My thoughts

I want so badly to know Jesus to have real genuine relationship with him but I am so confused on what that looks like, I read so much and I pray asking for him to let me know him to be the lord of my life.

I wait patently to hear the faintest whisper from the Holy Spirit. I keep getting worried and looking for signs that the Holy Spirit is with me to know I'm truly saved. But what would be the point of faith if we received continues signs of God's presence and existence.

It doesn't take faith to believe in something we can see, but takes tremendous faith to believe and place our trust in something we can not detect with our senses.

I watch YouTube videos of people getting to see Jesus and heaven and God and dead loved ones or get to see hell. Other's that don't get the privilege of seeing Jesus make it sound like God speaks to them on a regular basis. While some pastors say that God doesn't reveal himself in these ways anymore, you want to know God read the Bible, and label all these people claiming to have seen God and hearing from God regularly as paganism.

I jus recently finished reading the book of Job, and I have to say, my understanding of how awesome God truly is has deepened.

I have learned to be more appreciative of the things I have in my life. For my parents who have been happily married for 27 years now. For my brother who can sometimes be annoying. For my Grandmother that's still alive. For the few people I have in my life I can call friends. For my coworkers who have shown me genuine concern for myself and well being. Since I haven't really been my happy / joyful go lucky self for the past 2 months. For every breath I am allowed to take for every beat of my heart.

Life is a gift from God, and it should be treated as precious no matter what form it takes.

Some people may disagree, if all they have ever known is pain and suffering.

God never intended for anyone to have a miserable life. He created Adam and Eve to be immortal, but they lost that gift when they made the decision to sin against God.

I don't know if anyone will ever read this, these are just some of my thoughts I have, but I just want you to know whatever your going through no matter what it is God loves you, Jesus loves you and he came and died on a cross so that you can be made right with God through the blood of Jesus.

I once watched a video of a pastor preaching, he was once asked "how can a man dying on a tree save me from my sins." And the pastor answered him " because that one man is worth more than all the rest of us put together." Jesus was and is an acceptable sacrifice for our sins because unlike the rest of us Jesus was perfect he lived perfectly and most importantly Jesus was God in the flesh. And he proved his divinity by the miracles he performed and that he was crucified and rose again three days later.

This is all I have to say for today. Might write more later might not, I'm not making any promises.

And if somehow one of my readers from my other popular books finds this. I'm still working on ideas on what I want to write about for my new fiction book.