A Calamity-Grade Witch

Thud! Montana's body was like deadweight that fell from behind the woman who was uncomfortably casual with her driving. If anything, Montana had screamed a thousand times and died ten less while keeping all of his sounds to himself. It was like a roller coaster with several one-kilometer drops.

Laquisha gracefully got off of her bike and kicked Montana to wake him up. "Child, get up. We don't have time to dilly-dally."

"Can I ride my hellhound next time?" Montana couldn't even speak loud enough for her to hear. When he got to his knees, his stomach gave up and forced him to throw up all the delicious soup he had in the lodging camp.

Caliga could only lick his cheek, but he was denied. Montana knew that his evil boy might end up licking his puke instead.

The man got to his feet with Caliga's help and looked around the supposed meeting place. It was a mansion hidden inside what seemed to be a cave. The opening from the top gave a good view of the sky, illuminating the place. What made him gasp in awe was that the cave walls were decorated with diamonds and other precious stones and vines.

"Where are we?"

"My house."

"This is your house?!" Montana gasped louder and had his eyes twinkling in its beauty. The whole house looked very expensive, and the environment did scream 'she wealthy' all over. Then again, why was her house situated inside a cave?

Laquisha opened the door and walked in, leaving the panel open for Montana and the unseen Caliga. The whole mansion was like a castle made of diamonds that Montana's eyes were either blinded by the light or the price tags.

She led him to the waiting room and sat down, juice and biscuits already on the table. "Sit down."

"Me… Mephisto said you'd help me…" Montana couldn't help but look around. All the things in her house screamed 'you poor' at the salaryman. Maybe, if he started stealing and embezzling the company for ten years, he would rake in enough money to build the waiting room.

"Yeah. I don't think you're very ready, though. If you need to get in for real, you gotta drop the… the… that." She gestured to all of Montana. "Even your name isn't scary… or cool."

"…what exactly are we doing?"

"We will kill people."

Montana then frowned. Killing wantonly wasn't something he wanted to do. He wanted to get rid of the witches of Satan because of their tendency to destroy lives. It was some kind of secondhand social justice that he wanted as an excuse for his personal revenge.

He then shook his head. "I don't want to kill innocent people."

"Relax. My targets are normally bad men exercising their power against the poor." She laughed. "It's easier to kill a tycoon than a man loved by the people. The best fighters are of the good side normally after all."

"…what do you get in return?"

"I get paid through diamonds, baby. Ain't got no time for cash or credit."

A head tilt was his only answer. Then, he realized that this woman… might be a witch as well. He then took in some air and shifted to his proper posture. "Can you tell me if you're a… if you're a witch?"

Laquisha hummed as she played the diamond watch she picked up from the side while enjoying her juice. "Aren't we both witches? Didn't Mephisto tell you? Oh, wait, scratch that. That man never explained things properly. Let me do the honors then.

"My name is Laquisha Gray, and people outside these walls call me the Greyhound. In a few words, I am an assassin paid with only diamonds. Moreover, I'm a senior witch on my third cycle so… I end up accepting weird shit from Mephisto."

"Third cycle?"

"I only look young, but I have been in the witch business for around thirty years now. The thing between us is that if I successfully turned you into a calamity-grade witch, I get my fourth cycle… and my riches will continue to flourish.

"It's hard to be a witch of Mammon, ya know, but…"—she leaned closer and squinted her sharp eyes at Montana—"it's way harder to change a witch of Belphegor. You do realize that Belphegor would never want you to succeed, right?

"All this show and fake support will only drown you in the end."

Only a small bitter smile curled his lips as a response. "Probably, but I already sealed the contract. Might as well make the most of it."

Laquisha immediately slammed the table with her fist. "That's not the proper way to behave if you want to be strong enough to hunt Satan's imbeciles! You should reach out for power and grasp it in your hands. Let blood and tears flood the streets in your wake!"

"…uh… okay…"

She then massaged her forehead with the bumps of her diamond watch. "I knew it. When Mephisto told me Mammon will give me my fourth cycle for free, I knew it would be troublesome. Anyway, I do not have anything else to give so… might as well rely on you."

Laquisha took a few glances at Montana. "But you… a calamity-grade? I might as well name myself the next queen of America."

"I really wanted to teach them a lesson." Montana stared at her disappointed demeanor. "I know I'm not a good investment, but Mephisto promised me that he'd help alongside you. I see no problem if you take a chance on me."

"Heh, Mephisto? Really? Did no one ever tell you not to believe everything he says? He's the origin of the lying devil." Laquisha shook her head.

"How am I supposed to know which one not to believe?" Montana then smiled warmly. "He said he'll help me, and he found and convinced you. He told me you'd be here to help me, and you showed up. I don't see a reason for me not to believe him…"

The woman only did a hum of denial. She then shrugged her shoulders. "Oh, well. I'm only warning you; whether Mephisto likes you enough not to lie to you or not isn't my problem anymore."

She then leaned back against her chair. "Listen… Montana… gosh, let's change your name first. Not only was it known all over the country, but it's also not enough to make a lonely wife shiver." A hum followed as she rapped her finger against the arm chair. "Do you mind biblical names?"

"Wouldn't it be ironic? I'm a witch…"

"No one else knows that. Moreover, it's taboo to say things like that unless you're speaking with other witches." Laquisha chuckled as she smiled. "Let's see… what name should I give you to make it more impactful? Isaiah? Moses?"

Montana vehemently shook his head. He had a feeling that he would be defiling those names if he wore any of them. At least he should pick one which would suit a good quality of a trashy man like him.

That was when he laid his eyes on Caliga, and the dog perked its ears at the eye contact with his new master. Montana then curled his lips for a slight smile.

"Noah. I'll go with that."

���Noah, the ark builder? What are you planning to house?" Laquisha laughed out, but her laughter ran out when Montana answered her with a deeper smile. "Hellhounds, maybe?"

"Get out of here." She took a pillow and tossed it at Montana, which he just caught readily. The woman only sighed and massaged her forehead, but there was a shadow of a smile on her lips. "Okay, Noah… let's get down to business… but it's not about defeating the Huns. It's about defeating the wimpy you.

"Do you think you can have a makeover in a month?"

Montana looked straight into her eyes. One month could turn him into something else? However, he didn't have many traits that he didn't want to let go of. He really didn't want to change that much, but he knew…

Without letting go of his old habits, he would never be able to get even.

Even if he wasn't convinced that his natural self would be able to have a 180-degree change, he nodded as if he could assure Laquisha of his decision.

"That's not really convincing…"

"I—"

Vroom! Revving engine echoed outside the cave, and the sound just traveled through the cavity enough for them to hear. Laquisha frowned and got to her feet to see what was happening outside. Actually, she had an idea. She left the house and walked to the mouth of the cave, with Montana following her closely behind.

Outside, there was a group of men waiting for them. The man only had a grin on his face as he pushed his shades to the top of his head and whistled. "Laquisha, how are you, baby?"

"You came to be rejected again?" The woman snorted, but her sharp eyes glided among the whole dozen other people. "You think your friends could help convince me?"

"Of course, we do." The man laughed out, but the men only drew out guns and blades as their weapons. "Why don't we play strip poker, girl?"

"Strip yourself and eat shit." Laquisha only had her gun with her, but that didn't mean she could evade all of their attacks. It would take time before her familiar would be able to come rescue her.

It's just that… Montana stepped in front of her. He then let out a breath and lifted his chin mightily at them. "Leave before you lose your lives."

The men only looked at each other and laughed at him. One of the men then got off of his bike and walked towards Montana, calling his bluff. "You got balls, lady boy? Why don't you hit me here, ah?!" He gestured to his crotch with his palms. "Hit me!"

Laquisha didn't know what was happening, but she only felt wind blew on her face as Montana quickly lunged at the man who was challenging him. His left hand were positioned like the fingers were all clawed, and he swiped it down at the man's body.

He was approximately half-a-meter away from the man, but the thug's body was torn into three.

Blood splattered on Montana and on the ground before he smiled maniacally at them. "How funny. I do like hitting people."