This Hollow Rain of Dread...(Joey)

Tomorrow...

We're leaving tomorrow.

I don't know where. I don't know how. But we are. And there's nothing i can do. Just wait for the moment to come and accept it. Not that I want to accept it. Ever damn cell in my body wants to scream out and argue. To try my best and stay here. This shithole I got so used to because even though this place is hell at least there's someone who gives me hope to not give up. Matt, my best friend. My best friend who I didn't know carried secrets of his own. Matt, who I didn't even tell that I'm leaving.

Shit.

I stare down at the quiet street from my low balcony the cold wind cut through my face as I stood still on the balcony. It's almost midnight, the sky darker with the moonless sky, clouds covering the sky blocking the faint light of the night sky.

What am i going to do? What am i going to say?

"What if you say nothing?" I think, "What if I just leave without telling him? Wouldn't that be easier?"

No. No it won't. That would be a shitty thing to do. Really shitty.

Everything's already packed up in my room. More then half of the stuff of the hotel is packed and gone as well. I'm sure Matthew noticed the moving trucks. I hope he did.

I take out my phone from my pocket and sit down on the wooden floor, wincing slightly because of how cool it was.

I go to his contact and stare at it for a long time.

What should I do?

I didn't go to school today. And we haven't talked after what happened with us arguing.

I should call him. Try to tell him on the phone if not face to face.

I lean against the balcony wall and glance down at the street, watching some random people going about their own lives. I wonder how everything is for them?

"Not harder than yours." I mumble, sighing.

I shake my head and frown at my words, "Maybe I'm wrong."

Just then I see a dark figure lurking closer to me than the others.

I narrow my eyes suspiciously and bend my head down to get a better look.

My eyes widen in surprise when I see William, grinning a venomous smile at me.

"Miller!" He shouts at me, "I heard you're moving away!"

I try but fail to not give a stunned expression at what he yells. He knows? How the hell does he know?

"You think no one knows?" William somehow reads my mind, "Who are you kidding? Everyone knows with all these damn moving trucks parked in front of your place."

I press the back of my head against the wall and stare at the sky, gritting my teeth, "What the hell do you want?"

He sneers and yells, "Just wanted to say good-bye to you, of course."

I scoff, "Shut up and get lost, you moron."

He smirks, "Chill dude. I just came to tell you that don't worry, I'll make sure Matthew doesn't miss you and keep him company."

That really hits me. The fact that I'll probably never be able to see Matt again.

Weirdly, I don't say anything in response, just drawing in a long deep breath.

"Have you even told him about you leaving, Jo?" William laughs, "The way he was acting in school today- poor guy has no idea what's going to hit him."

"I swear to god, William." I clench my fists, "Don't test me right now-"

"Or what?" He snarls, "I'm not afraid of you Miller. You're not even gonna be here by tomorrow afternoon!"

I glare at him with all the detest I could feel but something has changed in his annoying expression. More evil. More daring- if that makes any sense.

"You know what, Miller?" He stares at me with wide, somewhat crazy-looking eyes, and takes out his own phone, "How about we inform the whole class about your 'departure'- I'm sure you're in our class group? Matthew's probably in it too."

I immediately jump on my feet, horrified.

"William- don't." I manage to say, my hands grab the guardrail so tight that my knuckles turn white.

But he ignores me completely, eyes glued on the screen.

I realize this is his revenge.

He's going to ruin my friendship with Matt.

I was expecting something like a punch or whatever. But - this is worse.

"Shit." I say, and without giving him a look, i race inside and out of the apartment, through the reception. I burst open the front door, running towards his direction.

He smirks again, watching me look hopeless and angry.

"What the hell did you do?!" I rage out, grabbing his shirt collar. "What the hell did you do?!"

He leers, "You're too late Joey. Sent it already." He waves his phone in front of my eyes, slowly, so i can see and read it.

"Guess what? Joey Miller won't be attending school from now on cause he's leaving the town." The text shone brightly in my eyes. Sneering at me. Mocking me.

"You should have never hit me." William whispers, and pushes me away.

But I keep staring at his phone.

"Delete this." I say in a hoarse voice. "Delete this right now."

He hands me his phone and I'm taken aback for a second.

"Sure. A lot of kids have read it already so I won't be surprised if they text Matthew to confirm this."

My jaw tightens as i reach out to take his phone.

I wanted to hit him like i did before. But i can't take the risk since I'm literally closer to Mr. Miller than anything.

I delete the text but its probably useless now.

I'm sure Matt will know sooner or later.

William gives me a snickering expression, "Well, I'll miss you Joey.

"Shut up."

He chuckles, gives a slight bow for no reason and walks away, whistling as loudly as he could.

"You could have broken his phone." I mumble.

"You could have what?" Says a familiar voice.

I turn around and see Mr. Miller frowning at me.

I roll my eyes, glaring at him for a while before walking back inside, feeling him stare at me while i do.

"Joey!" He follows me inside. "Don't you dare ignore me."

And that's exactly what I do: Ignore him.

His voice wasn't angry- like at this point, we just see each other as a forced compulsion we have to live with it. Something we don't want but need.

I walk back inside the apartment and he's still behind me.

"What do you want?" I hiss at him.

"I think you forgot something." He says, clearing his throat.

I scowl, "What?"

"You didn't think I'd forget the night, did you?" He steps closer, threateningly.

Days ago, I would have started to feel scared. But i don't now.

There is no reason for me to be afraid of him. I feel numb.

I don't hate this new feeling of 'nothing'.

And the night he's talking about? I don't care about it.

"How naïve of you to think you could save them." He tries to provoke me. "How stupid of you to try to act like a hero even though you're not."

But I act calm but my body riles up at these words. I try and suppress the emotions inside.

Finally I say, "Yeah," with a smile all fake, "It was."

He looks taken aback with my response.

I'm surprised too honestly.

Before he could open his mouth to talk shit again, I close the door of my room on his face.

I look down at my hands and realize how they shiver.

I clench my fists but they won't stop trembling.

I try to breath but the guilt is blocking the air to cool me down.

"Stupid." I mutter, sitting down on the floor, my legs having no energy to reach the bed, "This is so stupid."

*******************************************

It rains heavily outside as I look at my phone for what seems like a millionth time.

No text from Matt. No call, no nothing.

Maybe he didn't read the text? And no one probably told him about it either.

I should tell him now. Damn it i should tell him already! its way past midnight now! By the time he's going to read this, I'll be gone.

I'll-I'll be gone.

Sadness.

The word repeats in my mind as I swallow the urge to cry.

"Stop crying." I whisper, curling into a ball in my bed. "Of all the times, don't cry now. Not when you held it in so good for this long."

But I can't stop thinking about how cruel this is.

How cruel I am to him. I mean who would expect their best friend who they've known for years to suddenly disappear?

I'd hate it. He has every right to too.

Suddenly, someone pounds hard at the door startling me. I sit up straight and sigh. What does he want this late? Obviously there will be no more guests since the whole hotel in almost packed up.

"What is it?" I clear my throat before shouting, "I'm kinda busy erm....packing. So would you-?"

"Joey, it me." Says a voice. But not the voice i wished or expected to hear.

"Uhh... who?" I ask for confirmation.

There's a long pause. As if he wants to create some sort of suspense and a grand entrance. He finally announces, "It's Gillian. Gillian Ray."

Deadpanned i reply, "Ok...why?"

"What?" He asks, from the other side.

I roll my eyes, "Why are you here?"

"I'm helping your father with the packing of course." He informs, uninterestedly, "I'm managing the moving trucks and everything."

"Good for you." I get up and walk up to my backpack. It's stuffed with all my main stuff. Clothes, my phone charger, my two watches, my toothbrush and hairbrush, and a book i had ever since i was little. I don't know how I had it but for years now. Just a small book about fairies and other enchanted creatures. It makes me blush with embarrassment but I suppose it was read to me when i was a child. By who? I don't know.

"I'm also here to talk to you, Joey." Snaps Gillian under his breath after a long silence.

"Alright." I open the door for him, but don't let him enter, blocking the entrance. "What?"

He frowns, then hisses, "Where's my money? Thought you had it covered huh, kid?"

So that's what this is about. Of course it is. I think about Mr. Miller's room..that cupboard...

I grin, "Oh, yeah. About that... I wanted to help you and all but then i realized something...I don't care."

Gillian glares at me with detest about to start off with a fight when I say, "The deal's off. Clean up your own shitty mess."

I try to close the door when he blocks it with his foot, "What the hell are you playing at, you brat?"

"Nothing." I answer, "Nothing at all."

"Did you forget about-?"

"Oh about what I did? Hm turns out it's no big deal punching someone. Go ahead and tell Miller. You big whining baby." I smirk as I see him turn red in anger at my comment.

"You know how he reacts." Gillian retorts, "You know he'll kill you if i add a lot of your other 'adventures'."

He knows about Matt and his plan. Obviously he does. I wasn't careful enough. But i don't give him the triumph of watching me nervous as I say, louder than intended,

"Do whatever you want, man. That guy's killed a lot of people, but he needs me to do that. I don't think he's going to listen to you just to loose me."

The words slur out of my mouth and it's not me who's talking. It's the boy who , years ago, started this whole problem by offering to do what I do now and will for i don't know how long.

Gillian opens his mouth but no words come out. He takes a long breath, gives me one more hateful stare before leaving.

I close my door.

I take a few steps away and grin sheepishly.

Glad that problem is over.

Just as I turn to face the window, the blood drains out of my face as I see a figure looking at me with wide horror-filled eyes.

********************************************************

Matt...

How did he get up here? Does anyone know that he's here?

It's because of how low to the ground my balcony is. He climbed up somehow. But how?

That doesn't matter right now.

Because he's on my balcony, completely soaked in the rain. And he's staring at me through the open window and I know he's heard our conversation. I know he's heard what I said to Gillian.

Thunder erupts in the background but I can't hear it. Just looking at the best friend who I'm sure doesn't want to be by my side any longer.

"Matthew...I" I begin to talk but he interrupts me by scoffing.

"I came here to know if the rumors about you were true." He laughs hysterically, leaning down to his knees, "But i definitely didn't expect to find out THIS."

I wince at how he says it. Uncomfortable. Uncomfortably afraid.

"Listen-" I start.

"You know I suspected this though." Matthew interjects, looking at me with a dangerous smile. But not quite dangerous at all. "You always seemed like you were hiding something."

It was like he was hiding his real emotions.

Emotions like- betrayal, regret, fear.

"I-I can explain." But what can I explain? Exactly how am I going to cover it up.

"Explain what?" He spat, yelling, not caring about how he was violently shivering with the cold rain splattering all over him. "How are you going to hide this? I'd like to hear what excuse you make."

I gulp, an ache in my throat that compelled me to stay silent.

I am a criminal and I am caught.

I step closer to Matt but he jumps at my movement, walking backwards.

"Don't you dare come close to me!" He shouts, veins bulging out of his skin, clearly visible from his temple. "Don't you even try and make 'amends' by acting like a good guy!"

"Ok...Ok" I chew at my lip, not wanting him to leave. But still- needing him to leave.

He intently watches me for a while, judging me as he narrows his eyes to focus. Shaking his head in disbelief from time to time. But never bothering to step inside in shade, to avoid the constant rain.

He's wondering about how he spent his life making memories with me. A monster like me. I see it in his eyes. The pain of it all flashing in his blurry eyes.

"I can't believe it. I-I-I..." He stutters, with his head lowered. "all this time...I trusted you. I shared my SECRETS with you, damnit! I told you about a tragedy that I never had the guts to tell anyone! And in the end...You turned out to be the very reason why my parents died. People like YOU!"

I don't say anything. I let his words go deep inside me and haunt me. 'People like me'.

I wonder if he'll call the police. He can do that. But there's something in his eyes that shows he won't. He won't for the sake of our 'lost' friendship.

Giving me a quick last glance of disgust and resent, somehow sharing the hurt he felt with me, he says in a low, painful voice, "Better leave town quick, Joey. I don't...I don't want to see your face again. Ever."

And with these words, he climbs out of the balcony railings and jumps down without any hesitance.

And that's when I know that I'm leaving.

***********************************************

04:00

Still raining.

But i don't care.

I run and run in the night.

Hearing shouts and screams of Gillian's people coming after me.

But i don't stop.

Because I'm flying through the night with Matt's words booming in my ears.

I lost my purpose to stay in this place.

Might as well run.

And it's all a blur as I know that Miller won't spare me now.

I race in the forest, that I neve really focused on.

Who knew it was the reason I'd easily become unseen in the dark?

I don't know where I'm going or when I'm going to reach it.

All I know is that I'm rushing out of this life of burdens and regret.

To live another life.

A lot of things happened in this rain.

This eerie, deep, hollow rain of dread.