Who could love a monster like me

A soft but persistent knock on my door announces Wanda's arrival. I give myself one last look in the mirror before I let her in. A little bit of dark mascara and my favorite red lipstick is all I need to make men and women their heads go crazy. "Hi there Nat!" Wanda says with a happy voice as she enters my apartment. "Hi Wands." She walks towards my TV and holds out a couple of blu rays. "So I wasn't really sure what you wanted to do tonight, but you said you wanted to have some fun so I brought some movies we can watch." She turns around with a spin to face me, and shows me what she is holding in her other hand. "And I have a bottle of vodka to go with it. The good one you like from that small Russian store." With a sweet smile she puts the stuff down on my coffee table. For a moment my heart wells up but I suppress it. Lust, that's all this is. After tonight it will all be over. I can see Wanda checking me out and a cute blush appears on her cheeks. She sees the make-up I'm wearing, my black leather pants and the red satin blouse. "Oh god, Nat. Did you mean you wanted to go out? I'm sorry, I misunderstood your message. I'm not dressed for that at all, but if you give me a couple of minutes I can fix it." I can see her swallow as she rushes to the door, but the moment she passes me I grab her wrists and turn her around, so her back is against the wall. I put my lips close to her ear and whisper: "No, I don't want to go out." If I'm not mistaken I can see Wanda shiver when hearing my words. "I had another kind of fun in mind." My prey her pupils are dilated. "What kind of fun Nat?" She asks as innocently as possible. I give a soft kiss on her neck, adding a little bite. In response a soft moan leaves her lips. "Are you sure you want to do this?" I take a step back. "Does it look like I'm sure?" Placing my hand on my hips I give her a seductive smile. "You'll regret saying that." As soon as the words leave her mouth her eyes get the trusty red color, and I can feel myself flying backwards. With a soft moan I land with my back on the bed, and immediately Wanda is sitting on top of me, sinking her elbows in the mattress on either side of my head.

This was not my intention, I don't like giving up control and she knows it. For some reason I had expected Wanda to be a submissive bed partner, but seeing how the situation is going right now I have to admit that I was probably wrong. Very wrong. "Relax Natalia, let me take care of you." Natalia… I'm not even sure how she knows my real name but it doesn't matter. She leans closer to me and starts trailing kisses down my exposed neck. Without intending it, I can feel myself arching willingly into her touch. A small bite in my earlobe follows and before I know it her lips are hovering over mine. I want her to kiss me but I'm too proud to admit that. Her hands hover over my sides, lower and lower, but when I try to move my arms to grab a hold of hers I notice that I can't. As I take a look I can see that red strings of her magic are keeping me in place. This is absolutely not going as I had planned. "Do you want me to kiss you?" Her voice is but a whisper, and stubborn as I am I'm keeping my mouth shut. "Come on, I know you want to." I squeeze my eyes at her but the only response I get is that she gives me an amused chuckle. There are her lips again, hovering over mine. I smell her breath and I can't deny that all of this is making me very horny. I raise my chest up as much as I can with my hands tied down, and whisper in her ear: "Release me and I'll show you how much I want to." For a moment the red of her eyes is even deeper, it seems that my words are doing as much damage to her as her actions are doing to me. After staring at me a moment in doubt, a twitch of her fingers releases my binds. Immediately I flip her over so that I'm the one on top. Not wasting any more time teasing I press my lips against hers. Without hesitation she opens her mouth to let me in and lets out a soft sigh. My hands pin her wrists above her head, and with my knee I open her legs so that I can put some pressure against her crotch. Immediately Wanda's hips buck up, trying to relieve herself. "Tssss, patience little witch." I whisper against her ear and I can see her shiver in response.

I have never had the pleasure of getting an orgasm while having sex with a partner. The lessons the red room thought us about sex being something to never enjoy was buried deep inside of me. It was used as punishment, as a way to get to your goal, to complete the mission. Even though I did manage to enjoy myself with both men and women, I had never gotten to that point. All of the orgasms I have had were giving to me by me, sometimes with help of my trusty vibrator. And even that didn't always go as smoothly as I would want it to. I'm not expecting tonight to be any different, and that's okay. I get my joy out of seeing her wriggle around in please and I'll finish the job afterwards when I'm alone. Or not.

As Wanda notices my small moment of distraction, she tries to get from underneath me. Instantly I increase the pressure on her wrists. "It's cute that you think you can top me Wanda, but I'm the only dominant one in this room. Do you understand that?" While one of my hands keeps her wrists in place, I place the other one around her throat, putting a bit of pressure on it. Wanda's response is a not so quiet moan. "Ah ah, I need to hear your words baby. Do you understand that?" As I look into her eyes I can see a moment of conflict, she's not one to easily give up control. It's one of the things I like about her. But apparently her need for my touch is too big because with a big wink she replies: "Yes Daddy." I do like that nickname. My lips quirk as I give her my trademark smirk, a single brow raised. I press my lips against hers once more and go looking for her tongue with my own. There is no protest from Wanda, eagerly she parts her lips to grand me entrance and a content sigh follows as they find each other. There is no battle, the need for each other is too high and both of us get lost in the kiss. When I pull back I look at Wanda's swollen lips. I did not expect the kiss to feel this good. "You taste amazing." I whisper against her ear as I put some more pressure on her throat, which makes her back arch up a little bit. After pressing one last kiss on these beautiful lips I trail further down until I reach her cleavage, which is still partly hidden by her white shirt. I pull it open so that I'm met by her bra, not taking in account that I've probably ruined that piece of clothing for ever, and attach my lips to the side of her breast. I put enough pressure so I'm sure to mark her, and Wanda moans out loud when she realizes what I'm doing. Part of me had expected her to pull back or push me away, however what I did not expect was that she would grab my hair and press me even closer. A jolt of arousal goes straight to my clit, which is a sensation I don't remember having before. "I'm yours Nat." I groan in response and notice that I'm starting to lose patience. As I reach for her bra Wanda snaps her fingers and in a red cloud it disappears. A smirk crosses my face. "Nice trick." "I've got more where that came from."

Without hesitation I attach my lips to one of her nipples, sucking very softly while at the same time having my tongue flick it. My hand gives attention to the other one, and Wanda locks her arms around me keeping me close to her. "Oh that feels so good." I can't help but grin internally when I hear this, I want to make her feel amazing. After a while I let go of her nipple with a little plop, a thin streak of saliva runs from her breast to my lips. Slowly I wipe it away with my finger, after which I put it in my mouth and lick it off. As Wanda fixates her eyes on me, I can see that her pupils are very dilated. It's quite clear that pleasure is the only thing on her mind right now. "More…" She whispers and I start a trail of kisses going from her beautiful breasts down to her hip bones, all the way to the edge of her pants. "Please Nat, I need more." "What do you need?" I ask with an evil grin. I'm very much aware of what she needs. A soft kiss against her folds makes her shiver, even with her clothes still covering it. Wanda's fingers against my chin make me loop up, into those beautiful green eyes of hers. "I need you Natasha. All of you, every day, forever." My heart warms up hearing these words, but immediately the voice is there again. Love is for children. I try to push it away: this is not love, its lust. In an attempt to distract myself I hook my fingers behind her pants and pull them down. The first thing I realize is that she's not wearing any underwear, the second thing is that another jolt of electricity shoots straight to my core. Teasingly I start to kiss the inside of Wanda's thighs. Her legs slowly start to shake as a response and I let out an amused huff after which I use my hands to keep them steady. As I'm going down even further it seems as if she's having an even harder time to keep control over herself. When I reach her aching folds I blow a stream of cool air over them and the witch whimpers in response, while closing her eyes. "Nat… Stop teasing!" Before she finishes her sentence I place a small kiss on her lips and her words turn into a moan. Slowly I start licking the most intimate part of her body, using the perfect pressure to get her worked up at a very quick pace. "O-oh, Nat, that feels-… Y-yes please… Don't stop…" I do as she says. I attach my lips to her clit while making a sucking motion, and it doesn't take long before I can feel her body shaking. Her orgasm hits her with force and I can feel her coming on my mouth. With her hand she grabs my hair and makes sure that she keeps my face in place for her to ride out her orgasm. As she comes down from her high I give her a couple more kisses and every time she shudders. I find it adorable. No, beautiful. I sit up straight so I can see her better, and I'm blown away with what I see.

Wanda is lying on her back, breathing heavily as she is still enjoying the after wave of her orgasm. A thin layer of sweat is covering her body, giving it a glistening look. Her muscles are tense and her brown hair is lying around her head like a crown. I lean forward and plant a kiss on her lips. A soft moan escapes the young witch as she tastes herself on my tongue. "You're beautiful…" I whisper the words before I even realize it and she smiles in response. "Not as beautiful are you are, my Russian queen."Wanda's accent is thicker than normal. I'm not sure what to do with this compliment so I just give her a huff. Carefully Wanda sits up and she gestures for me to lie down. After a moment of hesitation I slowly follow her command and have my back touch the bed. Wanda plants a trail of kisses on my neck, and I can't deny the fact that it feels good. "Let me take care of you…" Even though she has already said these words before, there's something different about them. This time they're not only filled with lust but also with warmth and… Oh fuck. Love. This was not my intention. Immediately I want to jump up but her hands push me back down. "Let me try Natasha, I want to make you feel good." Slowly I smile towards her, a sign that she can keep going. Her lips come in contact with my shoulder blades, something that I did not expect to feel so good. Her fingers give a soft pull at my red satin blouse and after I nod in agreement, she slowly opens each of the buttons. Teasingly slow.

For some reason she ignores my breasts and goes further down. For a moment the thought crosses my mind that it's weird that she's aware of the fact that I barely feel anything when it comes to my nipples, a result of the years of abuse they had to endure in the red room, but it's gone just as quickly as I can feel a tingling sensation down under. It's not bad, it's just something that I have never felt before. As I push myself up to look at Wanda, I am met by deep red eyes. "Do you trust me?" Her question causes me to stop breathing for a moment. Yes. No. I don't know. I don't trust anybody. I want to trust her, but can I? You can only count on yourself, lesson number one. Wanda must be seeing the conflict behind my eyes, because she continues: "Do you trust me enough to let me try to please you?" I give her a slow nod, I do. As her finger touches my black leather trousers, they disappear in another red mist. One of her hands makes the movement that I always find so enchanting, and a red little ball of energy appears. As she leans forward to attach her lips to mine, Wanda's magic comes in contact with my clit and oh god… I'm not sure what I had expected but it was most definitely not this. It was almost like electricity but not quite… There was no pain, only a pleasurable feeling that took over all of my senses. "W-Wanda…" My voice is just a whisper but she hears me. "I'm here Natalia. I've got you." Another wave of her hand and a second one appears. "If it doesn't feel good just say stop and I will. Do you understand?" I nod my head and slowly close my eyes, giving in to the experience that is Wanda Maximoff. It's as if something is pushing against my folds, a sensation that is not unlike a vibrator, and I try to relax my muscles as much as possible to let her in. Okay, scratch the idea that it's the same sensation as my vibrator. This is so much better. It pulsates inside of me, but it doesn't feel like a man does. This is something made out of pure energy, it's as if it vibrates and oh god it feels so good. When she places the little ball against my clit once more a deep moan leaves my mouth. It's as if the jolts of electricity keep coming at a quicker pace and I… "Oh…" As my orgasm suddenly overtakes all of my senses, the surprised word leaves my mouth. My body shakes as I'm completely submerged in pleasure. I don't make a single sound, it's as if all of the things I am feeling are going on inside of me. Pleasure. Happiness. Love. Contentment. As I come down from my high, I try to understand what has just happened. I came. I have never had an orgasm with anyone before. My body might be exhausted but my mind is working overtime. She plants a kiss on my lips but I'm too in shock to respond.

Having sex with Wanda was supposed to fix everything, but it didn't. I have never been capable of giving myself completely to somebody except with her. "Natasha, what's wrong?" Worry seeps through her voice, and as I turn to look at her I am met by those gorgeous emerald green eyes. They are full of warmth and love. Love. She reaches out to me but I back up, causing her hand to grab into the air. This was supposed to make everything easy again but instead of that I now want to hold her, lie down with her, kiss her, love her… Love is for children. Love is a weakness. Love will be used against you. Love is a way to manipulate you. You don't deserve love. Nobody will love a monster like you. How can I ever allow myself to love Wanda? And more importantly, who could ever love a monster like me. She thinks she knows, but she knows nothing. She knows nothing about my ledger that's dripping with red. She doesn't know about the countless murders that I have on my name. She knows nothing about the monster underneath my mask. "I can't." I say these words in the calm and cold tone that I have perfected and it's as if I can see her break in front of me. I want to break too, I want to scream and I want to cry. But I can't, I haven't learned how to. Emotion gets punished. I want to love her and comfort her but I can't. Instead I get up, put on some jogging pants and leave my room without looking back, leaving a broken Wanda Maximoff in the Black Widow's bed. Another victim, but this time it had never been my goal.

Who could ever love a monster like me.

And I found love where it wasn't supposed to be

Right in front of me

Talk some sense to me