Food Poisoning.

Hugo Fernandez wasn't having a good day.

He had barely set foot on campus, but the events leading up to this moment were already a disastrous preview of what was to come.

It all started with a dodgy burrito.

In hindsight, the meat had looked suspicious, and the sauce had tasted like it had some sort of personal vendetta against his insides.

Yet, Hugo had bravely—or foolishly—devoured it, he ate the whole thing, too eager to start his first day of college with a full stomach.

Now, sitting in the packed auditorium for orientation, Hugo felt the consequences of his reckless breakfast decision.

But what made matters worse was that he was seated directly beside the most beautiful girl in the room!

He didn't know her name, but the word 'goddess' seemed to be a fitting description for her.

She was radiant, her presence a beacon of everything Hugo was trying to impress.

His heart raced—not from romance, but from the bubbling chaos within.

Something was threatening to erupt in his body, and if it did, he wouldn't be able to bear the consequences!

"Welcome, new students, to your journey of higher learning," the dean's voice boomed across the vast hall, the echo making Hugo feel like he was being lectured by a god.

"Today marks the beginning of your future!"

Hugo didn't feel like his future was starting. He felt like his digestive system was staging a violent coup.

His stomach twisted, gurgled, and then twisted some more. He discreetly clenched his fists, praying that this wasn't happening.

Not now. Not on his first day.

He tried to focus on the speech. The dean was talking about "opportunities" and "growth," but all Hugo could hear was the growing symphony of doom from his own stomach.

Sweat gathered at his temples, and he shifted uncomfortably in his seat.

That's when the pressure hit his nose.

He felt a sneeze coming, and it was coming fast. His nose tingled, his eyes watered, and the sneeze built up like a force of nature inside him.

He raised his hand to stifle it, but fate had other plans. Just as the dean paused for dramatic effect and the auditorium couldn't be anymore quiet, Hugo's body betrayed him.

HAAA-CHOOO!

It wasn't a sneeze; it was an event.

It echoed across the silent auditorium like a thunderclap, rattling the windows and possibly the souls of everyone within earshot.

But it wasn't just the sound that horrified Hugo. Oh no, life was never that kind to him. The sneeze, in its ferocity, had triggered a chain reaction—a loud, unmistakable fart followed right on its heels.

Frasfd!

The deadly duet of sneeze and flatulence bounced off the walls of the hall like they had been shot out of a cannon.

Everyone froze.

The entire auditorium froze!

Pretty little goddess sitting by the side turned to Hugo, her eyes wide with shock. Some students began to snicker, others whispered, and one poor girl in the front row even gasped.

Hugo's mortification reached new heights as he saw the astonishment—and amusement—on his goddess' face. He might as well have been the main event of a disastrous circus act.

It was so embarrassing!

The dean, mid-speech, stared in Hugo's direction as if he had just witnessed a crime. Rows of students turned in their seats to see the source of the calamity.

Hugo sat there, motionless, his hand still hovering in front of his face, utterly betrayed by his own body.

He felt the eyes of what seemed like hundreds of students boring into him. He might as well have been on stage, with a spotlight illuminating his complete and utter humiliation.

He tried to sink deeper into his chair, praying the fabric would somehow swallow him whole.

He was experiencing a social death on his very first day of college!

The dean cleared his throat awkwardly. "As I was saying…" he continued, but the damage was done. The giggles were spreading through the crowd, like wildfire through dry brush.

Hugo's face turned beet red as he slumped lower in his seat.

His internal monologue was spiraling into full panic mode.

'Okay, this is fine. Just act like it didn't happen. Maybe they'll forget. Maybe they'll think it was someone else.'

But he knew better. He could feel the judgement from every direction.

People were already making mental notes: Ah yes, that guy who fart-sneezed during orientation.

His stomach rumbled again, threatening further embarrassment, and Hugo knew he had to make an escape before something worse happened!

He scanned the room for the nearest exit and, without thinking, shot up from his seat.

Big mistake.

The sudden movement caused another gurgle, and with a mortifying squelch, Hugo realised he was on the verge of an even bigger disaster.

Pow! Pow! Pow!

Hugo's anus began to spit rounds like a machine gun. With every step, a fart was released, and no amount of 'squeezing' could keep them in!

He half-jogged, half-waddled down the aisle, trying to move as discreetly as possible—impossible when over a hundred incredulous pairs of eyes were already glued to him.

The murmurs grew louder as he reached the back of the auditorium, and someone even whispered, "Is that guy okay?"

He wasn't.

He absolutely wasn't.

Bursting through the double doors, Hugo practically sprinted for the nearest restroom, which, of course, was on the other side of the building.

He dodged a group of students, narrowly avoiding a collision with a guy carrying a stack of books, and prayed that he could make it to the bathroom before his insides made their grand exit.

When he finally neared, he practically leapt toward the nearest restroom, praying it was unoccupied.

The restroom door swung open with a squeak as Hugo stumbled inside. The place was mercifully empty.

The next few minutes were nothing short of a personal apocalypse, but at least he was alone.

No witnesses. No judgmental stares. Just Hugo, his digestive system, and the unforgiving reality of food poisoning!

When it was over, he sat there, exhausted and humiliated.

'First day of college and I've already hit rock bottom.'

He would forever be "that guy" to his peers. His social death was complete, and it had only been a few hours since he arrived.

Finally, after what felt like an eternity, Hugo emerged from the restroom, a mix of relief and humiliation still lingering. He wasn't sure if he would ever be able to show his face in that auditorium—or anywhere on campus—again.

He was just about to disappear into the anonymity of the student body, when something strange happened.

A soft ding echoed in his mind.

He froze.

A mysterious girl's voice, clear and smug, echoed in his head.

[Ding! Fate has aligned, and your woeful destiny with women has reached the heavens! You have been granted the Ultimate Harem System!!!]

Hugo blinked, confused and still slightly nauseous.

'Wait… what?'