54 Calmer

"OUT! Now!"

I can't believe these two! Fighting in my fucking house over what?! The size of their fucking egos?! Stupid male bullshit! They can both fucking leave now. I don't want to see either of them!

"Mel.." Ethan starts, but I hold up my hand.

"I said, get out now." I glare at them both.

"I don't care what anyone has to say right now." My heart feels like it's being crushed as I spare a glance at Jackson. "Just leave, please."

Even my voice sounds crushed right now.

They both leave and I slam the door shut behind them and lock it. I head upstairs and climb into bed before I break down.

Jackson wants to act like he doesn't know who the fuck I'm talking about. Fine.

I want to know what Ethan said to Jackson though to make him go off on him like that. Jackson gets pissed, but I've never known him to fight anyone except the bullies back when we were kids.

I pull the covers over my head and fall asleep feeling like everything is just wrong and this is all a bad dream.

I'm awoken by hands caressing my face and hair. The touch is familiar making me bat my eyes open. It's dim in the room, the sun is almost completely down from the view I have of the window. I push myself up looking for who was touching my face. I see Jackson laying on the other side of me and I can't help the smile that curls across my lips.

"Mmm... Hey baby." I say groggily, my voice hoarse. Why is my voice so hoarse?

Then the fight comes back to my mind and I sit up and look at Jackson's split lip.

I groan and move to get up but Jackson pauses me with a hand on my back.

"Move slow."

I snap, "I'm not hung over."

He removes his hand, "Melita.. why are you so mad at me? I was not having an affair with that council woman."

I sit up and glare at him, "I'm not talking about her! God, you really want to act naive about hiring fucking Sybil Gray!? She practically rubbed it in my face at the board meeting! How YOUR company MADE her an offer she couldn't refuse!"

Jackson's eyes go wide. "I'm sorry but what the fuck are you talking about?" His eyes are filled with confusion and it seems genuine.

"May I use your phone?" Jackson glances at my phone by the bedside.

"Where's yours?"

"The damn police department dropped it and cracked the screen. I don't have any of my numbers right now, but I can call my lawyer who can give me the numbers I need. Also, Monday I suggest you speak with your HR head and find out why none of my lawyers employees were allowed to contact you this past week. Now, may I please use your phone so I can find out what the... you are talking about?" Jackson catches himself, his anger on a tight leash.

I hand it over to him, "Here." I get up and go to the bathroom and wash my face, preparing myself for this. When I step back out of the bathroom he's scribbling a number down from someone over the phone. Thanking them, he hangs up and starts dialing the number written down.

"Hello, Mark. Yes, this is Jackson Morgan, my phone was returned to me broken. Yes, look I'll talk to you later about that. Right now I am calling from my partners phone." He shakes his head and sighs. "No. I am confused about some information I just received concerning a new hire at the company. One that apparently was offered a job. Name of Sybil Gray. I want to know who offered her the job and what the offer was. ..." He pauses a moment, still facing away from me as it sounds like the other person is talking. "How fucking convenient, it doesn't say who, it just shows someone put her on the payroll?!" 

Jackson takes a calming breath, "Rescind that employment immediately. Find out who the fuck did it and have them in my office Monday morning. Thank you for your help, Mark." He hangs up the phone and runs a hand through his hair in frustration. He takes a deep breath before letting it slowly out. 

I take a seat on the bed, the sound has him spinning slowly to face me. He brings the phone over, handing it back to me, "Thank you." He says as I take it back.

We're quiet, unspoken words hang heavy in the room right now. All I can tell right now about this messed up situation is that it wasn't due to any action of Jackson's directly. Which eased some of my doubts, but there was still a sliver that wanted to be cautious in the back of my mind. I did find my heart was aching for him. He was so close but it still felt like he was far across the ocean. The pain caused by this widening chasm terrified me. I knew if it widened any further, I would lose my balance and fall into the darkest abyss with no hopes of return.

Jackson finally speaks, "I didn't..."

I cut him off, "Please hold me?" My voice sounds worse than when I woke up with it's high and weak sound. I don't care though, because it's Jackson. He's seen me at some of my weakest points in life. 

Something clicks in me.

Jackson would never hurt me the way I attacked him earlier. I know this. My heart knew it. I just wasn't listening.

Jackson is silent, standing before me, reading my face that must be an open book. His own gaze is guarded, but as he reads mine, it softens and he offers me his hands. He pulls me up as I take them and holds me close. I let out the breath I had been holding, my chest now heaving to regain the oxygen my body desperately needed. As I breathed in Jacksons scent I became calmer, my breath calming with his presence. 

"I'm sorry." I whispered. "I know you would never hurt me like that." Jacksons tension eases as he holds me, keeping his cheek against my temple. He lets out a loud sigh, turning his face enough to kiss my head, before returning it to lay against my temple.

"I was hoping you'd come around sooner or later." He says with relief. Those words hurt me though.

"But you think I would hurt you like that?" I lean back, not angry anymore, just hurt.

"Melita.... No. I keep telling you... It's not YOU I don't trust. I don't trust him. Doesn't he know you don't drink much? Why did you have so many today?" 

I sigh exhausted, "He doesn't know that I don't drink hardly ever. It wasn't his fault. I ordered each one of them except for the shot I had with Simon." I think about why I drank the way I did. "I drank because I was enjoying the company of my friends, which was helping to distract me from stressing about you. I only found out about your arrest yesterday after work. I had a fucking shitty day and I needed some kind of relief. It was not intentional."

"What happened yesterday?" He asks me.

"That fucking bitch's aide says she's the one who made the changes using Sybils computer, not as a way to screw the company but as a test to another employee who had boasted. That it was a test and not meant to have been printed for Sybils dinner meeting. Of course this was said after Sybil informed the board she was giving her two week notice in, that your company hired her. When she did that, I asked her if she was leaving like a rat on a sinking ship to escape her intentional sabotage. She denied and accused me of having a chip on my shoulder and was trying to frame her because I was jealous. That fucking ...." My anger was rising again, but I took a breath. "so yes, I had a bad day at work and afterwards is when I found out about your arrest." 

Jackson nods and sighs loudly. That's when I notice the pallor of his skin, his tired, red eyes and the light tremble in his body.

"Jackson, lay down with me. You look exhausted." I pull him towards me and the bed. 

"That sounds perfect." He gives me a light smile and removes his belt from his slacks before climbing into the bed with me. He pulls me into his arms as he leans against the pillows and headboard, gripping me tightly.

I recall kicking him and Ethan out earlier. That had to be around two in the afternoon. I look at the clock and see it's six thirty. 

"Have you been waiting here all day or did you come back?" I ask him.

"I've been waiting here all day. I made sure Ethan left and once he did, I came back inside. I knew you needed to calm down before attempting to talk with you again. Also, I don't have a phone at the moment. My lawyer is getting my screen repaired and I told my driver to head back to the house earlier. I knew I couldn't leave with how it was earlier though. I hated how it was left over the phone earlier this week. It was truly not my intention to be suspected of murder this week." He gives a half hearted chuckle before closing his eyes. "Although I was worried when I first was placed in that cell, that I may never see you again." He keeps his eyes closed and takes in a shaky breath. "Or that you may not want to be with ME anymore."

My heartstrings are pulled and I prop myself up and lay a gentle kiss on his lips. He still flinches from his split, swollen lip, but doesn't pull or push me away. When we pause to take a breath is when he leans back. There is confusion in his eyes and something heavy is still weighing on his mind. 

"Melita. Do you really care for me?" 

His question surprises me, "Yes! Why?"

He sighs and leans back from me. "Let's put yourself in my shoes for a minute. You're out of town, when all of a sudden I tell you how I ran into the woman I lost my virginity to that I still cared about. That she wants to spend time together. How would you feel about that?" 

I think about it and clench my hands into fists. 

"I would trust you to do the right thing." I say firmly.

"Oh really? You would? But how would you feel about it?" He pushes.

"I wouldn't be happy.." I mumble.

"Exactly." He says. "You know what I would have done then?" 

I shake my head.

"I would have done the right thing and told her that it would be great, when you were back in town or told her that I didn't think it would be a good idea. I would have taken your feelings into consideration and made the right choice." He sighs, "But let's say I didn't do that. Let's say you were the one thrown in jail for a crime that you didn't commit, after having a disagreement and when you were cleared and came home... You found her at my home with me. How would you react to it all?"

"Jackson... I don't know... I.." I start to really think about it. Earlier if the roles had been reversed... I would have wanted to beat the crap out of the woman, it would have ended in a huge fight and I know I would have felt like how I felt didn't matter to him. I sit up and face away from him, hanging my head in shame. I really fucked up didn't I? 

"I'm sorry. You're right. I wasn't thinking about your feelings. I was just being selfish and inconsiderate. There's no way I would have put up with it if I were in your shoes." I breathe in and out a few times trying to stay calm. 

"I can't change what I've already done, but I can promise to work on not repeating the same type of mistake. "