Chapter 45 Immortal vs Zombies

Hidan walked forward, looking at the three before him. He took a look at Zabuza before laughing.

"Damn, you look like shit", said Hidan.

Zabuza glared at Hidan before removing his blade and swinging it into the ground.

"Fuck off dipshit, unless you want to lose your head", said Zabuza.

That only caused Hidan to laugh more. He gave his scythe a few experimental swings.

"Alright asshole, you want to play rough I'll play rough", said Hidan.

"You will not touch Zabuza or Naruto", said Haku as he flexed his claws of ice.

Hidan raised an eyebrow at Haku.

"And what the fuck are you supposed to be Ice bitch"

Haku's eyes narrowed.

"I'm a boy", he said with loathing.

"I don't give two shits who you are", said Hidan.

Naruto cleared his throat causing everyone to look at him.

"Hidan, may I ask you why you wish to kill us", asked Naruto.

Hidan laughed.

"Well I don't really need a reason, but Lord Jashin wants you assholes dead so I am here to kill you assholes", said Hidan.

Naruto's eyes widened after hearing the name. The Shadowed man asked this guy to kill them. Why, what could he possibly gain from this. While thinking he looked around the forest. He saw the unblinking milky white eyes of Xel staring at him. Naruto gave Xel a short nod before turning back to Hidan.

"You are outnumbered, I suggest you stop this foolishness", said Naruto.

In response Hidan threw his scythe at Naruto. Lucky for him it was stopped when Zabuza jumped in front of Naruto and deflected the scythe with his own blade. Then a purple tether of psionic energy hit Naruto. Hidan watched in amusement as Naruto's arms split. His skin turned grey, nine eye covered tentacles grew from his back while bone like whiskers sprouted from his jaw. Then finally the whisker like marks on his face opened like eyes.

"Well ain't we full of fucking surprises", said Hidan.

He pulled a metal cord connected to his scythe and grabbed it with his hand. Then he ran forward. Zabuza intercepted Hidan slicing at him with his sword. The blades created sparks as they hit each other. Naruto floated in the air placing his palms toward Hidan. A purple haze of swirling chaos appeared before him and shot out to Hidan. hidan attempted to dodge it but found his feet were frozen to the ground. Zabuza jumped out of the way as the Void Sphere hit Hidan in the chest. The swirling void of psionic power drew in pieces of the surrounding land. After a moment it began to fade. Naruto looked at this in confusion.

"That was practically a miniature black hole, you should be dead", said Naruto.

Hidan laughed. He swung his scythe down breaking the ice that held him still. He was about to run to Naruto when he felt a pain in his back.

Haku dug his ice claws into Hidans back holding him in place. When he turned back around Naruto made his way to him and scratched his chest with his claws. The area around the claw marks turned black from frostbite. Hidan swung his scythe at Zaruto But he had already jumped back. Hidan leaped backwards carying Haku with him before slaming into a tree. Haku fell to the ground. He was about to slash at Haku but a massive blade hit him in the shoulders.

"That hurt asshole", said Hidan as he tugged at his scythe. The metal chord wrapped around Zabuza. With another tug Zabuza fell to the ground. Hidan sliced at Zabuza and took his arm off. He leapt back and looked at his own scythe.

"What no blood. The fuck kind of shit is that", said Hidan.

Zabuza stood. His detached arm began crawling back toward him. When he put it back to the stump Haku ran to his side and froze it in place.

" Well you seem to have trouble dying", said Hidan through a smirk.

"I can say the same about you", said Zabuza.

Hidan threw his scythe at Zabuza but he had already leapt out the way. However he tugged the wire a bit causing the scythe to head for Haku. Haku moved slightly and the scythe struck him in his chest. It bounced harmlessly of the glass porthole that showed his heart. Hidan jerked the scythe again and ran to Haku. He was about to bring his scythe down on his head when his arm stopped mid swing. He looked up to see an eye covered tentacle wrapped around his arm.

Naruto used his partial sharringan as well as colors of sound to predict Hidans moves. He wiggled his tentacle around when it became aparent he attempted to wrap the cord around it. Hidan lowered his arm as Haku's claws stabbed him at the same moment Zabuza's sword skewered him. Hidan was uneffected and when his arm was lowered enogh he bit the tentacle. Blood sprayed as it fell to the ground. It disintegrated to dust before it even hit the dirt. Naruto watched in disgust as Hidan seemed to swallow the blood. The tentacle was already growing back. Hidan swung his scythe forcing both Haku and Zabuza to back off.

"Time for the ceremony", said Hidan.

Using the blood on the ground Hidan drew a circle with his foot and a triangle within the circle. His skin turned pitch black and white marking like a skeleton appeared on him. He reached into his cloak pulling out what appeared to be a pipe. However it extended into a spear.

"What are you doing", asked Naruto.

In response Hidan stabbed his own leg. Naruto felt a slight pain in his own leg but it subsided quickly. Hidan appeared to be confused.

"What the fuck, nothing just a little pain", said Hidan with anger in his eyes.

Naruto smiled.

"I take it that did not go as expected", said Naruto.

Hidan remained in his symbol and began stabbing himself. Naruto felt the same pain he did but only for a moment before it would fade.

"ou know most of me isn't even made of ordinary matter. Maybe that is your problem", said Naruto.

The nine tentacled shot toward Hidan locking him in place. Naruto walked forward. thin bone tipped tendrils came from his wrists. They plunged into Hidan. Naruto could feel the pain as well as the feeling of having his blood sucked through the tendrils. Everyone watched as Naruto's skin grew slightly darker.

"I see, it's not a blood line, but it is apart of your genetics. Someone has had a few alterations", said Naruto.

Naruto grabbed his top left middle finger and broke it. Nothing happened. He waited for it to heal as he walked closer to Hidan.

"Lets see if it worked", said Naruto.

He brought one claw to Hidan and scratched his cheek. The skin around it turned black as a single drop of blood hit Naruto's claw. He brought it to his own mouth and licked. As he swallowed the blood he grabbed the same finger. He broke it again. he watched as Hidans Left middle finger seemed to twitch for a moment.

"Well not as good as yours, but it did work. You are too used to pain to properly gauge its full potential, studys will have to be done", said Naruto.

He turned to Haku.

"Freeze him, he will make an interesting study", said Naruto.

"Fuck you", said Hidan.

He jerked his hand causing the scythe to come to him. He grabbed it and sliced off all Naruto's tentacles, though they grew back after a moment. Hidan rushed Naruto swinging is scythe. Naruto flew upwards to avoid Hidan. Instead of stoping Hidan continued to Haku. Haku began to use handsigns.

"Shattering Ice Spear", said Haku.

Suddenly many spears of Ice appeared under Hidan and impaled him. Naruto closed his eye waiting for pain but it never came. He looked around then saw the symbol in the dirt.

"He need to be in that to use it. Interesting", said Naruto.

Hidan unaffected by the pain, in fact seeming to enjoy it. He tore himself from the spears. He landed on the ground. When he got back up he smirked and threw his scythe at Haku again. This time it hit him in his arm. It scratched through but did not break the armor of ice that coated Haku's skin.

"Damn, what the fuck is with you all", said Hidan.

At this time Zabuza swung his sword in an arc attempting to take off Hidans head. Instead Hidan leaned back kicking the blade up. Instantly he was under Zabuza with his scythe burried in his chest. Zabuza just punched him.

"Sorry, I'm a zombie. Cant feel shit", said Zabuza.

Hidan only smiled.

"And I'm an Immortal, this is going to be one long ass battle", said Hidan.

Hidan forcibly removed his scythe from Zabuza causing what was left of his coagulated blood to fall to the ground. Hidan only looked at it.

"I ain't licking that shit", he said looking at Zabuza's thick black blood as it dropped to the ground.

Zabuza swung his sword again at Hidans Head. This time he caught the massive sword between two blades on his scythe.

"This is getting ridiculous", said Haku as he threw senbon of ice at Hidan. By now he looked like a pin cushion but it seemed to have no effect. In fact Hidan did not even seem to notice.

" It's a fight between four people who have a major problem dying or staying dead we need a new plan or we are going to have to bring go back to the labs in a bucket. Scary thing is you and Zabuza probably would still be alive", said Naruto.

"That is , we could try freezing him again", said Haku.

Naruto nodded. He watched as Zabuza and Hidan attacked and blocked each other.

"Alright, why not use your ice mirrors. That should hold him in one spot long enough", said Naruto.

Haku nodded as he ran back into the fight. He began doing one-handed seals.

"Zabuza get out of there", screamed Naruto.

At that instand Zabuza jumped out of the way.

"Demonic Ice Mirrors", said Haku.

A dome of crystal mirrors appeared around Hidan. Haku jumped into one appearing in the reflections. He would throw senbons of ice at Hidan. Hidan's swings were not fast enough to stop all the needles.

"Shit, bad time to be the slowest attacker in Akatsuki", said Hidan.

Naruto filed that name for future reference. Haku's senbon began freezing Hidan until he was frozen imobile in a block of ice. Naruto flew over to the slab. The psionic tether ended and Xel came from the forest.

"A clever tactic against an immortal my lord", said Xel.

"Well this should be help. Who knows what we can learn from him", said Naruto.

"If you would allow me my lord, free his head so I may read his mind", said Xel.

Naruto nodded to Haku.

"Alright, but I don't like it", said Haku.

The Ice around his head began to melt. As soon as his mouth was clear he begant to scream at them.

"Fucking bastards let me the fuck out of here", said Hidan.

Then his eyes turned to Xel.

"And who the fuck are you Kisame's uncle or some shit", screamed Hidan.

Xel reaced out and grabbed hidans head. His arms were covered in a soft purple glow. After a moment the glow disappeared. Xel turned to Naruto.

"The fuck was that", screamed Hidan.

Haku quickly froze Hidans head again to shut him up.

"It seems as if this one belongs to a group of S-ranked shinobi who hunt Jinchuriki like yourself my lord. The purpose seems to be to rule the world. How quaint", said Xel.

Naruto looked at the frozen Hiden before him.

"There won't be a world to rule in ten years, but this man is a Jashinist, which means he worships the Shadowed man. Why would he send him here to kill us, I thought he needed me", asked Naruto.

"Form his mind the Shadowed man wanted him to attack you with the intent to test your strength, possibly from your increase in power thanks to your clone, though I suspect he had an ulterior motive. As an Outer God he would see the future so it stands to reason he would know what you are capable of", said Xel.

"Then what is he playing at", asked Naruto.

Xel scratched at his gills for a moment.

"Parhaps as a warning to you against Akatsuki. Should they capture you it would go against his plans. Maybe to warn you what happens if you use his willingness to keep you alive against him. Maybe as something else entirely. I cannot say for sure. Outer Gods cannot be comprehended even by me. Only a Great Old One could come close", said Xel.

Naruto smiled.

"Well it's a good thing I can summon two Great Old Ones", said Naruto.

"Summoning a Great Old One for any reason other than a worthy battle is not wise. Gods are proud beings and will not take kindly to such behavior. Even still the Shadowed man is quite powerful, Father Dagon and Mother Hydra will not know, they are lesser deities", said Xel.

Naruto nodded.

"Well at least we have him, who knows what we can learn with a little experimentation", said Naruto pointing to Hidan.

As soon as he said that the ice began to crack.

"I think he heard us", said Xel.

"Oh you have got to be shitting me", said Zabuza.

The Ice broke open and Hidan jumped out.

"Fuck that's cold", he said as he brushed the ice off.

Zabuza readied his blade but before anything could happen a grey mist came from seemingly nowhere.

"Ok, I did not do that", said Zabuza.

Whispers with no colors of sound came from the forest. Hidan seemed to listen with his head bowed in respect.

"Yes Lord Jashin", said Hidan.

And like that he disappeared, fading into the mist. After only a second the mist disappeared with him.

"What the hell was that", asked Zabuza.

"Long story, I'll tell you about it later. But first lets get you fixed up before that Ice melts and your arm falls off", said Naruto.

They headed back toward the labs talking to each other along they way.

"So squid head, the snake bastard, some guy in the shadows, ROOT, the one tailed Jinchuriki, and an entire group of S-rank criminals where one member is a god damn immortal, seriously kid, you are going to die young", said Zabuza.

"I know, please don't remind me. I have enough problems right now and you pointing them out is not helping", said Naruto.

"Hey don't blame me. I'm only saying. I'm real glad not to be you", said Zabuza.

"You should not tease Naruto", said Haku.

Zabuza waved her off. He looked to the bag that hung off his shoulder.

"Well as long as you are helping me I'll keep my eyes open for anything to help you out", said Zabuza.

"Thank you, you already have done allot by giving me one of my fathers Kunai, who knows maybe I can figure out how it works", said Naruto.

"If you say so, but if all of Iwa couldn't figure it out what makes you think you have a chance", asked Zabuza.

"I am his son, a genius, and have already translated the most sought after book in the multiverse before I even got the Eyes of Azathoth. If anyone can do it, it's me", said Naruto.

Zabuza shrugged. He looked at Naruto trying to find something to say to pass the time.

"So you have three elements", asked Haku.

"Yeah Wind, Water, and Lightning. I find it odd. All of them are related to weather", said Naruto.

"perhaps I can help there", said Xel.

They all turned to see Xel standing off to the side. He leapt next to Naruto.

"Oh I forgot you were following us", said Haku.

Xel ignored her and turned to Naruto.

"For Great Old Ones and Outer Gods there is not five elements but four. Air, Water, Earth, and Fire. For example Cthulhu, Dagon, and Hydra share the elemet water. Fire has Cthugha who is itself a giant living ball of fire. Nyarlathotep and Hastur is air, and Shub-Niggurath the black goat mother of a thousand young is earth. Considering your changes as well as your connection to Dagon and Hydra who share the element water it seems as If you absorbed the element water into yourself. Where lightning and wind came from I do not know. Perhaps one is your orriginal affinity", said Xel.

"It there a way to tell", asked Naruto.

"perhaps wind is the original. After all the paper cut in half before the water and lightning became known. This may indicate you have had it far longer", said Xel.

"Makes since I suppose, so then where did lightning come from", asked Naruto.

Xel scratched at his gills as he thought.

"Who can say, though when wind and water come together you have storms and considering you gained water through eldritch means you were effected by it and gained lightning from the fact that when the two come together you get storms", said Xel.

"But when wind and water meet it makes Ice, I should know", said Haku.

"You forget he uses an eldritch form of water not your water. Eldritch powers are not so easy to explain to mortals. Mortals can use them, but not ever fully understand them", said Xel.

Haku thought on that for a moment. Before turning back to Xel.

"Thats a bit odd, but who am I to judge on things I do not understand", said Haku.

Xel seemed to smile though it looked threatening.

"That may be the wisest thing I have ever heard a mortal say in my long life", said Xel.

"We're here", said Naruto.

They all climbed down the stairs. Zabuza went first as the ice holding his arm in place was melting. Once down they saw Konohamaru reading through the Necronomicon with Herbert. Herbert turned to face them while Konohamaru continued o read. Herbert looked at Zabuza and chuckled.

"Wow, you look like crap", said Herbert.

"Yeah I've heard, so that's your new body. I'm not impressed", said Zabuza.

"So why are you late, you should have been here long ago. I was beginning to wonder if you were dead", said Konohamaru.

"We ran into some problems, sit down this will take a while", said Naruto.

Herbert began sewing Zabuza back together while he listened to the story. Once Naruto finished with his story Zabuza inspected himself as they waited.

"Wow, S-rank team of super ninja, sounds like fun", said Herbert.

"Yes I have given that much thought. Imagine our progress if we can gain them as allies", said Naruto.

"You want to make friends with people who want to kill you", asked Zabuza.

Naruto shook his head.

"No they don't have to know they are allied with me. They only have to ally with CDA", said Naruto.

"How do ou plan on doing that, you would need an S-rank ninja just to catch enough of there attention to contact them", asked Haku.

Naruto turned his head to Herbert.

"Herbert, how do you feel about infiltration", asked Naruto.

Herbert crossed his arms.

"You want me to join them", asked Herbert.

"No, I have a plan, but we need to prepare", said Naruto.

"What about Hidan", asked Haku.

"He doesn't know about Herbert", said Naruto.

Herbert shook his head.

"So what is the plan", asked Herbert.

"Well it's rather simple. Xel come here"

Xel turned to Naruto and shambled toward him.

"I need details on everything Hidan knew about the others in his group. I also what to know where the meet", said Naruto.

"When I read his mind I came up with a lot of that information, I shall comply a full list", said Xel.

"What are you playing at kid", asked Zabuza.

"Simple, Akatsuki probably believes itself secure. Now lets say an S-rank ninja arrives there with knowledge of their members and goals. Now Herbert here tells them about the CDA. This will make them believe we are well-informed and powerful as well as there is an organization who knows everything about them. They could attack Herbert, but He would easily be able to escape after all Herbert has the memories and skills of an S-rank ninja", said Naruto.

"But technically Herbert does not exist. Without any form of infamy would they not attack him on sight believing him to be a nobody", said Konohamaru.

"No that is our greatest asset. An S-rank ninja with no history is a ninja who never got caught. They do not know he has only has existed with this body for a week. They will believe CDA to be so well-connected we can erase identity, or believe our agents are so good they cannot be caught or even seen", said Naruto.

" Making them fear there is a bigger fish out there", said Zabuza as he began to understand.

"Exactly, and the best part is they don't know all the CDA is, is a laboratory under Konoha. Making us untraceable. They would more likely believe we are good at what we do", said Naruto.

"Too good, and this plan relies a lot on them making a lot of presumptions", said Zabuza.

"Yes but all I have to do is make them believe that not one man but a whole organization knows more than it really should. There paranoia will do the rest", said Naruto.

"And what then", asked Haku.

"Then we ask them to help. We will talk to them through agents who would really be clones so they never see who really runs the show", said Naruto.

"Ok so what then", asked Konohamaru.

"Simple, Herbert You need acting classes", said Naruto.

"Sounds boring", said Herbert.

"Just use a transformed clone. We need you to have the air of a highly trained agent who works for an organization that protects humans from alien gods", said Naruto.

"I got a better idea, why not make me a scientist . Make them think the CDA is so hardcore our scientists can kill you like nothing. Make them think our agents can't even be bothered with something as weak as S-rank ninja. After all we are trying to stop fricking gods", said Herbert.

Naruto put his hand to his chin before he sighed.

"I'll think about it. The main focus is getting a team to accomplish objective my clones can't", said Naruto.

"I will take my leave and compile my list of all the immortal knew", said Xel.

"Get me a list of there names and I can see what dirt my contacts have on them", said Zabuza.

"This is going to be amazing", said Herbert.

"Ok onto the next order of business, Herbert please show Zabuza some of the equipment you are working on", said Naruto.

Herbert got up and motioned for Zabuza to follow.

"Trust me, with what I'm building Mist Village is as good as yours", said Herbert.

Naruto turned to Konohamaru.

"So I understand the research into speeding eldritch form is bearing fruit"

Konohamaru nodded.

"Indeed. Though the process will be painful", said Konohamaru.

"What does it entail"

"Well the plan is to use the Deep Ones cells. You see the dormant cells that make up your eldritch form activate when hit by psionic energy of a certain type. I have devised a biological computer using the brain cells of a psionic species to create the psionic tether. The computer can be activated by you. We plan on using the Deep Ones cells. The computer will be of yithian design and be put into you sergically. It will be built into your spine and brainstem. Herbert and I shall do the operation. Once you can achieve eldritch form naturally we will either remove the device or reprogram it for something different", said Konohamaru.

"Well it sounds good, and painful", said Naruto.

"I should also mention you will have to be awake for the surgery", said Konohamaru.

Naruto's eyes widened.

"You want to cut into my spine while I'm awake. Why", asked Naruto.

"We rely on your regenerative abilities to function for the surgery. You need to make sure you focus the foxes chakra to the correct areas so it heals when we need it to, or risk perminant peralasis, brain damage, or even death", said Konohamaru.

Naruto laced his fingers as he thought over the plan.

"Ok, we will do the surgery after the exam. Since I have to meet with Ebisu every other day. That may not be enough time to heal", said Naruto.

"As you wish", said Konohamaru.

Naruto nodded. He stood up and stretched.

"I should get going, I don't have any training with Ebisu so I should be able to come by early", said Naruto.

Konohamaru nodded.

"Yes, I should return home as well. Do not worry about Ebisu, he is a fine teacher of this I can attest", said Konohamaru.

Deep in the forest Hidan stood the Shadowed man. Hidan bowed to the shadowed figure.

"I have done as you asked Lord Jashin", said Hidan.

"Yes, you have. Now go my child and prepare for when I call you again" Spoke dark whispers.

Hidan left the shadowed man. As he did his form shifted and changed. Black armor grew from his skin. His face became blank before holes opened on it. These holes ripped to become many fanged mouths that covered his head. Where the shadowed man once stood was the figure of a samurai who's face was covered in mouths that spoke in deranged whispers. He drew an Ebony Blade from his side.

"Aku-Shin-Kage walks again"