Back and Forth.

Mikayla Druid thinks she can put me down by being...like my "stepmother", doesn't she? The truth is I don't mind playing this game, it's just boring to me. Right, Chris'...

"What's wrong with you?" Mrs Druid's exit left an impression on me so much, I forgot about Chris and his weird behaviour for a second...a second too long, I don't know her! Getting carried away again;

"Hey, what's wrong with you, are you sick?" He didn't hear me. I'm being ignored by my manager?

"Huh? Oh, nothing's wrong with me. I was just wondering were I've seen this Mikayla Druid from before." Hmm?

"She looks like that woman who was stalking you last year but her eyes and hair are different." No way!

Last year around this time, there was a girl who wanted to collaborate with me for the fashion show but I'm unreliable and the reasons for participating in the show are different from those who want to establish their own brands or pursue a career in fashion designing so Chris rejected her, the girl for whatever reason thought I was looking down on her and started playing pranks, it got so bad I received a box with dead mice. We filled a complaint and she disappeared after that.

Can't be, right?

If you're wondering why I'm participating in the show then, I'll tell you but don't laugh...the reason is nothing motivational, I love to paint as you know and in uni I took designing major so...how to say it, I felt it would be a waste if I didn't once a year take part in something fashion designing. I know, I know but what I can say? It was hard to earn that degree and I don't want it to be decoration.

You can scold me now...

"It can't be right?" I mean, I didn't agree to collaboration, is it worth it to torment me all her life?

"Who knows?"

"But she's married to Sebastian!" It can't be!

"Well..."

"Forget it, we'll deal with it as it comes. Let's get to work."

Because I'm not letting that woman ruin my schedule for me, this show means something to me dammit!

The next couple of days are trouble free, troubleless meaning my "stepmother" hasn't tried anything new and Mikayla Druid hasn't come to do checks, I'm going back and forth from home to the company - wait...not troubleless; - my husband keeps me up at night, well, I'm busy - so, so - and the dresses are coming up nicely, the new models are more vigorous than the previous ones; not that Victorian dresses could use more vigor. The heaviness, the corset, the layers...silk, lace - lace, silk; okay so not so troubleless but it's good, I'm keeping the schedule.

It's night now, I'm on my way home later than normal today - I'm using work as an excuse, there's a beast in my house I'm trying to avoid, don't tell him I told you that...

Sigh; what was I excited about I wonder, my husband bullies me...and if you're spotting a smile on my face, don't point it out, I guess... I'd like to complain but I can't, he's damnable handsome face is a sin! Sigh, I'm a lost cause, aren't I?

I'm free tonight though, Fin won't be home hence my going home late. (⁠ ⁠ꈍ⁠ᴗ⁠ꈍ⁠)

Yep, definitely a lost cause.

My poodle can finally have his bond time. Fin does not like Ty. Dog vs Dog. I don't intervene in their squabble, I can't. It's a male dog thing. Ha.

"TT..." Only one male voice calls me that, so my dad's home.

Deep breath in. Deep breath out.

It's his first time back since that night...

"Dad, you're back..." You can just feel the enthusiasm reeking out of that, right?

"Come here, I'll like to talk to you." Great, exactly what I want to do. You read my mind. - Not! Why is he back?

But like the obedient daughter I am, I go to the couch and sit across from him, at the end of the day the man has given me a whole bucket of money, the least I can do is listen to what he has to say and hum where I should. Not difficult...

"Before I knew it, you've grown so big, with your own life and a husband." Huh?

"I know your mother and I aren't the best parents, we're not parents at all." Huh?

"We've disappointed you..."

"Dad..." What's going on?

"Don't say anything. We got caught up in our relationship that we neglected you, it's our fault." Ah...

"Dad..." Okay, I can't lie but what's with his defeated stance? I don't want them to suffer, on the contrary I'd like us to be cordial if we can't have father-daughter relationship, I'd like to have them in my life.

"Your husband, I thought his name was familiar so I investigated him." Ha. I spoke too soon. Blame me, seriously, I'm too naive.

"Don't give me that look. Trent, that man no matter how brilliant, how charming, he's a killer. He's dangerous. Are you sure you want to spend the rest of your life with him?"

I jumped the gun there, forgive me...you know, when you get used to someone's behaviour, that tends to happen, you too develop a response to their behaviour with one of your own. Toxic, judgmental and whatever you can think of but I admit, I was wrong.

Father. I guess this is the feeling, the feeling one will have for that word - father. It's my first time seeing sincerity from him, something akin concern. Father. Is this what it's like? I don't know, I don't know how to act. Is he concerned about me, really concerned and no tricks or anything? I don't know. That's sad, isn't it? I'm looking at this man and I can't trust him, I can't open myself to him. I'm thinking, what comes after this...isn't it sad?

"Dad..."

"Look TT, I'm not going to tell you what to do but I want you to know, I'll be there, I'll be there for you if it ever gets dangerous...

"I'm old. I've made mistakes and my daughter looks at me like she would a stranger. TT, my beautiful river, I really don't know where time went and when I realised it, it's already so late. Too late..."

He leaves me there, dumbstruck. What just happened? Dad...

Yes, that's all he's ever been to me. Dad. It's customary now, isn't it? It lost having meaning, being dearly a long time ago. Why now?

Tell me, was I too much defending Fin last time? Why would he be like this now, what's he expecting from me? I've given them countless chances before, I've extended as many olive branches as I could and have always gotten nothing, not a damn thing in return. Am I wrong?

I need a drink.

I really need a drink.

When I stand to leave, I find my mother standing there... silently crying. Guess she heard everything...

I'm getting a headache. Damn it all to hell!

What do they want? They're the parents here, what exactly do the expect from me?

"Don't hate him, okay? At least, don't hate him." Just, who's dying?

"I don't hate him." I don't. I don't hate either of them, I feel...nothing for them besides, tiredness.

"That's worse, at least with hate, he could ask for forgiveness."

Dumbstruck twice. Why do I feel I'm the one at fault? What should I do, be fine with everything they do and bear with it?

Ty's puppy eyes aren't this numbing. I'm at a loss.

This is where Margaret or Mama Jewel usually come in, Margaret - we'd go out and drink till there aren't thoughts giving me a headache, only the alcohol. Mama Jewel - she'd make me a nice soul serving pudding and tell me how the world is vast and God can't always get it right.

There's no one now...

Fin's arms would be good too.

So, the problem is me?

I have alcohol in my house, it'll do the trick.

My second glass in, my phone rings, I let it ring but it continues the second time... Let me be, dammit.

"Hello."

"Mrs Merwe forgets her husband the moment he's out of sight?" Is it easy...

"When are you coming back?" Or else I'll be let around by him and end up with a vindictive wolf on my back, it's better to steer the conversation to safe topics.

"Miss me?"

"Yes. You're all I think about, I miss you so much I can't bear it." Yeah, my bad mood is seeping right into the phone.

"What's wrong?"

"Dad came home..."

"What happened, I'll come back immediately." I want to say yes so badly.

"No, it's okay. Nothing bad happened. I'll be fine, tell me...is everything going okay your side?"

I'm not trying not tell him on purpose, this is how I am. This how I deal, I only need someone to be there with me but won't say what the problem is. It works wonders.

"I'll try to be back before the show. Be good till then, okay?" So long, more than a week?

"Where are you?" Really, where is he and what's he doing?

My father's words are still fresh in my mind. It's not like I want to know every knook or crook of his life but I want to a little bit, knowing he's not dangerous to me apparently isn't enough. That seed my mind, it was there from the beginning and now, it's sprouting.

"I'm in Country C. I'll bring you with me next time." He's good at talking, his face is good... what dangerous combination.

"No, no, no. Take your time. I'll wait for you. Just, make sure to come back..."

"Mrs Merwe, I really miss you."

ಠ⁠‿⁠ಠ

SOS: My husband's mind is filled with... with... Argh. What do I do?

Tomorrow, there's the preview show. I wonder what schemes will I have to block...