XII

"Sir, I am to say my apology to you for my long pause from writing, Perhaps I was not feeling well or I was evasively ignoring the pages, but now I am to write the letters for you again, it has been hard and harder to even have my thoughts conceal with those ideas of perils that my uncle had forced me to walk past. I was settled onto the messy floor that reeked with my tears as Uncle was on me, domineering against my own will, though I did not complain, I was not intended to do, and I was to hold my tears until Uncle had left me alone with my grieve and the throbbing pain, he had stopped his vile act now and I could spot the satisfaction in his eyes then I wondered, at what cost did he was absorbing the satisfaction, in cost of my young self and to efface my lovely memories with those perturbed times? To encumber his hard responsibilities onto the shoulder of a girl? Not even a woman? Or say to satisfy his sexual desire at the cost of my stifle? I hated every breath that I took within his house or say under him. I had been fighting with my urge to strike his head with a knife or watch while his head gulped out blood, I wondered was his blood painted red or if was it entirely black. Perhaps, in my imagination his blood must have repented or his eyes must have produced the tears when my hands had murdered and when I had set free his wicked soul, sir I beg to ask your forgiveness for I acted under the coercion of my smoldering temper on a certain circumstances, I must come to the story. As he had satisfied his needs and desire, he was detained to leave me and venture somewhere, perhaps to get drunk once again, while now I was alone, shuddering as my tears ruled my cheeks, and my parched soul could not bear the pain and suffering anymore. I was to go to Jenny and act under the impression of being normal and not bear any pain once again, Perhaps I was the only one derailed in this cage, and I was to sacrifice myself just for the sake of Jenny and Uncle, The misery of myself that I was to experience again and again, sir I could not write about it, perhaps let me jump to what matters in your eyes, the event which led to me this pot-hole or to be wind up in a chain, and provide a nice opportunity to doctors to abstain their name from the misery of poorness. Let me indulge in that.

19 June 1889 – The day was gloomy and for the speculation of my marriage, Uncle had decided the date and I knew I was not ready yet I had not a word on this, but as I was detained to follow Uncle, I was to follow him in this regard as well, he was to marry me the next day. I had heard my uncle when he was indulging in a conversation with a stranger. He had taken me to get the dress for the marriage and at the exact moment, I wondered how he had resolved the problem of money. We were near the parch regarding the money but he was more than happy to buy me a nice dress and make me a lady even for a day, I suppose he had won a bet, though it was such a trifle in my life that I did not tumble to seek answers from him anyway, I noticed a man who was contemplating at us for such a long time and as I was concealed upon the terms with the dress yet my side eyes were locked onto the man, I had my doubts that he was to do something wicked to us, but my heart skipped me when I saw the man approaching towards us. He smelled so well and his cheeks were shaven like a gentleman, though it seemed utterly preposterous to my eyes, he looked at me with his quietly pertinacious way and said nothing to me but he whispered some sentences to Uncle's ears and before I could budge my lips Uncle had honoured me a request of his kind words.

"Evelyn, you must select the dress while I am gone, Do not fret I will return before you can have a blink."

I came to the agreement with my sullen hesitation, and before I could come to my senses, Uncle had hidden with the Man, I was having doubts about the man so I lingered here and there and in the sudden urge to hear the question of the man and the answer of my uncle. I waited until my agitation caught up with me, and I ventured to the direction where Uncle had headed, perhaps it seemed that the reason for my protruding nervousness was because of what had occurred with my parents, and I was not ready to honour myself with the death of an uncle, not so soon for the sake of our lives, he was profaned to look after us but if any ordeal occurs to him as well then we may very well be alone once again, and I suppose we were not such things that were imperishable. I walked and when I stopped I saw Uncle while he was talking but his face had the reaction of derisions of sorts or he was abstained from the world. I passed the alley while I was staying far from their sight, I was closer now yet their words did not reach my ears for me to prose, and I was devastated by that, but as they shook hands when their conversation ended, I saw a glistering of smile on Uncle's face, though as he was returning to his old position, his face turned to unearthly quietness when he spotted me, that sets the odious mark on my eyes, I understood clearly that it was some ordeal for myself that my Uncle had no intention to let me know. His eyes had assailed me and I half expected his lie to prostrate in front of me, though when he saw his lips trembled and I supposed that the surprise had struck him very poorly.

"What does that man want?" I announced my question.

"Bah, It was nothing,"

It was perfectly natural for me to inquire further in this regard, however there I was writhing with my memories of his vile consumption of handling my young temper and that forced me to not speak about the man, well least for a while.

"Hurry, we must buy a dress for you now,"

Though now, the excitement of dresses had resigned me and the eeriness had taken over, I intelligibly understood my heart, it was obliged to ask the question soon we were left alone. When we finished the measurement of my body and when were fated to walk home, I decided to ask him, expecting his odious reaction which he invariably used to do, though when I found the time to ask well my fortitude had deserted at the very least moment and I could not lift my lips to speak as I was scared of his anger but when we reached home and when he was settled nicely onto a chair while his tranquility seemed to be there under the presence of his cheery mold, I tumbled upon to ask the question.

"I was wondering, what were the man's words that satisfied you in such a great manner?" I asked, and saw his eyes turned up the utter reaction though this time it felt no anger but worries.

"Dear, as I told you, it was nothing that could need your heeds,"

"Perhaps, this seems to not be a good start, in a few days I will be betrothed to you yet you are refusing to share any matters, I suppose you do not want me as your wife, do you?"

Sir let me explain, he was so easily able to pester me whenever I was to say a matter that was indeed regarding our marriage. Perhaps, he was not in a position to let me go free, but I understood it quite early to use it to my advantage, now let me venture into the story.

The effect that my words had produced on him, his reaction perhaps was not surprising altogether, and I saw the wicked man that was intended to do no kind works instead to harm anyone. I saw his true form when he rose and his lips trembled to speak, and the prescient sadness that he may avow me to, perhaps I was not ready for that.

"Evelyn, You need no reason to know about this, yet if you force me to say then I must warn you dear, this may hold such a pang for yourself,"

I looked at his preoccupied look and while he moved his lips, I held myself to hear his words clearly, though when he finished his sentence, the pang did not pass unexpectedly as the matter was much more important than any such matter that I had faced, the man had offered Uncle a bulk of money but in exchange of that he may very well take Jenny with himself.

"Do not fret, Jenny will only need to assist in the house-work, he will not be far, I will take you daily for you to meet him there,"

But Jenny was such a fragile kid and I knew that any kind of work may break him, I am no person to measure his abilities but I have lived with him for a long time, and I must say even the news of this decision may pester him to a limit that even the look on his face would inform you about his desire. I looked at my Uncle while I intended to reject his request though his face had the absence of his kindness, and that provided me with amazing trouble.

"Evelyn, do not overthink, it will oblige us to a good life dear,

Sir, I do not tend to suppose that there is an excuse for my submissive self in this regard, and I do not hold any such regrets to my decision as I now understand that this decision of my Uncle had his death penetration. I agreed to his terms without any hesitation, though at the said times, I agreed with the knowledge of his obstinate self, I knew he would have taken Jenny regardless of my effort.

"I will assure you, we will have our happy life afterward, we will have our farm, horses, everything that you may have wished for until your parents 'dismay, but for that, I must confirm the agreement of Jenny from you, I do not want to have anything without your knowledge or your consent, so dear, say it."

He said with such delightful confidence that I felt as if he was ascertaining his claims over me and Jenny for one more time, and I felt as if I had no choice but to coquet.

"Promise me that you will fulfill your promises that you will take me to Jenny every day,"

"Oh yes, Do not have your worries about that, Perhaps Jenny will only have to work for a year or so and after that, I will have him home."

Though his words could not convince me, I could not have my belief on his dialect truthiness of words, it is no trifle in my eyes, and as you have already understood, I was to protect my brother and no one else. After he finished his announcement he rose from his chair once again and delighted himself with the heat of sunlight, though I did not have my worries enough to wonder where was he to go while I was tensed upon the topic of Jenny, but now I was alone and Jenny was out, having his time of enjoyment, I had decided to not inform Jenny and to have it handle it upon my shoulders, yet my serenity was missing. I walked out and saw Jenny, he was alone, No kids had the fortitude to come out and play as if they were captured and they were told to not go out of their houses, as if the alleys were a stile for them, perhaps it did not force Jenny to discern his loneliness as there were no souls in our past life for him to play with as well, see sir, I have always thought of Jenny as maturer than what had become of other infancy of his ages, and I have always thought of himself as he was to discern the serious regards with the highly educated penetration than to say myself, yet I was heartedly assured of the kind of work that my Uncle had in his thoughts would pester him with such profound of ordeal, perhaps he will be discomposed by the indignation, the unfair treatment by the lord of the house, perhaps it will conceal me with utter penitence! Sir, enough about me and my thoughts, now let me consume myself to fill you with your desirable answers.

23 June 1889 – This time the day was bright and the sun had stolen the gloomy whispers of the clouds, I was to ready myself for the marriage, there were a lot of guests to come, say there were all bad men, sir, if you are wondering how Uncle had managed to scalp the number of shillings for the marriage and to have this portion of the gorgeous ocean, so I tend to think that he had poured himself onto the debts and had the intention to make himself free with the money he may receive from the man, sir, I think it is a trifling matter for an urgent gentleman like you, so I will not hold your any crucial time and say what I was employed to since the beginning of our journey. The dress had settled against my eyes, it was white as it always is, and I was to dress without my consent, sir, I had always wondered that when I marry I would be invigorating, least my husband will be the force for me to feel the invigoration, but if I have to say about Uncle, then I felt disgusted, and I was a servant, that his words were a decree, or his request, which was a decree as well. Now if you may venture to think that I had failed to discern the matter regarding Jenny, then I am afraid I need to correct you, Yes, I have my regret as to why I led the circumstances to come this way as they occurred, Yes I had the accession to make it different, yet I was driven by my vehemence. Sir, you must stay patient for I will soon announce the complete incident. As the time came nearer I flurried and I was not ready to betroth myself with his name, not so soon, amply, I heard a knock on my door, and to my surprise, It was Uncle, he was dressed superbly and for a moment, I felt as if he was young and lively as mine, cleanly shaved and those bad features had whisked away. The eyes stuck upon me and his lips moved as his feet.

"Why are you not dressed already?" He asked, his voice was filled with the delicacy of his own, yet I could not forget his perpetual ill-tempered just for a second of good behavior. I replied with my delicacy.

"I will, for sure I will,"

He smiled and deserted me with my hopeless suffering. I fervently hoped that this remarkable vagabond may get solemn, yet wasn't the four months enough? His unscrupulous manner could never desert me. When I dressed I walked out and there I found the same man who was so desperate and so imperfect to have my brother, and amply, my uncle greeted him as he became additionally solemn, and I wondered what had become of him when he was with me and what had become of him when he was with the man? Perhaps, money has a valid reason for everything, least for men, they can sell their dignity with no honour as well, perhaps it can bend their honour, perhaps the money is adequate to deal with any such problems, just as any man, my Uncle had been driven mad by the meagre of money, Pardon me, sir, I do not mean to harm your dignity, you are to earn the money by your skills and respect, though I very well understand that it is required for any seriousness may it be earned with respect then I suppose it holds the power that men think that it has. Oh dear lord, I am distracted once again, money only holds the power of distraction, sir my apologies are yours, now I dare to return to the story.

Just before I failed to hear their conversation but this time I felt, of course, at the time to hear what they may be discussing, and before I could disperse behind the walls that were situated between them and the door of a warehouse, I saw Jenny, dressed in such a cute dress and was waiting for a bird to come by the corner of the ocean, he was delighted with the scenery of birds and their chirping and as I am destined to write about birds once again, I am fascinated by them once again, as I was trapped and to delight my Uncle whenever he wished, and the matchable fear the birds has, they are detained to delight the nature, the ocean with their presence, perhaps humans as well, they enlighten their eyes with birds' CRY. They are free, yet they are trapped with the obedience of the orders of the assessed levels, and they may follow the unjustified orders, and still, their peace is discomposed, and as I was free to have a house yet I was to follow the ordeal orders of Uncle otherwise our peace could be discomposed, sir At the time I did not pour my focus much on the birds while I shrugged and decided to pour my attentive eyes onto their decision as to what will have the use of my brother, and as I sneaked nearer, I heard the man's soothing voice, he had the voice remarked with the delicates accent of a rich person As expected and my Uncle was the submissive one in the conversation.

"Sir, you may wait until my marriage for you to have him,"

"For what purpose I would wait here?!"

"You do not know Evelyn, if she gets the knowledge of our agreement then it will be much more difficult to fulfil our friendship's responsibility,"

"Do not, Do not think of us as friends, I am here for business purposes and I am here to take the child!"

"Oh Good God! This is the final request that I am expecting you to have fulfilled, Let me have my marriage then I will have Evelyn and you will have Jenny, I will purport her with my reasoning or say with the reasons regarding Jenny, her viewing is so relevant to Jenny that I assure you she will follow me for the sake of her brother and so on you can do anything that you wishes, we do not want any relation with him."

As those words flew out of Uncle's lips my feet were jammed in my position, for the expected surprise and when I first tried to move I could not, my legs were in such horror that they froze and were chilled to the bone, though I succeeded the second time I tried. Before a word could be spoken between the two perilous persons, I ventured to shout Jenny.

"Jenny! Come here!" and I succeeded in stealing the attention of him, yet the attention of Uncle as well, Before Uncle could seize his senses, I ran with Jenny to my cabinet and shut the door against the face of the cruel world. I knew the utter desperation of the man, why he was in such a hastily mood to have Jenny within the sights of himself, I knew what cruelty he was supposed to pour onto Jenny, I had understood it.

"Evelyn? What is happening? Why did you call me in such a hurry? I was just playing there," Announced Jenny.

"Shut Up, Jenny, and do as I say," I told him to ascertain the dangers to him, and just as I completed my sentence, the knock dispersed on my ear and I felt the lump in my heart as if Uncle had perished it, I had no fear for myself, I endeavored for Jenny, he was so young and lively and I could not foresee to have his childhood be pestered by those bastards!

"Evelyn, open the door," I decided to ignore him.

"Open the door you damn whore!"

I was scared and felt this manner of mine ignoring Uncle could temporise the prescient event in bringing the vilest manner in him, and before he could knock once again, I opened the door for Uncle while my heart was skipping me.

"Do not! Do not dare to say a word!" I announced,

"Evelyn, it was a lie for the satisfaction of his needs, he is a customer and I must provide him with the happiness he seeks,"

"Let us go, Uncle, you may never see us, Let us go peacefully and we will free you of your burden,"

How fool of me to even have a thought concealed upon my mind to think that he could provide us the escape from himself, oh silly me.

"Do not fool me, I will not let you go and that man will get what he wishes, with your consent or say without your consent!"

I stood still, against the murky eyes of Uncle and his fury self, and while I wished to move my lips yet I trembled, still, I had the urge to block the ways of Uncle, Jenny was well hidden behind me, sir I must mention my vehemence, no matter what I had ventured to make my mind, that I could not let The Uncle's finger to even reach him, and for that, I was sure, that it could ignite the unscrupulous rage within himself.

"It will not end any good for you, move away from my sight!" he announced again but before that, he had shut the door behind himself to escape from entertaining the crowd.

"Let us go for god's sake, you wicked bastard!" I shouted at his face, and he pushed me away from the sight of himself with all powers that he had mustered, I fell onto the table and I have my remembrance that my head had spurred onto a table, and with its blow, I could not succeed in returning my senses, Uncle had his fingers reaching to Jenny and he moved briskly and hastily to him.

"Evelyn, wha…. What's happening? Is--- going to h---- me?" my eyes were providing a moment of unconscious rest while my ears could not receive Jenny's cry, he moved his little legs backwards, away from Uncle, sir I must seek your forgiveness as I do not have my memories clear on the account of the incident since here, though I remember in bits and pieces, so when I opened my eyes, I seized my uncle solemnly forcing Jenny while his honour was relished by such imagination of money that I am forced to be ashamed for him and that I was to delight myself to even have a thought that he might intelligible the responsibility of sorts and may he tend to behave in regard of being a gentleman once we were married, I suppose I was proven wrong at the time, I looked up while my eyes were yet to be wakeful as those were weary though I managed to found a lamp and I behold it within my fingers, I hardly know when I roused myself, I hardly remember when I groped the lamp that was situated onto a table, all I remember was my weary eyes that I could not spot any such things clearly, surely it was before Uncle could do any harm to Jenny, though I have the sights of myself hammering his head with the lamp, one time, two times and more and more as his head creaked without having a single hint of what had occurred to him, then I dedicated my hits with the rage and vehemence for what pain he had deliberately poured onto me, one time, two times and more, Sir I do remember when my cramped sensation had left me, the feeling of chilled fever and the illness that seemed to be situated onto my head, surely it was Jenny, he had employed himself to speak out loud my name and shook me hard enough for me to return to my senses.

"Evelyn? Evelyn?" Those words reached me with no hesitation and with such a hastily manner, then I saw it, I saw it all, my sin and my crime, Uncle was dead and his head was entirely opened as blood had found the way to fall out, my white dress was painted red while I stood still with the remarkable mark of my sin onto my hands.

"Jenny? What have I done?" I turned and asked Jenny, yes sir, he was scared and full of doubts himself, but still, he managed to represent his exaggerated love for me when he came and hugged me tightly.

"I am so sorry Jenny, I am so sorry," I cried but before we could have a peaceful moment, I felt the sudden urge of nauseous and I quickened to understand what had happened to me, what had Uncle done to me, he was yet to haunt us even though he was dead already.