A Cook? Oh my!

The crew arrived at the Baratie, and saw a huge fish-boat, Ussop suddenly said "A marine boat!" the rest turned to see a massive marine ship right next to them, Viper said "How the fuck did that just suddenly pop up out of nowhere?" A man on the marine ship looked over and said "You're pirates?" Luffy nodded and said "Yeah, We just got our jolly roger painted." The man sneered and said "A bunch of newbies, sink them." and he walked away. The marines fired the cannons and Luffy blew up like a balloon and deflected the cannon ball and it shot through the air and smashed into the top of the Baratie. Luffy said "Oops." Viper slammed his face into the mast and said "We're fucked." sure enough, a bunch of chefs came out and pointed at Luffy and said "Did you just shoot that at our restaurant?!" Luffy nodded and they took him away.

Viper and the rest sighed and docked on the side of the Baratie, before walking in and sitting down. They ordered and saw Luffy bringing out their food. Viper said "So can we change the flag now?" Zoro said "Finally we don't have to spend 80% of our money on food." Ussop said "Am I the captain now?" everyone snapped "No!" Nami pointed at Viper and said "If anything it's him!" Viper spat out his drink and said "What!? No thanks. Ask Zoro." Zoro said "Nope." Nami sighed and said "Luffy come back!"

Luffy gave a smug grin and said "So you guys need me huh?" Viper and Zoro said in unison "I wouldn't be a pirate if it weren't for you." they looked at each other and laughed, and Luffy laughed with them before there was a loud crash, the group looked over and saw the marine guy smashed a table in two.

"Listen, I am a marine lieutenant! My name is Fullbody! You will get me a new soup!" A blond haired guy, with a black suit said "You could've just taken out the bug and it would've been fine, now you wasted it." he looked up at Fullbody and said "Don't ever waste food in front of me!" before he kicked Fullbody in the face sending him flying into the wall. Fullbody slumped and said "You just kicked me! What kind of restaurant kicks their customers?!" Another man, with a huge chefs hat, and a long mustache said "Sanji! Stop kicking customers!" Fullbody sneered at Sanji and said "See even your boss said so." the man with the long mustache came over and kicked Fullbody "And you! No wasting food in my restaurant! Get out of here!" Fullbody was shocked and said "I'm a marine lieutenant!" the man sneered and said "I'm the owner!" before he kicked him again, another marine ran in through the door and said "Lieutenant! The prisoner escaped!" Fullbody was shocked again and said "What!? That was one of Don Kreig's men!" the restaurant customers went pale.

BANG

A gunshot was heard and the marine at the door collapsed, dead. The customers started running away, leaving only Luffy's crew and the chefs. The man walked in and passed Fullbody, sat on a chair and said "Bring me food. Anything will do." A giant chef, with giant forearms and tiny legs, walked up and said "Hello, mere bastard! How will you be paying today?" the man in the chair pointed the gun at the chefs forehead and said "Will lead work?" the chef frowned and said "So you don't have any money?" the chef smashed the man along with the chair, the owner said "Damn Patty! You broke the chair!" Patty said "Sorry boss Zeff, if they can't pay they aren't customers." Patty kicked the man and brought him outside.

Viper noticed that Luffy and Sanji disappeared, and he said "Wow, dinner and a show!" before he got up and walked over to Zeff and said "Excuse me, my name is Viper, are you red leg Zeff?" Zeff nodded and said "How would you know that brat." Viper chuckled and said "Well, I don't actually know, I lost all my memories since around two months ago, anyway you've been to the grandline right?" Zeff nodded and said "Yeah what about it?" Viper rubbed his hands together and said "Since you work a restaurant, and have been to the grandline, I was wondering if you had any devil fruits you can give me? You won't need them anymore and I can compensate you for whatever you need me for, within reason." Zeff said "I might have one or two laying around collecting dust in case the restaurant goes under, why would I give them to you?" Viper smiled widely and said "Because i'm a lovable and handsome boy? Also they're being used for research if that makes you feel better." Zeff said "Lovable? Handsome?" He kicked Viper and said "Go work in the kitchen, 'handsome'." soem chefs came over and dragged Viper to the kitchen, he said to the crew "Never forget about my sacrifice!!!" before he disappeared. The rest of the crew sighed and shook their heads.

A few days later

Viper was wearing an apron and said "Table 4, three soups! Table 7, two grilled fish, and we need wine at tables 4, 7, and 8!" Viper waiting for the food to be put on the trays and grabbed them both, while walking out of the kitchen and serving the tables. He came back and called out another order, Zeff walked up to him and said "You're not half bad brat!" Viper grabbed another tray and said "I used to work at a bar waiting tables, and if it gets me those fruits i'll be the best damn waiter you have!" before he walked back to serve the dishes, leaving Zeff there smirking before he turned to the rest of the staff and said "You hear that bastards a 16 year old is doing a better job than you clowns!" the rest of the staff cursed the 16 year old bastard thousands of times before going back to work.

Viper walked out and saw a man with sideburns kneeling on the floor, Viper went to serve the food and said "Who's that?" one of the customers said "He's Don Kreig!" Viper said "Oh." before continuing and ignoring him. Sanji came out of the kitchen and put a plate in front of Kreig, who started inhaling the food, Viper said "I don't know Sanji, I get he's hungry and all, but what if he was faking it." Sanji said "Whether he's faking or not is his business, I just serve to hungry people." Viper nodded and went to take more orders, Kreig got up and punched Sanji in the face sending him flying, Viper went into his hybrid form and caught him in the air before putting him back on the ground and reverting back to his human form again, Sanji said "Thanks" the customers were shocked at what just happened and Viper continued to work and said "No problem." Kreig looked over and said "Devil fruit huh?" Viper ignored him and served the rest of the customers, Kreig shouted "Oi! Rainbow hair, i'm talking to you!" Viper stopped and said "Did you just call me Rainbow hair?" Kreig sneered and said "Yeah, what are you gonna do about it?" Viper turned into his hybrid form and whipped his tail at Kreig sending him flying into a wall, Viper slithered over and said "I don't know you, and only my friends can call me that." he leaned in and said "And if you call me that again.. I'll disembowel you." he bared his fangs and turned around, while reverting to his human form and taking orders again, the customers were scared and backed off when he came near, Viper sighed and said "Sorry Zeff, looks like I can't work here anymore." Zeff waved his off and said "You did a good job anyway, but that wall is coming out of your paycheck" Viper sighed "I wasn't aware I was getting paid." before he sulked over to where Zoro was sitting mumbling something about a stingy old man.

Kreig got up and looked fearfully in Viper's direction before shouting "Give me food for me and my men!" before he pointed at Viper and said "Does he still work here?" Zeff shook his head and Kreig continued "Then I'll take the ship too!" Sanji walked into the kitchen and brought out a bag with food for 100 people and threw it at Kreig. Kreig caught the bag and said "Wait you're red leg Zeff aren't you?" Zeff nodded and Kreig said "I also want your logbook!" Zeff said "Impossible!" Kreig was about to say something when a loud BANG was heard, he turned around and saw that his ship was cut in half, he ran towards it.

Luffy said "Hey old man! If we take care of Kreig and his crew, can I take Sanji?" Viper piped in "And the devil fruits!" Luffy said "Yea and the devil fruits!" Zeff chuckled and said "Sure kid." Luffy cheered and the door opened revealing Johnny and Yosaku, Johnny said "Zoro bro! Viper bro! Ussop bro! Luffy bro! Nami sis took the merry and sailed away!" Viper and Zoro snapped "What?!" Luffy said "Where did she go?" the duo shook their heads and said "We don't know!" the rest walked outside and saw the Merry sailing away, Viper sighed and rubbed his temples "Why now? What a troublesome woman.." he turned and saw Zoro walking towards a man with a giant sword, Viper screamed "OI ZORO! THAT'S MIHAWK DO-" Luffy clamped his hand over Viper's mouth and said "He wanted this." Viper said "What do you mean?! He's literally walking towards death." Luffy said "Zoro said he was looking for him specifically. It's his dream, we are NOT interfering understand?" Viper nodded and watched Zoro get his ass handed to him.

Zoro stood standing with his arms spread out and Mihawk said "What is this?" Zoro said "A wound on the back is a swordsman's shame!" Mihawk's eyes brightened with excitement as he said "Excellent!" and slashed Zoro across the chest, causing Zoro to fell on his back. Luffy and Viper shot forward towards Mihawk at the same time, Luffy stretched out his hand and Viper full transformed and whipped his tail, Mihawk stopped Luffy's fist and blocked Viper's tail. Mihawk said "He's still alive." before looking up at Viper and saying "A mythical zoan eh? You haven't even scratched the surface on how to use your powers." Viper coiled and said "What do you mean?" Mihawk said "What I mean is that your full transformation isn't complete, don't you feel it?" Viper nodded and said "I do. Do you know how to complete it?" Mihawk said "You have to do it yourself" before jumping on to his boat and saying "Live! Live and surpass me, Roranoa Zoro!" and with that he disappeared, Viper was thinking about what Mihawk said, he mumbled to himself "Maybe it's the wings? But I should've had them." Viper turned and looked at Zoro.

Zoro held his white katana up and said "Luffy! I'm sorry I lost! It won't happen again.. I'll keep winning until I become the world's greatest swordsman.. Is that okay with you?! King of the Pirates!" Luffy grinned and said "Yeah!" Viper smiled and picked up Zoro with his tail and put him on a little boat with Johnny and Ussop. Luffy said "Go ahead of us! Do you know where she went?" Johnny nodded and said "I think she went in the direction of Cocoyasi village." Luffy nodded and said "We'll meet you there once I get Sanji to join." They nodded and sailed away, Viper and Luffy watched them go and Viper said "Should we take care of Kreig now?" Luffy nodded and hopped on Viper's head as they made their way in front of the Baratie.

Kreig looked at Viper and Luffy and revealed his golden armor, his shoulder plates opened and gun barrels came out he pointed them at Luffy and Viper and said "Die!" as he shot all of the guns at the duo. Luffy jumped off and blew up, bouncing all the bullets back, as he stretched his arm back and snapped it towards Kreig slamming his gut, sending him flying away.

Kreig got up and said "You can't break my armor! I'm invincible!" Viper sneered and said "Luffy! Jump on my tail." Luffy figured out what he was going to do and grinned, he jumped on Viper's fan tail and stretched both arms back, Viper flapped his tail forward sending Luffy shooting towards Kreig, Luffy snapped his arms back at Kreig and slammed both palms into Kreig's stomach.

"Gum-Gum Wind Cannon!"

Viper grinned and Kreig turned into a twinkle in the sky and flew away. The rest of Kreig's crew stole a ship and chased after him. Luffy turned around and said "That was a pretty cool combo Shishishishi" Viper said "Yeah, when I have more moves we can experiment too!" Luffy nodded and they both turned to the restaurant and Viper reverted and walked inside with Luffy.

A few hours later

Viper, Luffy, and Yosaku were on a boat waiting for Sanji, while the chefs stocked up the boat with tons of meat. Zeff threw a bag at Viper and said "Here ya go kid." Viper opened the bad and said "Woah! Really?!" Zeff nodded and said "Thanks for saving my restaurant, plus that's also your pay for doing a good job when you were working." Viper grinned and said "Do you know what they are?" Zeff said "There's a book of Devil fruits in there, it doesn't have them all but there must be at least a few hundred. I got it from an old friend on one of the islands a long time ago." Viper was ecstatic and bowed "Thank you so much old man!" Zeff waved him off and said "You deserve it." Viper grinned and said "Do you mind if I also get a box full of one of every different fruit you have?" Zeff nodded and gave it to him. Luffy said "Why do you need that?" Viper said "There is going to be a lot of trial and error so we need the devil fruit to come back after we use it so we don't lose the fruit." Luffy tilted his head and Viper said "It's a mystery fruit." Luffy punched his palm and said "Oh! I get it!" Viper sighed and sat down reading the devil fruit book.

Sanji got on the boat and had a tearful goodbye with Zeff and the four of them sailed away towards Cocoyasi village.