70. Garage Banned

Garage Banned

[Morning. Lori is sound asleep in her bed when someone's boot kicks her in the face and wakes her up.]

Lori: What? Who is that? [sniffs] Oh, Lana. [pulls the cover revealing the tomboyish twin.] Let me guess, Another bad dream?

[Lana snores, tosses and turns, and unknowingly kicks Lori off her bed. Enter Lola with a serious case of bedhead.]

Lola: Lori, can you get my tangles out?

[Walt appears in her hair and flies away. Lola gives Lori a brush and Lori starts brushing.]

Lola: Ow! Not like a gorilla! [hears Lori's phone ringing and answers it.] She'll call you back, Boo-Boo Bear. [hangs up]

Lori: [angry] Lola!

[The phone rings again and Lola struggles to keep the phone away from Lori, but Lori easily overtakes her and answers her phone.]

Lori: Hi, Boo-Boo Bear. Sorry about that.

[Leni exits the closet]

Leni: Lori, does this outfit clash with my toenail color?

Lori: It's fine. [back on the phone] So, Bobby, how was your night? [Laney comes in wearing a faux fur coat]

Laney: Lori, I was playing dressup but the zipper on this coat is stuck. Can you help me?

Lori: In a moment, Laney. Can't you see I'm busy.

[Enter Lucy and Lynn with the former beating up the latter.]

Lynn: Let go of me!

Lucy: Oh, my beloved!

Lynn: Let go of me!

[Their fight knocks Lori's phone out of her hand.]

Lori: Guys, what are you doing?

Lucy: Lynn broke Edwin's fang. [holds up Edwin revealing his shattered teeth.] Tell her she has to pay for his dental work.

Lynn: He's a statue! The only thing I'm paying for is you getting your brain checked!

[Enter Lisa]

Lisa: If you give me ten minutes, I can warm up my MRI machine.

[Enter Luan]

Luan: Or, we could just give her a CAT scan! [holds up Cliff on the punchline and laughs.] Get it?

Lori: EVERYBODY, OUT! I'm trying to talk to Bobby! [her sisters leave and she sighs heavily.] Finally.

Leni: Real quick. Is this outfit cuter?

Lori: [exasperated] Leni, it's literally the same outfit.

[Leni scoots out of the room and Lori picks up her phone.]

Lori: Ah. Where were we, Boo-Boo Bear? Did you dream about me last night?

[Enter Mr. Coconuts]

Luan: [as Mr. Coconuts] Sure did, toots! We were smooching. And you were loving it. [makes Mr. Coconuts kiss Lori while making smooching sounds.]

Lori: AH! Luan! Get out of here!

[Luan runs out laughing and Lori growls viciously.]

Bobby: Babe, what was that growl? Is there a gorilla in there?

[Lori looks irritated]

[Later, Lori is having a meeting with her siblings.]

Lori: Guys, we have to talk. I am literally almost an adult. I can't live like this anymore.

Lynn: So, you're finally gonna see a doctor about your flatulence problem?

Lori: [offended] What? I don't have a flatulence problem! I'm talking about living in this house. I can't even have an uninterrupted conversation with Bobby or sleep through the night without getting kicked in the face.

Lana: Aren't you kind of exaggerating? [Lori shows a shoe mark on her face proving that she's not exaggerating.] Oh.

Lori: So, I talked to Mom and Dad and they said it was okay for me to move into the garage.

[Her siblings gasp]

Lola: You can't leave! We need you!

Lori: You'll be fine. Laney can handle everything. Right Laney.

Laney: [nervous] Uh.. Yeah of course...

Lori: Besides, I'll be right by the house if you need anything.

[Everyone is moving all of Lori's stuff into the garage.]

Leni: Oh, Lori, you're so lucky you get your own room.

[Lana comes out of a hole in the wall now with a toilet installed.]

Lana: Bathroom's all set. Go easy on her at first. No heavy meals.

Rita: Oh, I can't believe it. Our first little bird is leaving the nest.

Lynn Sr.: I said I wouldn't cry... [he says as he breaks down into tears.]

Lori: You guys, I'm only 20 feet from the house, and you can visit anytime you want. But call first. [shoves her parents out of the garage and finds her siblings still in there.]

Lincoln: Parents. Am I right? So, what are we doing tonight?

[Lori shoves her siblings out of the garage.]

Lori: I'll see you tomorrow. [closes the door. Laney looks at the garage as the siblings head back in the house]

Laney: Do you think Lori will be okay on her own?

Lincoln: Of course she will, Laney. Just like you'll be okay helping everyone around house.

Laney: But I never help sibling issues full time! Lori and I usually split the work.

Lincoln: You'll be fine. We all will. Besides, what's the worst that could happen?

[Time-skip to the next day, Laney was busy untanling Lola's hair]

Lola: Ow! Ow! Quit tugging!

Laney: Sorry, this darn comb is stuck.

Lisa: Fear not, siblings! As it happens, I've been working on a new detangling formula. [sprays it in Lola's hair which cause it all to fall off and leave her bald.]

POOF!

Laney: [frightened at the sight of it] Ahh!

Lola: [frantic] MY HAIR! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?!

Lisa: You should have specified that you wanted to keep it. On a related note, may I keep it?

Laney: No you will not keep it! Hold on, I can still fix this! Uhh... [Laney picks up pieces of the fallen hair and places it back on Lola's head, but it all slumps back down to the floor]

Lola: AGH! This never would have happened if Lori was here!

[As she storms off, Lisa takes some of her sister's hair. Later, Laney was in her room trying to solve a dispute between Lynn and Lucy]

Lynn: I'm still not apologizing for breaking your stupid bust!

Lucy: How dare you call my Edwin a bust!

Laney: Hold on, now. Uh. Lynn? did you know where that piece of Edwin's fang was when you broke it?

Lynn: How should I know? It was an accident. If anything Lucy should apologize to me!

Lucy: Me? Apologize?

Lynn: Apology accepted.

Lucy: That's it! [Lucy tackles Lynn to the ground and they start fighting again]

Laney: How did this even get out of control... [Laney slinks down to the floor.]

Later that night, after all the disputing were put to rest. Laney was having a hard time sleeping after spending the whole day trying to settle said disputes. She wasn't used to solving sibling problems as big as this, not on her own at least. Out of all the sibling who miss her, Laney was the one most upset.

Laney: [sighs] Everyone was right, this would be easier if Lori was here... [Laney got up and went outside to the backyard. She stops as she looks at the garage.] I know I shouldn't bother her, because she's old enough to make her own descicions. But maybe I can ask her for advice...

[Inside the garage, Lori was shaking in fear while holding a rake. She then heard the door opening]

Lori: AHH! [Hides behind the chair] DON'T EAT ME!

[Enter Laney]

Laney: Lori?

Lori: L-L-L-Laney? What are you doing here?

Laney: I came here to see how you are doing.

Lori: Well... I... uh... just doing fine here, Laney. [She heard a creak] AHH! [Hides back behind the chair, Laney looks at her suspiciously]

Laney: Lori? [Lori looks at her and sighs]

Lori: Look. You can keep a secret, right?

Laney: Is this about your bad gas? Because I heard there's a medicine for that.

Lori: Not that! [sighs] I... don't think I like being on my own in here.

Laney: You don't? [perks up] That's great! You can tell the others and you can move back in! [Grabs Lori's hand and heads back in the house but Lori stops her]

Lori: Are you nuts?! I can't go back! I made such a big deal about wanting to be on my own. If I came crawling back now, they'd never let me live it down.

Laney: Well, what else can we do? It's not like you can give them a reason to move back in. [Lori gets an Idea]

Lori: Or can I? Here's the plan. [Lori whispers the plan into Laney's ear and she smiles. The next day, Lori gets some mice from the pet store and puts them on the floor.] Okay, guys, scatter!

[The mice do as instructed and Lori gets on her chair]

Lori: Ahem. [screams] HELP!

[Lincoln, Luna, Lana, Lola (who is now wearing a wig from Lisa's experiment), Lisa and their dad run in.]

Lynn Sr.: What's wrong?

Laney: [feigning] Oh, no! This garage is infested with mice.

Lori: [feigning] Whatever shall I do?

Lynn Sr.: Oh, honey, I'm sure you're- [sees the mice scurrying and hops up with Lori in fear.] -MOVING BACK INTO THE HOUSE! THIS PLACE IS A HORROR SHOW!

Lori: Oh, and I love it here so much. But if you say so. [starts packing]

Lisa: I have a better solution: my new ultrasonic mousetrap. [holds out the invention and activates it, sending hypnotic waves which control the mice into going in.] It works due to the simple-minded nature of the mice. [sees Leni until the power.] Not you, Leni! [deactivates it] Problem solved. And it's a win-win. I get new research subjects, and you get your beloved abode back.

Lori: [irately grateful] Great.

[Everyone leaves except Lynn Sr. who's still cowering.]

Lori: Dad, the mice are gone.

Lynn Sr.: [puts on a confident face.] Uh, yes, well, glad I could help. [leaves]

[Lori looks on annoyed.]

Laney: Sorry, Lori. I forgot to count that we have a genius sister. So now what? [Lori thinks for a moment and then she gets another idea.]

Lori: Ah ha!

[The garage toilet springs a leak]

Lori: Ahem. HELP! I'VE GOT A LEAK!

[Lynn Sr., Rita, and Lana rush in and see it. Rita: Uh-uh. This is bad. You can't stay out here.

Lori: [feigning despair] No! [casually] You're probably right. [Lori winks at Laney who is revealed to be the one that she cause the leak by loosening the pipes and hides the wrench before anyone notices]

Lana: Don't worry, sis. I've got this. [blows a whistle] BUCKET BRIGADE! Come on Laney you too.

Laney: Uhh... [Lana gives Laney a bucket and pushes her]

Lana: GO! GO! GO! GO! GO!

[Lynn passes a filled bucket to Lola who passes it to Lisa who passes it to Lucy who passes it to Lincoln who passes it to Luan who passes it to Luna who passes it to Laney who passes it to Leni who pours it out and Lana fixes the toilet.]

Lana: I replaced the PVC with galvanized steel, so she should definitely hold now.

Lori: [lividly thankful] Great. [The siblings leave but Laney stood]

Laney: Sorry, Lori. I also forgot to count Lana's experince in plumbing.

Lori: No worries, Laney. I got another idea.

[In the living room, the kids are doing their things when Lori comes in.]

Lori: You guys, help! I think the garage is haunted! [shows them a message on her mirror that reads "GET OUT!"] See?

Lucy: "GET OUT!" Hmm...

[Lori notices a lipstick dispenser which reveals she used it to write the message on the mirror and kicks it under her dresser with no one noticing.]

Lucy: [cracks knuckles] Let me do my thing. [performs a séance] Oh, spirit, speak to me. Hmm... [claps and turns the lights on] The ghost just explained everything.

Laney: Wait you mean there's actually a ghost here?! [Lori covers her mouth]

Lori: Well of course there's a ghost. And, clearly, he wants me to leave. [grabs her luggage]

Lucy: Actually, he said you can stay. He's leaving. Something about yoga farts.

Lori: [offended] Okay, that was the floorboards! [sees her siblings leave and lays on her bed. Laney walks up to her] Let me guess, you forgot that Lucy can speak to the dead? [Laney nods, she sighs] Just go. [Laney leaves]

[Back in the house in the living room, Luna is strumming her guitar and Lincoln is reading a comic and Laney was watching tv downtrodden]

Luan: Dang it, Luna! Your fog machine warped Mr. Coconuts' head! [shows her dummy's disfigured head]

Luna: Can't prove it, dude!

Luan: Lincoln, tell her she has to pay to get him fixed!

Lincoln: Um...okay. Luna, I think Luan has a point. You should pay up.

Luna: [shaking her fist threateningly] You wanna think again, brah?

Lincoln: Yes, I do. Luan, I think you should accept that fog machines are a part of life.

Luan: [as the facially disfigured Mr. Coconuts.] I wouldn't be too hasty, Slick! My cousin's a baseball bat!

Lincoln: [dismayed] I wish Lori was here. She always has the right solution.

Laney: [despondent] She sure would...

[Later, Lori and Luan are washing the dishes.]

Luan: Well, all done. I'd love to hang out and dish, but I'm sure you wanna go back to your place now.

[Lori still waits, realizes, and looks at her watch.]

Lori: Uh, first, I should say goodnight to everyone. [runs into the living room to her other siblings.] Goodnight, Leni. Goodnight, Luna. Goodnight, Lynn. Goodnight, Lincoln.

Lola: Move! You're blocking the TV!

Lori: Pfft. Well, now I'm gonna have to start over. Goodnight, Leni. Goodnight, Luna. Goodnight, Lynn.

[A crash is heard]

Lori: [gasps] What was that?

[The kids rush outside to see that Mr. Grouse ruined Lori's plan.]

Mr. Grouse: Dang it! I put her in reverse by mistake and knocked down the wrong garage! Can I still have your dad's lasagna?

Lincoln: [suspicious] Knocked down the wrong garage?

Luna: Dad's lasagna?

Laney: Lori, what's going on?

Luan: Yeah, you've got a ricotta explaining to do! [laughs] Get it?

[They all angrily squint at Lori.]

Lori: [nervous] Heh, heh. Well, I kind of maybe paid Mr. Grouse to wreck the garage so I wouldn't have to live there.

[Her siblings, sans Laney, altogether question why Lori would do such a thing.]

Laney: Lori and I tried to come up with excuses to move back into the house.

Lincoln: Wait, you were in on this? But why

Lori: I thought all I wanted was to be away from you guys. But I only ended up missing you. I was just too embarrassed to admit it.

[Her siblings all show consolation and gratitude to her missing them and they all hug.]

Mr. Grouse: Nice reunion, Louds! But what about my garage?

Lana: [gives him a business card] Call me. I'll give you a quote.

[Mr. Grouse looks annoyed.]

[Later that night in the Loud House.]

Bobby: So, it turns out it wasn't a moldy marshmallow or a mouse. It was a chincilla. I named it "Lori".

Lori: [touched] Oh, Boo-Boo Bear, that's so sweet. [slightly offended] Wait. Is that like a rat?

Leni: [opens the closet door and poses] Lori, what do you think?

Lori: Love. You literally look like a model.

[Leni looks flattered. Lana runs in with boots covered in mud.]

Lana: Lori, can I sleep in your bed?

Lori: Of course. [notices the boots] Boots off.

[Lana kicks the boots off and gets on Lori's bed. Enter Lincoln and Lisa.]

Lincoln: Lori, tell Lisa she can't harvest my kidney!

Lisa: Tell Lincoln he only requires one! [breaks out a sleep mask.] Now let's do this!

[They fight over the fate of Lincoln's kidney.]

Lori: Lisa, you took his appendix. Don't be greedy.

Luan: Yeah, Lisa. Have a heart, but just not mine. [laughs] Get it?

[Enter Laney]

Laney: Lori, can you help me with my jacket?

Lori: Certainly. [Lori fixes the stuck zipper]

Laney: Great to have you back, Lori.

Lori: Great to be back.

[Enter Lola with her hair all tangled up again.]

Lola: Lori, can you detangle?

Lori: [holding a hairbrush] You got it. [sighs] I really missed all of this.

[The minute she brushes Lola's wig, it comes off and Lori screams in shock at the sight of it.]