! HELIUM! WHAT IS ITS SYMBOL NAME!

Note: ...7... 8... 9...

It's 'He', BUT WHAT DID THE SCIENTIST SAY?!

Kajiwara: DING DONG! TIMES UP! What's your answer?

Kibe: Hehe, I don't kno-

Kajiwara: CORRECT!

Eh?

Kajiwara: THE CORRECT ANSWER IS HeHe! CONGRATULATIONS! YOU'RE PART OF OUR CLUB STARTING TODAY!

Kibe: ...Oh. Cool.

That's it?

Kajiwara: For now, you leave as a warrior, COME BACK TOMORROW AS A SCIENTIST!

Kibe: Thanks! I'll be leaving for now... see ya tomorrow, I guess?

I don't know what just happened, so I'll retreat for the time being.

*Kibe leaves and closes the door*

Kajiwara: I raised that boy.

Okada: What are you saying? You just recognized his existence now and then raised him for exactly 5 minutes and 37 seconds? That boy is still an embryo.

Sando: Don't you mean a zygote? An embryo takes days.

Okada: Ah yes, my bad. You get 1 point.

Sando: YES!

Kajiwara: How about me?

Okada: You still owe me a point after I helped you make that jetpack.

Kajiwara: But, Okada-san, you know I'm not as good as you in mechanical engineering.

Okada: Then don't build something you can't complete in the first place.

Kajiwara: Roger!

April 20, 20XX

4:20 PM

Sci-fi protagonists are usually very smart and cold to others, their inventions tend to be more advanced than modern technology, and have IQ surpassing even Albert Einstein and Stephen Hawking combined. Surreal, you may say. But taking that into consideration, I doubt that the author has IQ that high. So that means he uses Goo- Doodle in the scientific facts used and in using big and complicated words. I'll keep my phone in my pocket and search occasionally to keep up with them.

*Kibe opens the door*

Kibe: Good afternoon everyone!

*The three look at Kibe*

Kajiwara: HELLO KOUHAI-KUN!

Kibe: Hello Senpai!

Well, I guess he technically is a senpai since he was the one who founded the club.

Kajiwara: Um, just a question, in what branch of science are you specialized?

Ummmm...

Kibe: None. I came solely in to learn from all of you.

Kajiwara: I see, that's perfect then, we have the perfect job for people like you. You will be our...

Sando: Hey lab assistant, get me some black coffee. Any kind will do.

Kibe: Roger!

Okada: Hey lab rat, drink this drug for me.

*She hands over a pill with red and white stripes*

Kibe: What does this do?

Okada: No comment.

Seems shady.

*He drinks the pill*

Hmm. I don't feel anything strange.

Kibe: NOW will you tell me?

Hm. Something feels strange...

Kibe: Hey... I feel something weird in my stomach.

*Okada smirks*

Okada: It's working... IT'S WORKING!

Kibe: URGHHH...

*His stomach grumbles*

IT HURTS! F*CK YOU OKADA SENSEI. IF YOU WEREN'T SUCH

A CUTIE AND IF WE WERE IN A COMEDY, I WOULD DROPKICK YOU 'TILL YOU CRY. Hm? The pain seems to be fading.

*He stands*

Kibe: WHAT DID YA DO TO ME?

Okada: Now do you feel the periods women go through? Have some consideration.

Kibe: IS THAT ALL?!

Okada: Oh don't worry peasant, I didn't do what you think I did. I simply made you drink a truth pill.

A truth pill?

Okada: A truth pill is what you think it is. You are forced to answer every question you are asked of.

SH*T.

Okada: Now for the first question, what do you think of me?

Kibe: A narcissistic smart b*tch whose only redeeming trait is her body, or in short, a fapping material who deserves a slap of gender equality.

No regrets.

Okada: Hm... Not surprising especially coming from people like you who see women only as objects. Well, you kept on looking at my breasts and only looked away when I'd look back. I mean, what value do these lumps of meat have?

Kibe: Let me grope them. I'll give them value.

Okada: Have some shame.

Kajiwara: LUSTFUL KOUHAI-KUN!

Okada: But setting aside your scummy personality, I actually wanted to ask you something serious.

Kibe: Fine, let's hear what you have to say.

Probably another scientific fact nonsense.

*She fidgets and blushes*

Stop that, you aren't a cute 2.5d girl.

Okada: Umm... What do you think about yuri?

Huh?

Kibe: Huh?

Okada: A-Answer the question! You like the genre right? Right? I mean, based on statistics, most men do.

Kibe: Don't associate me with your so-called "most men do", I'm a mob character, don't compare me with those higher-ups.

Okada: Don't beat around the bush, answer me.

Kibe: Alright, I'm confessing, men do enjoy the genre but I just can't get into the genre, I don't even get aroused by the idea of it. Besides, what do you get by asking me that? Do you like yaoi?

This is gonna offend viewers of a chosen group.

Okada: Ah, I see me too but to yaoi.

Kibe: So is this gonna boost my stats or something? WAIT. I DON'T HAVE TIME FOR THIS. I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE A LAB ASSISTANT OR LAB PEASANT?!

Okada: Nice choice of words, peasant-kun.

Kibe: Shaddup b*tch. I need to be something of use. Like an actual scientist.

Sando: I don't understand what's your definition of a scientist but if you insist.

Kibe: YES!

*A few minutes later and he is now holding a bunch of books*

Kibe: NO!

Sando: GUYS DOUBLE TIME! WE ARE PASSING THIS THESIS IN TWO WEEKS! KIBE, TOO SLOPPY! TRANSLATE THIS TO MORSE CODE! WE NEED TO ASK FOR HELP.

Kibe: YES SIR!

Kajiwara: Kibe, I want you to research The Miracles of Time by Michael Cooper 3rd edition. Oh and beware, there are two publications, get the one published by Worldly Geographic in 2017.

Kibe: Yes sir.

Okada: Kajiwara-ku-

Kajiwara: Already on first-name basis?

Okada: WE DON'T HAVE TIME! WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE BINARY CODE?

Kajiwara: It looks nice. Oh, and can you finish our website?

Okada: What happened to your Notepad++?

Kajiwara: Hehe my computer slowed down and it crashed so I had to delete it.

Okada: Fine, send it to my email. Now I have to download HTML, CSS, and much more.

Kibe: HEY WHAT DO YOU GUYS AIM FOR?

All three: Hm? We plan to pass this on to expert researchers and be known as the greatest researchers alive.

Kibe: No, what I meant is what are you guys planning on?

All three: Time travel.

Heck no.

*Kibe is leaving the classroom*

Kajiwara: See you soon!

I'm never coming back.

END OF EPISODE 9