I’m an idiot. But at least there’s beer.

So it's the day after we left Cocoyashi village, and in that time a lot has happened. First I gave everyone gifts. Nami got part of the money from Arlong park, as well as some nice surveyor equipment I bought from the store. For some reason it was in the material section. Hopefully that will keep her off my back for a while. Luffy got a weeks worth of jerky. For Usopp I gave him a bunch of cool materials I found. I gave Sanji the high grade kitchen utensils that were stored with the food. And lastly I gave Zorro the best sword I found in the armory and told her we would get some better ones at Loguetown. She also got a decorative kimono that was white with green dragons running along the back and down the sleeves. Which earned me a small grin in response.

Second we partied pretty hard for a few good hours with everyone liking my moonshine, except Luffy, but he doesn't like alcohol in general. Zorro asked if I could oak some of the stuff we made together. Nami wanted some flavored with oranges, no figure. Sanji just wanted a gallon and planed to find something to cook with it. But Usopp had an idea I was fully on board with. He wants some flavored with hazelnut. Now the best moonshine I've drank commercially was a hazelnut and cream that I bought online so I am so down. I wrote their suggestions down so I wouldn't forget them later.

But the best part was when I grabbed the chest out of my ring. Flashback time, hand party moments yay. "Fuck I may actually be going insane." Unfortunately Zorro heard me say that.

"Huh, I thought you knew that already. It's pretty obvious. It's one of the reasons the crew likes you so much." She just smirks at me. 'Damn I thought it was my confident and mysterious presence.' I think while hitting my head on the dining table.

—______________________________________—

It has been a few hours and now that the party is dying down a bit, I feel it would be a good time to open up that chest I found.

"Hey y'all want to have some fun. I found a chest under Arlong's bed and haven't opened it yet. I thought since everyone was busy at the time we could look at it now." I say pulling out a 3x5 foot box from my ring.

"Shishishi, yes sounds like fun. I wonder what will find."

"Of course, the money is mine right."

"Haha, an actual treasure chest. I'll have to tell Kaya when I get a snail."

Sanji gut raises an eyebrow while moving closer.

"Huh, yea sure. What do you think is inside."

"Haha, I don't know, but I hope it's good. Here Captain you open it. You have the best luck here." I say patting him on the back.

"Shishishi yay." She jumps up and rushes to open the chest. "Ehhh" is all he says when he sees what's inside.

Nami being the closest ran to take a look. "Ohh god." She backed away as quick as she could.

I suppose I may as well take a look aswell. And what I see even shocks me. "Damn Arlong is a freak. Like shit, who even likes mermaid tentacle porn." But as I take a closer look, like any cultured man does I see two things that really excite me. "Hahaha this is the best thing we could have gotten. Good job Luffy." Luffy just looks confused, I'll get Sanji to give him the birds and the bees talk later.

"What do you mean you damn pervert. I wanted gold not this weird fish porn." Nami gnashes her teeth at me. Sanji perks up at this. And Zorro just gives me a blank stare.

"Not that you damn witch. These." I say pulling out two fruits. One which I have an idea is but the other is a mystery to me.

"Ohhh Shishishi, those are devil fruits huh. I guess you were right I am lucky." When everyone looked at the fruits in my hand, no one but me noticed when Sanji grabbed a few of the magazines and put them in his coat. Heh blackmail material in the bag.

"Huh, I wonder what they are. If they're any good the crew can use em." Zorro said looking at the blue fruit with snowflakes that sort of resembles a pear.

"I'm not sure about this one but I think it will be something good. So I'm going to store it for now. But the other one I'm pretty sure is the Ute Ute no mi. Which allows the user to turn anything into a gun. Making them a firing human." I say while showing the Ute Ute no mi to Usopp. "I have a way to find out what the other one is but it will take some time. I think this would have been a good fruit for you, but the down side makes it useless in my opinion. Unfortunately it permanently turns the users hands into guns, so I'm sure you wouldn't want it."

"Yea your right, I would have probably eaten it if that wasn't the case. Even though I don't like guns I can't help but think how strong it could be." He says with a frown. To bad it would have probably made him and Sanji about the same level after the time skip.

"Huh, to bad, was there anything other then the fruit and porn in the chest." Zorro asks a question I was dreading.

"I'm not sure, and am too week to try and find out. Usopp im tagging you in go check." I say pushing him towards the abomination that is Arlong's homework folder.

He looked around not seeing any other choice and grabbed a pair of gloves from his belt. Smart thinking. And starts looking. "Ohh I'm gonna throw up. Nothing here, or there. Not not under here either. Yea it's all just porn. Now I'm gonna go take a shower and bleach my eyes." He says walking off and throwing his gloves in the ocean.

"Well since there's nothing else in here help me throw it overboard. I'd burn it instead, but I don't want to hurt the Merry." I look at the chest with disappointment. It could have at least had some variety, but unfortunately it was all the same stuff.

"Shishishi, sure I don't mind but why are all the fish ladies naked with worms all over them. That's kind of weird." He asks with a confused expression, his head turned to the side.

All four of us freeze when we heard that. "Nami, Sanji give him the talk after we're done here. I'd do it but I don't want to scare him." I really don't want to give the talk to Luffy, damn Garp why couldn't he just do it himself.

They both go to argue but stop when they see him reach for a magazine. "Don't touch that Luffy. Just help John get rid of it and me and Nami will tell you a story while you eat a snack." Ohh Sanji you sick bastard. I tip my hat to you good sir. Even Nami looks at him strangely.

It didn't take long for it to be just me and Zorro on the deck drinking. After we threw the chest off the side of the boat they both took Luffy to the kitchen, where his heart will be darkened and he will gain the knowledge of right and wrong. Sanji sure is a evil snake. I bet he's even giving him an apple as we speak. After I cleaned my hands and the fruits off I sit next to Zorro and had a few more drinks.

"Huh, hey John want to show me what you have to do to age this stuff." She asked with a pink face. Ha I knew this stuff was pretty strong.

"Sure, not much else to do, plus we can probably hear Luffy's screams of anguish from the 'Cave.' Plus I can show you how to start a mash while we're at it." I say giving her a grin. Heh, I'm glad someone likes to see the progress, the only other one who has shown interest is Sanji. But he's banned for the rest of the week.

"Alright, I'll be up in just a moment I'll go put my stuff away." She says quickly walking off.

It doesn't take me long to have everything ready, I bought a five gallon charred barrel from the shop as well as some malted barley and rye. Not long after I had set everything up I turned to see Zorro walk in. Heh looks like I was wrong. My drinks are shit, she was just a bit embarrassed I suppose.

When she walked into the room she was wearing the kimono I grabbed for her. She had her short green hair tied up in a small bun, and wasn't wearing any makeup but with the blush she was sporting, she didn't need any. And I'm not gonna lie to ya I'm speechless. I've thought she was pretty since we met, but dressed like this she's gorgeous. She broke the silence when she finally got embarrassed by my stare.

"So are you ready to start. I want to see how you're going to make the moonshine taste like whiskey." She asks moving to sit in her seat beside me.

"Huh. Ohh yea sure. We can start." I was finally able to say after getting my bearings back. Soon after I showed her the oak barrel and explained how it worked. And told her about the way to speed up the process. By heating and cooling it in an artificial setting you can get a few years in just a few days. Afterwards we went on about mixing different grains in the mash and how it effects the taste of the end product.

As the rest of the afternoon drawled away and the both of us heading of to bed I stoped her at the door. "Hey Zorro, you looked absolutely beautiful today. Just wanted to let you know." When she hears that she just gave me a pretty grin and walked to her and Nami's room. And I like any good gentleman, watched as she walked away, before leaving myself. All in all a good night if I say so myself.

—______________________________________—

And that my friends is why I'm currently eating my breakfast as fast as I can. Sanji cooking with blood dripping from his eyes glaring at me. Usopp looking confused as always. My captain dead to the world with every bite he takes falling back in his bowl. And Nami just giving me a knowing smirk. Zorro, she's just eating her food. If it wasn't for the dusting of pink on her cheeks you wouldn't be able to tell she is embarrassed as well.

Now they have my rushing confused for embarrassment, not that I mind, but I'm actually trying to hurry so I can ask my system a few questions. Once I get up to leave and tell everyone goodbye, I hear Nami call out to me from behind.

"See you later Casanova." She says before bursting out laughing. That was the final straw for Sanji as well, falling to his knees weeping to the heavens about how unfair the world is. Heh it's good to have friends.

Anyway when I got to my 'Cave' I called out to my sassy friend. 'Hey system I've got a few questions if you don't mind me asking.'

( Ding ) (Host may ask his questions but there is no guarantee I will have an answer.)

'Nice, okey I'll start with the most obvious one. Do you have any idea what this fruit is. And don't say it's a devil fruit, you know what I'm asking.'

( Ding ) (Host is holding the Hito Hito Mi model Yuki Onna. A rare Mythical Zoan.)

'I have no words for that luck. Damn Luffy is lucky. Ok I have another question. Why haven't I been getting quests?' I am genuinely curious about this one.

( Ding ) (Host has been receiving and completing quests. But the host seems to be too lazy to check.)

'Ohhh. C-could you open my quest log please. Sorry for being a waist of space.' I joke with it, she, him, they? I'll ask it some other time.

( Ding )

(Quests.

Completed ( 7 )

1. Chose your path. (Received reward)

2. Open the starter pack (RR)

3. Kill your first marine (Not claimed)

4. Kill your first pirate (NC)

5. Save your first town 'Orange' (NC)

6. Receive your first bounty (NC basted on # given)

7. Find a devil fruit (NC, Since it's a Zoan, the reward is split between the ability to swim or for the use on an object.) (This choice is only given once)

Ongoing ( 3 )

1. Survive until the end of 'one piece'

Reward- you get to live

2. find a way to save the Merry (pending with multiple options)

Reward- that is the reward you greedy fuck

3. Restart the Vangola Mafia in 'one piece'

Reward- island in the calm belt as a base of operations)

'Fuck me sideways. I should have checked earlier. Ok claim my rewards except for #7 and please tell me how are quests given, as well as explaining the (pending) on the Merry quest.' Man that's a lot of stuff at once.

( Ding )

(Host has redeemed his quests displaying now.

3. Marine hat (corresponding)

4. Pirates cutlass (corresponding)

5. Luck permanently increased by 15%

6. 25 million berries)

( Ding ) (As for the host's inquiries. Quests are either given do to proximity or hidden from the host. For (pending) it means the host has a way(s) to complete the quest.)

'Ohh cool. So I could either store the Merry in my ring or give her a devil fruit huh. Also what's up with the first two rewards their morbid as fuck.'

( Ding ) (Correct host.)

'Correct for what both, just the second. Hey don't ignore me.' As I am left in silence I ponder over all my new stuff to think about and just say "Fuck it. I'll wait till later to deal with it all. I think I'm gonna work on that hazelnut moonshine."

About twenty minutes later Zorro joins me. Well at least the boat rides aren't boring anymore. I do wonder how Luffy is holding up though. But I'll worry about that later, I'm sure he's fine anyway.

(Should I give the fruit to Merry or just put her In the ring after Enies lobby. Either way she won't fall apart like the anime. But I would like your opinion about it. If i do give her the fruit it will probably be during Sky island so there is a while before the decision is made. I'll do a reminder when the time comes up as well.)

(Yes)

(No)