expanding the village XXIV

When the sun starts to come up I'm still sitting at his grave, crook comes over and sits behind me looking at me with his big brown eyes he licks my cheek, I put my hand on his head gently rubbing his head, he curls himself into my lap and lays down I just keep petting him staring at the river, I can see Olfin playing with crook in the river trying to find pretty rocks to collect, I can hear him laughing at crook jumping in the water tears again roll down my cheeks, how do I keep living here knowing he is gone and I wasn't even here to try and comfort him when he was sick, crook whimpers in my lap as if he understand what I'm feeling and he feels just as sad as I do.

Groma:"Whitney are you okay Zul came to me last night and said you wouldn't talk to him that you slapped him, when he asked if you are okay"

Whitney:"I didn't slap him because he asked me if I'm okay I slapped him because both barg and Zul made a bet on who is going to get me as if I'm some stupid prize, maybe I shouldn't have hit him but I slapped barg to when I found out and it just makes me so angry!"

Groma sits down on a big rock that's a few feet away she nods as I tell her what happened, I'm not sure if she's here to yell at me or not.

Groma:"i understand i don't think they ever meant to make you feel like a prize to win I think they both have very big feelings for you and them being young men being competitive and jealous of each other made a silly bet, I don't blame you for being upset about it I can see how it comes off in a bad way but they both are very adoring to you they would never mean to hurt you" I sigh understanding what she's saying but still being upset about the whole thing I don't care how they meant it, they still seen me as a prize, I will not let anyone win.

Groma:"I know you've been out here all night I know you are heartbroken and beating yourself up over not being here for Olfin but it isn't your fault, he would have passed even if you were here, he's at peace now with his parents.. he did tell me to tell you when you returned he said "thank you.. for taking care of me and being a mother to me when I had no one please don't feel bad for me I'm going home to see my parents"

As I'm listening to her tell me what he said my heart breaks a little more but is a little happy he wasn't scared and was going to be with his parents again, it doesn't make the hurt go away but I'm glad he's at peace now.

Groma:"I know you need time but try not to stay out here all night again it is going to get cold soon, the guys are worried as well"

I nod to her as she gets up and leaves back to the village I rest my head back against the tree I close my eyes listening to the river it helps to calm me down. I sit there for the rest of the day just trying to get my head together but it doesn't work when I go back to the village I go to the hut I first stayed in crook following me we go in and I shut the door behind me I crawl into the bed and soon I'm fast asleep hugging crook as he sleeps with me.

The next morning I wake up to hear people yelling angrily at each other I get dressed and head down crook runs to his food bowl acting as if he's never been fed before, I see a man and the cyclops arguing about how best to build the blacksmiths building I walk over

Whitney:"hey!" I say loudly at them to get their attention as they both look at me, "alright what seems to be the problem and why are you two fighting so early in the morning?"

Man:"he thinks he knows best how to build the blacksmith shop being he's the blacksmith but I'm the builder and he won't agree with me on anything!" The man glares at the cyclops as he huffs

Cyclops:"I know what will work best for the shop that I will be running! But of course the human thinks he knows best, I need to have good airflow through the building he wants to close everything off I will never be able to make anything that way"

Whitney:"okay the shop part where you put the finished stuff can be enclosed and the stuff you need for making the tools and weapons can be open make sure the base is all stone so nothing can catch fire, put a cover over the outside part it will be dry but have plenty of air flow to help it the anvil can be on the outside as well it's not that hard guys just try to work together without yelling"

They both nod at me

Man:"okay I can do that"

Cyclops:"thanks"

They both go off talking about what they will need I go back to get food not wanting to talk to anyone else I grab my food and head back to the river.

Several months pass. It's early fall the leafs are changing colours the wind is a little colder the wild life is very active trying to prepare for the harsh winter to come, our town has been growing by the day everyone now has a home we've got many shops selling all types of meat, bread, clothing, jewelry, horses and many more we have two big farms one has horses and cows and the other has sheep, pigs and chickens, we've made trades with other towns and villages and the odd wandering merchants, everyone seems very happy and they don't seem to mind that Groma is technically the leader of the town she's the one we look to for help when something happens or if people have disagreements she's wise and knows how to handle it all, I usually spend time with her and watching over Benjamin whenever I can he's still in some type of deep sleep Groma has tried everything she knows but nothing has worked we know he's still alive he just can't wake up. I spend a lot of time at the river still I know I should be done mourning for Olfin but I just can't seem to get past it, I dream about him about spending nights sleeping with him to make him feel better when it was storming how sad he looked when I left with barg and zul, as for me, Zul and Barg we haven't really talked much I've generally kept my distance from them and they seem to be doing the same I see them now and then talking and joking, they have become good friends over these few months, I of course miss them but I'm not in a place to even think about a relationship with anyone. I still talk with Charlie now and then he's the same as always happy and mildly frightening sometimes but I doubt he'd hurt a fly now a days he's like a big sheep cute fluffy and basically harmless, I've been reading tons and tons of books on potions, spells and curses to see if anything could help Benjamin but nothing has worked yet but I'm not going to give up.

I wake up in the morning as usual get dressed and head down to check on Benjamin he's still in the deep sleep I speak to him a little and then head out I go and gather a few chicken eggs to cook for breakfast I head back to my hut and sit at the fire with my pan I cook them and eat before gathering my laundry and heading to the river with my wash board to clean my clothes, crook bounces along behind me with a stick in his mouth I take it and throw it he sprints after it, I get to the river and sit on a stone I pull my dress up so it won't get wet as more people wake up more laundry piles up as they bring it to me to wash since I'm usually here anyway I don't really mind and it gives me something to do during the day.

Crook comes running back with his stick

"Alright I'll throw it but you have to put it down first crook" he puts it down and moves back a little I pick it up and throw it away from the river as he takes off for it he loves to play fetch I hear a familiar voice behind me

Barg:"uh hey i have some laundry"

Whitney:"ok just put it with the rest I'll get to it soon"

Barg:"are you ever going to speak to me again the way we did before"

Whitney:"we both know things can't go back to normal not after everything that's happened"

Barg:"it can go back to normal you just have to let me back in, I know olfins death was hard and the bet was stupid but you can't hate me and zul forever"

Whitney:"I don't hate either of you Barg I'm just in no place to have a relationship with anyone I can barely take care of my own needs without someone needing help or laundry needing to be done or trying to find a way to help Benjamin"

Barg walks over to me and sits on the stone with me he picks up some clothes and grabs another wash board as he starts helping me

Barg:"then let me help you Zul is hunting today so I don't really have much else to do"

I sigh as I look at him

Whitney:"fine, but this doesn't mean things are going back to how it used to be or that I forgive you or Zul for the dumb bet"

He nods as a small smile spreads on his face I sneak a few glances at him while we work silently he is still the goofy handsome orc I used to be close with, his hair is still short he hasn't changed at all.

Barg:"so.. has Groma had any luck with helping Benjamin"

Whitney:"no she's done everything she can, nothing has worked, we think it's probably a curse and that means finding the witch or wizard that put it on him or finding a stronger witch or wizard to remove it"

Barg:"I'm surprised you haven't gone looking yet"

Whitney:"I've wanted to Groma wants me to stay put til winter is over so she can keep trying but once spring hits I'll be heading out to find someone to help"

Barg:"you know I wouldn't mind going on another adventure with you the last one was pretty interesting" he chuckles and nudges me lightly

Whitney:"yeah that is true but I'm not sure I may just go alone" he nods a little as we go back to work crook comes over and sees Barg he excitedly wags his tail and goes over to him Barg pets him and tosses the stick for him a couple times, a few hours later we are hanging all the clothing on the clothes lines we have set up for them to all dry

Barg:"man I could go for a nice warm bath after all that washing what do you say we go to the hot spring to warm up and clean up" he smirks at me as I shake my head

Whitney:"I'm okay but thanks" I go to walk away when he takes my hand gently and stops me

Barg:"Whitney I really am sorry for the stupid bet and so is Zul we never meant for it to make you feel like some prize, I miss having you around, I miss kissing your soft lips, and sleeping with you in my arms please forgive me"

Whitney:"I can't just forgive you Barg that's just not how I am…" he looks down letting my hand go his smiles fades into a sad frown as he puts his hands in his pockets "but we can start with being friendly again" he looks up his smile comes back a little as he looks at me

Barg:"I can live with that" I nod and motion towards the wash boards he picks the other one up as well as the dirty laundry baskets we take them back into town and put them outside my hut

Whitney:"see you later Barg oh if crook comes back to you will you play with him some more im going to be doing more reading on spells and such and he will bark at me til I play with him"

Barg:"yeah of course I can definitely do that he is a really cute dog he absolutely loves you as well"

Whitney:"I know he loves everyone specially if they give him food aha" I chuckle for the first time in a long time it feels strange even just chuckling a little at a conversation it's been a long time since I felt anything except sadness and loss maybe it is time for me to let go of the past and focus on my future.