Chapter 5: Unattainable
Juliet
This is the most fun I’ve had in a long time. I don’t know why I didn’t do this before. As soon as we got to the sorority house, my friend India and I began to party. Her sorority sisters were kind and welcoming─not the bitchy sorority girls I expected them to be. The DJ is up on a large platform nodding her head up and down, her headphones wrapped around her ear as the roaring bass of the music echoes through the room. Sweat slithers down my back, and my hair sticks to my neck like tentacles. We’re all in the middle of the dance-floor, happily dancing and twirling with the rest of the crowd when I see him.
Rowan is here, and flirting with him is none other than the two hottest Kappas─ Becky and Mercedes. My nostrils flare, and my stomach tightens when they wrap their arms around him and rub his chest. He seems to be enjoying the attention, which irritates me more. My teeth grind, and my fists tighten with jealousy. I want to hurt them for touching him, which is stupid because he’s not mine. He has never been mine.
Heart in my throat, I observe him take a seat with a couple of girls.
“Let’s get a drink,” My friend, India, mutters in my ear as she leads me to the drink table.
I met India on the first day of school when she snuck into our art history class. She was just sliding next to me when the teacher called her out for being late, and she said she was there the whole time. When the teacher asked for confirmation, she pointed to me and said to ask me if he didn’t believe her. Of course, I said she was. Since that day, she and I have been friends.
“You like, Rowan?” She whispers in my ear.
Blushing, I take a drink from my cup and discretely look over to where Rowan is. He’s stretched out on the couch with his arms resting on the back. He looks like a king on his throne, and the girls are his servants. Ugh
“I mean, I think he’s hot,” I mumble back.
India rolls her eyes and gestures covertly to where Rowan is. “Why don’t you ask him to dance.”
My eyes widen at her words. “What? No. No way. He’s not interested.”
India quirks a cynical brow. “What? That can’t be true. You’re freaking gorgeous.”
Her words give me a much-needed boost of confidence. “Well, he has never given me the time of day, so I’m just going to move on.”
India wraps an arm around my shoulder and leads me around the room. “It’s funny because you say that he doesn’t like you, but he hasn’t been able to take his eyes off you since you arrived.”
I’m about to turn around and look at him, but before I do, India grips my forearm tightly and whispers. “Don’t look. Just laugh as if I made a joke and throw your head back. You should be able to see him then.” I do as she says. To my shock, Rowan’s eyes are gazing in my direction.
India moves closer and takes my hand, her lip quirked with humor. “I told you. Come on, let me introduce you to one of my friends.”
We walk up to a group of attractive guys who have just walked in. The first one to walk in is a seriously gorgeous dark-haired guy. His eyes are dark, his hair is pulled back into a trendy wave, and his skin is golden. He’s about six feet tall and toned with a scruffy beard. His eyes alight when they land on India and quickly darken sexily when they land on mine.
I swallow hard as his dark eyes run appraisingly across my body. He’s definitely magnetic. Yet, not as mesmerizing as Rowan. “Hey, Niall.” India cries out as she throws herself into the man’s arms. The man lifts her up to her and swings her in place before he settles her back on the ground. “Hey, we came to party with you and your hot friends.”
India pats his shoulder and gestures to me. “Well, I’m glad you’re here, you big jerk. I want you to meet my girl, Jules.”
She waves her hand at me then back at the guy. “Jules, this is my friend, Niall.”
Niall gives me a cocky grin and extends his hand to mine, engulfing it in his larger one. “It’s nice to meet you, Jules.”
He mutters in a husky voice. My skin tingles where he touches it, and to my surprise, he doesn’t release me right away. “So, are you having fun?” He asks.
“Yeah, it’s fun.” I manage to mumble through my gaping lips. India pushes me closer to Niall, nearly toppling me into his arms. “I think she’d have a lot more fun if you danced with her.” My face heats with embarrassment at her words.
However, before I can say another word, Bianca, the sorority president, gets on the microphone and begins to talk. “Hey, everyone, welcome to our Kappa house. To make this party more interesting, my sisters and I have decided that we’d like to play a good old-fashioned game of musical truth or dare. So everyone who’s interested gets in a circle around the room. How it will work is we’re going to throw around a beach ball, and when the music stops, whoever has the ball has to throw it to someone and ask them truth or dare. Remember, guys, nothing too sexual, dangerous, or outside the lines of legality. This is for fun.”
Some of the people groan with disappointment while others cheer on.
Bianca settles her hand on her hip and gives a few of the guys a chiding glare before she continues. “Are you ready?” She asks as one of her sorority sisters hands her the beach ball. “Set…go!” She throws the ball, which gets tossed around as the music plays. It’s actually pretty fun. The music stops, and a girl catches the ball and tosses it to a short blond girl with very short, tight shorts and a nearly translucent tank top. “Truth or Dare, Lindsey?”
Her friend, Lindsey, purses her lips with a glare. “Dare!”
The girl gives her an evil smile before she replies. “Okay, I dare you to drink from this bottle for thirty seconds.”
She offers her a bottle of clear liquid with the Vodka label on it. This should be interesting.
We’re playing for nearly twenty minutes, laughing and drinking when India gets the ball again. My heart pounds in my ear when she looks around the room, gives me a sly look, and passes the ball to Rowan, who quirks a brow and says, dare, in a husky voice.
“Okay, Rowan. I want you to find the hottest girl in this room and show her what a real kiss is. Kiss her for at least a minute.”
Rowan smirks, and to my surprise, turns to me, pulls me into his arms, and kisses me on the lips. It’s the most amazing kiss I’ve ever had. The crowd goes quiet as we kiss. His plump lips are seductive as he glides them across mine and slips his tongue inside. Groaning, I wrap my arms around his neck and nip his tongue. The slow glide of his tongue against mine makes my stomach fall as pleasure engulfs me. We’re about a minute into a kiss when he’s pulled away from me. Dazed, I observe as Rowan gives everyone a smoldering smile and walks away.
Blinking my eyes, I gaze around the crowded room with embarrassment. Thankfully, everyone went back to doing their things as soon as they saw that no action was going to occur.
However, I can’t help my confusion as the night progresses. I don’t know why he kissed me. Was it because he likes me? Or maybe he just reacted without thinking. How depressing is that?
Once again, I find myself on the dance floor. But this time I’m with Niall. His strong hands circle my waist as he pulls me close. He’s so handsome, but all I can think about is Rowan and the kiss.
As we dance, I observe Rowan from the corner of my eye. This time he’s talking to a bunch of frat guys. Yet, his eyes seem to follow me as he continues to talk. My body tenses further. I try not to make eye contact, but it’s difficult.
“Are you alright?” Niall asks in a husky voice.
I don’t know how to respond. I feel like somehow I’m floating in this sadness all of a sudden. I just don’t understand why I can’t let Rowan go.
Pushing back, I bite my lip and mutter. “I…I have to go to the restroom.”
Niall’s lip quirks making me gasp. He has a dimple on his cheek. I love guys with dimples.
Without another word, I make my way up the stairs. Most of the doors are closed, so it takes me a minute to find the restroom.
Looking in the mirror, I scowl at my reflection. My eyes look sad and sullen, and my lips are drawn tight. Pushing back the long strands of my hair, I take a couple of deep breaths. My thoughts riot within me as I continue to rewind back to the kiss. I’m so caught up in my thoughts that I don’t notice the looming presence near the door until his husky voice penetrates the silence.
“Why are you here, Jules?”
My heart stutters in my chest as my eyes snap open and clash with Rowans’ golden ones.
Frowning, I turn back to the mirror and pretend to fix my hair. “As you can see, I’m primping.”
His jaw ticks with some untold emotion. I want to say something, but I don’t know what. I mean, I don’t want to say something stupid.
“What I mean is, why are you here─at this party? This isn’t your scene, good girl. Shouldn’t you be with Amara and Haley doing your nails or something?”
Anger courses through me. I hate that he has this goody-two-shoes perception of me. My hands grip the sides of the counter tightly as I try to maintain some semblance of calm. I don’t want him to see me sweat. “Well, sorry to disappoint you, but my friends have their own lives, and so do I.”
Pushing back from the counter, I gather my handbag and mutter cattily. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’d like to go back to the party and talk to my new friend Niall.”
Rowan’s eyes instantly harden as he blocks the doorway. “You shouldn’t be here, Jules.”
Snorting in reply, I arch a brow and push at his chest. “I don’t think anything I do is your business, Rowan.”
Before I can pull back, he takes my hand from his chest and lifts it to his lips. All of the air in my lungs deflate with every breath against my skin as he glides his luscious lips across my thumb.
“Why did you kiss me?”
I want to slap myself the moment the words leave my lips.
Rowan’s eyes darken as his thumb continues its trek up to my lips and jaw. Pleasurable sensations make my stomach clench as he draws near and rests a gentle kiss on my temple. “She said to kiss the hottest girl in the room.”
My breath hitches with every stroke of his finger. I need to get closer, but I’m wary.
Rowan takes the choice off my hands when he takes my other hand and leads me out of the door. “Let me take you home.”
Biting my lip, I shake my head and stop. “I’m not going home, Rowan. Stop treating me like a child.”
His lips tighten as he turns to face me. “This is not about that, Jules. I just…” He slides his fingers through his hair and paces the floor, frustration clearly riding his movements. “It’s not about that. I don’t think you’re a child.”
He stops in front of me and slides his hands around my waist. “Listen, it’s late, and everyone is pretty much wasted at this point. I’m heading out, and the idea of leaving you’re here bothers me. So please, let me take you home.”
I want to say no, but something in his eyes tells me to say yes. Something in my eyes must show my response because he takes my hand and leads me out the door.
It’s not an uncomfortable silence. As the wind whooshes through the window and the melodious sound of seventies rock music. My heart jolts as the familiarity of the situation rush through my mind. It’s so eerily similar to my dream that I have to pinch myself to make sure that I’m awake.
Biting my lip, I loot at Rowan from the corner of my eyes and nearly choke when I notice that he’s looking at me.
“Are you alright?” His sexy voice breaks through my panic.
“I’m…I-I’m fine.” I manage to stutter out.
His brow furrows as he slides his fingers through his golden locks, maintaining ahold of the steering wheel with the other.
“Are you mad at me for kissing you?” He asks a moment later.
Eyes wide, my head snaps in his direction. His eyes lock with mine, an unsure expression creasing his eyes.
“No, I’m not mad at you,” I mumble. “I just don’t understand why you chose to kiss me, considering you’ve never noticed me before.”
I want to slap myself at that moment. God, can I be needier? Mortification colors my cheeks as I stiffen in my seat and face forward.
To my surprise, Rowan pulls over to the side of the road and turns off the ignition. Taking a deep breath, he slumps back in his seat and faces me. He looks so sexy in the moonlight with his dreamy golden eyes at half-mast and his lusciously gleaming lips. As he looks into my eyes, he takes a couple of deep swallows.
I almost pass out when he extends his hand to me and whispers. “Come here.”
I don’t know what to do. I’m such a spazz. All I can do is stare at his hand. Thankfully, Rowan doesn’t take it as negative. Instead, he leans close, unbuckles my seatbelt, and pulls me into his arms.
I lick my lips as he settles me on his lap. His rock hard body feels so firm and strong beneath my delicate one. A gasp escapes my lips as he slides his fingers up my jaw and pushes a couple of tendrils of my hair behind the shell of my ear. Our hard breaths mingle as we gaze into each other’s eyes, and tingles shoot through my skin with every touch of his fingers against my ear and neck.
“I’ve always noticed you, Jules.” His husky tenor breaks through my reverie as he leans close and places a gentle kiss on my lips. His expression confuses me. I see longing, and I can’t understand why.
Not wanting to break the spell that’s enveloping us at that moment, I angle my head and nip at his full bottom lip. Hissing with pleasure, Rowan pulls me close and slants his lips across mine. Like the kiss from earlier, he takes his time savoring and tasting my lips. Eventually, our tongues meet, followed by our gratified sighs as our mouths connect with blissful glee.
Wrapping my arms around his neck, I shift on his lap until I’m straddling his waist. The seat groans and creaks as we settle into a comfortably arousing position. Rowan’s hand slides around my neck, holding me in place as he eats my mouth. There’s no other way to describe how passionately he’s kissing me. My toes curl with every swirl of his tongue and groan of pleasure that slides from his lips after every suck and nip.
Heat scores inside me as I grind into his swollen zipper. Sliding my hands down, I place my palms against his chest and map out every crevice and peak of his muscled torso.
Seeing that I’m enjoying his touch, Rowan slips his hands behind my back and slides them beneath the hem of my top. The feel of his perfectly masculine fingers against my skin makes goosebumps spread across my back. I close my eyes with pleasure and mewl as his lips kiss down my neck and suck at the velvety skin beneath my ear.
“God, you’re so beautiful.” He mutters breathlessly.
I bite my lower lip as his tongue laps at my lobe. Arching my back, I moan and move closer, enjoying the blissful zings that thrum across my body. My breasts feel heavy, and my nipples bead as I continue to ride his groin. I feel like I’m swimming in a sea of pleasurable sensations. It makes me wish that we were both naked. I want to feel his skin against mine. It’s a perfect moment that is quickly shattered by the sound of my ringing phone.
Startled by the sound, Rowan and I both break apart. Chests heaving, we look at my ringing phone.
I’m about to suggest we forget about it, but then I notice my dad’s name on the screen.
“Oh, shit!” I jump off his lap and take my phone. “Shit, it’s my dad.”
Rowan releases a couple of deep breaths and gestures to the phone. “Answer it.”
A ball of dread settles in my stomach as I consider why my dad is calling. I don’t want to answer, but I know that he’ll get angrier.
Swallowing down my dread, I press and answer and settle the phone against my ear. “Dad─”
“Juliet, where are you? You were supposed to be here for the dinner party.”
My eyes widen with panic. “Oh, yeah.” I look at Rowan, who is gazing steadily at me. “Sorry, I was at the library. I’m…I’m on my way.” I disconnect the call before he can ream me out.
I fix my clothes as I gather my things and try not to make eye contact. Now that we’re no longer making out, I feel mortified. I’ve never experienced anything like this before. The way we kissed and touched was amazing. But now I’m scared that he’s going to realize he made a mistake.
“I have to go.” I manage to sputter out in my hurry.
Rowan doesn’t respond for a moment. However, I can feel his intense gaze like a caress. “Alright.” He mumbles with a sigh.
It doesn’t take me long to get home that night. Yet, I feel like it takes forever. As we get nearer, I notice that the main lights on the first floor are lit up. My head pounds as dredges of pain begin to shoot through my brain. Jaw tight, I look out the passenger window with trepidation. I really don’t want to go in there.
This is the first time in years since my dad has thrown one of his parties. But I still remember the disdainful stares of his colleagues every time their eyes landed on me. I hate how they look at me.
“You don’t need to go in there.” Rowan breaks through my thoughts. I must project my dread pretty clearly for him to make the statement. Geez, I’m so transparent.
“I’ll be fine,” I say as I open the door.
Before I can slip out, his large hand wraps around my wrist. “Wait…”
The feel of his fingers brings me back to the pleasure zone instantly. Turning back, I face his beautiful golden eyes. “W-what?”
His expression is so tender that I almost forget to breathe at that moment. “We can go back to my place if you don’t want to go in.”
My breath hitches at his sincere invitation. For a moment, I consider taking him up on his offer. But I know that if I do, I’m only preventing the inevitable. I’ll just anger my dad more than I already have, and I can’t deal with that right now. “I’m fine, but thanks.”
His jaw pops as he glances past me to the house. “Alright, then. I guess we can talk some other time.”
I don’t respond because I don’t know how to. I’m too scared to know what he means when he says talk.
Thankfully, the dinner party is in full swing by the time I get in, which means my dad can’t scream at me. He simply meets me at the door with a scowl and stiffly tells me to change my clothes and come back down.
As predicted, the rest of the night is horrible. This time my dad’s colleagues are more blatant in their disdain. The only thing that keeps me going is the memory of Rowan’s kiss.
I’m finally about to get in bed when my vision begins to waver. Fear crawls through my body when the cry resounds in my mind. I look around the quiet, but no one is in my room. As I stand there frozen in panic, I can’t help but think about my recurring nightmare.
The cry rebounds again, then cuts off. I don’t know why, but instead of running away from the sound, I’m ensnared by it. My vision hazes, and my body tightens. I’m no longer crying. I no longer feel like myself. My breathing quickens, and my chest heaves as I make my way to the source of the cry.
Needing the comforting touch of something, I reach for my bracelet. Once again, I find that the warm metal is making my skin feel raw. It’s odd because I no longer feel the warmth I’ve felt when I’ve touched it in the past.
My body tightens as my feet begin to move, and my mind is set on its mission. It's like I’m being pulled by a rope. And even though I try to force my body to turn back, it won’t listen. I’m no longer in control of my faculties.
Fear turns into horror when my vision and hearing heighten. Shocked, I look around the now bright woods. I could see everything and hear everything like if I was walking through the woods on a bright sunny day, which makes no sense because I know it’s late into the night.
Heart pounding, I look down at my body and cry out when I see another blade in my hand. Where the hell did that come from? Am I dreaming? I think to myself as my steps speed up, and I begin to run. I’m jumping across large boulders and fallen trees like a gold medal Olympian at this point. As I make my way through the woods like a stalking lion, I can’t stop thinking to myself. This is not normal. It has to be a dream. But I know it’s not a dream. A loud growl bursts nearby, making my body come to an instant stop. Looking at the gleaming blade, I expertly twirl it around my fingers and search the area until I hear a faint female whimper.
Lying a few feet in front of me is a female crying and whimpering in pain as she crawls away from what looks like a Frankenstein monster. There’s no better way to describe the creature’s grotesque patchwork features and skeletal body. Its face looks somewhat human, except for its red glowing eyes, and its pale blue body looks like leather skin sewn together.
Its bloody mouth is open with long sharp fangs, and its nose is almost like a snout.
The girl moans again, struggling to slink away, but she’s too scared to get very far. The creature is about to stab her heaving back when I take over. Rushing forward, I flip on the ground and kick the creature on the face.
Surprised, the creature stumbles back on its feet and releases a loud screeching roar. Using my knife, I slash at its chest then punch it in the face a couple of times. The creature lunges its clawed hands at me, but I parry his move, sever his claws, do a twist over its back and stab it in the neck. The creature cries out in pain and swats me across the chest hard before it falls to his knees on the floor.
My body crashes hard against a nearby tree. The hit was so hard that I should have broken my back, but I’m fine. Rolling forward, I rise to my feet and face the writhing creature before removing the knife from its neck and stab it on the back of its head. The creature flinches with my strikes, crying and shifting to dislodge me, but I kick it in the head and stab it with a death blow. That’s when its flailing body crashes to the ground, dead.
Taking a step away from the creature’s lifeless body, I take a couple of deep breaths and look back at the girl. I’m stunned. I don’t know what I just did. I don’t even know how to fight. How is it possible that I went all Jackie Chan on that monster? Where the hell did the blade come from? I’m beyond stunned at this point.
Not wanting to think any more about it, I walk to the girl and gently turn her onto her back. I recognize her instantly. Her name is Sandra. She’s in one of my classes. Thankfully, her eyes are closed, but she’s still breathing, and her wounds seem to be shallow. Her face is scratched, and her leg is abraded, but it’s nothing she won’t recover from. She’s dressed in nearly revealing clothing, and there’s a red solo cup near her. She must have been in one of the parties. Hopefully, she’s drunk enough that she’ll think she stumbled home.
Somehow, I find the strength to lift her. Actually, it’s surprisingly easy to carry her, considering that she’s six inches taller than me. As carefully as I can, I carry her back to her dorm. I remember she told me where she was staying when I complained about my living situation. Thankfully, her place is empty, and it’s easy to find her room using the directory.
I don’t waste another moment laying her on her bed and leaving.
Unfortunately, I don’t get much sleep that night. My head pounds, and I spend most of the night staring at the ceiling. As I rub my fingers across my bracelet, I think about what just occurred. I killed a monster, and I was able to produce knives from thin air. That is not normal.
On the next morning, I resign myself to leave things as they are. In fact, I’m so concerned about what is going on with me that I don’t even worry about what happened between Rowan and me. At some point, I know I have to speak to someone about what’s going on with me because there’s no way that I’m okay. Not with how I fought last night or how my body reacted. No normal human should be able to hear and see the way I do. Could it be that something more happened to me that night?
I don’t know what to do, so I grab my bag and head to the library. I have to do some research, or I’m going to go crazy.