Did you know this novel was originally going to be a Danmachi fanfic? I even had a few chapters written out, but I decided against it for one simple reason, I haven't watched or read past season 2, but now I sorta regret the decision to change it to Tensura, after all, it seems like Danmachi would have been a lot easier to write, but you never know, for now I'll let y'all read the chapter I had written out before I decided on the change, keep in mind I changed my mind pretty quickly so I never got around to editing the chapter, anyway, enjoy.
"Fuck did I survive?" I say to myself, and open my eyes to look around, only to see nothing but void, and now I know this is when normal people panic but I've never really been normal so the only thought in my mind is- "FUCK I was wrong guess the afterlife does exist." Yes I know great priorities but im an atheist and a firm believer in- was a firm believer in materialism but as a believer in science I know how to accept when something is proven wrong, but even if magic exists, isn't magic just another force like the laws of physics that hold our reality together? The only difference is that it hasn't been discovered yet, but science is built upon discovering new things so I dont understand why in fiction science is always separated from magi-
"SHUT THE FUCK UP IM TRYING TO SLEEP"
Oh who was that I thought I was alone here.
"Well your not so be considerate and shut up!"
Did I say that out loud? Could have sworn I was just thinking.
"Yes you di- wait who the fuck are you and how did you get here?" The voice says.
"Well my name is Sebastian, nice to meet you on random disembodied voice in the void."
"What why is a mortal here, no better yet, how are you still sane?"
"Wow rude, just because some people aren't immortal doesn't mean you have to point it out, and why are people so obsessed with immortality sure it would be fun for a while but after a bit wouldn't it get boring? And then you can't die so your stuc-"
"Stop fucking rambling!"
"Oh sorry man it's not every day I get sent to an endless void after dying so this is a new experience for me, so how's your day been? Mines been fine other than ya know, dying."
"Oh it's been decent watched a few anime and read a few books,- wait that's not the point how did you get here?"
"I don't fucking know man I just killed myself and the next thing I know I'm here, hey what are god? Oh wait which religion was right? Is there a heaven or hell? How many gods are there? Are gods omnipotent and omniscient or just powerful? How wrong was Christianity because all their teaching were super illogical-"
"Shut up"
And suddenly a pressure lands on my body? Soul? Oh that's interesting I guess souls do exist! How interesting! I wonder how they work, "hey rob how do sou-"
"Reaper I thought I told you not to send souls to my realm anymore so why is a human soul here?"
And he's not listening great guess I'll go look around th- guess not a cage just landed on top of me, how boring, hey if magic exists I wonder if I can use it, let's see wormholes are often described as a point where space time is so warped that it's like if space is a table and the two sides are connected by a hole in the table so maybe if I imagine dragging the plane outside of the cage to the space underneath me- oh hey I'm outside now cool let's explore.
"Ok human it seems some new god was messing with your world and accidentally gave you cancer and since you weren't supposed to die yet your here 'gonna kill that guy later' anyway so let me deal with yo- HOW DID YOU GET OUT!"
"Oh hey man it's cool anyway to answer your question I didn't want to sit in a cage so I just imagine myself warping space to make a wormhole to escape."
"How is that possible? You know what I don't even care anymore let's get this over with, since your death was a result of another gods mistake im going to allow you to reincarnate with three wishes-
(Damn that's cliche)
In a new world, any questions?"
"Oh yeah what's the limit, can I ask for more wishes? Omnipotence? Omniscience? Stuff like that?"
"No"
"Ok what about something like, "I want to be the character I invision in my mind in my mind that has, for example, infinite powers?"
"No"
"Ok what about one power with multiple abilities?"
"As long as they are similar enough, yes."
"Ok I'm ready"
"Good I'll give you a while to chose- your ready to chose?"
"Yup"
"You sure?"
"Yeah man this scenario is cliche enough I've seen it in novels so I already though about it before- hey are we in a novel?"
(Fuck)
"What of course no- fuck maybe we are, *mumble mumble*"
Damn did I just give a god an existential crisis? Where's my medal, a swear that must be a steam achievement somewhere.
"Ok anyway let's get this over with before you make me any more insane, what are your three wishes."
Oh gods back, that was fast, anyway. "Yeah so first wish I want to be able to manipulate my body and mind with perfect control, such as genetics, thoughts, motivation, body shape, etc."
"Sure that's not to bad."
"Body and mind yes? Not just one or the other?"
"Yeah fine anyway second wish, go."
"Ok second wish I want reality manipulation, including, space, energy, you get the point, so long as I don't violate the laws of physics such as the law of thermodynamics."
"No to strong"
"Fine what if I have to do all the calculations in my head beforehand like accelerator."
"Fine that's ok." Ha stupid mortal no human mind can manage that much information, he wasted a wish.
"And lastly I want to have my mind have the analytical, processing, multitasking, and memory capabilities of the most powerful matrioshka brain physically possible!"
"Done, wait what's a matrioshka brain"
"Oh just a powerful computer!"
"Fine you can have that, anyway I just watched danmachi and it was fun so I'm sending you there."
"Huh whats that?"
"An anime"
"Oh cool thanks rob!"
"Bye now I hope I never see you again."
"Really this was fu-"
*sigh* "finally some peace and quite."
"YOU FUCKING IDIOT!"
"WHA, Thoth what are you doing here?"
"BETTER QUESTION IS WHY DID YOU ACCEPT THE LAST WISH!?"
"Well I felt kinda bad for him wasting a wish with the reality manipulation so I decided to let it go, why he just said it's a powerful computer?"
"POWERFUL COMPUTER!? How did such an idiot become a god? You just gave him a mind so powerful it can simulate all of reality at once!"
"What! That damn human lied to me!"
"No he didn't dumbass he did nothing wrong you're just to much of a dumbass to be making these decisions, im editing the wishes you gave him so he doesn't break reality but since we already agreed to it I can get rid of them, and now he might feel cheated by us nerfing him, im taking away your anime privileges for a century so you can think about what you've done!"
"NOOOOOOOO!"