Chapter nineteen - An unexpected comfort

Jess staggered back into the corridor. Shock spun into distress as tears welled behind her lashes, and a strong desire to be anywhere else sent her fleeing back down the stairs. She never imagined that Sebastian's anger and frustration in the orangery would push him to strike back in such a vicious way.

Bingley and Jane met her on the half-landing. Gareth frowned as she passed them. "Hey, Jess, wait. Is everything okay?"

She pressed her lips together and continued on, not trusting herself to answer. It wasn't until she reached the ground floor that Jess realised her mistake. If she'd gone to her room, instead of down the stairs, she would've been out of sight of any curious eyes, but that was impossible now. She couldn't face revealing the sordid tale to Laura and Gareth, and the idea of walking past Sebastian's door again turned her stomach.

Instead, she retreated into the ladies toilets, hoping that some time alone would allow her to order her scattered thoughts. How could Sebastian be so cruel? If he'd had any real feelings for her, surely he would have shown some remorse or embarrassment when she caught him with another woman.

Did he ever care for her at all? Or had it been just one more performance from him? If the latter, then he surely deserved an Oscar, for she had never doubted him for one moment.

As she slumped against the wall, blowing her streaming nose and blotting her eyes, she caught sight of her reflection in the mirror. Her face was streaked with damp tracks and her eyes were now red and blotchy. Jess mentally kicked herself. Why was she so upset over someone who had proven himself unworthy of her tears?

Because she'd really liked Sebastian, and he'd made her believe that he felt the same.

Jess had spent so long imagining her perfect Darcy that she'd mistakenly imbued Sebastian Fox with the traits of that fictional character—traits he'd neither possessed nor deserved. How could she have been so blind, so naïve, to believe she had finally found someone as wonderful as Austen's perfect creation?

A splash of cold water on her face and a few deep breaths calmed her enough to consider what she ought to do next. She couldn't stay here all evening, but neither could she face going to the green room, where too many questions would be asked. The only place she might stand a chance of being alone for a while was in the garden.

Before she had the chance to make her escape, the door opened. "Eliza, my dear!" Caroline cried, very much still in character, but one glance at Jessica's red, swollen eyes brought her to an abrupt stop. "Whatever's the matter?"

Jessica waved her away, fearing that any explanation would cause her fragile composure to crumble. She was barely holding herself together as it was. Besides, the last person she would confide in was Caroline Bingley. "Nothing's wrong...nothing. Please let me go," she begged, trying to squeeze through a doorway currently blocked by the tall woman.

"Oh no ... I knew it." Caroline's voice no longer carried its customary feigned brightness. Instead, it was warm and concerned, with a hint of an accent that Jessica hadn't noticed before. "What has he done this time?" When Jessica pursed her lips and shook her head, Caroline put a comforting arm around her shoulders as her voice softened to a whisper. "Shh. There's no need to talk about it if you'd rather not, but I can't think of leaving you alone. Not now."

Ruth's unexpected kindness broke down her defences, causing the pent-up distress inside Jessica to overflow. Fresh tears began to trickle down her cheeks.

Before Jess had time to reach for the roll of toilet paper, Ruth dug in her handbag and passed her a packet of tissues. "Come. Let's find somewhere quiet, away from here, where we can sit undisturbed. Then, when you feel ready, you can tell me all about it."

Too emotionally exhausted to put up any sort of fight, Jessica allowed herself to be led out of the house and over the lawn to the old stable block, where some of the actor's cars were parked. It wasn't as late as she'd thought and she wouldn't baulk at anything that took her further away from the Hall. Not that Jess expected Sebastian to come looking for her. Why would he, when someone else was happy to give him everything he wanted? She obviously had fewer scruples about casual sex and cared nothing for his behaviour.

Once in the car, Ruth drove towards the gravelled driveway, casting the occasional worried glance across at her passenger. Otherwise, she remained silent, allowing Jessica to sniff without judgement and giving her time to dwell on her memories.

As they reached the park gates, Ruth's phone beeped. Fumbling in her bag, she handed the phone to Jessica and asked her if she would mind reading the message.

Jess stared at the screen a moment, then said, "It's asking whether I'm with you."

"Who is it?"

She looked down at Ruth's phone again. "Laura."

"Does she know about this?"

Sniffling into a tissue, Jessica shook her head miserably. "No. At least... I didn't speak to them but they definitely saw me. I was too upset to stop and chat."

"They? Was Gareth there too?"

"Yes, they were coming up the stairs as I passed them on the way down." Jessica looked out of the car window, recognising the road they were on. "Where are we going?"

"I thought we might stop at that pub just outside Lambley."

"Please, not the Green Man." The memories associated with the country pub were still too fresh, and rekindling the memories of an otherwise happy evening wouldn't help.

"No, don't worry, there's another one. You've had a shock, so you could probably do with a drink." Ruth paused uncertainly before adding, "And if you want a shoulder to cry on, I can be that too."

Dabbing at her eyes again, Jessica turned towards her unlikely confidante. "I don't mean to sound ungrateful, but why do you want to help me?"

Ruth stared through the windscreen at the narrow country road. "For the same reason I've been trying to drop you hints all week. I've been there before and I learned my lesson the hard way. I know exactly what you're going through."

As they pulled into the car park of the Kings Head, Ruth's phone rang. Murmuring apologies, she answered it. "Hello? Yes, she's here with me." She paused as the caller spoke; Ruth rolled her eyes. "Stop worrying. No, she just needs some time alone. No, really, I don't think that would help right now. You'll just have to be patient." Only when she'd ended the call did Ruth look at Jessica. "Well, I have to hand it to him, he's very persistent when he wants to be."

"Who? Sebastian?"

Ruth slipped the phone into her coat pocket. "What did Sebastian Fox do that finally convinced you what a worthless piece of scum he is?"

Jessica dropped her eyes to the floor as she relived the memory in her mind. Hesitantly, she began to describe their argument in the orangery, where he had tried and failed to seduce her. "I'd even managed to convince myself that I needed to apologise to Sebastian." Her face felt hot as she admitted opening the door to check inside. "He wasn't alone."

Scenting a juicy bit of scandal, Ruth leant closer. "Who was it?"

"Georgiana."

"His sister?" She laughed out loud. "Well, I know she's not really his sister, but still. We've all spent the week thinking of her as his sister, which is just as bad. Poor Miss Austen is probably turning in her grave at the thought of Darcy ravishing innocent Georgiana!"

"I'm not sure ravishing is quite the right word. She didn't seem unwilling, or even innocent for that matter."

"Of course she wasn't. Stupid little fool," Ruth muttered as she ordered their drinks. They took seats at a corner table in the lounge bar. "Although I can't say I'm completely surprised. Emily wanted him almost from our first night, and she's been profoundly jealous of you, my dear. Did you not notice that she could barely bring herself to speak to you?"

"Emily? No, I didn't. We've never spoken much off-set, but I thought she was just shy."

"There's nothing shy about her, believe me. Just because she looks young enough to play an innocent sixteen-year-old we tend to forget she's twenty. You had what she wanted, which was Sebastian's full attention. Oh, she's demure enough around the older ones, I'll grant you, but I never said she couldn't act. I don't think young Emily quite understands what she's getting into, but there's no use me saying anything to her now. I tried to warn you, if you remember, but you didn't want to listen."

Jessica took in a deep breath, letting it seep out slowly. She'd taken the comments from Caroline Bingley and viewed them in the worst possible light. She now understood the full consequence of the decision they'd made at the beginning of the week. "I wish we'd never agreed to call each other by our character names. It made it more difficult to separate the person from the character they've been playing."

"You mean you were thinking of Mr. and Mrs Gardiner as your aunt and uncle? I'd hardly call Gerald a responsible role model. Not when his tastes run to younger men. And what about Aunt Gardiner? I know you haven't really had the chance to get to know Alison very well, but she wouldn't recognise maternal instinct if it invited her to tea."

Laughing now, Jessica pointed out that Mrs Green, at least, was very much like both her characters.

"Well, Lady Catherine I would agree with, but there wasn't much that was humble about her Mrs Reynolds."

"And, of course, let's not forget Miss Bingley."

"Oh my God, you've spent the week thinking me a living reincarnation of Caroline Bingley! I suppose I ought to take that as a compliment of my acting abilities." Although Ruth sounded aggrieved, the wry smile on her face confirmed she wasn't truly offended.

Feeling a little guilty that she'd misjudged Ruth, Jess apologised. "We haven't spoken much this week either, have we?"

Ruth sat back, twisting the glass between her fingers. "No, not really. Your attention was elsewhere and I didn't help that by spending so much time in my room."

"I assumed you thought we weren't good enough to associate with."

She laughed. "Yes, now you mention it I can see how that might have looked. Actually, I've been trying to write."

"A novel?"

"No, I'm working on a new play. You know that there's never enough acting work to go around. I'm hoping to supplement my income by becoming a playwright. I've been working on a particularly tricky scene, and I always concentrate better when I'm alone."

"And here I thought Miss Bingley didn't want to mix with the lower orders."

"I'll have you know that I wouldn't be seen dead in orange."

Now that she had lost some of her upper-class accent and superior airs, Jessica realised that Ruth Swale didn't seem half as much like Caroline as she had before.

"There's no wonder you wouldn't listen to my warnings if you thought I was only out to grab the handsome bastard for myself." Pausing a moment, Ruth looked thoughtfully into her half-empty wine glass, her expression now clouded and serious. "Alas, I already know Sebastian Fox far too well. Although I can be pleasant to him—even laugh and joke with him when necessary—it's a long time since I placed any trust in what he has to say."

"Did he...did he hurt you too?"

She nodded. "I went down the same road four years ago. In the end, he did much the same with me, except in my case I found him in his dressing room, declaring his undying love to two of the dancers. He thinks women are put on this earth solely for his pleasure. He loves the thrill of the chase and doesn't know how to be faithful. Whatever you're feeling at this moment, I promise you he's not worth it. Trust me, you're better off out of that relationship."