After cleaning up with some divine power, courtesy of the stone organ, we returned to the smith's cottage, smelling like roses.
"Alright." I clapped garnering everyone's attention, "It's go time guys. Come on out."
Margo yawned as she came out.
"Took your sweet time."
"Let's just get this over with." Penny groaned.
Alice was out third followed by the rest, but as usual she was rather silent. But I could see clear as day the nervousness that the other two were veterans at hiding under those gruff outer shells.
"Finally." Eliot put an arm around me, taking a bite out of his apple as he gestured into the distance.
"Today, we make history!"
"Yeah. About that....." I faked a bit of hesitation as I continued, "I have some news."
"That doesn't sound good." Quentin
"Good news or bad news?" Eliot asked.
"A bit of both. Which do you want to hear first?"
Eliot took a deep breath and deflated.
"I'd kill for some good news right about now, so....shoot. It's an imperial decree!"
"Of course your majesty." I smiled, "So, good news. We killed the Beast. Took him by surprise, vaporized him whole with the orbital bombardment. He's gone. Full and final."
"Without us?" Margo pouted.
"Well...after Josh and Vicky bailed, I could see your nervousness. I mean look at Alice. You guys were not ready for battle. Not against a master magician."
"You don't know that!" Margo protested.
"Margo, look me in the eye and tell me half of you wouldn't die if we had fought the Beast head on." I asked her straightforward.
She went to answer but caught her tongue, glaring at me with frustration.
"My point exactly. Look, I didn't want to lose you guys." I looked at Eliot, "Especially after the sacrifices we've made. So I took a calculated risk."
"Wait, so if you beat him, then... what's the bad news?" Alice asked.
"Yeah. The bad news....you see when I caught him by surprise, I found him casting a spell on the Wellspring, something big. And well, with his last breath, he did it. He cast that spell."
"What was the spell?" Eliot asked.
"I don't know but it can't have been good. It's effects were immediate and ....huge."
Margo's eyes widened in realisation.
"No....that earthquake we felt half an hour ago was...?"
I nodded.
"I don't know what he did to the Wellspring, but I saw it crack and shake.
Whatever it was, it was big. And if it was successful....I have a feeling we will start seeing it's effects soon. For now, I have quarantined the Wellspring under wards, but that won't hold for long. So I came back as fast as I could. This is our chance. You have to be crowned High King soon. If a disaster is coming to Fillory, we will need as much power as we can get to tide it over. Even more so for you since you can't leave Fillory."
Eliot gulped as the implications of my words settled in.
"Alright. Let's go and get me my rightful crown."
"Everyone else on board with it?" I extended a hand to Eliot, who grabbed it tight and extended his own to Margo, forming a chain.
"You didn't exactly leave us much choice...." Penny sighed, and grabbed on.
"Let's hope you're wrong." Alice did the same, "Because I don't want to know what happens when someone breaks the Wellspring."
"Neither do I?" I turned to Quentin, "Which way to Coronation Island?"
"South, past the Rainbow Bridge, in the Fjords of the Hen's Teeth Mountains."
"Okay. Here we go! Cue the travel montage music!" I cast a musical spell as This Land Is Your Land by Sharon Jones began to play.
Secretly I also cast a perception altering spell on them all that made it seem as we were going through everything at super speed.
And off we went.
.
I landed us down by the Rainbow Bridge, as everyone except me and Yue fell down to their knees and emptied their stomachs, much to my amusement.
"I never want to fly again..." Eliot panted, collapsing into the floor.
"People aren't meant to be catapulted at supersonic speeds!" Quentin cried, shivering in fear.
I could hear his heart pumping from here.
Hehehehe. Nearly pissed his pants.
They all did.
"I thought you were going to teleport!" Margo leaned on a tree, huffing as she wiped her mouth.
The others echoed her sentiments too.
"Oh, I'm sorry. Did you want to walk all the way here?"
"Could have at least warned us, asshole!" Penny hurled again.
"Heheheheh, but where's the fun in that?" Yue and I giggled at their misery.
"Since when could you do that anyways?" Margo asked.
"Benefits of swallowing I guess." I smirked, "Besides, I wanted to at least try it once before the god power ran out. Just appreciate it for the once in a lifetime experience it is!" I huffed.
"It'll be too soon if it's a once in multiple lifetimes event." Quentin replied.
"Yeah, yeah. You've whined enough. Man up you pussies. Look around you." I twirled around, arms spread eagle, "The sky is blue, the sun is shining, the world is saved and fantasy has returned to it's whimsy!" I leaned in to smell the flowers that made up the Rainbow Bridge, a bridge woven magically from flower bearing vines, forming a canopy of a myriad of colors and fragrances mixing and matching into a dreamlike experience, slung across a grand misty canyon, against the backdrop of the picturesque valleys and fjords that made up the Hen's Teeth mountain range.
I smiled with serenity as I took in the sight, a soft breeze carressing my face, flower petals drifting in the wind.
Truly, beautiful.
A natural wonder, as expected of a fantasy world.
"Have some fun while it lasts." I added, "Your....Our just rewards. This is what we fought to protect. The world we saved." I put an arm around Eliot's shoulder as he got back to his feet, "The legend we carved into the history of this world."
"This would be the perfect picnic spot." Eliot sighed, a soft smile blooming on his face.
"Ask and you shall recieve." I snapped my fingers and a picnic basket appeared on the ground, and a mat spread out on the cliff side meadow, in the shade of a nearby tree.
"Okay, what can't you do?" Margo chuckled, plucking out a sandwich a d munched down.
"Right now, I'm so juiced up, I feel like I can do practically anything. I'm like the genie." I lied.
I was doing all of this using divine power.
But, I needed to butter them up.
Make sure I get one crown at least. To get the authority to use the flying ship that took you to the reverse side of the world.
Sure, I could just portal over, or teleport in. Or fly there myself. But I'd have to fight lava monsters and simultaneously search for the Castle At The End Of The World, The Perfect Prison.
Castle Blackspire.
And that, is too much work. Why not just use the flying ship that knew the way and cut me some slack?
Well, that was for later for now....
"Who wants to play some DEATH FRISBEE?" I lifted a red plastic frisbee in my hand, and tapped it.
Margo snorted with laughter.
"Death Frisbee? That looks like a regular frisbee."
"Well the Death part comes from the steep cliffs around us."
"Yeah..... suddenly I don't feel like playing." She said.
"Why? Because you'll lose? You Chicken?" I taunted.
"What? I'd kick your ass at frisbee any day!" Margo waved me off.
"I hear a chicken. Buck buck buckaw!" Yue teased playfully as Eliot chuckled.
That ticked her off.
"Oh now you've done it, bitch. Eliot back me up. Let's show these losers what's what!"
.
Finishing the picnic and thoroughly enjoying our time here, we crossed the bridge, and arrived at a huge lake between the moon shaped Hen's Teeth range, and walked the beach following a series of ram head shaped roadmarks along the sandy shores of the lake till we came upon a thin stretch of land leading to an island in the middle of the lake.
On the island, lay more ram heads, placed in a semicircle around a podium like spectators.
Upon the podium, lined with worn marble pillars, sat a large chest.
And leaning against the chest sat the body of a knight.
"Is he sleeping or just...dead?" Margo asked
"Let's find out!" Eliot tiptoed over to the knight.
As soon as he came within hand's reach of the knight, the man suddenly coughed up dust and came to life.
"Oh dear...." He scanned the podium, looking us over, "Oh dear! I'm sorry. It seems I must have died waiting for the aspirants to the throne to arrive!" He said abashedly as it it was his fault he died.
"You are.... aspirants, correct?" He asked.
Eliot removed his backpack and walked up proudly.
"Yes. I, am Eliot. High King. I took a blood test."
"Magnificent. Yes. Good. Good." The knight nodded.
"Welcome your majesty. I am the knight of crowns. It is my job to crown the kings and queens of Fillory, should they prove worthy."
"Oh boy. I smell bullshit." Penny rolled his eyes.
"I'm sorry for the smell. My body must have rotted over the years. I'm afraid I cannot do anything about it."
"Yeah, yeah. We get it. Can we have the crowns now?" Margo asked.
"Just as soon as you pass the test."
"There we go." Penny threw up his hands, "It's always some shit with these people."
"How rude! These tests are meant to root out pretenders to the throne! They are very important!"
"Yes. We get it. What is the test?" Even Quentin was annoyed by this point.
"The test is simple! You must answer my riddles three. Only a child of earth and the true king of Fillory may answer them correctly." He emphasized.
"Come at me." Eliot waved him to hurry.
"Of course. Here is my first question. Which popular american tv show stars the actor Tim Daly?"
"What the fuck?!" Eliot looked around in confusion.
"He was in a lot of shows." Alice replied.
"There is only one correct answer." The kinght insisted.
"Okay. Give me the next question." Eliot, the ever patient, asked politely.
Seriously. I don't get how Eliot can be so nice?
I'm of half a mind to blow the guy to bits and just take the crowns.
But for him, I entertained the man.
"As you wish. The second question is this! This hit single is performed by the offspring of famous entertainers."
"Dude, that is crazy vague." Margo said.
"You may get one hint." The knight said.
"Sure. Give me." Eliot said.
"Here is the hint. Beach Boys."
Almost in accord, Alice and Margo answered.
"Hold On by Wilson Phillips."
Penny raised an eyebrow as ge looked at the two.
"That song is my jam." Margo shrugged.
"Wait, all these questions are from the 90s." Alice noted.
"I-i-it's not the 99s on Earth right now?"
"No. It's 2017." I replied.
"Oh and it's Wings. The Tim Daly show, it's Wings." Quentin answered.
"Of course you'd know that." Penny teased.
"Okay. That's enough." I pointed at the knight, "That should prove we're from Earth, so give us the crowns."
The knight pondered for a moment and nodded.
"Yes. Indeed it does." He looked at Eliot and bowed before opening the chest and picking out four crowns, each made in different designs, one with rubies set in gold, ankther of silver and emeralds, the third with lapis and bronze and the fourth with pure gold olive branches looping around the rim with topaz berries hanging off them.
And as soon as he had handed them over, the knight fell dead once again, this time scattering into dust.
Shame. I wanted to try out my orbital beam on him.
"So I guess we just put them on?" Eliot raised the golden leaf crown to his head when Quentin stepped out.
"No, god stop. I-i-i mean th-this is a once in a lifetime opportunity! We should uh....we should honor it."
"We can honor it with a massive feast in the royal castle. Why waste time on ceremony here?"
"It's important, okay?" Quentin raised his voice.
Huh? I guess if it means that much to Q, I guess I can let him have it this once.
"Sure. If you want. But I get a crown too! That was the deal."
"Yes. You'll get a crown too." He walked up to Eliot and took the crown from him.
"Kneel, Eliot Waugh." Eliot smirked and Quentin sighed.
"Would you just do it, please? It's going to be quick.
Eliot nodded and yielded, kneeling down on the podium, as Quentin lifted the crown above his head in ceremony.
"So destiny- it's bullshit." Quentin fumbled the beginning and I had to fight the urge to zone out from the cringe.
Ugh.
The things I do for friendship.
"But you are high king in your blood. And somehow that makes sense you know?
A-and I-i just- for what it's worth, I think that you're going to be a really good king. So..um..uh I- I dub thee, um...I don't know- would you say you're more brave or merciful?"
"I'd say I'm neither." Eliot chuckled before a serious expression covered his face.
"But I still plan to be a spectacular monarch."
Quentin nodded and placed the crown on Eliot's head.
"I hereby dub thee, High King Eliot. The Spectacular."
Eliot gulped thickly, choking on emotion.
"Wow. Uh... this feels as natural as underwear." He stood back up and hugged Quentin, "Thank you."
Next Margo knelt down and Eliot grabbed the second crown.
"By the power vested in me by...I don't know." Margo giggled and Eliot smiled.
"I do hereby crown you, High Queen Margo. the Destroyer. I mean that in the best possible sense." He turned back to us.
"All hail. Everybody clap."
He turned back to face her.
"I have known, what you truly are since the day we met. Long may you reign."
He said kissing her forehead.
Dammit Eliot, you ray of sunshine.
This was beginning to grow on me, cringeworthy as it was.
A small private ceremony.
Friends, for the first time in years.
I didn't even have friends in college.
I don't know-
"Jay, come." Eliot beckoned and I walked over, kneeling down.
"You practically hard carried us, but I'm still grateful that I got to go on this adventure of a lifetime with you. For giving my life meaning. Thank you.
I hereby dub thee, King Jay, The Creator."
I... didn't have anything to say as he out the crown on my head- no. I'm not getting emotional, you're getting emotional.
Shut up.
I sniffled and wiped a tear as he pulled me into a hug.
"Don't cry now, idiot. Shouldn't you be quipping something sarcastic and dumping on Quentin?"
"I told you I'd get boring fast." I replied.
"There's the Jay I know and love." He patted my back.
This is nice.
I smiled warmly as I looked Yue smiling from her seat on a broken pillar.
I felt.... happy.
I parted from Eliot and Quentin stepped forward, for his turn.
"Shit....since we're cleaning skates, give me..." Margo picked up the last crown.
"Q?" She called him and he knelt down.
"Uh...I could start by saying something cruel yet totally hilarious about you. Let's be real, you're an easy target. But that's- well, that's because you're honest about what you love. And underneath it all, that's.... Inspiring. And... I'm sorry too. Now that we're ruling a kingdom together, let's be better than before?"
"Friends." Quentin grinned wide and stupid.
"Yeah... Let's go with that." She shrugged and placed the crown on Quentin's head.
"I hereby crown you King Quentin, the Moderately Socially Maladjusted."
"Royalty bitches!" Quentin cheered as he stood back up as we clapped.
"Okay. Let's head back. I'll take you to the castle." I said.
Everyone suddenly seized and hesitated.
"We'll teleport. Sheesh. I prank you once.... " I grumbled, putting them at ease as they grabbed my hands.
But I was lying.
And in an instant, we were off again, hurlting through the skies, as the rest of them glared daggers into me.
Hehehehhhehehehe.
________________
And here we gooo!
Was the crinfey shit necessary?
No.
Was it good character growth?
Also no.
But was it good for the mc to have a chill pill every now and then and be a human for once?
Yes. Absolutely.
Thanks for reading.
Next time, the beast hunt arc comes to an end.
Till then, see ya!