Memories

I need rest, my mind is in chaos.

Wait, chaos….

I remember, the goal, reincarnation, the meeting, the wishes... my birth…. fuck, can I forget that part…

Is this what Alexia meant, everyone reincarnates, but weather they remember or not depends entirely on them. It felt like I was becoming someone else, or maybe I was simply becoming myself, Azuma, without the experiences and knowledge of my previous life.

I wonder why that happened, what changed after ten years, was it the stabbing?

No, it hurt like hell, but I don`t think that is what changed. What did the voices say? Weakness? Probably not actual weakness, maybe weak-minded, what else? Conviction, conviction, and a lack thereof.

Conviction is a broad topic, it may be a lot of things, emotional and mental stress, no, that is not right, lack of determination, no, lack of faith in my self and my goal…. maybe, I don't really know, but for sure I will need to train my mental and emotional strength, if such a small setback almost made me lose my memories, my path will have two outcomes, either I die or I for sure lose my memories.

Great, more training needed.

It feels like I´m waking up, damn, I hope mom is okay.

._._._._._._._.

As I wake up, I notice that I am in a hospital room, weird, I for sure thought I would wake up in my house, and I see mom, her head resting on my bed while sitting on a chair, she seems asleep, as much as I would like her to keep sleeping, I need to wake her up.

I nudge her a little, trying to her wake up, as soon as I touch her, she jumps from her seat, looking tired, her eyes red from crying, shit, I never thought I would see mom cry, from the manga and the time I´ve known her as my mother, she always portrayed herself as immovable and unbreakable, the type of person that makes you feel that if the sky is falling they wouldn´t even flinch.

Something else seems to have changed, there is a glint in her eyes, that wasn´t there before, and I know exactly what that means, never again will she hesitate to murder. In time I will try to convince her out of Satsujinken.

While I was lost in thought it seems mom was too, she was observing me, trying to make sure I`m alive, her face changes from relief and happiness to grief and guiltiness, ending with a resoluteness only before seen when I saw her in the park.

She just walks towards me, putting her hand in my face, kissing my forehead, and enveloping me in a hug, as if she would never hug me again.

"It will be okay sweetie; you are going to be fine "She softly says while hugging me.

I am lost, I do not know what to say, there is nothing to say, no matter what, she will blame herself, I simply hug her. The moment my hugs starts, she trembles, whatever she must have been thinking, evaporates, as her embrace tightens around my body.

"I know mom" I reassure her, increasing the force in my hug.

After a couple of minutes of simply hugging each other, mom breaks her hold on me. Standing up and looking seriously at me.

"Azuma, your dad will be here shortly, I want you to go with him, mom needs to take care of some things" There is sadness in her voice but also resoluteness, whatever she has to do, it seems she is eager to do so.

"But- "

"No buts Azuma, Hayato will arrive in a couple of minutes, he will explain in detail. I love you son." She starts leaving, had she been anyone else I would have marked her goodbye as a death flag, but mom is mom, no way anyone can beat her, except dad maybe.

Soon I will get answers, besides, I have to train myself, I can´t believe I let myself get stabbed, remembering the event I know at least 10 ways to avoid the knife, I panicked, and my lack of battle experience showed. Something needs to change.

Instinctually I seem to treat the people around me like they are real, no need to treat them like they are real people, they are, but it seems I want to believe myself the protagonist, that nothing will happen to me, need to change that mentality, fast.

Had I died, god only knows what mom would do, in the story after seeing the consequences of the Eternal Sunset, she became emotionless, allowing, murder, torture, manipulation, and brainwashing on children, I don´t want to think what she will become if I die, need to stay alive.

._._._._._._._.

As mom said, a few minutes after she left, dad entered the room, when he saw me in the hospital bed, his step stopped for a second, then with sadness in his eyes asked me.

"How are you son?" His fist clenched, he´s angry.

"Hey dad, glad seeing you, surprisingly so, I feel perfect, not like I was stabbed" The moment I mentioned ´stabbed` his body tenses, I suffocate, the anger emanating from the man scares me. It´s easy to forget the silly man I know is one of the strongest humans on the planet. It takes a moment for him to calm down.

Now that I think about it how come I feel perfectly fine after getting stabbed, I know there are some incredible powers here, but healing a stab wound in what I can only assume a day feels surreal.

"Not surprised there kid, your mom is a great healer, especially considering she fought in a war, although no expert, a stab wound was as normal as breathing during those days."

Well, that is useful, should ask mom more about it later.

"Alright kiddo, let´s go, I already got the paperwork done, so we can just leave, Saiga must be dead worried about you, you`ve grown on him."

"Yeah, he has too, like fungus."

._._._._._._._.

The moment we get into the house I`m surprised, it´s small, seems like I've been spoiled, living in a mansion, either way, it seems I will be living here for now.

"Aright kid, get comfortable, tomorrow your training starts, no son of mine will get stabbed." As he says that a chill goes down my spine, something in his voice just makes me want to run."