16| ashes

L E V I N E

Imagine being in a cell with your own enemy.

Trust me it was fucking great, we were chatting like we never fought. Okay, ending this sarcasm right now- it was hell.

"Levine Arnaud,"

"Amber what what," I stare at her blankly and she rolls her eyes. "Can you stop being a bitch?"

"Can you stop being a child?"

"Can you just listen to me?"

"And why the hell would I do that?" I ask, rolling my eyes this time. "Because- Levine, I'm sorry,"

I laughed.

Funny.

"I'm sorry I turned out to bitch to you, I'm sorry I suddenly changed. I'm sorry for ruining our friendship. There's not a day that goes by that I don't think back to everything."

"Cute," I praised her. "You almost got me to believe you there- but I remembered my mom always telling me that people don't change over night. And certainly, not you."

"Levine-"

"I trusted you with my own damn life. That friendship that we had, 5 years ago if I'm not mistaken- it's gone. It's ashes now. It's nothing but dust. And I don't recall any fucking thing, reviving ashes. Because that's what they simply are- ashes. So that girl who loved you and trusted you- is no longer there. I don't believe in second chances, and you being my once old friend- should know that. I'd appreciate it if you stopped rekindling things- cause it'll never, ever be the same. There's many reasons why I don't give out second chances, let me name a few since I've got nothing else to do. Reason number one, is that they'll repeat the same mistake or they'll do something worse to hurt you even more. Fool me once, it's on you. Fool me twice, I'm the fool. Reason number- two, is actually a very important question. If I've given you a chance to you before, why the fuck did you ruin it? I think that's enough now isn't it?"

She doesn't say anything and that gives me a clear answer. "That's what I thought," I purse my lips and sit back. We sat down in silence as she stares at the ground like it was the most interesting ever. "I know," her voice comes out soft. "I know I'm stupid to even try because I know you wouldn't even give me a chance. But I didn't wanna live with any regrets, Levine. I didn't want to let my pride get the better of me, when I don't even know what tomorrow holds. I just had to come face to face with this situation I had put myself in- and have the guts to actually apologize to you. I'm sorry. I know you may not have forgiven me now, but I'll live better with your forgiveness,"

Her words meant nothing to me.

Words. That's just what they were, just words. Everything she said didn't at all have an affect on me. They didn't hurt, they never made me feel, they no longer make me question, it was just that. Just nothing.

I remember like it was yesterday when I was gushing over this crush I had.

It just had to be somebody I liked.

She knew how I felt. She knew exactly how I felt about him. He was the first person I'd ever truly and genuinely liked that way. It was last well of school and I he and I had already spoken.

I told her everything I was gonna say and when I was going to do it.

[Flashback]

I fiddled with my fingers and I exhaled. Tilting my head, I muttered motivating things to myself.

I knew I could do it.

And I was going to do it.

I push through the class doors, and walk my way towards his locker. I see him from afar distance and I can tell his doing something. Like talking with someone.

I was about to turn back but I remember this was my only chance. With a deep breath, I make my way towards him and as if my eyes had betrayed me, I see a strand of purple hair and her laugh.

A very familiar one.

I frown, walking even closer. My heart is beating out of my chest as I get closer and closer. My sweaty palms come together as I gulp.

From hearing her laugh, to see her lips on his, my heart shatters. "A-Amber?"

"David?" He breaks their kiss and his eyes land on me. Guilt rushes through them and I take a step back as he tries to reach for my hand. A shiver runs down my spine and I feel so betrayed.

"Liv-"

"You knew," I whisper. My hand shaking. "You fucking knew," I stare at her in utter disbelief.

I take a step back. "Levine wait,"

I suddenly feel so heavy, so betrayed. I turn around and the hot tears flow.

It was the fact that she acted like she supported me. She let me see that. She wanted me to see it. She knew exactly how I felt.

She lied to me.

She betrayed me.

She made me believe in a lie...

And I fell for it.

[end Flashback]

"I'm sorry,"

"Sorry is not a trolley, traitor,"