Chapter 19

[This is a sponsored chapter. Thanks to Hestey =)]

-TATAKAE-

'...I'm tired.'

Zoro, who had just left the hospital, rubbed his eyes. It was already getting dark outside. Considering it was November and the sun sets early, it meant it was quite late.

'I wanted to go straight home.'

Toji had insisted on taking Zoro to the hospital, which thwarted his plan. Despite repeatedly asserting he wasn't injured, Toji insisted on getting the examinations, leaving no choice but to comply.

Although some test results were still pending, the outcomes thus far were perfectly normal. Well, the doctors did find it odd that for someone who just turned four, his height and physique were quite large.

Toji glanced sideways at Zoro.

"Are you okay?"

"Ah, it's nothing."

Gurgle.

Just then, Zoro's stomach growled, making his face turn bright red. Toji chuckled a bit. Zoro often got embarrassed over trivial things. It seemed not much had changed since before they parted ways.

"Do you want to grab something to eat on the way home?"

Zoro immediately shook his head in response to Toji's question.

"I need to go home."

It was almost time for the nanny to leave. If he didn't head home now, Megumi would be left alone.

'That's absolutely not happening.'

"Are we walking? Or should we take a taxi?"

Zoro asked. Toji suddenly remembered how Zoro had almost lost his way several times while walking to the hospital earlier.

...Taking a taxi would be best.

"I'll hail a taxi. Stay here."

After looking at Toji's face for a moment, Zoro spoke up.

"No, let's go together."

"...Alright then."

Zoro immediately reached out and grabbed Toji's hand. Unlike the usual behavior of children not wanting to be away from their parents, Zoro, even though he held the hand, positioned himself a good distance away. Precisely, he was behind Toji.

Toji couldn't help but smirk at the overt gesture. Zoro was now blocking any retreat. The implication was clear.

"You don't trust me."

Me.

Considering it, it really would have been foolish to immediately trust a father who hadn't shown up for over six months after the mother's death.

"I'm not yet worthy of being treated as a father."

Toji was painfully aware of his misdeeds, too aware to feel slighted by Zoro's hesitation.

Ignoring Zoro's attempt to intertwine fingers, Toji hailed a taxi. Once seated next to Zoro in the back seat, he suddenly asked.

"How's Megumi?"

Zoro's head turned slowly towards Toji, his look sharp, as if criticizing Toji for asking only now.

"He's doing well."

He even started speaking a bit. Though, for the most part, it was just calling Zoro "Dada."

"Apologize to Megumi properly."

"...Alright."

Toji knew well that an apology might not make much sense to a baby not yet a year old, but since Zoro insisted, he agreed to do it.

"And tell him you love him."

"...Do you say that to Megumi?"

"I do. Because I promised."

To their mother.

Swallowed by rising memories, Toji remained silent. Zoro said nothing further. The taxi driver, sensing the atmosphere, also kept quiet, leaving the car in silence.

When the taxi stopped in front of the house, Zoro quickly exited, his eagerness apparent as if he couldn't wait to get inside.

Toji lingered for a moment, gazing at the small house.

"..."

He had finally come back.

"Let's go."

Zoro grabbed Toji's arm, pulling him along with a surprisingly strong grip. Toji didn't resist, allowing himself to be led inside.

As they opened the door, Megumi, seated in his crib, smiled broadly at Zoro. However, when Toji followed inside, Megumi squinted at him, tilting his head in a mix of curiosity and uncertainty.

Inside, the nanny was preparing to leave for the day. Upon seeing Toji follow Zoro in, she frowned.

"Who's this...?"

"Their father."

"...Eh? Hello?"

Her voice rose at the end, clearly surprised. Understandably, she hadn't expected someone who had never shown up during her employment to suddenly appear.

Seeing someone new, Zoro glanced at the nanny and asked.

"Did anything happen with Megumi today?"

"...No, nothing."

This was the first time the nanny responded directly to Zoro's question. Toji noticed a subtle awkwardness and reluctance in her voice, causing his eyebrows to twitch.

After getting the answer, Zoro went to wash his hands. Seemingly uncomfortable under Toji's silent gaze, the nanny mumbled something about it being time for her to leave and quickly exited.

Zoro, returning from washing his hands, noticed Toji's stern expression and asked.

"What's wrong?"

"That nanny. Does she not like you?"

"She ignores me, mostly."

"...Why?"

"I wouldn't know."

Zoro then hurried towards Megumi's crib.

"Dada."

"Have you been good, Megumi?"

Megumi waved his arms towards Toji. Zoro pointed at Toji with his finger.

"Megumi, that man is your papa."

"Ba, pa?"

"Not bapa, papa."

"Dada."

"Right, I brought him here."

"Come here, Toji," Zoro called.

Toji walked slowly to stand in front of Megumi, who had grown noticeably since the last time he saw him. Although still small and tender, Megumi now had a distinct human shape.

Green eyes met green eyes. Megumi reached out his hand towards Toji's face. The little hand first touched the chin, then moved up to the cheek, mouth, and nose, exploring as if someone blindfolded was feeling their way.

Toji slightly lowered his head, allowing the small hand to touch his forehead.

"Pa."

Megumi uttered softly. His hand gently caressed around Toji's forehead and then...

—suddenly, he grabbed a handful of Toji's hair and pulled hard.

"Ouch."

Both brother have such strength. Toji grumbled.

"Papa! Dada, ow!"

"Megumi, stop. If you grip too hard, your nails will dig in and hurt your hand."

It's my hair that's being pulled out, my little sea urchin. Toji gently unfurled Megumi's tight grip on his hair.

Seemingly in a bad mood, Megumi puffed up his cheeks and huffed. With his spiky hair and round face, he looked exactly like a sea urchin. My children are like marimos and sea urchins. Toji once again seriously contemplated how things had come to this.

As Zoro stroked Megumi's hair, the child calmed down and gave a beaming smile. The stark difference in his demeanor when interacting with each of them left Toji feeling bemused.

Yet...

'...Is this a good thing?'

After all, during his absence, his children weren't alone.

The sight of spiky hair unavoidably brought to mind someone else. Before spring arrived, leaning against the bed with Megumi, looking at Zoro's face and smiling that clear smile.

"Please take care of Zoro and Megumi."

Toji hadn't kept his promise. It was Zoro who had looked after Megumi, and Zoro who had taken care of himself. It was what Toji should have been doing.

"..."

He envisioned that person in front of him, their beloved grey eyes moist with emotion. The lips sealed tight in a mixture of resentment and sadness.

I asked you to.

Toji smiled bitterly. He spoke to his children in front of him and to his wife, who had already departed.

"I'm sorry."

...I'm sorry.

He opened his mouth to speak, then closed it again. Toji felt he had no right to say those words.

Not to his child, not to that person.

"Papa's name is Toji. Now, try saying it. Toji."

"To—ji."

"Good job. I love you, Megumi."

"Dada."

Toji silently watched from a distance as his little ones comforted each other. His heart ached.