Chapter five: the beginning of the Con

The Sunday that followed Evelyn insisted the family goes to church. So as was custom the Mwenya's packed themselves into their luxury vehicle and where on their way. On this occasion they Mwenya's thought they were making good time.

 When they arrived at 7:30am for a service that was supposed to begin at 8am. They were dumbfounded to learn that they were 30 minutes late. Evelyn immediately began "you see I told you we should have gotten up earlier, sister Bettina had informed me the times had changed,"Evelyn runted. "Right! but then it's you, who took an eternity to get ready," George responded. This mini conversation continued till the Mwenya's were at the entrance of the church, were among other church officials and ushers, was sister Carolina dressed in light blue choir garb.

 Carolina noticing the micro argument the two where having decided to strike. "Good morning sir," she said addressing only George. "welcome to the jerusalem gold family church," Carolina continued. " Thank you but we are not new to the church," George replied. "Really how long have you been a members here?" Carolina queried. "Well we've been attending the service here for over two years now," George replied. "Forgive my bluntness, but who might you be? I've never seen you around here," George asked curiously. "Oh sorry, I didn't introduce myself I'm sister Carolina, the new lead singer," Carolina replied. "Well that's good to hear the choir really needed some new, young blood, maybe you can teach this old dog some new tricks," Carolina laughed a little too hard at George's remarks catching everyone's attention. "I'll do my best," she said finally. Noticing Evelyn's scowl Carolina added "what a lovely family you have." "thank you, this is my wife Evelyn and the two rug rats are esther and George jr," George gave a quick introduction. Carolina again laughed musing at George's choice of words 'rugrats'. Evelyn cut the conversation short when she said "let's go find our seats if their any left." "Everyone is late hunny there's plenty of room still left in the church," George responded.

 The Mwenya's were led to their seats by an usher while the children were led away to Sunday school. No sooner than the Mwenya's had settled down than Carolina led the choir in an opening hymn and she could really sing, so much so she could give professional singers like Adele a run for their money. "That Carolina can really sing," Evelyn declared probingly. "and she's beautiful too," George replied without fore thought. Noticing his wife's changed expression George altered his initial sentiments to add "beautiful in the lord," George uttered. "Uko! I saw they way you were looking at her at the door," Evelyn retorted. "Looking at who?, I was just being polite hunny," George said in his defense. "Polite is that what you call it?" Evelyn asked. "Yes and what do you call it?" George asked dredding the answer. "I call it flirting," Evelyn said sharply.

 As George struggled to convince his wife that he only had eyes for her. The Apostle Meschak donning an all white silk gown, that was long enough that you couldn't see his feet and a golden scarf, floated to the pondium almost as if he were levitating on a cushion of air. 'Good morning children of God," The Apostle Meschak began. "It is truly a blessing to be in the house of the lord, Amen!" Apostle Meshack said in an unusually hoarse voice. "Amen!" The church responded in unison. "God is good!" The Apostle Meschak prompted. "All the time!" Was church's response. "And all the time!" Apostle Meschack continued the prompt. "God is good!" The church responded.

 Evelyn seeing an opportunity to get back at George for his imagined transgressions against her said "what a handsome man." To which George jokingly responded "you're welcome to him if you let me have sister Carolina" iritating on Evelyn's spirit further. 

 The Apostle Meshack then proceeded to give a profound sermon on fidelity in marriage. He went on about how marriage was ordained by God and how the married couple were seen as one in the eyes of the almighty. He further went on to state that husband's should love and be loyal to their wives and how wives should submit to their husbands. 

 The longer the Apostle preached, the more ferocious were the daggers that Evelyn stared at her husband. If looks could kill George had died 1000 times that morning. To Evelyn it was as if the entire sermon was about them, as though they pastor had called them into his office and given them a private lecture. 

 Apostle Meshack ended his sermon by announcing that if there were any couples who had marital problems to feel free to visit his office for counseling. A church official then took over and gave that weeks announcements and closed the service in prayer. 

 As was custom the choir sung the congregation out of the church while the congregants cordially shared pleasantries. The congregation soon gathered into a small crowd outside of the church. The wives bundled together in small groups catching up on the latest gossip, the men also formed groups of their own discussing anything and everything trying desperately not to talk about how the pastor threw them under the bus in his sermon.

 The children who were arriving from Sunday school joined their guardians once again. 

 Suddenly Carolina shouldered herself through the crowds to where George was standing "how did I do?" She asked. "Splendid, the old dog has definitely learned new tricks," George said smiling. "Didn't know you could sing like that," George added. Another man in the group commented "you're going to be the reason I attend church every Sunday," all the men in the group concurred with laughter, much to the displeasure of the women folk who were standing not too far off. "Here you go George, this is a mix tape of all the new songs the choir will be releasing in the new album," Carolina said handing George a CD. "Are you on it, " George inquired. "I am on every song," Carolina replied smiling. " Well then I'll listen to it every chance I get," George replied. The entire group broke out into laughter at George's remarks catching the attention of everyone. It was all Evelyn and the other wives could do to keep their composure.

 The return trip home was characterized by awkward silences interrupted only by Evelyn blurting out, under her breath, deregotary remarks aimed at her husband. 

 No sooner had the stepped into the house, than Evelyn's phone began to ring. It was a strange number, Evelyn let it ring. The phone rung a second time this time Evelyn could ignore it no longer "hello!" Evelyn answered. "Is this Mrs Mwenya?" The hoarse voice in the phone inquired. "Yes it is and whom am I speaking to," Evelyn replied. "This is Apostle Meshack," the voice replied. "I had a very bad, yet prophetic dream about you and your husband last night," Meshack said. "About my husband and I, why?" Evelyn asked shocked. "That's what I'd like to discuss with you, whenever you can spare a moment," Apostle Meshack replied. Evelyn fearing the worst promptly set an appointment with Apostle Meshack at 12am to coincide with her lunch break the following noon.

 12am sharp on a Monday morning Evelyn was at the pastors office. An usher told her to wait on a bench outside as the pastor was otherwise engaged. 

 A few minutes later a sobbing woman walked out of the office and Evelyn was allowed to enter.

 "Good morning my sister?" The Apostle Meshack said elated.

 "Good morning pastor," Evelyn responded.

 "It is a blessing to see you here today, in such good health," Apostle Meshack continued.

 "Thank you pastor," Evelyn replied. "I'd like to know what your dream was about?" Evelyn added.

 "Oh my sister I had the most frightful dream about you and your husband," Apostle Meshack said almost trembling. 

"What was it? Pastor," Evelyn asked.

 "Well you and your family were having a safari picnic lunch in a national park, the children were having the time of their life, I seem to remember Esther was particularly happy laughing and joking with everyone," Apostle Meshack was saying before...

 "Esther! joking?, this must have been a very happy occasion, Esther is such a reclusive child, lord knows how hard I try to get her out of her shell," Evelyn interrupted.

 "Yes but wait there's more," The Apostle interjected. 

"You then sent George away to collect some drinks, on his way back Hyenas attacked, the chased George in one direction while you and the kids retreated to the safety of a nearby tree," Meshack narrated.

 "What, does this mean pastor?" Evelyn asked concerned. 

"Well my sister the interpretation of this dream is some how prophetic in nature, to begin with the picnic means you and George had or still have a happy and safe family, am I correct," Apostle Meshack asked for confirmation. 

"Yes pastor go deeper pastor," Evelyn responded.

 "But your marriage and family is being attacked by demons disguised as beautiful women," Apostle Meshack continued.

 "Yes pastor go deeper," Evelyn replied almost demanding. 

"You're are having marital problems, are you not?" The Apostle Meshack asked in a compelling tone. 

"Well my husband and I had a little argument yesterday but I'd hardly classify that as marital problems," Evelyn argued.

 "Noo! No no no, My sister that's how these problems start," the apostle Meshack counter argued. "The start subtly and gradually grow into irreconcilable diffences that lead to divorce, no we must pray about this!" Apostle Meshack demanded.

 The Apostle Meshack asked that the stand for a prayer. He rubbed anointing oil on Evelyn's forehead. Placing his hand firmly on Evelyn's head he proceeded to pray what one can only assume was a devil slaying prayer complete with several interjections of a foreign language, known only to church folk as tongues.

 When the prayer session was done Evelyn felt a little woozy so she hurriedly took her seat. Noticing Evelyn's desposition the apostle Meshack proclaimed, "worry not my sister for you are experiencing the power of the holy spirit, hallelujah praise God," in his distinct hoarse voice.

 The apostle then demanded that Evelyn buy a bottle of anointed water. The water was to be added to George's food a teaspoon at a time over a period of about a month. The instructions for use included that Evelyn be as submissive and loving to her husband after she had administered the miracle elixir. The anointed water was said to keep the devil in a skirt away and to keep George focused on only her. The bottle of annointed water set Evelyn back 500 kwacha.

 "You can pay at the accountants office and he'll issue you a receipt, Thanks for coming my sister, be blessed," Apostle Meshack said in conclusion.

 Evelyn left the office feeling thoroughly cleansed of evil spirits and proceeded to go back to work.