first night - part 1

It took me a few minutes of internal debate and mild panic to figure out how to get down from the roof, but eventually, I decided on the straightforward approach: jump. I aimed for the fire escape, clumsily dropping down with a clang that probably woke up someone in the building. Thankfully, my kinetic absorption made sure my legs stayed intact and not fucked

but, my dignity? Not so much. "ok, should probably learn how to drop well. Didn't expect it to be that hard." 

After that introduction to falling well, I began walking through the quiet streets of Musutafu. The city at night was eerily serene, the faint hum of neon signs and streetlights being the only sound I could hear. So, for a good ten whole minutes, I wandered aimlessly, expecting to stumble upon something exciting. but nada, nothing. Just, nothing.

After this discovery of, nothing, I let out a long fake definitely for show sigh "You know," I muttered, spinning the pipe lazily in my hand, "I thought there'd be more going on. Not gonna lie. But I guess that's a good thing. Maybe?" I then suddenly remembered the Reddit post and realized 'I should go to a poorer place.'

So with that realization.

I burrowed further out of the city, sliding down through alley after alley until I was in a part of town that was one people call crime-like.

This place reminded me of like, those hood places, dark and fucking filled with criminal activity. Which, is exactly the part of town he wants to be in. "this is a great spot" I mused with a small grin of happiness, as I walked, now spinning the PIPE in my hand like one would do to a pencil in class while being bored out of their mind.

And it was not long until all that walking paid off, as my eyes came across the scene of a mugger, trying to shake a guy's money, right out of him.

 'now, I could hit her across the head and be done with it, buuut, I do want a fight fight. I mean, it's just a knife.' I finished my thought with a nod before clearing my throat to get her attention.

"HEY lady, what you doin." The second my words left my mouth the woman's head snapped around to face me, eyes narrowing, she gave me a threatening glare that was supposed to intimidate meButut really, it made me almost snort.

Yeah, I don't take things seriously, like at all. Unless it's pain, then I'll cry like a bitch baby.

"The fuck you want?" she barked out as she waved her knife at me, trying to, intimidate me. But I guess she rolled a nat 1 cause it wasn't working, it was a knife. The fuck's a knife gonna do.

She gazed at me for a second before she realized what I was trying to do. "Trying to play hero, huh? What're you gonna do kid? Cry to Mommy? Get lost before I gut you like a fish!" she threatened with venom leaking from her voice, her eyes lingered on me for a moment, her hand still on the guy's shoulder, making him stay put, and the guy. well, he looked like he was going to piss himself any second.

After another few seconds of me not doing anything, she got visibly annoyed that her threat did not ward me off so she shouted again with a "Scram!" clearly hoping I'd just fuck off already. 

But obviously, I didn't. That's no fun.

I raised the pipe slightly, tilting my head with a cocky smirk, but not pointing at myself as that is a curse that leads to failure. "Nah. Hitting you means that guy keeps his money and his pants. So, I'm gonna do it. For his pants."

I launched forward towards her and raised the pipe above my head, since I was only across the street it was just a second to get across. 

Before she could respond, I bolted forward. She shoved the guy aside and squared up, ready to stab me. But sadly for her, a knife. Does not have range. But a meter-long pipe? That does.

I swung the pipe at her wrist, knocking the knife from her grip with a loud clang. Her eyes widened in panic, but she didn't have time to react before I slammed the pipe into her side. She staggered, letting out a strangled gasp as the wind left her lungs.

"Have fun in jail," I quipped before swinging the pipe one last time into her shoulder. She crumpled to the ground, unconscious, her body sprawling in a heap.

"that was easy" I mused as my eyes scanned her still form that was currently knocked the fuck out and sprawled across the floor. 

Turning to the guy she'd been mugging - who was currently staring at me with relief and fear, - I asked, "You good? Any injuries?" he, after hearing my questions kinda just. . . stopped computing. irl blue screened.

So I watched as the guy tried (and I mean tried) to stammer out a response. But, in the end, nothing coherent to the human ear comes out.

"oookaaaay. Well, do you have a cell phone?" I asked, I asked. He nodded shakily, fumbling to pull it from his pocket.

"Good. It's probably best if you call the cops. They'll be able to take care of her." I said gesturing to the unconscious mugger.

Who funnily enough had quite the peaceful expression on her, unlike before, when she looked like she would take a kangaroo in a 1v1 fight. Just because she felt like it.

I walked up to the fallen woman Pulling out some zip ties I had bought an hour before just in case (cause it would be pretty bad if they just up and left before the cops showed up) and quickly secured her wrists.

"Good enough," I commented on my work while standing up, just as the guy started dialing the police.

Noticing that the police might come soon, I gave him a lazy wave and said "Good luck with not getting mugged next time. but if ya do, I'll probably help out again. Also, if you need a name for me. call me. . . Bedlam" and With my introduction finished, I turned around jogging off, disappearing around the corner fucking off before any cops could show up.

(not like they would in that short time but being cautious is a good trait to have)

and once I was far enough away, I slowed down to a walk, glancing around to make sure I was alone. I pulled out my phone and checked the time. 1:15 a.m.

"still plenty of time, think I'll go back at around 4 ish," I muttered, stretching my limbs before heading off to patrol the area again. Hoping for more action.

A/N - I changed up my style a Tiny Weeny Little bit, to be a tiny bit more, I'd say, ao3 like I guess. But I'm still going to swear like a drunken sailor, and I'll definitely still keep the crack in. cause I loooove crack (for legal reasons I don't)