CHAPTER 47: NOW

After walking outside from Funky's glare in the 'only stuff' washroom, I directed myself to the ward where the boy Shane was; it was even hard for me to call him my son. They had already transferred him, the bed already neatly arranged, as if nothing had happened some minutes back.

"Doctor Levin!" I heard Doctor Heung call from behind me, so I turned to face him as I closed the curtain that I had slightly opened to see if the boy was still there.

"Yes, Doc," I stated as he neared me. With him was his bag, meaning he was heading home.

"Tell the patient's family, and by morning, make sure you have compiled the reports of the boy. Additionally, there is another patient who has just arrived," he gave me the things to do for the night, in addition to other patients who have just been brought forward for us to aid. However, the biggest task was not even about the others; it was how I would deliver the news to Kate and Funky.

That was all I was thinking. I don't know what anyone in my position would do, but this is what my brain was just telling me to do.

As of now, it directed me to go to my office, where Funky and Kate were.

I was not listening to my heart; it sure was breaking and bleeding profusely. Bleeding not because it had physically been hurt, but because so much compelled me. So much weight was kept on my shoulders to lift, that which I did not have an understanding of how to handle. The boy's death meant so much. It involved a lot of things, more than I could imagine. I can even be hated forever. Perhaps this was what was deserved; perhaps this was what God initially desired; it was the destiny for him to die in my hands, under my care, even though it competed with my professional objectives.

"Catherine and Franklin, I hope you are having a great night. I need you both to follow me inside," I stated as I headed to my office to open it. They seemed reluctant to follow me. Additionally, I had openly offered them my office to stay.

"You have a visitor, Hayzen!" Kate stated.

"Which visitor?" I questioned as I opened the door, ready to meet my visitor.

'Aaliyah!' My heart almost stopped as my eyes were suddenly filled with sad tears, and I had a flashback of Kate and me hugging before the surgery.

"How long have you been waiting?" I asked as I locked the door behind me. I did not want anyone to enter or interfere. She was sitting in the same chair that Kate was sitting in previously. Instead of shifting to my required seat on the other side, I sat next to her where Funky was. Her eyes were puffy and red. She seemed to have been crying all through, and I couldn't help myself as my eyes also teared up.

"Aaliyah," I spoke, but I had nothing to say. There was a lot to explain, a lot of it.

"I was waiting for you so that we can go home," she stated in between a whimper.

"Aaliyah, it's my night shift," I spoke in the lowest voice as I gave her a hug. This time, the hug was different. She was hesitant because it did not last even a second.

"Elvis has arrived," she stated.

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" I said the words clenching my jaw, just feeling so bad about myself. If I were two in one, I would punch myself so hard, almost breaking my jaw.

"I should leave then," she added, standing up and letting go of my hands that were gracing hers. So, as she stood, I slightly touched her left hand, but she just slightly shoved her hand away from my reach. 'A problem,' I registered, so I stood with her.

"I'll, I will take you home," I stated, despite knowing the hefty job that was behind me.

"No, I already told Elvis to come for me here."

"You can't, I can take you home!" I suddenly blurted out. Elvis will for sure kill me if he realizes, if he sees her like this. He shall think I am hurting her, and God, I am trying my best with her.

Before I could even rethink a way to get her home before Elvis arrived, my door was knocked, and I opened it. Elvis' face! Now overly slim, with his cheekbones and jawline visible. He seemed to have been really worked out in Iran and by the Marines. The next thing I knew, his fist met my jawline, and I was down to the floor. Two, three, six, ten... I lost count, but all I heard were the practitioners directing him to leave and another calling out to me. I am sure if I did not lose my teeth out of that hard fist of Elvis, I never will.

"Do... Dooooc..." the voice stated, and again, "Doc... Doctor Levin." I heard it clearly now as I regained consciousness. I wondered how many minutes had passed. So, I just stood fast...

"Relax..." it was one of the practitioners.

"I am okay..." I assured, and she gave me some assurance tests, like following her right hand's index finger with my eyes. "What happened?"

"He has already been asked to leave." Has already, this meant it's not the next day yet. The role of telling Kate and Funky about the news is still on me. God! I hate this. I complained. "The parents of the boy in ward 566 are waiting for you in the office."

I nodded and left the check room as I headed to my office. Maybe it was almost three in the morning. I mean, a lot has just happened. I haven't done anything constructive. I haven't finished my filing effort for the boy that should be completed by morning. I haven't even told Kate and Funky about the news. I don't know how the next emergency patients have been treated. This all was happening so fast, and my head was still hurting.

Thus, I entered my office, took little Shane's file, and sat opposite Funky and Kate, 'my usual seat' to be precise.

"Catherine and Franklin..." I started, not daring even to look at them. I needed this done with.

"Hayzen, your face..." Catherine tried to explain, but that was not of importance at the moment, so I just death-stared them and then remembered I was delivering sad news. So, I coughed a little in order to change my expression.

"The surgery..." I started but could not continue. My brain might maybe take all this out and assume it all meant nothing, but my heart could not. The strength my brain had over my heart would never surpass this news. So, I started tapping on the pen that I had, nervously, as I knew they both were eagerly waiting for my answer. My left leg was also doing the same thing, slowly tapping on the floor as if reminding me everything shall be okay.

"The surgery what?!" Funky asked, now raising his voice.

"Babe..." Kate spoke out to him, and he seemed to calm down. Kate always had that calming aura in her. However, the person who needed calming was me. I was being torn. I was feeling bad.

'You need to be strong! You can do this!' I told myself a thousand times as I lifted my eyes from the file that I just signed to meet Kate's. Her eyes, her now dilated eyes, not dilated from love, but overly moist from the tears she had shed. I couldn't look at her.

"Can I speak to Catherine alone?" I found myself stating, but obviously, Funky shook his head.

"What happened during the surgery? Just tell us he is okay... Can't you see you are driving me crazy?" Funky was never the calm type when it came to nerve-tensing news. But I still kept quiet as I finished writing the boy's file and the report until Funky saw the 'deceased on...'. Hell, I used the doctor's handwriting, but he too had been in that class. The next thing was his hand on my collar, lifting me high above. I hoped he would not finish me off.

"What happened, bastard?" he questioned.

"Funky..." was all Kate was saying. She too was confused. I wondered why she took so long to absorb the news.

"Don't you understand? The boy is dead. Dead! Dead! Dead, Kate... dead! God!" Funky stated. I wondered why he was overly invested in the child as if he were his. I would have questioned why he was overly invested when it should be me acting mad like him, but I just stopped. He had already left me to kiss the comfort of my chair from up high wherever he had raised me to.

"Is it true? Is it true, Zen? Zen, please..." Kate called on me, coming near me, touching me, touching my chest, my jawline, which still had a small bandage. She did not care that Funky was observing us. She did not care. And I was helpless. It was like I was just pushed into a freezer. My mind could not work, my eyes stared at my office door, and my heart just... just felt nothing. The familiar feeling; this familiar feeling where my soul and heart become motionless and my brain becomes a working drug. The familiar feeling came, and as Kate asked for assurance, I had already removed myself, somehow spiritually or fantastically. I stood next to the motionless me on the chair, on my chest, Kate crying helplessly like a little child; and there was Funky, whose fist was clenched, observing the empty wall. Every time this happened, when I removed myself mentally from a situation, that's when I knew it was bad, and this was bad.