Utopia

"Give me some good news." I said into my headset while waiving my entourage into the Pentagon conference room ahead of me.

"Project: Purple Horde is viable." came the voice on the other end of my communicator.

"That is exactly what I needed to hear right now, Junior." I nodded my head though he couldn't see it from the next system over.

"Mom?" Mark Junior hesitantly asked.

"It didn't work. Nothing's changed." I sighed.

"I… I thought…" Mark Junior choked up then found his grit, "I am sure everything will work out."

"Exactly. It's not a matter of faith when we are involved, son." I told him, "We never fail."

"We just make early attempts at success." He stated and waited for me to end the call.

"Now get out there and father me an army worthy of the Old Empire." I laughed and cut the transmission.

I entered the conference room in a much better mood now that I knew the Division of my male descendants sent to Thraxa could father viable children on the bug woman females of the species. I'd do the honors myself like Thragg did in the comics, but been there done that, and the Flaxan Viltrumite Hybrids were so close to pure Viltrumite that you needed the birth records to tell they weren't made in house.

The Thraxan Viltrumite Hybrids didn't share that same quality, but as they say 'quantity is a quality all of its own', and no one pumps out new soldiers like Thraxan mommas.

I chuckled briefly about supplanting the bad guys in the story, beating both Robot and Thragg to their big achievements via the power of the True Gift of the Viltrumite Empire and my willingness to give it over and over again holding nothing back from my first pump to my last doing my duty to save the species.

Slapping my hands together to center myself once more I looked around at the uncomfortable people mostly seated around the conference table and the stoic Flaxan Viltrumite soldiers keeping them from trying anything stupid.

Mostly seated because of Rudolph Conners' life support pod. The deformed and wretched creature suffered the disgusted gazes of the other occupants of the room save a few. He waited near a gaggle of the greatest minds on the Earth: D.A. Sinclair, The Mauler Twins, Dinosaurus, and the gravity guy that OG Mark got hired to the GDA without ever learning his name.

I refused to learn the man's name to allow him to maintain that mystique.

And lastly…

"Is this genuine Italian Maple?" Machine Head asked while examining the conference table.

"Brought in because I knew you would notice." I smirked, "Gentlemen, welcome to the Illuminati, you are now in charge of the world."

I turned to leave, but the calls of 'What!' pulled me back.

"It can't be that hard to figure out what is going on." I looked at them, "Just think about who we have in the room. You've got six of the finest scientific minds the world has ever produced with expertise across many fields, a cyborg with advanced quantum probability prediction capabilities, the guy in charge of the world's largest shadow government organization. My dad has four hundred and eighty years left on his contract to conquer this world, which means he is the recognized undisputed ruler of the planet by the Viltrumite Empire. You eight are going to make the world worth ruling.

You all will have the full support of the Neo Viltrumite Empire from the Flaxan Dimension for both your work and any personal projects you might be interested in, generous compensation, and expansive retirement options, and if you ever think you can step to us you are more than welcome to try. You will fail and everyone who has ever even had the audacity to sell you a pack of chewing gum will be brutally hunted down and executed, but you are always welcome to try. Just ask your Flaxan co-workers how well that has worked out for them the last thousand years if you start feeling too big for your britches. It will be a damn shame to kill you people."

"So we are in charge?" one of the Mauler Twins pointed to himself.

"Yeah." I nodded.

"Finally!" the other shouted and the pair gave each other a thunderous high fives.

"Your concern for sustainability is compelling. I will comply." Dinosaurus crossed his huge arms and nodded his enormous TRex head.

"I want to do my job from a private island surrounded by enormous piles of money." Machine Head stated with an unfolding of his hand.

"Done." I snapped my agreement.

"A new body." Rudy wheezed.

"I've been perfecting Mauler tech for centuries." I informed him.

"I knew someone stole our shit." One twin growled.

"No, I told you someone stole our tech." The other fixed a heated glare on the first.

"Why am I even here?" gravity guy asked as he had yet to even start his villain career.

"Because I know better." I answered the stood up to leave, "Now you boys have fun. I'm going to go pound some burritos and meet my new kids."

Within ninety days of forming the Illuminati, Machine Head's prediction models showed a statistical certainty of Earth becoming a sustainable utopia. Even in the case of a zombie breakout.

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"This whole… not being in charge thing … it's fucking great. I don't know why Cassiopeia was in such a rush to take over. Being the crown prince is awesome." I laughed as Kate and I sat on the couch at home in our bath robes catching up on the must see TV and movies we missed while away in the Flaxan Dimension.

"Ohh… he got left at the alter again." Kate hissed at the finale of the Bachelorette, "That's three times he has made it to the end only to get dropped after the fantasy suite."

"He obviously doesn't have what it takes in the bedroom." I stated as my heart went out to the guy, "Poor fucker needs to figure something out. Take some courses or something. Three times is a pattern."

"I know…" Kate cut off as a green portal opened up in our living room.

I immediately stood up and started clapping, much to the shock of the absolutely ugly mother fucker who stepped through.

"Angstrom Levy!" I laughed, "You are here to recruit me for your cabal of evil Marks to destroy Mark Prime. I hoped this day would come, but never said it out loud. Oh… happy day."

The man with a horrendously disfigured face held together with technogimp hardware and a swollen brain all the way down his shoulders looked at me with immense confusion.

"Hold on just a moment." I said as I zipped off into our bedroom.

"Honey!" I shouted, "Where is my super suit?"

"What?" Kate shouted back.

"Where is my super suit?" I yelled again.

"I.. uh.. put it away!" she yelled back.

"Where?" I shouted.

"Why do you need to know?" she shouted back.

"I need it to go on adventures with my new friend here!" I yelled to her.

"This guy that just rudely shows up in the middle of our living room is your friend?" Kate scoffed loudly.

"Yes!" I declared loudly back, "He and I are going to go wreck Otto Von Bitch Mark! This is a once in a lifetime opportunity to kill myself! Plus there will be a bunch of other versions of my there to kill too! And all of them are really douchey! We are going to be absolutely spoiled for assholes to annihilate!"

Kate turned up with our super suits in hand and a look on her face I hadn't seen in ages: excitement.

"Let's hurry up and go do gross bodily harm on you." she said as she pulled on her purple suit, "Come on, we don't want to keep your friend Levi waiting too long."

We came down to see Angstrom still trying to gather his composure, "You guys are really enthusiastic about this."

"Hey man," I grinned as I put a hand on his shoulder, "How big of a statement do you want us to make?"

"The biggest one possible." Levy grinned his horrible fucked up grin.

"Then we have a stop to make." I smiled, "Have you ever been to Kathmandu?"