Not that bad

I feel like I'm back on earth when I feel a hand touching my shoulder. I looked at him and tilted slightly due to confusion. He was talking but I can't even hear it so I closed my eyes tight and shook my head lightly before I opened my eyes again. Trying to regain my concentration.

"Are you okay?" he asked, his voice filled with concern and his eyes searching for mine. He cupped my face and rubbed his thumbs around my cheek.

"I'm sorry, sometimes I'm just unable to hear anything. What were you saying?"

He looked at me and frowned but even with it, he did look stunning. But confusion displayed on his well-defined face.

"Did I do something you hate? You can tell me if I did, I'll fix the way I talk for you," he said.

Did he do something I hate? I don't know. No matter how much he asks, I wouldn't know. But I want to know why too.

Why me? Why did he pick me? Why did he treat me so nicely? Why now? Why? After so long living in a pit of a dark hole, why now? I still have no answer. Or am I being too hard on myself?

And for some reason, I know, that no matter how many times I ask the question, the answer will be the same. He just looks like that type of person. For sure, he will give me the same answer which is 'because I fell for you.'

Which is not true. I may be dumb, but I'm not dull. Who the hell would fall in love with me? At the first sight? Nonsense. He wants something from me. That's for sure.

But, I craved this attention. I don't mind it. It feels good. When there's someone else looking at you without sympathy. even if it's a facade, it feels nice.

"No, you didn't do anything. It's fine, you're great." I said, genuinely meaning it. Am I?

"Really?"

I nodded with a smile. He looked up again, showing off his sexy Adam's apple, and then back to my eyes.

"Can I kiss you? Or am I going too fast?"

"I think you're going too fast," I said sternly and he laughed.

"Can I at least get a hug?" He asked.

"No. I'm covered with sweat, but I can shake your hands instead." I grabbed his hands and removed them from my face and shook them with my hands. It's really fascinating how big his hands are.

He laughed as he shook them harder. Then he stopped and brought my hands to his lips. He made a smooch and looked up with a grin.

"Good night, gorgeous. I'll see you tomorrow." I think I just blushed. What a smooth guy.

"Alright, see you tomorrow. Good night. And drive safely." I said, as I unfasten my belt and get ready to get out.

"I'll pick you up tomorrow?" I glanced at him before putting my cap on. He leaned his head on the steering wheel.

"You don't have to, I'll just..."

"Walk?" He cut me off.

" No. I'll take a cab instead. Don't worry, okay. Good night, bye."

He looked at me with a frowned but quickly smile at me again.

"Byeee..." he said, waving his hand to me, as I got out of his car. I waved at him back and walked myself to my small apartment building.

"Maddie!!" I stopped my legs as I heard a shrieking voice and heels coming closer to me. I'm glad that I heard it. I looked up to see a tall blonde and beautiful lady running toward me. Ah, Jade's fiancé, Diana. She hugged me tightly as she peered at the luxury car that I had just gotten out of. She has that drunk and mischievous smile on as she poked my face with her index finger.

"Your boyfriend?"

"Are you drunk? How did you get here?" I asked her, helping her to walk properly toward my small nest. I hope Ayden went back safely.

"Hm? Nope, I'm not drunk, I just missed you." She held me tighter. I have a faint smile. "You don't miss me?"

I finally reached the stairs. We climbed the stairs and finally arrived at my house. Suddenly she poked my face again.

"You! You are in your silent world again, aren't you! Talk to me, Maddie."

"Huh? Oh, hold on, I need to open the door." She suddenly stood straight. Waiting patiently until the door opens. "Okay, get in."

She hurriedly ran inside, bumping her toes into the clothing rack and falling. And she suddenly whined. Oh God...where is Jade?

I closed the door and locked it.

"Sleep on the bed," I said to her since she was not moving. She giggled and crawled to the living room. Since it is just a 1LDK house, it won't take her long to reach her destination.

"Maddie, you're so thin, did you eat properly these days." She said, hugging her long legs.

Usually I skip but lately, Ayden keeps forcing me to eat despite ignoring me for a long time. I think I eat quite well whenever I'm with him.

"Yeah, I do eat properly. Are you hungry, should we order something? I'm too tired to cook." I lie down on the floor, throwing my cap off my head. Then she lied next to me.

"Yeah, let's order Thai. I'll order now." She took off her phone and started to place an order online. "So who's that guy? Your significant one?"

I clicked my tongue when she asked that question again. I can see her wicked smile. "Come on, tell me. Tell me!!" She was way too excited.

"I'm not sure," I said, dragging myself closed with her so I can see the screen too. "I don't know my feelings yet."

She flipped her body and now she's lying on her stomach, looking at me with a smile.

"So did you know his feelings?"

"He said he fell for me."

She slapped the floor due to the excitement. "And?!"

"And I told him I don't know what kind of feeling I have for him, but I do get nervous so he told me that we will take it slow."

"Hmm....you get nervous around him?"

I nodded.

"Then you like him?"

"I don't know yet!" She giggled.

"Hehe, I can't wait to see you have a kid." I scowled at her nonsense. What kid? Oh, God.

"You're crazy." I laughed at her, she's totally nuts.

"But I hope that he will be the best for you," she said with her serious face.

"What! You sound like you already met him!"

"I don't need to see him, because I know he's probably a nice guy? Look at you, all blushing just because you're talking about him." She poked me again. "But maybe in your case, you do need to take a slow phase."

"Like you and Jade?" She shrugged her shoulders and put her head on my stomach. "So why are you here? A fight?"

"Nope! I just really missed you. And I'm on my break. Let me spoil you for a while. How are you doing lately? Any nightmares?"

"Doing fine...nightmares? Pft, never-ending. Work is great. It's tiring but at least I got..." our conversation was interrupted with a loud bang from next door with a sensual scream along. We looked at each other dumbfounded.

"...paid."

"Damn, they really need to renovate their soundless wall. There is no privacy. Is this what triggered your memory?" She sat up and tied up her long wavy hair. I sighed.

"At first, yes. But now, nope. I think I am just used to it. And like you already know, sometimes I just stop hearing sounds."

"Lucky you! Fuck, it's only six and they already fucked? Ugh, I'm sobered up already. Ughh, I need shower!" she said, and started to open my closet to find a cloth for herself. "Lucky me, baby girl loves baggy." she laughed wickedly.

Then she took out a baggy hoodie, said "Boyfie outfit!" and ran to the bathroom. I finally sat up and tied up my hair into a bun. Crazy woman!

"Where's Jade?" I shouted at her, knowing she would reply.

"Hm? He has something to do with a new traineeship program. So he will be busy!"

That's Jade for you.

I rummaged through my bag and took out my phone. I have two messages from Ayden and I couldn't help but smile.

-Hey, I'm already home. Just want to say that I miss you already. And I'm kinda jealous that you give a hug to other people but me. I'm sad. Don't skip dinner, okay. Thank you for your hard work today, and thanks for watching a movie with me. I hope I can get an off day tomorrow so I can hang out with you.-

-AW

-Ah, I forgot to say, tomorrow I'll be out early, so you don't have to come early and make breakfast for me ;), and you can come after lunchtime since I'll be stuck in the office until 8, but I wish that I can eat my dinner with you and watch a late-night movie with you. If you're fine with it. Let me know your answer, princess <3-

-AW

I smiled when I read it. I can feel someone was looking and staring at me and I assumed it was Diana. I glanced at her for a moment and she wiggled her eyebrows as she walked to the door with her purses. She mouthed 'I'll be right back and winked at me.

I nodded and my eyes back at the screen as I typed a reply for him.

-Hey, I'm home too. Dee just bought dinner for us, So don't worry about that. I can give you a hug tomorrow if you don't mind. And okay, noted for the schedule. As for the movie, I need to ask Diana if she is staying tomorrow too, but if she's not, then yes, let's watch the movie together.-

-MI

"Lovey-dovey, aye? I'm jealous!" I looked up as I saw Diana putting food on the table. That's fast. "Darling, go take a shower now, so we can eat together." She shooed me away. I finally stood up and took a quick shower and then put on a plain shirt with pants on. I was finally able to sit at the dining table with her.

"Can you eat? You want me to feed you?" she asked. Her hands are busy organising the plates and snapping photos. The hell, I smiled.

"I can. Can I eat now, mother?"

"Hold it.." she took a few more photos and finally put down her phone and looked up with a stoic face. "Yes, enjoy the feast, my dear." She talked like a queen, before shoveling a sweet and sour chicken inside her mouth.

I feed myself fried rice and slurp a tom yum goong, and the spiciness hits the best.

"Fuck, this is better than hearing someone having sex," Diana said, ignoring the fact that the neighbours were being loud, along with another neighbour yelling at them to keep quiet.

"What time do they stop? For real?"

"Not sure, I told you I don't hear anything when I'm alone," I said lazily. I stand up and walked to my desk to take out the earplug and walked back to her. I gave he a pair so she could block all the indecent noise away but she refused.

"So...Maddie, what's his name? How old is he? What does he do for a living?" She asked.

"Who?" I asked back.

"That guy! The one sends you home safe and sound."

"What is this? Interrogation room? Can I eat peacefully?" I asked her. I take another sip of my tom yum goong.

"I feel like I will probably marry the chef," I said. It's so good!

"Huh? No way! I will. Or perhaps we both can share one husband. Let's marry that chef." She giggles at her dumb joke. I give her the biggest smile for her joke.

"But for real though. This is heaven!" She took a sip of tom yum goong.

"How long you'll stay?" I asked her.

"Boo, that's not how questions work. You answer mine first."

What was her question again? I put my spoon down and lean on the chair. She started to put more meals on my plate. I tried to cram my head to remember what she said but obviously, I forgot what it was about.

"What was it again?"

She gasped. "What is his name, how old, what he does for a living!"

Ah...

"Ayden Winter, I don't know his age, and don't know what he does for a living. But he hired me as a housekeeper."

"So it's a modern Cinderella love story, I see. Nice! But, do ask him about his age and job tomorrow, okay? Mother is worried. Okay, sweetie?" She really loves making that old lady's voice. I obediently nodded.

"By the way, sweetie, I'm staying for five days. Bear with me."

I smirk.

"Hm? I heard the sirens." She turned around the door as if she was listening to something better. "Is it a cop?" she laughed.

"Probably? They are too loud." I said, staring at my food. God, I'm full.

"I can't eat anymore," I whined as I pushed my plate.

"Eat some fruit then," she replied and shovelled the food inside her mouth.

"I don't have any," I replied lazily, watching her eat deliciously. "Ah, I forgot to ask, can I come home late tomorrow?"

"Date?" she asked, chewing her food slowly. "Yeah, I don't mind. And by the way, let's go for a walk and ice cream from the convenience store. We need dessert!"

I nodded as I grabbed my phone to see the message.

-Okay, since you almost fell asleep just now, maybe we should watch something from Disney or something. You probably like it more.-

-AW

I smile. Maybe it won't be bad to have these feelings.

"I'm done, let's go for a walk, baby." She stood up and grabbed her phone, and some money and shoved it inside her pocket.

I joined her, grabbed a house key and walked after her. Maybe these feelings weren't that bad. Getting annoyed, laughing, talking, walking, and laughing again with someone you used to call strangers, wasn't that bad.

I glanced at Diana, who looked so happy whenever she talked to me, and I couldn't help but smile too.

Maybe these feelings weren't that bad.

Maybe I'm not alone.

Maybe...even if this a facade dream.