Pain and suffering

When I woke up the next day I felt exhausted. I hadn't slept for almost the whole night. I had just tossed and turned restlessly, brooding over my own thoughts.

My decision felt wrong. Fleeing from here felt like a mistake.

I wanted to help Cain. I really wanted to. But I've also came to the conclusion that if I'm dead, I wouldn't be able to help Cain at all. If Isaya was right, then I would probably really die here in the future. Either by the Queen so she could keep torturing Cain mentally, or even by Cain's alter ego himself if I provoked him or made him angry in the future. The palace was no longer a safe place for me.

I had actually become aware of this subconsciously since I had witnessed Cain's curse for the first time in person. I just didn't want to admit it. It was like a sinking feeling in my stomach that something was wrong. That I was in danger. It made me uneasy.

I had decided to leave here for now and listen to Isaya. After all, I could always come back here. Maybe even with a good plan how I could free Cain from his curse.

Isaya was much older and wiser than me. It would be stupid of me not to listen to her advice.

She looked twenty-two, but I had learned that she was actually one hundred and forty years old and had served the royal family for a long time. Because of her oath, she couldn't leave here herself, but she said she would help me. And strangely, I trusted her.

At first I didn't expect that she would see me as her friend. But she did. She was honest about that. I could see that in her eyes. She hardly had anyone here to call a friend. Mainly because she was a recluse and rarely spoke to anyone, let alone showed herself. At first she had only approached me out of her need. But I'm glad she did. I liked her.

In that respect, she kind of reminded me of myself. How I used to be in my old world. I could understand how she felt. Maybe that's why I was able to empathize with her so well. I felt close to her for some reason. And I think that feeling was mutual. She could see inside my head. She saw my past. Witnessed what I had been through. That made our connection stronger.

…

Like every morning, I sat alone in the corner of the common room and thoughtfully poked around in my breakfast with a fork. There were eggs and bacon. Actually, that was my favorite type of breakfast here. But somehow I wasn't hungry at all. I was concerned, not only with my potential escape, but also with Cain and my last argument.

I was on duty tonight. And I dreaded having to register with him as always.

What would he say if I walked in his room tonight? What would he do? I got goosebumps. I didn't want to find out at all.

"Chris, will you come with me for a moment?" The Commander ordered me suddenly, making me flinch. I hadn't noticed that he even had entered the common room. I was probably too deep in thought.

He motioned for me to follow him, which I did without hesitation.

We left the common room together. Somehow I had a queasy feeling about it. Something wasn't right here. I could see that in the commander's face.

…

After a short time I realized that we were going towards the hospital wing.

"Sir? Why are we going to the hospital wing? Did something happen?"

"Maybe you can explain this to me." The commander said grimly and stopped in front of the door of the sickroom.

The Commander pushed open the door without a word and let me enter. It didn't take me long to understand what I was seeing here.

I was literally speechless at the sight inside.

The otherwise almost empty beds in the hospital wing were occupied. Namely with the men Prince Cain had with him yesterday.

They looked awful. Like they'd all been beaten half to death. The faces were covered with bruises and lacerations. Some of them were even still spitting up some blood.

A cold shiver came over me. It hit me like a punch in the face.

I knew that something was wrong with Cain. That his alter ego is eating him from the inside. But he has never become this violent before.

It scared me. It scared me to death.

He probably got really angry when I so openly rejected him in front of the others.

Was he so angry because of me? Was that my fault? This realization made me sick. I swallowed hardly.

I tried to take a deep breath, but couldn't even manage it. My hands started shaking.

"I heard you were there yesterday too. What happened here? The men here don't want to tell me what happened." The Commander cross-examined me directly.

"I...I don't know...I left before..." I stammered, still in shock.

"What do you mean?" Asked the Commander with a frown.

"I didn't want to... take part in this... that's why I left before it really started."

"Did he get mad because of you?"

"I don't know... it could be. But..."

"…But?"

"I was just saying that something of that magnitude...would be too much for me. Nothing more" It wasn't really the whole truth. I definitely provoked Cain yesterday. However, I had assumed that somehow it would bring him back to his senses a little. Not that he would beat up his part time concubines.

The commander didn't seem too happy with this answer. It probably didn't make any sense to him either.

"You!" Suddenly a man called to my left when he saw me and made his way over to me with shaky legs.

Up close I could see that he had a hemorrhage in his right eye which was turning his entire eyeball red. When I also saw his strangulation marks, I swallowed hard.

"How could you do that?! How could you frustrate the prince like that?! Do you want us all to die?! I just wanted the damn money! They didn't tell me he'd to try to kill me!" I didn't really get the rest of his hateful tirade because my own blood was pounding in my ears too much.

I fell to my knees in despair.

"I am sorry." I whispered apathetically. Tears blurred my vision. I was only dimly aware of everything.

Something was wrong with the prince's curse. It ... he was a monster! A cold-blooded monster that didn't shy away from any violence or cruelty.

I had apparently misjudged him completely. I thought Cain could hold him down and control him. I thought that his alter ego had limits. That he couldn't do what Cain wouldn't do ...or... would he do something like that? Was it therefore possible for the monster to do this damage at all? Was Cain capable of such a thing? Was it really his alter ego, or was it maybe even Cain's own violent wish?

I somehow didn't want to believe it.

But what he had done... what he had done to these poor men... dammit, these men had nothing to do with this! He abused innocent bystanders. That was just awful.

Isaya was right. He was unstoppable. I really should get out of here before I lose my life.