I Wished It Was True

Qiu Ling ignored the struggle he could read in Jing Yi's eyes. This wasn't the moment for that. In a bit, his beloved might already understand that he had been wrong all along and then they could have their heartfelt reunion. It was better not to draw it out any longer.

"Exactly that. I don't know what his specific position in the Nine Heavens was but he was sent by your old man to watch over you."

"My …" Jing Yi's eyes widened and this time, he really sat up. "Qiu Ling you … you know about my … past life?"

Qiu Ling also sat up and nodded. "Of course."

Jing Yi's heart shook. Could it be? Was he actually … that Jing He? Had Qiu Ling followed him here because of that? Then … Then what about Tian? How did he fit into this?

Qiu Ling didn't hold back this time. Screw acting mature. His beloved had already wavered so much. If he still didn't use the opportunity, he would be an idiot. He inched closer, cupped Jing Yi's cheek with one hand and wrapped his other arm around him. "I guess what you're thinking right now is true. You were a god in your past life. That was why I came here originally." He hesitated and looked at Jing Yi's face.

His beloved seemed stunned. Well, it was to be expected. It was something Jing Yi had only found out in the secret realm and now a person he had trusted told him that he had known about it a long time ago. Maybe he would feel hurt and betrayed now.

Qiu Ling sighed. "I'm sorry. I wanted to tell you much sooner. It's just that … they forbid me from doing so and I didn't want to make any trouble. Knowing what happened in your previous life can have pretty heavy consequences. You've also seen that."

Jing Yi looked from one side to the other, suddenly feeling uncomfortable. Qiu Ling knew about him being a god previously? How could that be? He didn't understand this at all! Nothing made any sense. Something had to be wrong …

"Ah." Jing Yi looked up, a sad smile lifting up his lips. "Senior martial brother Yu told you, didn't he?" Right, this was the only logical explanation. Senior martial brother Yu must have told him about Tian and since he couldn't accept that they had split up, he was now trying to make him waver with telling him these things. It was very much like Qiu Ling.

"You don't believe me?"

Jing Yi shook his head. "How could this be?"

"I love you. I've always loved you. Since the day I first saw you … I've never stopped loving you. That injury to your soul, it didn't happen in the secret realm. It's still from the Nine Heavens. You engraved your own soul. I don't know when or how you managed to get your hands on the soul-engraving dagger but you did and you did it to make sure we would always stay together. It was for us. Because we loved each other and —"

"Stop." Jing Yi lifted a hand and gently touched Qiu Ling's lips, making him shut up.

Qiu Ling hesitated what to do. Should he take his beloved's hand and continue speaking? Or give him a moment to come to terms with this? He wasn't sure. But he was afraid that he would only get one chance to decide.

His gaze intensified and he finally grabbed Jing Yi's wrist and gently pulled his hand down, pressing it up against his chest. "It's the truth. We were a couple. We wanted to get married and live —"

"I said to stop." Jing Yi's brows drew together and his gaze lowered, pain written inside.

"Jing'er, I —"

"No."

This time Qiu Ling really stopped talking. He couldn't take this kind of gaze from Jing Yi. Just what had he done wrong? He waited but Jing Yi didn't say anything. He didn't explain, didn't ask anything. He just continued to look like the pain from engraving his soul had caught up to him. As if he was losing something very, very precious to him right at this moment.

"Jing'er …"

Jing Yi sighed and finally looked up. His eyes were wet with tears and when he finally spoke up his voice was choked with them just the same. "I know that you're lying."

"I'm not."

"I know it. I've remembered enough. The man I was in love with … He was the king of his realm."

"But I … I am. I am the king of the dragon realm. I just … I didn't tell you the whole truth. I didn't dare to tell you back then in the Hei Dian Sect because I was afraid you wouldn't be able to take it. You … already had to deal with the fact that I was a dragon. I didn't want to make it even worse."

Jing Yi shook his head. "Senior martial brother Yu told you. I can't blame him. He thought from the first moment that I shouldn't remember. He said it would lead to trouble and he was right. If I could … If I could choose again, then I wouldn't want to remember him. Because regardless of how much we loved each other that man robbed me of something very precious."

Qiu Ling froze. What? He had taken something from his beloved? But how? Hadn't they always been happy?

Jing Yi reached up and cupped his former fiance's cheeks. He gazed into those familiar black eyes and smiled sadly. "I really regret it. And I wished what you just said was true. I wished you were the dragon king, I wished you were the man I loved back then, the one I promised myself to. I wished all of that was true."

Qiu Ling wanted to speak up but just then the first tear slipped out of the corner of Jing Yi's eye, stunning him into silence once more. It ran down and finally dripped from his chin, falling onto Qiu Ling's skin.

It was wet but somehow, Qiu Ling felt as if it burned his body and soul like a flame. Just why … was his beloved crying in front of him again? Why was he never able to save him from all that pain?