One step Forward

It's been a month since then, and I couldn't understand this man. I glanced at his figures who were standing next to me, washing the dishes. I can't understand him at all. He kept doing this thing where he would avoid me for a week and help me do chores for two or three days and then he came back ghosting me in this house. For the whole month! Right after he confessed that he might fall for me!

And the silence between us is too loud for me right now. And I seem to hear every movement he makes whenever I'm with him. Oh, I wish I just drifted off and muted every single movement he made but it wasn't that case whenever I'm with him. He's been fidgeting for a while now.

What did he want? And why is he acting like this? Because of the makeup thing? It is so absurd. I am a woman in the first place and I can wear whatever I want, whether I'm a housekeeper or not! It's light makeup too! Why he's so bothered about it?

"Do you need something?" I finally asked him with a sigh. He is so tiring to handle. And what's more tiring is I am bothered by his behaviour. And what's more bizarre is I'm pissed when he ignores me and acts like this for the whole month. It's suffocating.

"Nope..." he sighed too.

"You..." I put down the plate and looked at him straight. "What do you want from me?" He is annoying.

"Nothing!" he said, shrugging his shoulders off. "I'm just helping."

I see...he's playing dumb.

"Well, I don't need your help. And besides, aren't you supposed to avoid me?" I continued washing the dishes and pushed him away with my hand.

"I'm not avoiding you..." I flinched when his voice vibrated through my ears, I could see his figure from the corner of my eyes, as he leaned forward his hands trapping me between the sink and him.

"You just give me butterflies that I'm having a hard time staying close with you."

The heck? Why does he like this?

"Am I the only one who feels nervous whenever I'm with you?" I can feel his gaze, it's burning. I slowly looked at him and our eyes met. His eyes slowly dropped to my lips as he hissed and smiled, "Do you hate it? When I keep my distance from you, princess? Perhaps, you felt lonely and left out?"

"I don't know..." I'm lost at keeping my eyes on him, averted my eyes to my sink, and closed the water. Now all I can hear is my heartbeat and his whispers.

"Then...are you, perhaps, nervous too?" Yes! I do, but I can't say it. I could feel my face burning, I hope I'm not red. "Pretty," he said.

Pretty? Who? Me? I wish I could say he's prettier because he is drop-dead gorgeous. His hand slowly crawled into mine and rubbed it using his thumb. It's warm. Enough to send another wave of heat to me.

"Look at me, princess." He said softly but it's a firm word. More like a command. Damn it, I'm a sucker for his voice. I turned my head so I could meet his gaze.

"Am I allowed to stick closer? From now on?" He leaned closer, and I could feel his heat from my back.

"Why?" Damn my voice cracked. Shit! He was all looking good, sounds good and I just cracked my voice at the moment where I should sound cooler. He chuckles at my question.

"That's so cute...but you sure you don't know why Maddison?" His burning and unwavering gaze locked deep into my eyes, as his eyes dilated widely. It's so strange to see that. But he dares to ask such a question when he's avoiding me, ignoring me, and doing chores without saying a word. Then he asked?

"It's because I fell for you, hard! I'm crazy about it, I want you...I need you, I can't hold back my feelings when I'm with you and oh... princess, if you can read my mind right now...you would know why I'm doing this." he said as he breathed heavier.

"Don't you have a girlfriend? The one that I saw on my first day working?" He suddenly looked down and sighed. Which made me more curious about what he said and what I saw.

"She's naked that day," I muttered.

He bites his bottom lips as he struggles to find his word. Which a little bit pissed me off. Hah!

"Doesn't convince me enough. Back off, I have work to do."

"She's not my girlfriend..." he seems to be having a hard time explaining. "She's just..."

"A fling?" I cut him off, pushed his hand off the sink and escaped from his trap. Of course, who would fall for me? He is obviously after something else.

My body!

Not that I have such an alluring body, but what else about me that this man wants? Who has nothing? Me? Don't make me laugh!

I wipe my hands on the towel and open the fridge.

Ah, I hate this feeling.

I heard a thud sound next to me so I glanced at him. He rested his head on the fridge door, while his fingers played with my pinky.

"I stop seeing her since I know I have feelings for you, and I won't meet anyone else except you. I promise." He curled his pinky around mine and glanced at me. "I swear! You can kill me if I lied to you. Can I get one chance from you? Hm?"

"You are suspicious and despicable." I sighed. He smiled at me and pulled me into his chest. Oh, please know that I feel like an easy girl whenever I'm around him. For him to push and pull me like this.

Maybe I am easy after all.

"Can you hear that?" he asked, putting my head closer to his chest. His heartbeat thumps hard as if he just climbed up the 56th floor using the stairs.

"I promise that this will be your favourite sound. If you allow me, I'll make sure you will feel like this too," he whispered sugar-coated words. I'm scared of this feeling but it feels warm, and I don't hate it.

I looked up to see his face, and he looked up too.

"Why did you look up?" I asked him, nudging his shirt to look down. I never noticed how different our heights are, but it's hurting my neck to keep looking up so I pushed him away, but he pulled me back in, looking down with a frown.

He is bright red. He's red? I laughed, it's so cute! God, I wish I could see this every day.

"Stop laughing." He put his hand on my face and pushed me away while he tried to escape from the kitchen, but he stopped and walked back to me and hugged me again.

"Damn it, now that I heard your giggle, this might be addictive. You need to be responsible!"

I muffled my laughter with my hands. I'm scared of this feeling. I'm scared...am I even allowed to feel this? Is it okay for me to feel it?

I feel good! As if someone was tickling my heart.

I looked up again. He is still red. And I'm sure, me too.

"You said you'd fall for me, does that mean you love me?" His face is getting even redder. He muffled my mouth using his hand as he laughed by himself. But I pushed it away.

"You shouldn't have teased me, Maddison."

"I'm not. I'm asking." I squirmed.

"I just...don't know this feeling, I never received a confession from any man before... I just want confirmation. Are you perhaps in love with me?" It's true, I don't even know what's tickling my heart right now, it's uncomfortable and I was only being forced before. And...would he still say that he fell for me or be disgusted if I showed him my scars?

"Then should we try it first? If you hate it, you can break my heart and run away from me, but I'm a very persistent man and I'll make sure you won't get away from me, but of course, we can try, not that you can escape from me after that though," he said, released me from his hug.

Is he threatening me or joking?

"Does that even make sense?"

"It is. Now you're mine," he said proudly, pushing me out of the kitchen and forcing me to sit on the sofa. Mine? Is that easy? I haven't even said anything yet. Nor agree with it?

"Now let's start our first date."

"Oh...okay." I just look at him, going back and forth from the sofa to the TV and now back to the sofa, plopping himself next to me, as he clicks the remote to choose a movie.

"What kind of movie do you like?" His eyes gleamed but maybe due to the sunlight since he was facing it.

"I don't watch movies or TV." He gasped dramatically. He even covered his mouth with his hand and blinked repeatedly. Okay, that's annoying.

"For real?" he asked with disbelief. He is still blinking dramatically.

I nodded, I'm not lying. "For real." Is it that weird?

"Why? I mean what do you do whenever you have a day off then?" He started to face the TV again and clicked the remote again. He placed one of his hands on the sofa head.

What do I do during my day off? Hmm.

"Hm...nothing much, I'll just sleep."

"That's all? No hangout and anything?"

"Sometimes, I hang out when my friend comes over. He would take me out for dinner." I said, eyeing all of the movies that showed on screen. Since Diana was so busy lately, only Jade came over to check on me.

"He?"

"Should I prepare snacks? I think I can fix something quickly." I turned my head to him, to see his unpleasant face. What, did I do something wrong?

"Your friend is a he? Did he go to your house daily? Take you out for dinner? Is the fancy you or something?" He sounds cold.

"First, yes, he is a he. Second, not daily, but whenever he was in town, he would visit me and take me out for dinner. Third, no, he's not fancying me. He has a fiancé and he does that because I'm his family." I explained to him and stood up to go to the kitchen and fixed some snacks, but he pulled me down and now I sat on his lap.

I frowned.

"Friend or family?" he asked. He started to pout, but his eyes still looked cold.

"You said this is our first date. And you're asking about someone else?"

Now he frowned. He then fixed my position, making me sit on his lap, facing the TV.

"Then, let's watch it like this. Can we watch Pride and Prejudice? I think it'll be perfect for a newbie like you" he still sounds cold.

"I don't mind it. But can I sit there instead of sitting here?" It's embarrassing.

"Why did you get nervous?" Now he sounds happy. Yes, I am nervous!

"Yeah..." I murmured. Leaving silence to conquer the room. Did he hear it? Or did I lose my focus again? I ended up looking at him to make sure that I'm in my conscious mind.

He looked different. I can feel chill down to my spine and my heart thumping harder. His face was darkened, and his eyes looked different. I'm scared.

"You should stop teasing me, Maddison. I'm having a hard time," he said while hugging me tightly. I wasn't teasing though!

"Let's watch the movie for real, okay? I need to give you a good impression so you fall for me hard."

I turned my head to the front, staring at the Tv, but my mind was wandering somewhere else. What was that about?

Now that I keep thinking about it, I'm lost in my world again.