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Reborn as the Clown Prince

Read all Synopsis! Original name: The Clown/Клоун An ordinary student gets into the most famous psychopath of the DC universe and tries to become a hero. -------- Warnings: 1. There is a lot of fluff and the fanfiction atmosphere will be closer to the animated series "Harley Quinn" 2019. 2. There are sex scenes and quite cringe-worthy (there are a couple between the girls), but in general they are hardly enough for ten chapters in one volume. 3. Despite the "System" tag, the system is often mentioned only at first chapters, but after the 12th chapter it practically does not appear even in the form of alerts (I have no task to gain volume stupidly due to repeated stats), besides, the protagonist himself uses it little, preferring independent development. 4. Slow development of the protagonist. -------- Disclaimer: hello everyone, I have to inform you that an unscrupulous translator of my fanfiction has appeared on the site (FanFictionForge / FanFictionPremium / SpaceMate): "Reborn as a Joker"). I planned to do the translation myself, but after I finish the second volume. The first volume was completed a year and a half ago. Unfortunately, circumstances forced me to act earlier, so I'm posting all the currently open chapters here. At the moment, 192 chapters in English (DeepL) are for free in the public domain here: https://boosty.to/logri/posts/84a7f749-2050-4d6b-99bc-596965b6eb5c P.S.: at least two translated chapters every day, since I'm still writing the continuation of the story, and I spend about 12 hours on each chapter (in Russian).

Logri · Tranh châm biếm
Không đủ số lượng người đọc
200 Chs

What came after

Harley poured herself shot after shot, trying to distract herself from sad thoughts. The people around her did not interfere, realizing that the girl was in shock. To think that not only Joker had traded her for a stupid clone, but also, in fact, the crazy clown-prince had given his most loyal assistant to some left-handed man.

Suddenly Jim Gordon landed on a neighboring chair and, splashing himself with some whiskey, knocked over the glass in a volley.

"Ugh," he sighed heavily, slumping his shoulders.

"Why are you so worried?" Harley asked glumly, still staring at the empty bottle with sad eyes.

"Don't you get it yet?" The commissioner turned slightly to watch the guards pack up the criminals while Arkham and Wayne saw off the numerous guests (after being questioned by the detectives, of course). - It wasn't the Knight of the Moon Prism, or whatever he called himself, but the Joker himself that saved my life..." he touched his neck, where the bullet scar was white.

"Oh..." the girl looked sympathetically at her interlocutor.

"Uh-huh," the head of the police department said meaningfully, staring unfocused at the bar.

The crowd dissipated a bit and the bottle showed the bottom.

"I don't know what you're worrying about," Jim said suddenly, coming out of his gloomy thoughts for a while, "but think about it. Arkham managed to keep you out of the asylum and prison, he's obscenely rich, he's got some games, he's not a freak, he loves you after all.

"Well, you're right, but it's still an unpleasant situation," the blonde replied sadly.

"Commissioner, we're done," one of the detectives approached Gordon, interrupting the conversation.

"Okay, I'll be right there," the red-haired man stood up heavily, swaying a little. - We'll catch your ex," he patted the girl on the shoulder and headed towards the subordinates.

As soon as the last stranger left the estate, Harley squealed with joy and threw herself on Jay's neck, sitting nearby, who was also slowly sipping on alcohol, lost in his own thoughts.

"We did it! It was freakin' awesome!!!

"Oh, Ms. Quinzel, take it easy. There's a good chance my old bones won't be able to survive your raptures," the green-haired man muttered, setting aside the half-drunk glass.

"If it wasn't for your help, I'd have to complicate the plan. Besides, there aren't many people in the world I could trust with such a responsible role, you and maybe Bats, to be exact. But your boss doesn't really fit the bill," Joker entered the room with another Harley, dressed in a regular tracksuit, smiling at me with a thirty-two smile.

The madman's companion looked very displeased.

"Mr. J!" The blonde behind the bar switched to a new target and jumped on top of Joker, hugging him with all her limbs.

"Good girl," the clown prince kissed the girl on the top of her head. - That was perfect. Jim was definitely impressed, and so were the other guests.

"Urrrrrrrr," she purred, snuggling into her lover's arms.

"Hey, can someone take the illusion off me?" said a disgruntled Harley-in-a-sports-suit.

"In two hours, the spell will wear off on its own. I'm sorry, Dick, I've invested a lot to make sure it doesn't break at the worst possible moment," Joker replied, still fondling his faithful assistant.

"Shit.

"Don't use that language," Bruce Wayne said to the teenager. - It's one thing when the role calls for it, but it's another thing in normal speech. You're my son, so you have to live up to it.

 

***

 

It was not too convenient to continue hanging out in the bar, so we all moved to the kitchen, celebrating the successful completion of the case and eating snacks.

Amazingly, my brilliant plan went off like clockwork! I don't know if it was the Earth's help again, or if it was the fact that it was edited by the Greatest Detective, but now Jay Arkham and Harleen Quinzel can live the quiet life of good citizens and at the same time continue to roam the streets at night, doing good and bringing justice in the characters of the Joker and Harley Quinn to various criminal elements.

The slap was a little too much, though. The girl was too much in character, as if she'd actually dumped the old Joker, but looking at the happy face of the blonde clinging to me, I decided not to bring it up. Hell, that scene fit the plan perfectly.

To be frank, I felt a stone fall from my soul. I'm not saying that the role of the Knight of Moonlight was too much for me, but I felt a kind of incompleteness, like a small pebble in your shoe and you can't shake it out. And damn it, I just love the Joker character! But no... I'm wrong, I don't like playing the clown prince of the underworld, and the character and the way of thinking just don't fit: I don't have the necessary cruelty, and moral boundaries get in the way; but the role of the trickster suits me just fine.

In retrospect, I still can't believe we actually did it. The training at Gloomy Mouse's house wasn't enough, but it was important. Without it, Bats would have screwed me and my brilliant plan. Still, the safety of people was paramount for a superhero, and the taboo spell that forbade the use of firearms in a certain area was designed to ensure it. Not only that, but before the party he had to visit a couple of Penguin's warehouses and put runes on all the shooting toys intended to be handed over to the mafia, so that they couldn't even fire on purpose after contact with the spells. And that's me not even mentioning a few illusions and mind-affecting spells so that it wouldn't occur to any of the mobsters to take people hostage using ordinary cutlery.

No matter what you say, it's incredibly difficult to defeat a mage in a prepared area, and I'm not the strongest wizard yet and can only use a small part of an incredibly extensive arsenal.

Soon the party was over, and my lovely assistant and I went home. To be more precise, the girl went home, while I still had some important things to do.

Leaving the Aston in the middle of the road, I pulled out a stool-type scooter stashed in the woods, bought two days ago at a flea market, after which the new transportation quickly took me to an unremarkable two-story house on the southwestern outskirts of the city.

~Tzee-y-young, Tzee-you-young~

The bell rang nastily.

The door ajar, clanking with a taut chain.

"What do you want?" A stern voice asked.

"Hello," I said, smiling my most naive smile. - I have a package for Vincenzo. Does he live here?

My interlocutor tensed.

You bet! The fact that one of the bosses of the Maroni family managed to survive the assassination attempt knows a very narrow circle of people, which hardly includes a not once suspicious courier in a brown delivery service uniform and a small package in his hands.

"Wait a couple minutes.

I was getting a little bored when the door suddenly opened, revealing a two-meter tall man with the edge of his sports jacket tugging suspiciously.

"Inside. Now. Boss wants to talk to you.

Our not-so-friendly group passed through a short corridor and up to the second floor, stopping before a carved door guarded by another thug. I was thoroughly searched, my package gutted, the tablet hidden in it scrutinized, and then let into a room that looked more like a hospital room.

A ventilator, a cardiogram monitor with a nasty beeping sound, a few drips and a comfortable couch with an exhausted man lying on it.

"Who are you and why have you come?" The sick man wheezed.

Despite the dire situation (a few grams of lead and clinical death for a full five minutes does not add to health), the eyes of the interlocutor looked at me incredibly firmly.

"Tof-fi White is a courier," I answered, feigning nervousness. - I was asked to deliver a package to Vincenzo, but it was opened by the man at the door," I said, my hands shaking as I held out the clipboard.

"Ahem... Carl, take a look.

A gangster named Carl took the technique away from me and after a brief manipulation exclaimed in surprise:

"Here is the current location of First!

With a lurch, the boss took the clipboard from his subordinate, after which a wicked smile graced his face.

"Huh... Sounds about right... Who gave it to you?

"I got it at the warehouse. I'm sorry, I'm just a delivery guy.

"Okay... Pay the guy back, okay," he emphasized on the last word.

Five minutes later I was standing on the porch, clutching three hundred bucks in my hands and with an admonition to forget everything I'd seen here. It might seem strange to some that I'd been let go just like that, but the Maroni family wasn't in a position to draw undue attention to itself by leaving the corpses of unhappy couriers who were one hundred percent reporting to the warehouse, and the spell of tranquility an ordinary person could hardly conjure up.

Heh, I hope Vincenzo will be able to make good use of this information, he was in charge of the family's forceful actions for a reason.

 

***

 

The next day was all about finishing up the little things before going to Brazil. You can't just take off. It was necessary to personally supervise the transportation of Fries's wife to the new place of residence, to discuss the future defense with Dershowitz once again, to watch an unplugged comedy with Abby, to hang out a little with Mouse in the library, and at the same time to tell the redhead how the fund-raiser had gone. I also need to buy a portable house with a satellite dish and order its delivery to a remote island so I don't have to worry about building a normal house, charge crystals in Shadow Peak, create a stock of magic dust, and, of course, don't forget about the night watch. I can't wait to see the faces of the bandits when they are officially detained by the Joker.

The plans were global, but it started with a trivial feeding of Frankie and watching a movie in the home theater in the company of two beautiful ladies.

"Have sex already," Abby said when Harley once again reached into my pants, distracting the dryad from the action on the screen.

"Yay!" The blonde rejoiced, pouncing on me with hot kisses.

"Uh, are you sure you don't mind?" I asked my guest, briefly pulling away from my faithful assistant, who had already unbuttoned my shirt.

"Yeah, but don't make any noise. It's disturbing.

"Oh, yes," my companion sighed erotically as she sat on my cock, for which she had to get rid of her panties and pull up her short skirt a little.

"Keep it down, sweetheart," I covered the girl's mouth with a gentle kiss.

Harley was several times more active in the presence of onlookers, and to be honest, I liked the attention of the green conservationist. At times, she looked at our couple, thinking we weren't noticing.

"Ah, yes! Yes! Yes! Yes!" the blonde quickly peaked with a violent cumming spurt, then snuggled into my neck, moaning softly.

"Is it really that nice?" The dryad suddenly asked, looking at us unashamedly.

"Do you want to try it?" A lustful smile came to my face against my will.

Heh, if this works out, I'll have two whole powerful avatars in girls.

"Yes," the beauty replied firmly, completely unconfused.

"Sunshine, will you give way to your friend?" I gently shook my beloved.

"Huh? Yeah," the girl got off me quickly and stared at Abby excitedly.

After a couple of seconds, my cock was bravely ridden by Green's avatar, having first removed the interfering leaves from my groin. It was softly pleasant and very warm inside her green cavern, but natural lubrication was a problem, but fortunately, my semen from the previous salvo allowed me to enjoy the leisurely penetration of her tight pussy.

"I don't feel anything," the Forest Keeper said calmly, her face unchanged as she lowered her hips fully. She even moved a little and rubbed her breasts, following Harley's lead. - Nothing at all," Abby said, as if on purpose.

"It hurts my pride a little, you know," I grudgingly remarked, seeing the small bump that protruded around the dryad's flat tummy.

"That doesn't change the fact that there are certain pleasures my body can't enjoy. That's a shame.

"Yeah, sad," my assistant said sadly. - Oh, can Mr. J fuck you in the throat? You can't feel anything and you can't choke anyway," the blonde returned her enthusiasm.

"I missed the plot anyway," Abby looked sadly at the screen. - Let's give it a try. What do we do?

"Great! Lie on your back right here and tilt your head back," my perverted assistant quickly organized a suitable place, removing the armrests from a couple of chairs.

I would like to note that the dryad's mouth was above all praise. It was even more pleasant in her mouth than in her pussy! Besides, Swampy liked this kind of sex for some reason, at least this time she was actively working with her tongue and did not make any attempts to pull away or express dissatisfaction in any other way.

"Oh, yeah," I breathed out through clenched teeth as I began to flood Nature's throat with hot seed after a couple minutes of friction. My stomach felt strangely empty.

"It's good. I want more," the green beauty said suddenly as she sucked up the rest like a vacuum cleaner.

"Hey, we have to share," Harley resented this kind of turn.

"Really?" I was a little surprised.

Like, my favorite has her roof a little off and is a bit of a pervert along with her patroness, but here's Abby... Hmm, or are all the avatars a bit of a dick?

"Yeah, now I understand why you do it all the time. It feels really good. I liked it.

"Sunshine, why don't you give in?" I asked my favorite blonde. - We'd be out of town soon, and it was unlikely we'd see each other again anytime soon, even if we brought the bonsai with us.

"No, no, no, no," she shook her head negatively. - Only one at a time, or together. In fact, let her give me a lick, if she likes working with her tongue so much," the girl's eyes turned different colors.

To make a long story short, I didn't leave for my meeting with Fryce until around one o'clock in the afternoon, but I can't say I was too upset about the slight delay. Although, to be honest, it was a little more complicated than I had originally thought. It wasn't the intercourse itself, it was the fact that Abby had somehow managed to slowly steal my bajillion during the blowjob! According to the logs, that's three units each time. It doesn't seem like much, but it's definitely not worth it if I don't want to suddenly run out of divine energy for pumping or healing.

As the Aston, driven by my indispensable assistant, raced through the city, I surfed the Internet, stumbling upon an article about the "unmasking" of the Joker and Jay Arkham. My performance had clearly made a big impression on the audience and the journalists present at the fundraiser. No one even thought to connect the two personalities, and Arkham was made out to be a victim of circumstance.

Heh, here comes the news about the First! A satisfied smile crept onto his face. Vincenzo's men had worked just fine, even though they were the fighting wing of the family. They'd quietly entered the detention center, quietly given the bastard a Sicilian tie, and quietly left without disturbing the guards or the other guests.

The decision to dump the First after the Joker's official return came incredibly easily to me. I'm sure the doctor's former patient, even after a full course of rehabilitation at Arkham Asylum, would have caused a lot of bloodshed not only for me, but for the whole of Gotham, so the way out of this difficult situation was obvious. Occam's Razor in all its glory. Ha ha ha, literally a razor. That's funny.

We soon arrived at the island with the psykers and descended to the lower levels along with quite a crowd of people.

"Victor, are you okay?" I asked the orange and blue prisoner as I watched the hired workers carefully load the capsule with his wife onto a large cart.

"I'm fine. Nora said you're trustworthy.

"Mm-hmm, okay.

Hell, I don't seem to have any adequate acquaintances other than Alfred. Although Bats' butler, in my opinion, is a saint who should be memorialized during his lifetime. Not only did he play "Return of the Joker" without question, but he agreed to look after Frankie while we were away. I wasn't too worried about the plant, as well as about the health of the Wayne estate's inhabitants, because over the past few days I had managed to share enough mana with the unusual pet to give it the rudiments of reason.

After placing the sleeping beauty in her new apartment, located in a two-story building in the west of Gotham, I went with Harley first to Shadow Peak, to charge the diamonds with neutral mana, and then to visit Mousey, where I stayed until the evening.

It was an eventful night.

The Joker-hero caused an unprecedented stir among the criminal elements. At times, it seemed that criminals crawled out onto the streets of Gotham just to see this unusual phenomenon. The police, too, were too active, trying to catch me, but they didn't have a chance, because one hero had learned his lesson and was getting away from the scene of justice. Eh, it's even a little sad that this is practically a one-time action. Still, I've already completed all the business in Gotham, which means there's no point in postponing my vacation any longer. Big world, wait for me!