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The Greatest Joke

You are so bored that you decided to check out this book. What else can be done out of boredom? Do you think that boredom can be a fundamental force of some sort? This story is about characters with boredom at the bottom of their hearts, about their actions and their consequences. "The joke doesn't really work when you take it seriously. Life is hard to manage when you think that it's priceless. Imagine that it's worthless as a pebble for a second. It's much easier to handle the pebble than the infinitely valuable treasure, right?" A.N: This novel has a complex and unique power system that I created by combining my favorite aspects from a variety of different genres with my imagination. Also I'm trying to make all of my characters enjoyable to watch, so don't hesitate and check out my work!

Deantor · Fantasy
Not enough ratings
14 Chs

HR activities and being a barber

After a few minutes, the clearing.

Two thin lines of people were forming, both of them leading towards the oak tree. People in the queue kept a large distance between each other, around five meters.

Under the oak tree

Lev Badger and Felix Alpin were standing side by side. They form some sort of committee by listening to people's descriptions of their stigma and deciding the profile of their future work based on it. Sometimes they would even watched demonstrations of stigma effects.

"So you are telling me that your stigma is called [Gambler] and using it blocks a random skill of yours for a day and "greatly enhances" a different random skill?"

Lev asked quietly

"Basically yes. I can even demonstrate it. I don't have any skills and probably won't have for a long time"

The guy called Gregory answered.

"Let's go in the woods"

They walked out of the clearing and went further into the woods. After around fifty meters they stopped. Gregory used his will and activated the stigma.

A purple coin appeared in the space in front of him, it was around three centimeters in diameter and slightly translucent. A circle could be seen on one side of it and a square was engraved onto the other. The coin was floating peacefully

"And what?"

"I don't know what to do next. Even though it's my stigma it doesn't have an instruction on how to actually use it"

"Touch the coin"

Gregory raised his hand and touched it. The same moment his finger reached the purple coin it shooted out upwards. It seemed like it was phasing through the leaves and branches on it's way up. After a second of flight it fell on the pile of foliage. The side with a circle could be seen. The coin disappeared soon after.

Lev and Gregory were slightly amused by this event.

"Effect?"

"None."

"... At least it looks cool"

They came back under the oak. Gregory went somewhere, while the next person approached Lev.

"It's me again, lumberjack!"

The red haired woman that was really harsh to the "white knight" showed up. She looked really young, but there was something about her that made calling her "a girl" awkward. The aura, maybe?

"I'm Lev Badger, nice to meet you again. So, what information about your stigma you would be willing to reveal?"

"I will show it to you in action. By the way, my name Avery Barnett"

"Alright, follow me then."

Lev said as he walked between the trees

"And what are we going to do in such an isolated place, Lev Badger? M~?

"Looking at something you wanted to "show in action", Avery Barnett. I know that you are probably very happy to start your new life in a new and young body but don't go over the top with this"

"So you are implying that I'm an old witch in a body of young girl?"

"I'm implying that we are in a situation where we can't afford f*cking around being silly and flirty with each other. We have to do a ton of things in a short amount of time"

"What gave you an impression that I was "flirty"?"

"Show the effect of your stigma, for f*cks sake"

Lev was loosing it.

"Alright, alright... But you'll have to wait a second. It's a bit uncomfortable"

Avery grabbed a single hair on her head and pulled on it. She managed to pull it out.

"Ouch"

She held it carefully as she was choosing another one to pull.

"Wait"

Lev raised his hand and stopped her

"Your stigma has something to do with your hair and you have to separate it from your body to use it, right?

"Well I don't have to, but it would be better to do so"

"How many of them do you need for your demonstration?"

"I've never used it before, but I think it must be around 10 or so"

"Turn around"

Lev nodded

"And what is going to happen next, Mister Badger~"

"I will make pulling the hair out of your skin unnecessary, that's what gonna happen"

"Oh. Alright"

Avery Barnett seemed to be pleasantly surprised. She didn't say anything else and turned around. She threw her red hair back and ran her fingers through it to make it slightly fluffier and easier to work with. It was long enough to cover her shoulder blades and reach her back.

"Pick from the middle and be careful please"

Avery seemed really nervous. He could see her back muscles tense up under her shirt.

Lev put his hand inside the stream of hair and carefully isolated exactly ten.

'I know how it works so nothing bad will happen'

[machete]

*s*

Nearly invisible spark of metallic light lit up on the surface of his index finger. The hair was successfully cutted off. No other threads were damaged

'It's really easy to control. I bet that I can cut a mosquito in half. If it will be stationary, of course'

Lev looked in the status window

'Still ten mana... How and why'

"You can turn around now"

Lev was carefully holding a strand of hair in his left hand. Avery looked really surprised and slightly cautious.

"I didn't feel any tension. How did you do that? Are you hiding a razor somewhere on you?"

"I don't have a razor"

'I don't even lie. I don't have a razor indeed'

"And how did you did it? Can it be that your stigma is not "reinforced construction" or something?"

"Trade secret. What did you want to show me with that?"

Lev was looking at the strand of hair in his hand with a perplexed look on his face

"I don't exactly know how to use it but here we go"

*Flash*

Suddenly the strand of hair bursted into flames. It took a fraction of a second for Lev to react and throw it on the ground, but this miniscule amount of time was enough to make the exposed body hair on Lev's forearms curl from the heat. Black dots could be seen on their ends.

'Sh*t, I'm lucky that it didn't light up from the different side of the strand. It would've been an unavoidable second degree burn'

Lev was holding his left hand with his right one, trying to absorb the residual heat. He blinked few times. The red flame was so bright that he was seeing spots.

Avery gasped and covered her mouth with her hands. She was terrified by what she did.

"I'm... I'm sorry, I didn't know! I would never do something like that.

Lev was throwing the dirt on the hair. It fell on the large chunk of wet moss and was already covered with soil but didn't stop burning. After thoroughly covering the hazard with soil he stepped on it few times to compress it, leaving no way for air to get in. But even after that he could still hear it simmer inside.

"Did it burn you? It smells like burned hair... I didn't know, I swear-"

"It's fine, calm down. Of course you didn't know how it works...The worst thing is that I'm gonna see spots for hours probably"

Avery looked at him with concern. She was also blaming herself for doing it the way she did.

"So... It's cool right? It's dangerous, but powerful enough to start a fire. I thought that this strand of hair would be as powerful as a match..."

"Yeah, I get it. You're going to be in the camp maintenance team, you agree?"

"I do..."

"Nice, let's go back. There are few people to register still"

'Holly hell. She can permanently scar you by putting few individual hairs in your pocket. She can burn the whole forest with that if she wants'

"How much mana did you use to do that? I'm just curious. You should not tell me if you don't want to"

"16 points. Who knew that it's so much fire power..."

'I spent 10 just to cut them off! What an OP stigma'

"So, do you want me to recommend you as a barber to other girls?"

"Absolutely not"