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The World seems Realistic but Why do I have a Leveling System?

Tác giả: MinxMean
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Tóm tắt

Sheila is an average girl who likes to play video games and watch animes in her free time. If there’s anything that stood out from her, that would be her beautiful appearance. Due to spending too much time playing video games till late at night, she would usually forget to do her homework which she would, later on, asked her best friend, Ria, for help. A total average gamer-otaku girl. Like any other day, Sheila was walking her way to school when suddenly the phone in her pocket vibrates. She pulled it out of her pocket to check with the expectation of seeing a new message, but the result was something that would change her entire life completely upside down. Leveling System, it was a mysterious app which suddenly appeared inside her phone. By using it, she could level up like the character in the game and become stronger. But what would an average girl do by becoming stronger? Not expecting to fight anything absurd in her daily life, Sheila slowly adapts to her new life of leveling up inside an instant dungeon. But out of nowhere, A goblin appeared in front of her somewhere in the alleyways. Where did it come from? Not knowing anything, Sheila ended up killing it. That night, She woke up to a nightmare where the world turned chaotic as monsters run rampage everywhere, it was a world where a weak human life was nothing but garbage, a world where strong prey the weak. She believes it was a premonition of what her future would be if she does nothing. Will she stand up and take responsibly to fight for others? Or would she be selfish and only fight for her loved ones? The fate of the entire world is on her hand. Her decision will decide the outcome of everything. *** Important note: English is not my first language, so do expect to see a grammatic error and if you're such a kind and big heart person and would willing to help, feel free do so as I appreciated any sort of support. I'm also a new author who only wrote the story because purely for my own pleasure. Be warn though as the story progress and development is very slow. I started writing this story out of spit of not having anything interesting to read, do expect some cliche since this author likes it. *** [UPDATED!]The characters design followed by tiny bits information(Be warn as it would be a spoiler to the new readers!): http://imgur.com/gallery/twsIaJe If you like the story, please give some power stone, any will be appreciated! Credit to the artist, I just simply edit to fit the book cover; https://picrew.me/image_maker/234517 *** Discord: https://discord.gg/2JMqZ3e Support me: Send me a cup of coffee: Ko-fi/minxmean Patreon: patreon.com/NEETGuy

Thẻ
5 thẻ
Chapter 1Suspicious and Unknown App

Ring Ring Ring!

Within a single and quiet room, an alarm suddenly started ringing as the faint sunlight could be seen peeking from the covered window. As the alarm continued ringing, the girl on the bed took a while to respond before twitching, and slowly, a listless soft-looking hand appears from underneath the blanket as it grabbed onto the clock on the table near the bed and turned it off as silence returned to the room.

The girl holding still onto the blanket finally opened her beautiful eyelid that's covering the normal-looking chocolate brown eyes before gazing blankly in the air and finally stopped at the clock, which showed the time was 06:01 AM. The girl finally stood up but not before rubbing her sleepy eyes while complaining the unfairness in her life on the way to the bathroom.

"I'm still sleepy... I still didn't have enough sleep. School should just disappear from Earth for all I care..."

Her steps to the bathroom were very slow and sluggish, and when she comes to her senses, she was already submerged half of her naked body into the warm bathtub. The girl seems to be enjoying her warm bath as one could see a satisfied expression on her face; she couldn't help but release a sigh and said.

"Ah~ This is the blessing of life."

It didn't take her long as the sleepiness was washed away along with the bit of dirtiness off her body. After about 20 minutes have passed, the girl left the bathroom with bathrobe covering her body from the chest to the upper thighs. As the girl walked toward the mirror, one could see bits of leftover waters that have not been wiped fully around her neck as it dripped down, slowly fell around the middle of the mountain, and disappeared.

When the girl sat in front of the mirror, she immediately turned on the hairdryer and aimed it towards her wet silky black hair. It took the girl around 10 minutes for her to fully prepared herself, and suddenly she could hear a shout coming from downstairs.

"Sheila! Come eat your breakfast, or you will be late for school!"

"I'm coming, Mom!"

Sheila replied before picking up the bag on the floor near a table and unzip it as she looked inside the bag one last time, making sure she didn't miss anything before heading downstairs.

Tap Tap Tap!

When Sheila arrived in the kitchen, she saw a mature-looking woman with identical silky black hair like her, wearing a pink apron putting the food on the dining table. When the woman noticed her presence, she smiled before opening her mouth and said.

"You're finally here, now hurry and go wash your hands."

Sheila nodded her head in response and headed toward the faucet to wash her hands clean before sitting on the chair at the dining table. Her eyes gleamed when Sheila saw that today's breakfast is actually pancakes covered in honey. If this had been a 2D world, Sheila would have been drooling nonstop. In a hurry, Sheila picked up the fork before slowly savoring the pancakes and the sweet honey taste in her mouth.

"Yum! So delicious~."

Sara couldn't help but put a doting smile on her face at her daughter's flattering words as she watched the latter eating in relish. Noticing that her mother was staring at her, Sheila stopped for a moment and said.

"Don't just watch, you should eat too, Mom!"

"Yes, yes, I will."

Sara replied to her daughter as she followed up by eating, though she couldn't stop herself from occasionally staring at her daughter. Because Sara was eating slowly, Sheila had already finished hers before getting up and headed to the faucet to wash her mouth. But before she left the house, Sheila didn't forget to bid farewell to her mother.

"I'm leaving first, Mom!"

"Sure, go on. Watch out on your way to school, okay?"

"I got it!"

...

Ding!

While Sheila was on the way to school, her steps come to a stop when she heard a notification sound from her phone as she pulled out the phone inside her pocket. After unlocking the phone by inserting the password, Sheila immediately browses with the expectation to see a new unread message but only to frowned when she found nothing. Sheila looked up before proceed to looked around her surroundings, searching for another presence, but no soul could be seen as she was the only one who walked along the peaceful street. Not finding what she was looking for, Sheil frowned deepen, but it turned into a shock when she looked at the screen on her phone.

There was a new application with an icon that looks straight out of the RPG game sitting near the gallery app on the homescreen. As far as she remembers, Sheila didn't download any games yesternight before she went to sleep. She had spent most of her time till late at night playing videogames, and so her mobile phone should have been sitting quietly at the table near her PC. Her finger unconsciously moved toward the icon, but Sheila managed to control herself from pressing onto the unidentified app. She still didn't know how it got into her phone; it's also possible it was a virus that makes her cautious around it.

But the curiosity gets to her as her finger slowly pressed onto the game-like icon. But before that, Sheila was already prepared as she had backup all the important files to an online site, in case it ended up being a virus. Once her finger clicked on the app, the screen of the phone turned dark, and while she was feeling anxious as if the darkness from within the screen is trying to suck her into it, a sudden wall of texts appeared.

『 Welcome, NewUser.

Please hold on for a few minutes...

Eyes, Checked.

Facial, Checked.

Soul, Checked.

Processing to binding the system to the host...10%…50%...80%...Completed. 』

『 Welcome to the Leveling System! 』

"What?"

Looking at the welcome notification on the screen of her phone, Sheila was left dumbfounded.

...

While the teacher was busy teaching on the front, most of the students were 'earnestly' listening to the subject, but not all of them could keep up with it. Among those groups, Sheila was currently having headaches and couldn't keep her eyes off the screen of her phone. After she was notified about the whole welcome thing, she had put the phone in her pocket and walked toward the school while deep in thought.

Is it a new type of promotion game? Sheila thought inside her mind. When she reached the classroom, Sheila give her greeting to her best friend before moving on to her seat. When she saw that no one keep their eyes on her, Sheila pulled out the phone from her pocket and hide it by leaving the book standing as she put her chin on the table and browse her phone, from the viewpoint of others, Sheila looked like she was reading a book in a lazy manner.

Sheila knows not if the app was a new way of promotion of a game or something else entirely; the only thing she could is to check the app herself before figuring out what it is. But one thing that keeps her being on alert is that, Sheila didn't remember when did she ever install the app. She had never seen such app in her phone before, not until today that is. Before she clicked on the app, Sheila went to the Mobile Store where it stored all sorts of apps in there and tried searching of anything with 'Leveling System,' the end result was disappointment as nothing come up other than MMORPGs. But that will be explain later on.

After her research ended up only wasting her time, Sheila ended up clicking on the unknown app that has no name with an icon that seems straight out of RPGs. Again, she was greeted by the same welcome message, but when she scroll up the screen with her finger, she finally saw something new.

『 Welcome to Leveling System!

Host Status: Unlocked!

Quest: Unlocked!

Inventory: (Locked)

Shop : (Locked)

Lottery : (Locked) 』

None of them make sense to her, but one thing that she knows is that the <Host Status> and <Quest > function seems to be unlocked while the other is gray out as locked. As a gamer girl, Sheila understood what the status, quest, well everything in there; she knows what it means. Although Sheila was still on high alert, she still want to know what will show up when she clicked on the <Host Status>.

The reality told her to not go further while her gaming sense was flickering intensely when her eyes saw it for the first time; She is conflicted about what should she do in this situation. But it didn't take long before her gaming sense overwhelming everything as her finger clicked on the <Host Status>.

What she saw next caused her to feel even more dumbfounded.

『 Host: Sheila

Age: 17

Title: Gamer Girl(Self-proclaimed)

Level: 0

EXP: 0/10

HP: 20/20 MP: 30/30

STR: 3 ( Even weaker than the average girl.)

INT: 6 ( Pretty smart for an average girl.)

AGI: 3 ( Even slower than a turtle.)

VIT: 4 ( Average for an average girl.)

LUCK: 10 ( Seems to be blessed by the Goddess of Luck.)

AP: 0

Detail: An average useless girl who has weak stamina and strength but has a brain that is only used for gaming. 』

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Nyanodesu
NyanodesuLv13

Sigh. I went into this novel with high hopes, but returned feeling despondent. One of my favorite things to read about are leveling systems, and I don't mind the occasional girls' love, but the things that really killed this book for me was the grammar and the huge gaps in logic. Honestly, I don't know what to say. The grammar isn't as bad as on some of the other books on this site, but that doesn't detract from how atrocious it is in the slightest. Maybe it gets better later on, but if the grammar was the only thing wrong, then I wouldn't be dropping this so soon. No, what's really wrong is the ****e character design, sloppy story development, lazy world background, and the dumb logic the author uses. Fifteen chapters in, and we basically know nothing about the world, other than the fact that there is a school, some companies, her home, and the fact that it's set in a modern information age. That's it. Not horrible, just a bit lazy. The story development so far is boring. That's the only word I can use to describe it. The leveling system takes a bit of time to get started, I get it, but currently the author is adding some 'young master straight out of a xianxia gets offended' sub-plot, which really just made me want to die. Not because of the premise, nor the cliche, but because of how fucking badly it's done, and how forced it feels. Like really? A young company heir with a net worth of 10 mil can't even hire any subordinates, and has to do the dirty work himself? Then he gets offended when he can't successfully kidnap someone? Talk about forced logic. Then comes the hail mary, the holy fucking grail, the character design. Oh boy. We're made to believe that the protagonist is just your average gamer girl, but is that all she is? Oh no, she's also a warrior, a survivor. After surviving in the forest for 6 hours while hunting slimes, she became strong. Then, upon hearing about people wanting to kidnap her (because of her super opop senses that she got from kicking some slime ass ofc) she walks them into an alley (ok, we can make a stretch and say that she got overconfident after beating up some slimes), and then she proceeds to actually beat down two fully grown men. Yes, her stats are high, but that doesn't mean she can knock out a trained professional(lmao jk it was just some stupid fucking company heir that doesn't even have a developed enough brain to even THINK about hiring trained fucking professionals to do his dirty work). Then, after beating them up, she proceeds to strip them half-naked and take pictures instead of calling the police, such a normal thing for a normal gamer girl to do, right? Also, the author makes the mc metagame(mc's sixth sense) by referencing 'I alone level up' when there was nothing pointing towards the system having such mechanics. The author does update pretty regularly though, I'll give him that. Overall, I can't read one paragraph without thinking "God, that's fucking dumb". But hey, that's just my opinion, I'm sure that non native English speakers who haven't passed third grade English classes and people who don't mind reading braindead novels for fun would enjoy this. It's just not something for me. Writing Quality 1/5 (Yeah, not for grammar nazis, or anyone with a modicum of self respect) Stability of Updates 4/5 (Only part of this novel that is good) Story Development 3/5 (Gets a pass because system novels are normally slow) Character Design 1/5 (Again, fucking atrocious) World Background 3/5 (Lazy) Sorry about the harsh review, but I really can't put it in a nicer way, even after trying a few times. That's just how much I dislike the book. If you want some constructive criticism, then I'll give you some things you can do to make it a bit more bearable to read. First, find a better editor, preferably a native English speaker. Second, go over and revise your old chapters to make sure that what's happening makes sense from a normal persons point of view. You don't become badass just from killing a few slimes for 6 hours. It just doesn't happen. You also can't accurately hit a moving target with no prior training while using a weapon. It just doesn't happen. Your main character is a gamer girl. Remember to always run a scene through the perspective of your main character, not through your own. Also make sure that your writing stays true to the personality of the characters you write about. A gamer doesn't go from having no social life and no training to being a badass pussy slayer that can slaughter entire nations without the blink of an eye. It just doesn't happen. That's about all I can give you with what little I could stomach to read.

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