Two headed abomination
"Excuse me, er, mister, er, tentacle man."
I know, an excellent introduction for myself, but what else do I call such a monstrosity like him without maintaining an air of even remote politeness? 'Big fish boy'? 'Good sir'? Realistically, I don't think any really fit the briefing. There is simply no good way to describe what bony, pallid creature that rises up before me, or the wreathing mass of tentacles that lash out beneath him in fits of raging hunger- no good name, or association, could possibly do him justice.
Apparently not hearing me the first time, I decide on a whim to risk my life further still, raising my voice to an uncomfortable level as I half shout:
"Excuse me!"
The creature almost drops me in utter surprise.