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The Greatest Joke

You are so bored that you decided to check out this book. What else can be done out of boredom? Do you think that boredom can be a fundamental force of some sort? This story is about characters with boredom at the bottom of their hearts, about their actions and their consequences. "The joke doesn't really work when you take it seriously. Life is hard to manage when you think that it's priceless. Imagine that it's worthless as a pebble for a second. It's much easier to handle the pebble than the infinitely valuable treasure, right?" A.N: This novel has a complex and unique power system that I created by combining my favorite aspects from a variety of different genres with my imagination. Also I'm trying to make all of my characters enjoyable to watch, so don't hesitate and check out my work!

Deantor · Kỳ huyễn
Không đủ số lượng người đọc
14 Chs

Shelter and scouting

After this little incident Lev returned to his "work place"

...

"So your ability allows you to create "ropes" out of thin air?"

"Yes, but they can't last long, it says that their limit is one hour"

"Can you make one for me to see?"

Lev was currently talking to the blonde girl, who was one of the "people" of "white knight" together with Avery Barnett. He never told his name to anyone, so the nickname "white knight" was commonly used to refer to him in.

"I don't know how"

"Just focus on your stigma. Commit to the action and don't hesitate. It's like moving your arm, honestly"

"Alright..."

The girl closed her eyes and frowned. Five thin lines of dim light started to emerge from the tips of her fingers. It was hard to say what color they were. The best word that could be used to describe it is probably "motley"

"It was much easier than I thought"

The girl said in a slightly surprised manner

"Told you. Can you separate them from your body?"

Lev asked as he held these thin lines in his hand.

The girl nodded and formed a fist. The lines popped right away as she did so.

'They look more like fishing lines. Even if you braid them together the result won't be a "rope".'

Lev separated one of the lines. It was virtually weightless. He coiled both ends of it around his middle fingers and pulled. The line didn not sustain any damage.

He pulled as hard as he could. The line started to dig into his skin, so he stopped his test.

'It's as durable as modern day fishing line. I would even say more durable that it. I coiled it in a way that would create friction between two different spots on the line, effectively cutting it. If it was made from nylon I would have a chance, but this one is nigh-indestructible'

"So you tell me it can exist for an hour and then it falls apart?"

"Probably. I don't know. It says so"

"How much mana did you spend on them?"

"I don't know?"

The girl looked confused

"Look it up in your window. To the left of the stigma information section. There is a picture of your body, on top of it"

"It was 160 and now it's 154. Six points it seems like"

Lev looked at the bunch of strings in his hand. He compared it to his own height. They were slightly longer than a meter.

'One point for one meter or so. Not bad. She said that her max is 170 mana? It means she has 170 potential, assuming that the way it works is the same among all people people. Thanks for extra information'

...

"Next!"

"You have an increased chance to receive a card of better quality when you choose to scrap the skill that was created? Well it's untestable right now.

Next!"

...

'It seems like everyone who decided to share the information about their stigmas did so. Seventeen on me and ten more on Felix. Twenty seven out of forty eight. More than a half. Most of the stigmas are either unusable right now, or so insignificant that they are virtually nonexistent. There are few people with truly useful one's: Laura with her [intense care], Avery with her capabilities of unlimited arson, that one girl with fishing lines and the dude with [deformation] stigma. Ability to slightly alter the shape of inanimate objects is very good. I should ask him to make me a knife out of granite or something.

What are these two dudes doing?"

While Lev and Felix were preoccupied with memorising all the information about the stigmas of others, some people were already trying to assemble a shelter. Two guys were carrying the trees that Lev chopped, while the other two were discussing the structure of a future shelter.

"I tell you, the best way to do that is by leaning the logs on the oak, creating a cone of some sort"

"Have you ever seen people doing it that way? If no one builds like that it means that there are some problems with this structure that we are not aware of"

"I've seen. It's called wigwam"

"It doesn't work like that. There's no support inside of it"

"And the one we are building will have it. What could possibly go wrong if we will make it even more stable? Your "upside down book" will fold on itself much easier. Also our resources are limited, therefore we have to use the circle as a shape of the basis, because it has the best "perimeter to area" ratio"

"But we cannot upscale it, we are limited by the length of the logs"

"We don't need to. Let's say that they are five meters long and the point of intersection with the oak is three meters away from the ground. This gives us a circle with...

"Around 50"

"...Around 50 meters of area. Minus the oak trunk, minus the uninhabitable area around the edges. Let's say it's 45m². There are 48 people... Yeah"

"Admit that was a sh*ty idea and I will not mock you for it"

"Actually, it's more than enough if everyone will lie on their side right next to each other..."

'I feel like I'm trapped in a mental asylum'

Lev was not impressed by the brainstorm of two "civil engineers". He made his way towards them.

"I think that you should just start building the "cone" one as soon as possible and then try to enlarge it by building the classical "book-shaped" later. It will act as an entrance and additional sleeping area"

Two "engineers" looked at each other. One could almost see the way they formed a truce in this split second.

"Have you thought about the way to connect them? There is no point in making a shelter with a gap."

"And how are we supposed to make the upper part of the "enlargement" stay in place. Do you know that..."

Lev didn't listen further

"Do your magic then. I'm gonna chop some more trees for you to work with"

"We would really appreciate if you will do so, Lev Badger"

'You are not my mother to call me by my full name. Even if it's fake'

Lev walked towards the same bosk

Few hours have passed

Lev did everything he was interested in. He chopped few more trees to get used to his [machete] skill, scouted the area around the future camp and walked few kilometers to the east in search of food. He was not scared to get lost: he could find his way back using the sun, or the branches that he was breaking in the correct direction along the way.

'I don't know if it's edible but it looks awfully similar to the "chicken of the woods". Knowing that the "god" used his older assets for this world, such as oak tree, I think that it's safe to assume that these mushrooms are edible, at least after being cooked. There is a whole log of them, so don't mind if I do'

Lev started to rip the orange flesh from the rotten log. He didn't have a backpack, so he had to improvise by skewering the mushrooms on a stick and carrying it around like a dumbbell. He walked a bit more and stumbled upon something that looked like a bush of rose hips. He pinched one of the berries open. It was red and sturdy on the outside and hairy inside. The seeds were a bit glossy.

'This might be edible too. Would be better to boil them, but we can't do that currently, so I'll have to just wash it probably'

After a picking full pockets of rose hips and gathering four "dumbbells" of mushrooms Lev turned around and followed his trail of broken twigs and made his way back to the camp.

A lot of people have returned from their ventures in the woods with some kind of food on their hands and were in relatively good mood. There also was a huge fire around thirty meters away from a sad-looking cone of logs, twigs and leaves. There were few people, who gathered around the Avery. They all were in a good mood, joking around and calling her "Goddess of the home and hearth".

There was a different group of people, who were also sitting around the fire, but their faces were impenetrable as stones. Lev noticed that they all seemed old in the unsteady light of the flames, even though their faces and bodies looked as if they were in their early 20s. As if the shadows of the years they lived through would clip through their skin for a moment, just to fade away in the light of a fire.

'It would be cool to talk to some 90 year old fossil who got resurrected and thrown there in a new body. Will his brain be alright? People are usually get dementia or sclerosis at that age. So did the "god" fix it or not? Our consciousnesses should travel across the worlds, so doing something like that would be against the main idea? Or there is no idea? He just probably does whatever he wants with no system or restraints what so ever'

Lev walked up to the group with Avery in the middle

"Oh, you brought me some mushrooms. Thank you so much!"

Avery stretched her as forward as she spoke

"Would you bring something to the person who nearly gave you second degree burns in the first ten minutes of your acquaintanceship with them?"

"You won't embarrass me with that, there was no ill will on my part, so there is nothing to feel guilty about. Gimme the shrooms"

Lev put his arm further, to keep mushrooms out of the Avery's reach.

"If you want shrooms you should go a couple of kilometers to the east. I think I saw few amanitas there. We have a fire, so you can "condition" them if you want"

Avery looked annoyed and displeased. Lev continued:

"Do you have a "food bank" or something like that. I think I should share some to avoid being torn to shreds by hungry people"

"Inside the "pile". You will see"

"Also, one more thing. How did you cut the logs for the fire?"

There were indeed few logs in the pyre. Edges seemed to be smooth.

"Jeff discovered that Ally's strings can be used as saw if two people will pull on it from each side"

Lew frowned in confusion

"It's really thin and durable. I don't know how exactly but it works. But Kareem complained that it causes blisters to appear really fast"

"Ok. Thanks for the information"

Lev walked away a bit and stopped. He broke one of the "dumbbells" in the middle and threw half of it in Avery's hands. She was surprised and grateful.

Lev made his way inside of the "pile". It was really hard to walk around. It was barely usable for sleep either. Decent amount of food was laying around the outer edge, where no one could fit to lie down. Lev put one "dumbbell" on the ground, as well as a bit of rose hips.

'I'm a good member of society... Oh, what's that?'

There was a delicious looking fruit that looked like a pink apricot. Lev took it and ate. It was indeed very delicious, even though slightly unripe. He took one more and but into the pocket. He went to the second fire and set down near it, preparing his mushrooms for cooking. When the sticks were all installed on the right distance from the fire and loaded with mushrooms Lev took a step back and observed the situation around him.

People were talking and even occasionally joking, but there was a lingering feeling of awkwardness and isolation. People were really different and it was hard for them to engage in a conversation.

"Do you want to hear a joke, guys?"

Lev waited for a moment when everyone was silent not to interrupt anyone.

People looked at him in a strange manner, as if he did something weird.

"Not really"

"Go ahead"

"Alright"

Everyone except a girl with snow-white hair agreed.

"University student enters bakery and sees a sign:

"Cinnamon roll - 5$, Hand job - 50$".

He looks at the counter and sees a gorgeous brunette, like supermodel level gorgeous. Without a second thought he throws 50$ on the table. The girl smiles and asks:

"And how do you want me to do it, pretty boy?"

The student says:

"I can jerk off at home, give me 10 cinnamon rolls"

Some people chuckled while others doubtfully smiled

"Not bad"

"I didn't even have that much money when I was a student"

"Why are they doing that kind of services in the bakery?"

"Gross"

Lev looked disappointed and got up

"You guys are really stale"

He turned around and made his way towards the shelter.

"Come on, I laughed"

"It was a decent joke, actually"

"Gross"

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A.N: I'm back, my fellow 2 people who can hypothetically read that.

Exams. I hate functional analysis.

I'll write semi-consistently now.