Chapter 1.2 : Hunger

In front of the female dorm, I looked into the hall on the ground floor of the dorm. I saw couples of dorm-mates were watching dramas together. I carefully examine that auntie Aoy wasn't there. After I was sure that she wasn't there, I walked inside quietly. Suddenly, someone called me.

"Hey, Nat! You're back!"

I was startled because of my guilty. I was afraid that auntie Aoy would find me. When I realized that it wasn't auntie's voice but sister Bee, a kind girl to me who lived at room 302, I felt relieved.

"Yes, P'Bee. I'm back."

I smiled back to her even my heart was pounding so heavy. I imagined that it would be very embarrassing if she knew that I had overdue rental payment.

"Come eat fruits together, won't you? My boss made a merit this morning and she gave me a lot of fruits. All fresh! We have apples, tangerines, pears and many. Come pick up some."

After the end of her invitation statement, I glanced to a big bag which put in front of the TV table. There were many fruits as she told. A big smiled appeared on my face. I could feel that happiness diffused from my emotion expressed.

"Thank you so much, P'Bee. I'll come pick some. But I need to take trashes to the dumpsite. I forgot that there are trashes in my bag."

I said to her with a smile to my eyes to a kind woman—P'Bee and walked to the trashcan near the dorm. I dig into my bag and picked up a big orange I had from the ground, watched it for a while and sighed.

//"I'm sorry to you, orange. Our destiny ends here. I know you wanted to save me. I appreciate that. Even though I don't eat you, but I won't put you into trash. I'll leave you here. There must be someone who pick you up before you get spoiled."//

I didn't know what made me talk to the orange. I was crazy talking to an object because of the starvation.

I shook my head for my craziness and put the orange on the ground next to the trash which I thought it was the least dirty, then smiled. I walked back into the dorm and ignored the orange from then.

*********************

That night, when I was in a deep sleep in my rat hole room on the second floor, at the end of the hallway next to the toilet, I woke up with a fright because of a noise from the room next door. Cheap female door room had thin walls, only plywood separated rooms. I was drowsy but tried to listen carefully what was wrong over there.

"Ahhhh… B..Bank.. I feel spasm…"

"Bank.. Ahh… Hff.. Don't be hurry, please"

"Oh my!… I'm cumming!"

The woman's moan wheezed out at the same time as the noise of a steel bed crashing the wall. I knew how much she tried to hold her moaning voice, it still could be heard clearly though. And it made me had to plug my ears by the pillow with blanket over my head.

//"Damn you!! That dyke Bank takes a girl here again! Don't you have a day off? How craving are you? I need to get to work tomorrow! Finish you fu**** now! I need to get sleep!"//

I cursed him in my head. I couldn't give any sound or signal to let them know that I heard it because I would be in a dilemma when I see Bank, the dormmate next door. So, I let them f*** and moan to heaven while I could only plug my ears.

A virgin girl like me hadn't have sex with anybody. The only thing was my warm fingers which always sent me to heaven. I was at the age I should know how to do when I have a sexual desire. About a boyfriend, it was never be in my mind.

A plain countryside girl hadn't had anyone courting me and I never felt like loving anybody. Only thing in my mind was how can get something to eat and that was desperate enough. Boyfriend was only in my imagination.

Of course, I had dreamed and imagined of having sex with someone often. But I hadn't seen the face. I only remembered the body, and the weirdest was that I was having sex with a woman. I thought if I were a lesbian? Did I like women?

//"Poor Nat. Since you were born, you have never loved anyone, girls nor boys, except for Chris Hemsvorth and Robert Battinson who you imagined that you had sex with them"//

The voice of another me shouted out loud in my head. I argued.

//"Those two guys were men! I like them. So, that means I like mens, not women."//

//"But you also dreamed that you had sex with women as well"//

Another me argued heavily back. I was silent and thinking about it.

//"Why are you keeping your mouth shut? Can't make any more argument, eh?"//

//"I'm not staying silently! I'm making my thoughts. I may hear Bank usually having sex with women and pick those things up and dreamed about it."//

I made an argument. Suddenly, the voice from a woman next to my room moaned again.

"A..ahh… Ohhhhh Bank, please!"

With the sound of the bed crashing to the wall rapidly for another wave. I stopped making a dispute to myself and cursed them instead.

//"What the f***! The dyke Bank!! Where do you get your sexual desire so much!? Are you going to have sex all night!!!? F*** you!!! //

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Rrrrrrr

The alarm I set at 5.40 am woke me up after I could sleep for only a couple hours because of the sexual desire storm from Bank's room which bombarded to the whole floor. I was sure that the other rooms heard that, too. However, as long as there was no one taking an action against this, we left this thing away.

I turned off the alarm with drowsy and turned on the light, grabbed a towel and basket with shower tools to a common bathroom. In this kind of rush hour, the one who woke up earliest would get the best bathroom. I took a shower and brushed my teeth easily and fast. Everything must be in time. I calculated times including travelling time from the dorm to the convenient store which was 2 km far apart. I should be there before 6 am which was the starting time of my shift.

I managed myself rapidly, grabbing a fruit bag which P'Bee shared to me last night as a reward for getting a job. She told me to bring them to my workplace for lunch. I took one tangerine in the bag, peeling it off and ate it while running from the second floor to the front of the dorm. It was very early in the morning, just 6 am that the sun didn't rise. I headed to the trash next to the dorm for putting the rind into trash. I say the orange I left last night in the sudden.

//"Hey!! Why are you still there? I thought a rat or a homeless took you."//

I thought to myself and ignored it afterward. I needed to focus on my first day of work. I didn't want to get there late. And of course, I was so excited of what I didn't know what I would face in my first career. The first step of getting money to feed yourself. Two legs walked fast like almost running in the small road. My future awaited, the future which would take me out of the poverty and starvation. I had no idea that the big orange I left near the trash had transformed from a fresh orange to a spoiled with worms inside in a blink of an eye.