Chapter 16

"Sweep the floor there, get right back up, five six seven eight!"

"Five, six...! Seven, eight!"

Following my example, Yoo Ha-woon and Chae-haru struggled to get on their feet, sweeping their legs in front of them.

The linking movements still didn't come out smoothly and had a jerky quality to them.

I wonder if they know this too, as they hang their heads and gasping for air.

I pause the music and look at my watch.

It's now eight in the evening. We were still practicing feverishly when we should've been going down for dinner.

It had been two days since the group battle match was confirmed for 'Volt'.

The only thing I had going for me was that I had spent a month preparing for 'Asri 2' and had been poring over the choreography and also the choreography for this song, but the other guys didn't even know where to begin.

It took me until around two in the morning to get the basic choreography down. Then the next day, which is today, I started trying to put together the sum with the other members of Group 9.

These two guys were the most confused.

"Sorry, I think we can do it again...!"

"No. Let's take a five-minute break first."

"..."

They skipped dinner and asked me to do an extra session, so they're clearly passionate.

However, I felt like I was hitting a wall and wasn't getting the results I'd wanted.

I decided to bring in two cases of bottled water and talk to them.

If I see a problem, factor analysis is the surest way to solve it.

"Ha-woon, you used to follow along when you practiced 'HIT' with me before, didn't you?"

"Yes...."

"This is no different from then, so why are you being so sluggish?"

I know because I've seen a lot of trainees.

When I think back to what I heard when I first met Yoo Ha-woon, he's been working at a small agency for two and a half years.

In short, he has all the basic things that an idol trainee should have.

"I know what I want to do in my head, but I feel like my body doesn't move the way I want it to..."

"Are you aware of all the choreography?"

"Yes."

If so, it's not a matter that's of basic skill.

If you've mastered all the moves in a day, you've got a keen eye and a keen mind.

I looked at Yoo Ha-woon, who was staring at down at his legs, and I was lost in thought.

'If he has the basics and still has this expression on his face... I wonder if there's more to it.'

"Ha-woon, maybe when you were a trainee at a planning company."

"....!"

"Did you have a reason not to tell me?"

At the mention of the agency, Yoo Ha-woon shuddered slightly.

It turns out my hunch was correct.

I turned to the side and looked at Chae-haru, who was still wearing a blank expression.

"If there's something you can't tell us yet—"

"Oh, no! No, no, no...."

A deep sigh escaped Yu Ha-woon's mouth, as if he knew what was coming.

Cerberus, who was lying down in the far corner so as not to disturb the practice, spoke to me in an interesting tone.

{And now you'd know what was causing the debilitating odor.}

"Actually, it's funny, my agency used to make boy groups quite often, like two in two years, and I always made it to the debutant group and then ran out, and my friends who came in late would debut and every time, I was the only one who didn't get to…."

As Yoo Ha-woon trailed off, a heavy silence fell over the practice room.

The situation was more serious than I thought.

It turns out that Yoo Ha-woon didn't look so confident the whole time.

"Even when I know I shouldn't do it, I naturally blame myself. At first, I was like, Oh, I'm just unlucky, it wasn't my time. But as the months went by, and the years went by, and the same failure happened twice... I felt like that wasn't the case, it was me, and I couldn't do the moves, I couldn't sing the song any better... It was a total disaster."

I knew what it was like to be in the position of watching others make their debut. I'd been waiting six years for my own debut, hoping it would happen.

But in my case, my debut was delayed to 'build the best team'.

In Yoo Ha-woon's case, he was delayed because he was judged to be not good enough to be in the debut group.

And not just once, but twice.

It's hard to imagine how much of a loss that must have been.

"I feel like I can't do anything because I'm not good enough. I'm afraid that if I look pathetic in my own eyes, how much worse woulx I look in the eyes of other people... I was in such a rut, and then the agency gave me one last chance. They said, 'We're going to give you a chance to be on 'Idol Stardig,' and you should do it, thinking it's the last time. But as you know, there were a lot of people on the show who were very strong, so I became even more intimidated..."

I looked at Yoo Ha Woon's bitter smile and felt slightly offended.

What kind of crazy agency puts a wounded trainee through a survival audition like this, telling them it's their last chance.

The agency must've realized that Yoo Ha-woon's confidence was at rock bottom.

'....You were so low on confidence that all you could do was make that fake smile.'

I know better than anyone that I shouldn't be on a show like this, and I shouldn't be making a fool of myself.

Watching Yoo Ha-woon since the last time, I can't help but think of the old days.

Back in the days of BlackLash, he was in a similar situation as the youngest member of our group.

He kept making expressions that were too similar to the youngest member of the group, whose self-esteem was at its lowest point after failing one audition after another at different agencies.

Something inside me kept urging me to help him because of those old thoughts.

'...Yeah, we'll be a lost cause as a team if we can't help Yoo Ha-woon get better, so I have to do this. I can't help it.'

Based on this little self-rationalization, I made a small mental note.

I'll use up this opportunity to restore his self-esteem somehow.

Whatever it takes.

After finishing his story, Yoo Ha-woon smiled with a bit of coolness.

"That's nice, though, I'd always suffer it all alone. Thank you, big brother Si-hwan."

"I didn't do anything for you. You did this all on your own, Woon-ah, you just need to be confident. I mean."

I squeezed both his shoulders, and the 18-year-old was stunned.

"I want you to change yourself for this stage. Okay?"

"Oh, okay!"

Once I had cleared the confession of the one lamb, my gaze naturally turned back to Chae-haru.

His character was still hidden in the labyrinth.

His head must be spinning in some strange place, because he always has those lifeless eyes, and all my hell-honed insight is useless.

So I went back to my trusted corner, Cerberus, and asked him a question.

"How's Chaharu, do you smell anything special?"

{Hmm, I think he's similar to that human named Yoo Ha-woon. The soul itself is very clean. But there's something equally draining behind it, my lord.}

'He must have a dark past, too.'

Now that Cerberus had cleared the air, it was time to find out what kind of story the trainee named Chae-haru had.

"Woon's story made me curious about Haru. Well first, Haru."

"Yes."

"Aren't you hot with your hair down like that? You look like you're sweating a lot—"

Chaharu's long bangs had been bothering me since we'd started practicing. Practicing so intensely in such a confined space would cause me to sweat profusely.

Chae-haru's bangs were raised by hand.

"You, man..."

I trailed off.

Raising Chae-haru's bangs revealed something unexpected.

I, who was rarely at a loss for words, stuttered like a person with lag while watching him.

"You, you... why do you have such a face and bangs...?"

"Oh, this?"

Chae-haru said, his tone still grave.

"It's just bothering me."

I've met countless idol trainees in my life, and I've seen professional idols who'd have actually crossed the threshold for debuting.

So I realize how important visuals are in this market.

On the other hand, if I didn't care about this, I wouldn't have taken care of myself through the hell of it.

Now, with my bushy bangs completely removed, my mask for the day was self-illuminating.

The baby white skin of a 19-year-old who hadn't yet reached adulthood. A sharp jawline and high nose with no hint of baby fat.

Add to that a pair of wide-open eyes that made you feel like you were looking at a classic actor's handsome face.

"Haru, don't you look in the mirror often?"

"I don't think so."

"Even when you're washing up?"

"I tend to get in and out as quickly as possible."

You don't realize how rarely you see yourself in idol scenes.

I asked Yoo Ha-woon as I fixed Chae-haru's bangs with both of my hands.

"He's handsome even to you, isn't he?"

"I have to admit, I was a little lost for words when he showed me his haircut."

"Isn't that right, has my eyes gotten weird?"

"Your eyes are always right!"

Confirming that there was nothing wrong with my eyesight, I stepped back slightly.

Chae-haru merely straightened his slightly disheveled hair with a nonchalant face.

At this point, the one question on anyone's mind would be.

"Haru, don't you have an agency?"

"Yes, I do."

"So the agency must have made sure to compliment you on your looks when they cast you, and you're still going around like this?"

"Oh, come to think of it, I think the head of the company did mention that I was handsome when he gave me his business card."

This was the first time I'd ever heard someone say they were handsome and not feel an ounce of pride.

People with a mask as good as Chae-haru's should be able to recognize that they're good looking and have a basic sense of self-worth.

Like, for example, the son of the Sung clan in the 10th dynasty.

"I'm just a normal kid who went to school and got cast on the street."

"So the school you went to wasn't even a preview?"

"Yeah, it was just a normal school."

Chae-haru pulled out his cell phone and tapped a few times on the typewriter.

Then he thrusted the screen towards me stille with a nonchalant face.

I gasped again at the high school information on the screen.

"Ko, Korean Science High School? You, you're from Guago?"

"Yep. I'm not bragging, but I've been called gifted and a genius since I was a kid."

It wasn't just smart.

Specialized schools like science high schools were very famous in my previous life. It's hard to even get a job interview unless you're a really good student.

Having attended such a school, I've said all I need to say.

But something is wrong.

If he's so good at his academics, he shouldn't have to say yes to being casted as an idol trainee.

Why not just go to college and get a job?

"If you've been studying all this time, you wouldn't have any information about idols, so how did you get accepted for the casting?"

"Oh, that's why."

As if he had somehow expected me to ask this question, Chae-haru smiled brightly and answered.

"Because I'm so poor."