South Park

Author's note: I now have a p-word as you all know, so if you feel like reading 5 advanced chapters at the measly price of $3, then do join. The link is in this book's bio, or you can just search 'Archonstine' followed by p-word on your browser.

Also, join my discord will ya? For movie and tv-show recommendations and character images. And also it's the one place where I ask you all for suggestions. The link is in this book's bio.

P.S, donate some power stones while you're at it. And maybe... write up a review?

8th August 1997 (Friday)

Ricky Stirling (POV)

Serene.

If there is one word that perfectly encapsulates my life since that banger of a date till now, it's serene.

Over 30 days without any unexpected incidents occurring inexplicably, and things just going according to plan.

Not a single hitch anywhere.

My movie? Well, filming wrapped up over 3 weeks ago, and so did the soundtrack.

And by soundtrack, I'm not just referring to the score. To give the movie a 60s feel, I had to track down a few songs from their era that would go well with certain scenes, and moonlight as background music.

Tracking them down was no biggy really, it took a few hours at most, but purchasing their licensing rights to use them for this movie? That was another matter entirely.

But luckily, that was none of my concern. Nope, it was Dixon's.

See Dixon as a producer, had to be seen pulling his weight a little, since almost everything even remotely logistical was being taken care of by daddy dearest, so I assigned him a series of tasks that would be done a lot faster if a bigshot in a bespoke suit tried throwing his weight around a little.

And lo and behold! There was not a single mess that I had to clean up! Apparently, Dixon might be an asshole alright, but he's definitely good at what he does for a living. It's how he managed to climb to his position without any prior connections to exploit in Paramount.

Granted his father probably pulled a few strings somewhere, considering he used to be one of the biggest agents in the 40s, even briefly representing one of the most prolific leading men to have ever graced the silver screen… Cary Grant himself.

Yep, he exists here. Though his career is vastly different from his OTL counterpart, most notably the number of patriotic movies he starred in before 1945, exploiting WW2 sentiments for years at length.

This marred his romantic persona a bit, but he still maintained a footing in the genre, managing to build a legacy for himself in American cinema.

Anyways, Dixon promised swift results, and he more than delivered, not only meeting deadlines but also surpassing a couple of them, which led to post production, starting days before it was going to.

And just like my past full-length features, I helmed the editing and sound mixing, steering the ship with an iron hand.

So all in all, I was way ahead of schedule, and along with editing, I also engaged in the marketing efforts for Good Will Hunting, leaning heavily into the relatability factor of it, and mostly engaging in press junkets and interviews.

Good Will Hunting didn't really have any particular X-factor, through which I could develop a radical marketing strategy to make it go viral. It was a fairly traditional psychological feel-good drama, with stellar performances and a tight screenplay. Obviously my directing and editing efforts will be lauded, even more considering it's only my 2nd venture overall, so I'm looking forward to that.

But before the Venice Film Festival, there's not much I or anyone can do to assure its quality, beyond traditional marketing approaches, to get the word out of its existence.

Sure, the trailer mostly garnered positive reviews from industry insiders, and general movie-goers, and the interviews worked out pretty well.

But the strategy this time relies on factors that are simply beyond the control of our marketing team. The core of their plan checks out though, and I more than support it.

Their plan mainly involves capitalizing on the critical acclaim it'll undoubtedly receive in the festival, and so they set the release date to 4th September.

You see, Good Will Hunting has been chosen to compete for the Golden Lion, so we can already claim it as a nomination for the prestigious category, but our claims won't truly be validated before 7th September, the day the awards will be distributed with much fanfare.

Now, we can't keep the dates too close, considering a 4 day weekend gross would really help in establishing positive results overall, and 7th September is a fucking Sunday of all days.

So 4th Sept, on Thursday, Good Will Hunting will release in over 3000 screens across the nation.

And the very next day, it'll be released worldwide, with dubbing and subtitles in over 12 languages…

Yep, we paid extra for that. Since we had some leftover budget, we decided to use it all up, instead of returning it to the studio, considering how meager the sum was in the grand scheme of things.

Plus dubbing wasn't really as expensive as expected. Why? Well because… I did it.

All languages, all scenes, all characters.

…

I still remember Pacino's face when I spoke Italian with the fluency of a native, imitating his voice to perfection.

Sigh… those were the days.

And then he had to fucking screw me over for Disney of all things.

Not to worry, I'm sure he'll come running right back, once CMIYC hits the theaters on December 25th, a Thursday.

It's a nice little coincidence for sure, considering how Thursday is quite literally the best day to release a movie any goddamn week, and the fact that Christmas is a cornerstone of our marketing campaign doesn't exactly hurt.

Beyond marketing efforts, a lot of planning took place as well, since Daryl pointed out how I could leverage the influence I will gain once the movie releases, and how I needed to be prepared to be thrust into the public spotlight without any reprieve.

And thus, came forth a series of strategic charitable donations, made by me to select institutions that I trust will utilize my funds optimally, and anchor a certain reputation to my name.

Crafting a PR image is truly one of the most tediously frustrating things I've ever had the displeasure to plan in this unhinged timeline.

But disregarding all that, I have also had my fair share of fun this past month, taking part in all kinds of appealing activities with my girlfriend, the delightful Miss. Theron.

Yep, I can call her my girlfriend now. We talked it over, and long story short? We're both willing to give it a fair shot.

Why, just last week, we did one of the boldest things we'd ever done in our relationship.

We went public with the nicknames.

Now the press knows my nickname for Charlize, and vice versa, which provided a little fuel for the tabloids, who were rushing around to cover our little 'workplace romance', as they had mistakenly characterized it.

I wasn't about to correct them though, considering they weren't really slandering me, and it was free publicity for my film, something I would never shy away from since I want some robust box-office figures to cement my credentials as a commercial film-maker of the highest order.

And so, things have been going steady for a while now, no new wrenches in any plans that I know of.

…

…

9th August 1997 (Saturday)

Ricky Stirling (POV)

"You want me to- what?"

"Do you really want me to repeat myself?" I side-eyed, only to get a fiery reply.

"Do you really want to test me by getting snarky?"

A moment of silence followed.

"That's what I thought. Now, tell me again, and this time- you trim the damn fat from your little 'pitch'. Understand?" Dad questioned, before taking a seat behind his mahogany desk, his left leg on his right thigh as he proceeded to make himself comfortable, before focusing on me.

"Loud and clear. Now… I'll simplify things for you, and skip the financial hyperbole… I want Stirling Studios to purchase a significant stake in a television channel, going by the name of 'Comedy Central'. To be honest, I would have purchased a stake myself through a holding company, but my cash reserves are running low right now and my liquidity is just not at the level I want it to be. So I'm here in your office… pitching you a stock."

"Pitching me a stock… like one of those wall street jackasses. Son… this channel, 'Comedy Central'," Damn, were the air quotes necessary? "I haven't even heard of it. Which cable providers-"

"Barely any."

"... What?"

"Listen dad, this is not some frivolous expense on my part. Comedy Central is not on any major cable providers, and its popularity is at an all time low actually-"

"Then why the hell do you want to jump into that well?"

"Because in a matter of days at best, that well is gonna transform into a fucking well-spring! And once the floodgates open, there's no stopping it! I know, cause I checked."

"... And what did you find out exactly? What could you have possibly run into, to prompt such a passionate pitch?"

"In 4 days, on 13th August, a revolutionary animated show is going to capture the hearts and minds of households across America. 'South Park', as it's being called, is going to change things around. The Nielsen ratings? I saw the pilot that was being floated around, and I guarantee you… it's gonna set records Dad. Now, the contract was airtight, nothing we can do to acquire the rights to the show, but the channel itself? I mean right now, Viacom owns a majority stake, but… guess which 2 companies own 12.5% apiece of it? Clayton and Paramount. Close to 30% is in the hands of independent financiers, idiots who don't realize the gold mine they've got in their hands! They think it's a fucking paddy field, producing wheat. We're not gonna get a chance like this again Dad-"

"So you're saying-"

"2 weeks. The next 2 weeks, buy up whatever you can. And then see the results for yourself. The market valuation is subpar right now, but once 'South Park' debuts… shit's gonna the fan. And since we don't want it flying all over our faces, we buy the fuckin' fan… What do you say? You in?"

"... Prepare a report, and leave it on my des-"

I slam the desk with my hands, rattling it, "NO!"

Dad just stared at me in outrage, too hungover on my disrespectful behavior to see the merits of my idea in full. "Give me one good reason why I shouldn't throw you out right now?!"

"How about 5 million reasons?"

"... What?"

"South Park season 1's finale, will easily net over 5 million views. A Nielsen rating of over 7.5%... we don't have time for a report. My predictions? They aren't a possibility dad… it's inevitable. You wanna compete with the Big 5 right?" I change tracks at the last second, to wipe off his remaining hesitance.

"This is the first step dad. Look at all of them, Warner Bros, Universal, Clayton… they all not only branched out, but built new fuckin' trees from scratch. That's why they're a forest, while we're here sidelined as shrubbery. They all invested in cable, hell, they have their own flagship channels, with some of the biggest shows of all time! We don't have that, we'll probably never match their success if we enter the game this late… but we're not truly entering are we? We'll just be piggybacking on a participant, someone who's gonna a major fucking player down the road-"

"Yeah but- it's a risky investment Ricky. It's not as simple as you're making it out to be-"

"Have I ever failed you?"

"... Wha- No! It's not about you Ri-"

"Do you doubt me?"

"Not really- not all actually. Your predictions have a tendency of being accurate as hell. But I need more information Ricky-"

"I'm right here Dad. I know everything. Ask me whatever you want, I've got all day." I say, before proceeding to lounge back on the chair.

"... You're not gonna let this go are you?" He asked, his voice distinctly tired and exasperated.

"Why ask, when you already know the answer?"

"Conformation for one… Fine. I'll call a board meeting tomorrow. You'll tell them everything you told me right now. And for god's sake… behave yourself tomorrow." He chastised lightly, before promptly dismissing me.

Huh. I guess I got to some part of him, otherwise he would have flat out shut me down, before shooing me away with his… shoe.

Get it? Shooing me away with his… shoe?

…

"I'm hilarious."