The Pursuit of Heaven

I don't remember much before my adoption, but I do know I got very lucky. In my past life I can faintly remember looking into churches from the outside and thinking they looked 'cool'.

I was always too afraid or nervous to take a step inside, but I remember being jealous of the people who were raised in them.

In this life though. I was lucky enough to be adopted into a family that goes to church. As a matter of fact I have a Grandfather in this life who is a cardinal.

Going to Church and learning of the Christian faith to a level far greater than I did in my previous life is one of the ways I wish to be better in this life.

I don't recall almost any of my past life, but I do remember that I wasn't a good person. I don't think I was that bad either, but I have a weird feeling other people did.

Another reason to give myself to my faith is the fact that I have been reborn. I personally don't know how I ended up here, but it has at least proven to me something that most likely no other human knows for a fact. 

The soul exists. And not just the soul, but most likely also a higher power.

If I don't have a reason above other people to devote his life to God, then I don't know who does. As for why the God I have chosen to follow is the Christian God. 

It's because of the family I was adopted into. If being an orphan that is adopted by a family with strong ties to the church isn't a 'sign', then I don't know what is.

I would have never thought like this in my past life, but what is what I'm going through if not proof of some higher power, or at least of the soul.

'Perhaps I'm wrong.' A thought rings through my mind at least once a week. I never had evidence of me being wrong, but one thing that ended up only becoming my strongest. Every time I pray or use the lord's name I feel a dull pain in my skull.

When I was first going to church the pain hurt to an almost crippling degree, but as time went on I continued praying and confessing my sins. Slowly but surely the pain has gone away and become the dull reminder of past sins and nothing more.

Still though it wasn't until today that I completely confirmed my belief.