The League of Extraordinary Mermen

Sumas was mostly a diplomat because of Leira. There really wasn't anything they wouldn't try to do for her. And normally they could easily accomplish these things, but they were completely off thanks to the events of this morning. This particular meeting was all the more awkward because it was with the three mermen Leira had tried to set them up with the night they instead hooked up with Suraci...Suraci who was making them crazy.

The three mermen were all quite handsome. Of course if handsome was all Sumas needed they would have hooked up with someone a long time ago. The meeting was more or less to quell the international incident that had almost transpired. It was supposed to reassure them that Sumas was not crazy. Because the truthful retelling of how the night actually transpired would only contribute to the idea that Sumas had lost their marbles, an official story was drafted and narrated. Sumas found this nauseating. The whole situation, like literally every situation they ever found themselves in, was completely fucked up. As soon as this incident was wrapped up they had decided to disappear again into the forest for a while. It was easier on them to be alone than deal with other people's bullshit.

After the meeting one of the mermen called Cire on land (since their merfolk names were difficult for most land creatures to pronounce) pulled Sumas aside. "I'm really only asking this out of my own personal interest, but is it serious with that human?"

Was it? Probably, but not in the way he was asking. It was seriously problematic, but Sumas had never actually agreed to anything with Suraci. They had fucked him that night instead of answering intentionally. Further, they knew where this conversation was going and the last thing they needed was a strained relationship with a mercountry because they decided to date a merman. 'I've really got to quit this job as a diplomat. I'm just becoming a liability because of how complicated my life insists on being' they thought. So, hoping to remove any hope that Cire might have, Sumas said "My life isn't suited to anything serious, and I don't foresee that changing anytime soon."

Cire had tried to grab Sumas's attention before unsuccessfully. He was always regarded as a friend, but even that association was limited. He wondered if things had gone differently that night if he might be with Sumas right now. Was Sumas always holding him at bay because they wanted to spare him their life's trouble? Cire wasn't sure so he tried "I'd like to entertain you indefinitely, but I would still accept a short while if that's all you can accommodate."

'Did I miss some memo about me being open for business?' Sumas thought. It was bad enough their sex life was now an official matter of state. They just couldn't handle this any more. They needed to see Leira and resign. "Your offer is always very flattering, but I think you will find yourself happier with someone else." Sumas attempted to gracefully decline.

"Uma, I've known you almost as long as Leira has. You are the most interesting creature I've ever met. I don't want to make you uncomfortable, but I don't think anyone could make me as happy as you already do. What would it take for you to give me a chance?" Cire said grabbing Sumas's arm and looking into their eyes.

"Cire" Sumas sighed heavily "I can't do this right now."

Cire let them go and they quickly walked away.

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Leira was sitting at her desk buried behind a mound of tasks showing up on the queue on her screen. She never really wanted a leadership position, but had to take it to end the reign of the previous oppressive ruler. The work was, at times, soul crushing. None of the decisions were easy and it was impossible to be perfect. She tried her best to embrace the worst about herself and own all her bad decisions so that she could always be better than she was, but nobody likes the feeling you get when you know you've fucked up.

Sumas knew it was going to break Leira's heart when they put in their resignation, but they knew how to let the position go without Leira feeling at fault. Of all the friendships Sumas had, Leira was more like family. She was perhaps the only person who didn't see Sumas through the lens of their trauma, but instead understood them. This was, in part, because Leira had suffered trauma too, but where Sumas had never entirely escaped, Leira had overcome and conquered, ironically, with Sumas's help.

Sumas walked slowly into Leira's office. "Hey," they said sheepishly.

"Oh hey how did the meetings go?" Leira asked still looking at their screen.

"I need to talk to you." Sumas cut to the chase.

"That bad, huh? Ok shoot." Leira said as she closed her screen down.

"I need to resign." Sumas was blunt.

Leira was taken aback. "You're kidding."

"I'm not, listen, I need a break, for me. I've reached my limit with stress and I can't do this anymore. My physical health is always unstable, I'm always running from my captors and it damn near caused an international incident. While I know you can and do forgive me, I think it's unwise if I continue with this position. I could never forgive myself if I cost you everything you've worked so hard to build these years by jeopardizing your rule. My life is too complicated right now. I hope you understand. I want this to be effective immediately." Sumas's voice quivered on the verge of crying.

"I realize I can't force you to stay, but is there any way I can get you to reconsider?" Leira was shellshocked.

"No. I will help you find and train a replacement though." Sumas half smiled.

"Ok." A single black pearl slipped out of Leira's eye. "You know you'll always have a home here."

"Don't you cry on me now. I'm going to be leaving for a bit tomorrow, but I won't be gone for more than a week. We'll spend some time together tomorrow before I go." Sumas held back the tears and slipped out of Leira's office.

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The day was winding to a close. Suraci had done some research on Sumas's favorite foods and had ordered them to the executive suite. He had everything sitting out for when Sumas returned. He had also prepared a few of his favorite dishes for them to try.

When Sumas came in they were a little stunned by the setup. It was thoughtful. Was he trying to apologize or woo them? Either way they needed to end this quickly. "I'm going to soak in the pool for a bit, you don't have to wait for me." Sumas's voice was pretty cold.

"Can I talk with you in the pool?" Suraci said knowing something was up.

"Suraci, don't you think it's time you went back?" Sumas, instead of going to the pool just sat down at the table and got a few degrees colder.

"What do you mean?" He felt like ice was pricking his heart.

"I mean how long do you think we can play house like this? You aren't even from this galaxy, and you can't run forever like I am." Sumas said sternly.

"About that, I want to deal with that problem together. With my inside knowledge and your skills I think we have a decent shot at ending that abomination and protecting your planet from future assaults." Suraci brought up several maps with his badge.

"You don't think I could have stolen a badge before? How many times did I return yours to you?" Sumas was almost at subzero.

"I'm not talking about the badge. I'm saying you'll have me on the inside this time. You won't have to anticipate them. You'll know what they're doing and when." Suraci said. "Look, whatever you do or don't want with us is irrelevant. I know you want that place shut down and so do I, but I don't think I can do it by myself."

This was definitely divergent from the third pattern they saw in him before. He actually wanted change and not just so he could feel good about helping them, but because he found the despicable things that were going on to be morally repugnant. Could this man actually have both character and curiosity? Sumas was interested. "I'm listening."

For the next several hours they went over plans, discussed strategies and ate food. After a while their conversation turned casual. And before they knew it they were laughing.

"Did I ever tell you about the time Womby ate diuretics because she thought they were birth control seeds?" Sumas chuckled.

"How often is she stealing those seeds from you, and what's her objection to foraging them for herself?" Suraci giggled.

"Honestly, I think she doesn't want to be viewed as easy. If she takes someone else's they're not 'hers' so she can feel like she doesn't 'need' them and maintain some cognitive dissonance over her own feelings about her promiscuity." Sumas gave an armchair diagnosis complete with finger quotes. "She probably tells herself each time that it's an isolated incident for specific reasons instead of just acknowledging that she likes it. Then each time it's for this or that reason instead of just because she wants to."

"How do you put up with the lack of awareness others have of themselves?" Suraci asked candidly.

"I don't." Sumas confessed. They were shocked by this conversation. It wasn't going anywhere they had anticipated and that was such a good thing. They went on "It's the main reason I'm not close with very many people."

"That seems reasonable. You have more than enough difficulty in your life, you don't need the difficulty of others." Suraci could emphasize somewhat having to constantly deal with a different kind of incompetence in others.

"But Womby's different y'know. I think she does her best, all things considered, and really all I can expect from someone is that." Sumas's voice got tender when talking about Womby.

"That's very fair." Suraci smiled. "I'm really loving this conversation but I think I should take a shower and go to bed soon otherwise I'm going to be really tired tomorrow."

"I suppose it is getting late. Thank you for taking the time to talk." Sumas smiled.

"Hahaha you don't have to thank me. It was a nice excuse to get to know you better." Suraci said as he walked into the shower room.

Sumas sat there for a minute and then decided to follow him.