71. Change of Heart

Change of Heart

[Laney and Lincoln were sharing books in the dining room. Lincoln was having some carrot sticks. He vaccumes one in his mouth right when doorbell rings.]

Lori: [on the phone] Whitney, wait till you see my new shoes. They will literally blow your mind!

[She opens the door and it turns out to be Clyde who is struck by her beauty.]

Clyde: [nervously infatuated] L-L-Lori? [gets a nosebleed which spills on Lori's shoes, making her scream so loud the crows fly away, and faints.]

Lori: [aggravated] Ugh. Never mind, Whitney. [hangs up]

Laney: I'll clean that up for you. [Grabs a cloth and starts wiping the blood off Lori's shoe]

Lori: Lincoln, this is the fourth pair of shoes Clyde's ruined this month!

[Series of flashbacks of all the other pairs Clyde ruined. First, Lincoln and Clyde are reading comics in his room. Enter Lori with the luandry basket.]

Lori: Lincoln, do you have any laundry?

Clyde: [sees Lori] L-L-Lori? [nosebleeds and gets her shoes ruined, making her scream.]

[Next, the boys are looking in the fridge for a snack and take out a dish with Lori right behind them.]

Lori: Hey, you'd better not eat all the leftover gazpacho.

Clyde: [nervous] L-L-Lori? [starts acting like a robot] SYSTEM OVERLOAD. DOES NOT COMPUTE. SYSTEM OVERLOAD. DOES NOT COMPUTE. SYSTEM SHUTTING...DOWN...

[His shut down knocks the gazpacho out of Lincoln's hand and lands on Lori's shoes.]

Lori: GAH!

[Now, Lori is in Vanzilla.]

Lori: Mom, Dad, I'm off to practice! [notices Clyde in there for some reason; startled.] Clyde?! What are you even doing here?

Clyde: [shaking] L-L-Lori?

[His nose blood squirts right onto her shoes. Lori just bangs her head on the steering wheel's horn. End flashbacks as they put Clyde on the chair.]

Lincoln: Maybe you should try wearing red shoes. [sees Lori growling at him; scared.] Right. Bad idea, Lincoln.

Lori: [calm] Ugh. I just wish Clyde could act normal around me. [leaves]

Clyde: [comes to] So do I, my sweet angel. So do I. [opens a locket of a picture of a startled Lori.] But how am I supposed to act normal around such a beautiful, flawless... [starts nosebleeding again. Lincoln shoves carrot sticks up his friend's nose.]

Laney: Clyde, have you tried taking deep breaths when looking at Lori? That's what I do when I'm nervous around someone. Now, pretend I'm Lori.

Clyde: Okay. [His nose starts bleeding again]

Laney: Yeah, this isn't gonna work.

Lincoln: Don't worry, buddy. We'll figure something out.

Mr. Grouse: [from outside; talking to Leni] Dang blast it! Eberhardt's dog went number two on my lawn again!

Leni: Try doing what I do, Mr. Grouse. I'll name all 40 states, and by the time I'm done, I've forgotten why I was mad.

Mr. Grouse: Well, actually, it's 48. But I'll give it a try. [starts naming them in alphabetical order] Alabama, Arizona, Arkansas, California...

[Lincoln had watched it from the window.]

Lincoln: Actually, Clyde, I may know someone who can help you!

[Cut to Leni in the living room.]

Leni: Sure! What do you need my help with?

Clyde: [stammering] L-L-L-L...

Leni: Lemons?

Clyde: L-L-L-L...

Leni: Leggings?

Clyde: L-L-L-L-L...

Leni: Of course! Loofahs! Well, first of all, natural fibers are the way to go.

Lincoln: He's talking about Lori.

Leni: Oh. She doesn't use a loofah. [whispering] That's why she has bacne.

[Lincoln facepalms]

Laney: No, Leni. He needs your help on how to talk to Lori.

Clyde: I want to learn how to act normal around her, or at least just stop bleeding on her shoes.

Leni: Have you tried shoving carrot sticks up your nose?

Clyde: Yes! And bread sticks, and pretzel rods, and corn dogs, which you really need to let cool down first.

Leni: Well, no worries. I know other ways to help you. [takes Clyde. Laney follows them]

[In the kitchen]

Clyde: I wonder where Laney is? Isn't she gonna help too?

Laney: [Offscreen] Here I am! [Clyde and Leni look to see that Laney is wearing a sweater vest, fake glasses with no lens, like a therapist. She is also holding a pen and a notebook.]

Clyde: Wow, Laney. You kinda look like Dr. Lopez.

Laney: Well, I always fancied of being a therapist due to my deep understanding of people's problems. There hasn't been a patient I couldn't cure. Well, that's what I think. I never rellay had a real patient before. But, now that I have you as a patient Clyde. This will be my greatest challenge yet. Now let's begin. [As she speaks, Laney pulls out a chair and looks at the two accross her. Meanwhile, Lori peeks her head from the second floor and sees Lincoln playing video games.]

Lori: Lincoln, is Clyde still here? This is literally my last pair of wearable shoes.

Lincoln: Don't worry about Clyde. He's hanging out with Leni and Laney.

Lori: Really?

[From the kitchen, Leni and Clyde are laughing. Lori peeks in to see it.]

Clyde: Oh, Leni.

Lori's Thoughts: Leni and Clyde? That's...weird.

[Later in the basement]

Laney: Okay, Clyde. The next step to fixing your problem is explanation. Can you tell us what happens when you see Lori.

Clyde: Well...

[Meanwhile in the backyard, Lori is practicing her golf swing.]

Lori: [narrating to herself] If Lori Loud can sink this four-footer, she'll literally win the Masters.

Lynn: Heads up!

[A frisbee comes by and Lori ducks and swings. Lana and Lynn laugh and chase after their disc. The golf ball lands right next to the cellar window.]

Clyde: [inside the basement] And if I don't get a nosebleed, I'm usually doing this. [does his robot impression] SYSTEM OVERLOAD. DOES NOT COMPUTE. [mimics power down]

[Lori witnesses it]

Lori's Thoughts: Hmm...I only thought Clyde acted like an awkward robot around me.

[The frisbee hits Lori]

Lori: Oof! [falls into a hole]

Lucy: [holding a shovel] Do you mind? This grave is spoken for.

[Lana notices what happened and sheepishly leaves.]

Laney: Excellent, Clyde. we are really making good progress. Now that we know the problem we can get started on how are we going to fix this. Let's go back into the kitchen and we can give you some tips on how act normal.

Clyde: Okay.

Lori: [on her phone] Carol did what? Hang on, Whitney. I literally need chips for this story.

[Leni, Laney, and Clyde are in the kitchen.]

Leni: So, when somebody makes me nervous, I just stare at their left air and recite my ABC's.

Clyde: Got it! Great tip. [writes it down]

Laney: And if that doesn't work, try not thinking about Lori too much. I do believe that is the root of your problem.

Clyde: Got it. [Writes it down]

Lynn: [from outside] Heads up!

[The frisbee flies into the kitchen and hits Clyde in the nose.]

Clyde: Ow! [starts bleeding from his nostrils and covers it up.]

[Lori enters giggling and sees them and hides.]

Leni: [with blood on her shoes] My shoes!

Laney: Lynn! Please watch where your throwing this next time, okay? [picks up the frisbee and throws it back]

Lynn: [from outside] Sorry!

Laney: Here, let me clean that up for you.

[Lori had seen it]

Lori's Thoughts: Laney used to clean up Clyde's blood off my shoes. [Lori gasps] This can only mean one thing: Clyde likes Leni!

Lori: [jubilant] I'm free! I'm free! [gasps with joy and runs to Vanzilla.] Oh, I am going shoe shopping! [drives off]

[Later, Lori returns with new shoes. Leni gets a call and answers.]

Leni: Oh, hi, Clyde. What a nice surprise.

Lori's Thoughts: Oh, poor Leni. I wouldn't wanna be in her shoes. Literally. Ooh! Lori, that was good.

Leni: Thanks for the shoe cleaning supplies. It was totes sweet of you. You're the most thoughtful person I've ever met, Clyde.

[Lori looks at some gifts Clyde gave her in the past.]

Lori's Thoughts: Well, I will give him that. He is pretty thoughtful.

[A series of flashbacks of her receiving those gifts is shown. First, there's a telescope with a note on it and she reads it.]

Lori's Thoughts: "Congratulations. A new star has been named after you: Corona Lori-alis."

[Lori looks into the telescope and an arrow points to the star in question. Clyde falls out.]

Clyde: Whoa! [thuds] Oof!

[Next flashback takes place in winter where Clyde has made a literal snow angel that looks like Lori, but Charles runs up to it to pee on it.]

Clyde: Charles, no! Not on my snow angel!

[The next flashback shows Lori coming home defeated in a golf game. She finds a teddy bear on the steps and reads the note on it.]

You may have lost your golf tournament, but you'll never lose my heart.

[Lori presses the bear]

Teddy Bear: I love you fur-ever.

[Lori doesn't like it very much. End flashbacks. She presses the bear again.]

Teddy Bear: I love you fur-ev... [breaks down] ...er... [pops an eye]

Lori's Thoughts: [gasps] What am I thinking? I have to get Clyde back!

[Downstairs, Lincoln, Clyde, Laney, and Leni are all playing video games together. Enter Lori with a pitcher.]

Lori: Oh, hey, guys. Just wondered if anyone wanted some lemonade.

[Her very presence puts Clyde in a paranoid state as he tries to act normal.]

Lori: [confused] Clyde?

Lincoln: Ooh! I'll take some!

Lori: [angrily] Get your own. [tosses glass aside]

[Clyde relaxes]

Leni: Great job, Clyde. You were in the same room as Lori and no nosebleed.

Clyde: Yeah. Your ABC's trick really worked.

Leni: It always does...unless you have to go past the letter P 'cause then it gets really hard.

Laney: Now it's on to step two: eye contact.

[The sun is blazing, but Lori is wearing a wintery scarf.]

Lori: Brr! Boy it is chilly today. So glad I have this cozy scarf Clyde made me.

Lincoln: It's 85 degrees, and you're sweating.

Lori: [growls like a lion at Lincoln; sweetly to Clyde.] Clyde, wherever did you learn to be such a great knitter?

[Clyde stares at Lori, holds his breath, and runs back inside.]

Leni: It worked?

Clyde: [exhales] Yup. I just held my breath, like you said.

Laney: Yes! I've never been so close to figuring you out! Now it's time for the final step: confrontation. But first, let's go to a more familiar enviroment.

Clyde: Alright. Just give me a moment. [hyperventilates into his paper bag.]

[Clyde's house]

Laney: Ready, Clyde?

Clyde: [petrified] Okay, I'm ready. Let's do this!

Laney: Alright! Commence simulation. [Lincoln gives her a thumbs up and knocks on a support beam]

Lincoln: [Acting] Oh, someone's at the door. Who could it be? Why, it's my eldest sister, Lori.

[Enter Leni dressed like Lori]

Leni: [Lori impression] OMG. Bobby, texting, literally.

[Unbeknownst to them, the real Lori is coming over with a comic.]

Lori's Thoughts: Clyde can ignore the lemonade and the scarf, but this limited edition Ace Savvy comic will definitely do the trick.

Clyde: [shaking] H-h-h-hi, Lori. H-h-h-how's it going?

Laney: That was great!

Leni: Super job, Clyde!

Lincoln: Yeah! You sounded totally natural!

Clyde: Thanks. [shows an ice pack under his shirt] The ice pack was a great idea. [removes it] It really kept me distracted; though I can't feel my bellybutton.

[Lori approaches the door]

Leni: This has been totes fun. You're such a great guy, Clyde.

Clyde: Thanks, Leni. And may I say, you've never looked more beautiful.

Leni: Oh, Clyde! [giggles]

Lori: [tosses the comic and growls] That does it!

[Back at Clyde's house, Clyde steps out with confidence.]

Laney: Clyde. I'm proud to say that you're finally cured.

Clyde: All of my thanks go to Leni. Her advice really worked.

Leni: Why, thank you Clyde. Now. You ready to go have a normal conversation with Lori?

Clyde: You know it! [holds up a fish from his shirt] I just hope this frozen salmon takes longer to melt than that ice pack did.

[Clyde salutes to his trainer. She and her brother give him a thumbsup and he makes his way to Lori. Lori steps out of the bathroom and sighs. Clyde is being followed by a pack of cats who smell the salmon.]

Clyde: [nervous] Nice kitties.

[He sheepishly smiles and runs screaming with the cats in pursuit. Lori descends the stairs and Clyde approaches the door. Lori opens it and sees Clyde standing on the step.]

Lori: Clyde! I was just on my way to see you. There's something I really wanted to tell you. First, I wanted to apologize for never appreciating how kind and thoughtful you are. And second, I wanna thank you for making me feel so good about myself all these years. You're a special guy, Clyde, and literally anyone would be lucky to be your crush.

[She hugs him, and this causes his nostrils to bleed all over her shoes, much to her fright. Lincoln and Laney catch their unconscious friend.]

Lincoln: Lori, what happened?

[They bring Clyde to the sofa.]

Lori: I don't know. I was just telling Clyde that I'm okay with him liking Leni now, and-

Lincoln: What are you talking about? He doesn't like Leni.

Lori: But I saw them in the kitchen. He got a nosebleed all over her shoes.

Laney: He got hit on the nose by Lynn's frisbee.

Lori: Well, why was he acting like a robot with her?

Lincoln: He was just showing her what happens when he's around you.

Lori: But I was just over at his house. I heard him say she was beautiful.

Lincoln: Because she was dressed like you!

Lori: What? Why were they doing all this?

Lincoln: Because Leni was helping Clyde learn to act normal around you, just like you wanted.

Laney: Yeah. And we were trying to help him.

Lori: So...he never stopped having a crush on me?

[Lincoln and Laney shake their heads no and Lori looks at Clyde with joy.]

Lori's Thoughts: HA! I knew it!

Lori: No you didn't!

Lincoln: [disturbed] Uh...who are you talking to?

Lori: No one.

[Enter Leni still in her Lori costume]

Leni: Oh, no! Poor Clyde.

[Clyde suddenly comes to and sees the real Lori and Leni in her costume.]

Clyde: [nervously infatuated] T-T-T-Two Lori's? [goes into robot mode] SYSTEM OVERLOAD. EE-OO. [starts bleeding and malfunctioning across Lori and Leni.] EE-OO-EE-OO-EE-OO.

Lori: [notices her shoes covered in blood, gasps, and smiles.] Hm. I'm glad the old Clyde is back.

Clyde: [still malfunctioning] EE-OO-EE-OO-EE-OO-EE-OO.

Laney: [runs outside] Wait! Clyde, come back! We can still make this work! I can squeeze you in for a five-o-clock appointment next tuesday! [sighs] My first real patient, and my last... [Clyde spins, scurries off and knocks over Mr. Grouse's trash cans while he's gardening]

Mr. Grouse: [irate] Why you lousy-hmm? [remembers what Leni told him] Ooh. Alabama, Arizona, Arkansas...